Sunday Viewing :: The Last Shark (1981)

Here's a nice beginning of summer treat for y'all. It's like a delicious Italian water ice with a tasty shark fin sticking out of it! I've wanted to chomp on this one for a while but the copies I found were always too murky. Happily, this particular upload looks semi-sharp. Poor little adorable LAST SHARK (aka GREAT WHITE) played in theaters back in 1981- that is until it was yanked out due to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS being big babies and crying "copycat" while sucking on their greedy, humorless thumbs. I guess I do kinda see their point, LAST SHARK does indeed like to pretend it's JAWS but how many other films can that be said about? I guess the rub is that LAST SHARK's parroting hits uncomfortably close to the mark. Ironically enough, it reminds me a lot more of what I love about JAWS than either JAWS 3-D or JAWS 4: THE ORGIN OF HOAGIE. It's got all the primary colors, stark backdrops, super swank swim fashions and satisfying doses of mutilation that JAWS' crustier later entries sorely lack (not that I don't have affection for those dummies too).

Plus this movie is amiable enough not to tease. The giant shark here doesn't coquettishly bat its shark eyelashes from behind a wave; it gets all up in your grill Italian-style like it's inventing the selfie (at least near the end). Importantly, the creature's scene chewing talents are exactly zero match for our born for this kinda thing hero VIC MORROW. Obviously UNIVERSAL was just jealous! How else can you explain the fact that those sue happy vestiges of originality went and swiped this film's explosive climax and used it (and the shark's inexplicable roar) in their insane 3-D sequel? Of course this also swam is no JAWS (duh) but it's the only shark movie I'm aware of that has a line the likes of, "One thing's for sure, it wasn't a floatin' chainsaw." Yum!

NOTE: Allow me to add too that unlike any official JAWS film, this flick has a killer opening theme song! Even if you don't watch the movie listen to the groovy tune below! It will make you happy for approximately 24 hours…

NOTE 2: Hey look! The hand on the teaser poster is the same hand from the MORTUARY ad (not to mention THIS book cover). Silly hand, stop getting into so many dangerous predicaments! It's your own fault, hand!