Month: October 2007

This quintessential family movie is most children's first experience with cinema's remarkable capacity to induce fear. No upbeat musical number or happy ending can undo the ordeal that is Dorothy Gale's Journey. Unconvinced? Take out the hallmark sentiments and what do you have? The story of a young girl with presumably dead parents whose beloved pet is handed over to the town psycho for euthanasia, whose happy home life is erased by the wrath of mother nature, and who's transported to a nightmarish netherworld that's populated with hideous troll creatures, governed by a floating green demonic head and terrorized by a poppy pushing witch and her army of ghoul-faced flying monkeys. Certainly, there is "no place like home" if this hell zone is the alternative. As if her new stomping grounds were not uncomfortable enough, said witch has a personal vendetta against Dot since she inadvertently crushed her favorite sibling to death under a house when she showed up. Sure, she makes a bunch of fast pals with the local gays, but it's only after being forced to commit homicide that she is viewed worthy of returning home.

INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

Any involving Margaret Hamilton's brilliantly villainous witch, easily the most enduring female villain of all time. Her sarcastic word-play taunts, "Scarecrow, wanna play ball?" were decades ahead of similar child stomping wisecracker Freddy Krueger.

Alright, perhaps the makers of the original Oz can be given the benefit of the doubt. They weren't intentionally trying to curdle the child audience's peace of mind. But what in blazes were the makers or "Return" thinking? Unflappable Fairuza Balk's journey is unquestionably grim and horrific and there's no musical reprieve in sight. Poor Dorothy is immediately sent to the nut-house for jabbering about her previous visit to Oz, these ramblings are diagnosed as delusional and intensive shock therapy is suggested. (Kudos to the madman who designed the shock machine because they were clever enough to make an atrocious happy face out of its dials and knobs.) Mother Nature again intervenes though this time she mixes things up by sending a deadly flash flood Dorothy's way. Once returned to Oz, she finds her old friends turned to stone, an indescribably twisted marauding gang of thugs known as "wheelers" and an equally misanthropic Witch who collects decapitated heads like Imelda Marcos collected shoes. Her new pumpkin-headed pal Jack seems nice enough but not exactly the kind of figure you'd want tucking you into bed at night. Obviously great effort was made to duplicate the feel of the original L. Frank Baum book's illustrations by W.W Denslow, and the results are gorgeous but undeniably creepy. Although considered a major misstep upon its release, "Return" has garnered much favor over the years. It may be one hell of a twisted vision but that just might be what makes it so unforgettable to its fans and perhaps one of the most underrated films of all time.

INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

• Mombi's screaming heads coming to life followed by her headless body
• The attack of the screeching, maniacally laughing wheelers.