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M is for the murders you inspired!
O is for the only son you had!
T is for the terror that transpired!
H is for the horny teens that made you mad!
E is for the evil that won’t retire!
R is for the revenge of your drowned lad!
Put them all together they spell mother.
Someone we would like so much to please,
But this mother bests all the others
And her name is PAMELA VOORHEES!

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Back in the early 1970s, before I could read to myself, my lovely mother would read me a bedtime story every night. Like most children, I got to choose which book mother would read from. There was one I kept going back to…Donkey-Donkey by Roger Duvoisin. It’s about a donkey that isn’t happy with his ridiculously long ears. He seeks out advice from all the other farm animals on how he should wear his ears…down like the dog, out to the side like the cow and the sheep, or to the front like the pig. He tries all the different ways and after a few mishaps, finally realizes that his ears are fine just the way they are…long and straight. It wasn’t because of it’s sweet lesson of, “being happy with who you are”, but for the horrific event on page 14 that I chose this book almost every night. I hated page 14 but couldn’t wait to see it because it made me feel so anxious and weird. This was the page that poor Donkey-donkey accidentally stabs his ear on a “wicked nail” that holds the scythe on the stable door.
The combination of the scythe, the blood, Donkey’s agonized expression, and that creepy spider on the barn wall freaked me out every single night. I knew it was coming and I couldn’t wait to be terrorized by the picture and my mother saying, “wicked nail.”
Last Valentine’s day, my very thoughtful wife bought me a brand new copy of Donkey-Donkey. As soon as I saw the cover all I could hear in my head was my mother’s voice, “Wicked nail…wicked nail…wicked nail…” Needless to say, I couldn’t wait to get to page 14.

→ 3 CommentsTags: Traumafessions

1) I can’t believe you haven’t said anything about SLEEPAWAY CAMP, specifically the freaky ending. I saw this as an adolescent at a slumber party in the 80’s and we had lots of fun mocking the lame kills and acting, but that image of Angela standing naked over her boyfriend’s severed head and doing that weird gutteral “hissing” still affects me as a 32 year-old. I don’t believe I slept a full night in my own bed for at least 2 weeks after seeing that!

2) A made-for-T.V. movie I saw in the 8th grade called FROM THE DEAD OF NIGHT starring LINDSAY WAGNER and BRUCE BOXLEITNER (I had to visit imdb.com to look up the name of the movie) really freaked me out. LINDSAY plays a woman who has a near-death experience and sees these weird shadowy figures in a tunnel before she’s resucitated. Well, the shadowy figures want her back and begin stalking her. I don’t remember much else about it, but the thing that really sticks in my memory is a kid on a skateboard who is killed and possessed by one of the spirits and rolls after LINDSAY’s character in the dark (I think it was a parking garage, but maybe a dark alley, can’t remember.)

3) Another made-for-TV movie that got to me was THE STRANGER WITHIN starring RICKY SCHROEDER and KATE JACKSON. I had a HUGE crush on RICKY from watching SILVER SPOONS as a kid and seeing him play such a convincing psycho really tainted my pristine memories!

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I remember my older brother would play the radio in his bedroom non-stop all day and I was forced to hear it. Sometimes they would have horror movie commercials on and they would scare the crap out of me. The all time worst was one summer when they started playing ads for a T.V. show called PRISONER CELL BLOCK H over and over again. One ad was about a woman who buried a baby alive in her garden. Our neighbors had just had a baby and all I would do was picture it buried under the dirt and it would give me the shivers. Once I forced my friend to bury one of her dolls and pretend we were on that show. I still feel guilty about that and remember being worried that she would tell on me!
UNKLE LANCIFER SEZ: Monica, I remember that show, it was an Australian import soap opera that was aired stateside in the early eighties. I was forbidden to watch it, so of course it became my favorite thing to see. There was always something messed up going on and thanks to your TRAUMAFESSION, I just spent a good part of a sunny day watching its insanity on Youtube. I’m sorry I could not find the radio spots you mentioned, but if you want to bring back some bad memories I suggest you FOLLOW SUIT. Thanks for also bringing up radio spots in general. I remember back in the old days hearing that stuff on the radio and those things really made your imagination run wild. Every once in a while you can find a superior DVD that includes them, but in the meantime I dug up THESE and THESE. Maybe you can stick them on your iPod and listen to them while you’re burying dolls!
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I suffered through an evening alone with several trauma inducing TV shows and commercials. This was the first time my parents allowed me to stay home by myself. I was maybe 10 years old. I wanted to watch WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS on Creature Double Feature (Channel 48 in Phila. in the ‘70s). They agreed, but said, “No company, and you can’t go outside.” I made it through the movie fine. It was what happened next that scared me out of my wits. The next offering on Creature Double Feature was some ghost story. I decided to find something light to take the edge off since it was now getting dark outside.
I flipped channels to find something to watch. I settled on the haunted house episode of WILD, WILD WEST. The one where they wake up in the house and their guns are rusted, like they had been there for years overnight. What are the odds that WILD, WILD WEST would be scary? It was to me, so I turned again. The commercial that was playing on the next station was for the weird magazine, Man, Myth and Magic. The face on the cover was, the devil I guess. Again, scary to me. I turned again, just in time to see JULIET MILLS channeling LINDA BLAIR in the ad for BEYOND THE DOOR. Well that was it! I spent the last half hour out on the front porch. What really scared me was that the shows and ads seemed, to my impressionable mind, to be timed to each twist of the T.V. dial - just like it was done purposely.
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I saw THE WORLD BEYOND A.K.A. THE MUD MONSTER on the later side of puberty, which meant that I actually wanted to sit through it. For some inexplicable reason, the local TV station sometimes programmed this in place of after school cartoons. I would get get home from school, flip on the tube expecting Tom and Jerry, and instead be treated to this claustrophobic, supernatural thriller about a couple pursued through the woods by a creature made from mud and sticks. I remember turning it on to a scene where the guy comes upon a crude man-shape dug out of the earth: the ‘womb’ of the monster. My mom comes into the room and nonchalantly says, “It’s a mud monster. It has a skeleton of sticks”. I remember thinking. “How the fuck does she know that?” The reality of watching this kind of fare in the long, lonesome, post-school hours was terrifying enough, but what really sticks in my head is the scene where the guy is anxiously carrying a bag of anti-mud monster salt through the forest — and he drops it in a puddle, only to watch helplessly as it melts. This was my defining intro to psychological terror. As I remember it, the monster itself didn’t get much screen time.

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