kindertrauma

Month: May 2008

Sparrows

Posted on By unkle lancifer

 

fly sparrows fly!
In case you thought the concept of "kindertrauma" was something new under the sun, here's a silent picture from 1926 to dispel that notion. SPARROWS sings the tale of Mother Molly (MARY PICKFORD) the eldest in a group of orphans being abused at the hands of a sinister Dickensian "baby farm" overlord named Mr. Grimes (seriously creepy GUSTAVE VON SEYFFERITZ). Realizing that he's in danger of having his racket found out, meanie Grimes intends to destroy the evidence by dumping the kids in his care into the deadly swamp that surrounds his farm. Mary orchestrates a harrowing escape through said swamp and Grimes, realizing one of the tots has blackmail value gives chase. The murky crocodile minefield provides plenty of peril and thrilling narrow escapes for the plucky proto-final girl PICKFORD whose every hurdle only inspires more determination. Heavily influenced by German expressionist cinema and a guiding source of inspiration for the equally exquisite NIGHT OF THE HUNTER, SPARROWS is a dark fairy tale whose patches of humor keep it miraculously buoyant. PICKFORD, who was in reality 34 at the time, delivers her last juvenile performance and she's a real head-butting scrapper. She's actually hilarious on more than one occasion which is a marvel considering the oppressive, yet undeniably gorgeous surroundings created by set designer HARRY OLIVER. It's hard to beat a dense gothic swamp as a perfect environment to display both the beauty and casual cruelty of nature and director WILLIAM BEAUDINE uses it to his advantage at regular intervals. True, a superfluous boat chase and leisurely epilogue can't compete with the film's earlier high points in the swamp, but it's only fair to allow PICKFORD and her crew a happy ending. Heavy with religious themes (the big J.C. even makes a cameo), the title itself refers to God's unavailability to aid the kids because of his preoccupation with every sparrow that falls. (One kid inquires why sparrows got such pull with the man upstairs). In the end, it seems God may have not been so busy after all, but I still think Mother Molly deserves the lion's share of the credit. Gee, a world where religion is shown as a source of inspiration and hope rather than a cloak to excuse ratty behavior? You gotta love those olden timey days! 
  
   
          

KINDER-NEWS:: "Temple Of Doom" Sucks Less Than "Last Crusade"

Posted on By unkle lancifer

leave Indy alone
Everyone accepts that there are certain lies we have to pretend are true in order to get along in the world; giant, smelly falsities that are presented as public knowledge which one must humor in order to escape lynching and being burned at the stake. I can bite my tongue when folks say JULIA ROBERTS is beautiful or that RON HOWARD is a good director just to keep the social wheels greased and my head off the chopping block. I'll even let unfair criticisms of TOBE HOOPER slide when I'm in the right mood. Unfortunately, I can not hide my ostrich head in the sand any longer concerning the reputation of INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM. Are people (including Director STEVEN SPIELBERG) really currently in the process of rewriting history and claiming that it is the weakest of the Indy films? Really? How much crack to you have to smoke to come to that conclusion? I admit DOOM may not be as good as the original RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK but let's be fair, that had KAREN ALLEN, an evil monkey and melting Nazis. That's a formula that's not going to be bettered in our lifetimes, but to allege that DOOM is a lesser film to that bores-ville third installment is flimflammery and chicanery of the highest order and I won't stand for it any longer! DOOM is not the ginger-headed step child of the Indy franchise!
I won't go into why LAST CRUSADE is a bit of a dud because the idea of watching it again, in order to give it its fair shake, makes me snoozy. Suffice to say that the sewer of rats and that vapid blonde chick (ALISON "thanks for the free joke in your name" DOODY) really don't cut the mustard. Furthermore, downplaying the supernatural element and up-playing the heroic "BOND"-isms is all kinds of wrong. DOOM on the other hand at least carries the dark occult-ish baton from the original's final act and runs with it. Is it too dark? I guess if you are a CARE BEAR it might upset you. If you're over the age of just born though, you might find the darkness shown as a way to… I don't know present "DANGER" of some sort? SPIELBERG sites his then recent divorce for the tone of the film, well, you know what Steve, go with that feeling! You're really good at that dark stuff… DUEL, JAWS = masterpieces, that fluffy HOOK stuff, not so much. If you're going to distance yourself from one of your films, I'd go with THE TWILIGHT ZONE. Your corny contribution to that film was easily the weakest link. That might not seem like a big deal until you realize that you lost to a segment whose main star was actually decapitated by a helicopter propeller. If that doesn't give you a moment of pause to rethink the schmaltz level, I don't think anything will.
TEMPLE OF DOOM is partially responsible (go GREMLINS it's your birthday!) for the dumb PG-13 rating that alerts parents to the fact that a movie's violence will be almost comparable to that seen on television everyday. Its heart-ripping-out scene is supposedly gory but c'mon, what do you think we're paying money to see here KATE CAPSHAW? [Aunt John sez: "Umm, I did!"] This is an action adventure that is supposed to be based on pre-P.C. serials and its goal should be to kick it up a notch wherever and whenever it can. It shouldn't have to concern itself with tip-toeing for the sake of Aunt Tilly (her again!). The slave children, the drinking of blood and the possession of Indy himself are brought up as examples of this film's imaginary harsh tone. Meanwhile, there's wall to wall slapstick humor, a ridiculous romantic IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT subplot and a relentless barrage of precocious quips from SHORTROUND bouncing off the cave walls as well. We're not exactly talking DER TODESKING here; I think you can handle it. I guess it's the kindertraumatic angle that ruffles the most feathers. It does seem a little extreme when one of the slave children begs Indy to kill him so that he might be spared further anguish, but stop anybody at their place of work and ask them how they're doing and see if you don't get a similar response.
Every element maligned in INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM is exactly what makes it great. Are we really so lame as to think singing chipmunks and dancing penguins are preferable entertainment for children than torture by whip, human sacrifice and voodoo mind control? What a sad state of affairs! Besides, just how family-friendly is Indy supposed to be? Wasn't much of the thrill of the first film derived from rotting corpses, hellish specters and yes, death by airplane propeller? With a new fourth installment in the can and ready to hit the multiplexes, it's far too late for those involved to hear my warning and respond by setting the compass back towards DOOM territory. I don't really care about that anyway, I'm going to assume the flick has been neutered beyond worth and hope for the best. The only thing that is important to me is that the truth is out there. If I disappear in the following weeks you'll know why. I can not live with myself if I don't speak out publicly, for all I know TEEN WITCH could be under fire next. So hear my words interwebs and may the guillotine fall where it may…THE TEMPLE OF DOOM does NOT suck more than THE LAST CRUSADE! Were you buying popcorn during the mine cart chase?
leave Indy alone
What can make earnest Indy swing his allegiance from his faux nuclear family (SHORT/WILLY) to a heathenistic cult of chanting shirtless sweaty men?… HUMAN BLOOD!
leave Indy alone
"Evil" Indy 500: from intellectually fetching to Uber-Dilf in 10 seconds!
leave Indy alone
The usually Mt. Rushmore-faced HARRISON FORD goes bananas in this movie. Y'all should get behind that shit!
leave Indy alone

TRAUMAFESSIONS :: Reader Kelly Ann on The Blob (1988)

Posted on By aunt john

 

blob
 

I guess I'm only confessing to this because, in hindsight, I realize it is tragically funny. I was seventeen and at boarding school, one lonely autumn weekend when the only two students not on home visits were myself, and my schoolmate Maggie, who was a horror movie connoisseur. I on the other hand, was more of THE SOUND OF MUSIC-type of gal. We decided to have movie night and as we trolled through the aisles at the video store, I picked up a dusty copy of THE BLOB, my thoughts being: "How scary can a big mass of goo be? All you do is outrun it!"     

I was a fool.

As we sat on the floor in the common room, munching popcorn and cider in our pajamas, we both sighed sadly when the two cutest guys in the movie were killed within the first 1/2 hour (no offense KEVIN DILLON). But with each passing scene my eyes grew wide and my blood ran cold. These people were sick! I huddled under a blanket with my eyes closed while Maggie cackled with a perverse glee. It felt like the longest 90 minutes of my life. The guy getting pulled into the sink and the little kid getting blobbed put me over the edge. After the credits rolled, my imagination was going 100 miles an hour and I dragged my pillow and blanket into Maggie's room and "slept" on her hard floor, but only after insisting that she place towels under the door crack less anything try and seep in.

Kinda sad that a senior in high school would have such a freak out about a movie, or maybe in a backwards way, it's a compliment to the writers. I still won't stick my hand down a sink!

 

UNKLE LANCIFER SEZ: Kelly Ann, you are preaching to the blob choir! We @ Kindertrauma are giant fans of 1988's THE BLOB! Thanks for the great traumafession and don't worry- you're never to old to get traumatized! 

Arbogast Day

Posted on By unkle lancifer

arbogasp!
We here at Kindertrauma admit to a stalker-like fascination with the enigma wrapped in a riddle, bound with an elastic question mark and sealed with a "what-now?" known as Arbogast. His no-holds barred, unfiltered musings on the world of cinema has your Unkle Lancifer imagining the man of mystery looking like CHANNING TATUM yet having the mind of STEVEN HAWKINGS. On the other hand, Aunt John spends a lot of time (in the bathroom) fantasizing that he looks like STEVEN HAWKINGS, but with the mind of CHANNING TATUM. To each his own. Anyway, our love for Arbogast was tested the day he tagged us for an Internet parlor game that, to be kind, makes a Jenga tournament seem entertaining. Oh well, in the interest of not burning bridges with an evil mastermind who could crush us like bugs, we relented and grabbed the nearest book that was not a GERI JEWELL biography and did as we were told.
On page 123 of the NECRONOMICON, the 3 sentences after the fifth are as follows…

No grain, no tree, no plant grew. The ancient Ones were Masters of Spaces now unknown or forgotten, and all was CHAOS. MARDUK was chosen of the Elders to fight KUR and wrest power from the Great Sleeping Serpent who dwells beneath the Mountains of the Scorpion.

Hopefully we didn't just open a portal into hell.

One thing that Arb-y has been doing lately that is not annoying is waxing philosophic about "The ones they might have saved," characters in horror movies that for some unexplained reason you did not want to see die. Is there such a thing? Why it appears there is, and we thought since we were celebrating Arbogast Day (which always falls on the day after Mother's Day) that we would join in this discussion, so without further adieu, here are our picks for "The ones they might have saved"…
Aunt John sez:My favorite character in any horror movie is that little kid in the sleeping bag in THE PROPHECY. I really don't like what happened to him and think he should have been spared this indignity:
Unkle Lancifer sez:Anne Ramsey's Elvira Parker was a fascinating character that I was looking forward to catching up with in the inevitable sequels to WES CRAVEN's tour de force seething indictment against technology DEADLY FRIEND. Those dreams were dashed when this occurred…
deadly friend
P.S.: In non Arbogast Day news, your Unkle Lancifer and Aunt John are interviewed over at one of our favorite sites (besides Arbogast's) DVD PANACHE. The interview was taken long before Arbo-gate '08, so you will find us in good spirits looking forward to a year free from being "tagged!"

TRAUMAFESSIONS :: The Moms of Kindertrauma

Posted on By aunt john

TRAUMA-MOMMA WEEK concludes today with two very special Traumafessions from your Unkle Lancifer's and Aunt John's very own mothers.
Aunt John's Mom on THE WIZARD OF OZ:

As a little girl, I didn't go see horror pictures. I was NEVER into that stuff, and I don't like them now. Your Grandfather used to take me to see the ones with ESTHER WILLIAMS swimming or MGM musicals on Saturday afternoons. I remember causing a scene at THE BELLS OF ST. MARY'S when I was four and had to be taken out of the theater for crying, but I really don't remember what upset me. That was the movie about the nuns with INGRID BERGMAN and BING CROSBY, so you tell me what was so scary. I do remember going to see the WIZARD OF OZ with my Mother when I was seven or eight, so it was 1947 or 1948, though that came out in '39. I was sitting on the aisle seat, and when those flying monkeys came on the screen I put my head down. I did not like them one bit. Out of the corner of my eye, in the darkness, I saw a little boy tearing up the aisle screaming in terror being chased by his older sister. I recognized her as a classmate, so I took off after her and we got a hold of her brother in the lobby. My Mother brought them back in the theater and I ended up sharing my seat with my school friend. Her little brother ended up falling asleep in my Mother's arms.

Unkle Lancifer's Mom on FRANKENSTEIN & PALS:

Scary movies in my childhood consisted of THE WEREWOLF, FRANKENSTEIN, and COUNT DRACULA. One Saturday back in the late ‘40s, the movie theater in my hometown had a matinée of movies with all of the scariest monsters. A group of friends decided we wanted to go and see the monsters. They promised us a great scare. We were all given tickets with numbers as we paid our admission, which at that time was 25 cents. We all sat down to enjoy the movie with our 10-cent popcorn and drink. After the first movie a man came out on the stage and told us he had a great surprise for us. He then started to call out numbers and asked all those holding these numbers to come up on the stage. I had one of the numbers called and one of my friends also held one. So off to the stage we go, not having any idea of what was in store for us. The house lights dim and the music starts playing. Our backs are to stage right and stage left. All of a sudden the audience starts screaming at the top of their lungs. As we turn around, we are facing all our fears: FRANKENSTEIN, THE WEREWOLF and COUNT DRACULA. As we are screaming they are walking closer and closer. Finally they are standing right next to us and the house lights go up, and they start talking and laughing with us about how great it was to entertain us.

Unkle Lancifer & Aunt John sez: We'd like to thank both of our Moms for the stellar MOMMA-FESSIONS, and send a special thanks to all our readers for their great comments and suggestions this week. Happy Mother's Day to all y'all mothers!

Official TRAUMA-MOMMA :: Dolores Claiborne

Posted on By unkle lancifer

 

In the midst of making our lists of the worst and best mothers in horror (and non-horror) one name kept floating about with nowhere to land, Dolores Claiborne (KATHY BATES). She didn't belong with the bad mothers because at the end of the day, her actions were not evil or selfish in anyway, but she didn't belong with the "nice" mommies either because well, she's Dolores Claiborne, a cantankerous old woman who, by her own admission, is "half past give a shit." It was all quite the dilemma until I watched the movie again and realized that Delores needed to be where she would naturally feel the most comfortable…alone. Is DOLORES CLAIBORNE even a horror film? We are talking STEPHEN KING here if that means anything. Let's just chalk it up as a gothic ghost story because Dolores and her daughter Selena (JENNIFER JASON LEIGH) are truly haunted. They are haunted by a past that includes a severely abusive husband and father and, as BONNIE TYLER might say, a total eclipse of the heart.
As anyone who has seen MISERY knows, KATHY BATES is an imposing force of nature on screen, yet the baggage she brings from that previous portrayal of a STEPHEN KING character is best dropped at the door. This isn't a sideshow and if you bought your ticket in hopes of seeing the neighborhood witch foam at the mouth, you're sure to walk home sad and dejected, kicking tin cans. Sure, good old Annie Wilkes has her charms but as far as depth goes, Dolores makes her look like a paper cut out doll. Dolores may drink from a bottle of scotch clearly marked BLACK & WHITE, but morality here is presented as anything but. Could she have made better decisions in her life? Sure, but that just includes her in a club called "human." Dolores doesn't enjoy what she has to do, but just like her elaborate maid duties for the persnickety Vera Donavan (JUDY PARFITT), she rolls up her shirt sleeves and plows ahead. Murder may not be a very popular(or legal)choice for solving a problem, but worrying about public perception is a luxury Dolores can't afford.
More fascinating then her relationship with the daughter that never bothered to look beyond Dolores' acerbic exterior, is the one she shares with her employer Vera, who spurs on Dolores' deed. Together, with conspiratorial glances, they share an acknowledgment of a male-dominated world and decide that in order to survive, it is sometimes necessary to draw outside the lines (read kill). Before the film's end, Dolores does reveal all to her daughter who rightfully admits to not knowing how she feels about her mother's actions. Serena does state though, that she understands that these actions were done for her. Is Dolores a kind of feminist hero? She herself would balk at such an idea. Her kind of unsung power is the type that we trample over everyday. She does not fulfill our image of what "strength" is. She doesn't wear the right clothes or have the right haircut or weigh the right amount either. Her victories are not worn on her sleeve or used to advance her "up the ladder." Everything she does is for her daughter, to keep her "safe and sound" and if that sacrifice is not properly recognized, then that just includes her in a club called "Mother" She is a worker with worker's hands worn and cracking from the cold, living in a house that someone who does not know her story painted the word "BITCH" on. She'd paint over that word, but she's learned that sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to. She's also learned that an "accident" can be an unhappy woman's best friend. So, to Dolores Claiborne we say, "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!" Your category bashing ways makes you perhaps the best Mother of them all and trust me, there's no question that you could kick JOBETH WILLIAMS' ass in hand-to-hand combat. BETSY PALMER, now that's another story.
     

TRAUMA-MOMMAS :: Top Nice Mommies of Horror

Posted on By unkle lancifer

The world of horror is truly overflowing with nasty examples of motherhood. It's important to remember this time of year that upstanding, nurturing mothers are depicted in horror films as well. This next assemblage of horror mommies celebrates the nice ones. When these TRAUMA-MOMMAS pull out a butcher knife, it's to cut the crust off your PB&J, not slice your throat!
10. (tie) Who could choose between these two small screen mommies with big-sized hearts? Both KIM HUNTER of BAD RONALD and JOCELYN BRANDO of DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW will do anything to protect their misunderstood boys from being ravaged by an uncaring world. Neither was particularly successful but on Mother's Day especially, it's important to remember that it's the thought that counts.
9. Although she's got some real questionable taste in men, single mom Lucy Emerson DIANE WIEST in THE LOST BOYS is every kid's dream; a super-lenient, life-size Monchhichi with an affinity for pastel knitwear.
8. Tracking down your lost child in a crowded mall or shopping center is an anguish most moms can identify with. Now imagine being Rose Da Silva (RADHA MITCHELL) and going through the same plight in the nightmare town known as SILENT HILL. What's the Aussie word for cojones?
7. We admit to having a soft spot for blissfully unaware and chronically naive Karen Barclay (7TH HEAVEN-bound CATHERINE HICKS) in CHILD'S PLAY. Not only is she slow to get on the CHUCKY wagon, We think it's sweet the way she archaically refers to the skanky homeless bum who tries to rape her as a "peddler"!
6. Wendy Torrence (SHELLY DUVALL) may seem a bit ineffectual at times, but give her a break; she's got a lot on her plate. Dad's a psycho and there's an unexplained plushy fetishist invasion to contend with. Extra points awarded for being a human ALICE NEEL painting.
5. Is there any mom cooler than disc jockey Stevie Wayne (ADRIENNE BARBEAU)? She lets you stay out late listening to JOHN HOUSMAN tell ghost stories and she lets you have STOMACH PONDERS! She'd rate even higher if she didn't choose the safety of the community at large over that of her son. She should have known Mrs. Kobritz (REGINA WALDON) would drop the ball.
4. As any mother can tell you, punishing your child can be difficult, perhaps even more so when your daughter is a pig-tailed psychopath. THE BAD SEED's Christine Penmark (NANCY KELLY) leaves it up to Mother Nature to deliver a much-deserved beat down to daughter Rhoda (PATTY McCORMACK).
3. THE EXORCIST's Chris MacNeil (ELLEN BURSTYN) may be a glamorous movie star that appears in all the rags of her day, but her love for her daughter Regan (LINDA BLAIR) is no act. Where most A-listers are quick to push their child's slightest nosebleed on the nearest nanny, Chris stands by her daughter through thick and thin pea soup.
2. Donna Trenton's (DEE WALLACE) illicit affair may not make her the perfect wife, but that does not put a dampening on her mothering skills. With shear force of will she is somehow able to shred the original ending of STEPHEN KING's CUJO and breath life back into her near dead son. Some would lay thanks on the scriptwriter or director or even a wimpy studio, but we know it's all in a day's work for DEE.
1. JOBETH WILLIAMS as Diane Freeling in POLTERGEIST puts the current image of a high functioning soccer mom to shame. She doesn't need MARTHA STEWART to tell her how to transform a cigar box into a canary coffin and she knows media god OPRAH is the last person to seek advice from about how to rescue a child trapped in a T.V. set. RACHEL RAY can kiss her ass, Diane is ordering a pizza and KELLY RIPA would look like a scraggly bleached flag pole if she tried to pull off Diane's football jersey and skimpy undies ensemble. How does Diane do it? What makes her tick like a Swiss watch and never loose her cool? Maybe it's something she's smoking….
In Case You Missed Them:

TRAUMA-MOMMAS: Top Horrifying Moms From Non-Horror Movies

Posted on By unkle lancifer

TRAUMA-MOMMAS don't have to star in horror movies per say to inflict horror upon their friends, family and neighbors. This next list of bad mommies wreaked plenty of havoc and still found their respective DVD's shelved in the more respectable (read boring) aisles of the local video shop. Here's to spreading the misery into every genre!

10. "Only sober for about two hours a day," CASINO's Ginger McKenna (SHARON STONE) has no qualms with getting shit-faced and doing lines of blow in front of her young daughter Amy. And when Ginger can't find a babysitter so she can go down to the club to hang with Nicky (JOE PESCI), she's not above tying Amy to the bed ala LINDA BLAIR in THE EXORCIST.

9. Proving that you should never con a con, especially when that con is your mom, THE GRIFTERS Lilly Dillon (ANJELICA HUSTON) chooses money over her son Roy (JOHN CUSAK). After murdering his girlfriend (ANNETTE BENNING), and torching the body, Lilly not only robs Roy, but also shows her son the business end of her suitcase and a broken drinking glass.

8. Momma Sharon (MIMI ROGERS) has her heart in the right place and, for the most part, is a lovingly attentive parent in THE RAPTURE, but new mommies take note: Shooting a bullet into your daughter's head to get her on the express lane into heaven to avoid a rumored upcoming apocalypse? That's a parenting blunder you just don't recover from.

7. Who needs to resort to physical violence when you can tear your children to shreds with words? No one in THE ANNIVERSARY is safe from the deliciously hateful vile that spews forth from the mouth of the one-eyed Mrs. Taggert (BETTE DAVIS).
6. What well of darkness did a 36-year-old ANGELA LANSBURY tap to so effectively convince as a cold calculating mother in THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE? You try playing the part of a mother to an actor (LAURENCE HARVEY) who is only three years your junior and see if you don't get a little steely glint in your eye!

5. Who says you can't fit a square peg into a round hole? That's what hammers are for! Lillian Farmer (KIM STANLEY) sorta digs the perks and swag her now famous daughter FRANCES is receiving. When nonconformist Frances decides to step out of the limelight, Mom decides she MUST be crazy! Electro shock therapy, full-frontal lobotomies, asylum gang rape and ice baths ensue… thanks mom!

4. Baltimore housewife Beverly Sutphin (KATHLEEN TURNER) loves her family and excels at the domestic arts. She's also a pro at making obscene phone calls, committing restroom murders, and skillfully defending herself in a court of law in SERIAL MOM. Just don't let her catch you wearing white after Labor Day!

3. In WILD AT HEART, old-school cougar Marietta Fortune (DIANE LADD) is a mother with boundary issues. When her daughter Lulu's beau Sailor (NICOLAS CAGE) rebuffs this hellcat's inappropriate advances, Marietta goes a little overboard with a tube of red lipstick and hires hit men to take out her future son-in-law.

2 . SYBIL Dorsett (SALLY FIELD) has multiple personalities, but none are as bad as the ONE personality her awful mother Hattie (MARTINE BARTLETT) is host to. Turning household objects like boot hooks and water bottles into instruments of torture, she transforms her family kitchen into the set of HOSTEL 3. Perhaps the most frightening tool at her command is her childlike, sing-song voice. Just listen to her belt out a couple lines of her favorite nonsensical song "Lettuce Head" and you too will be retreating to a "happy place" deep, deep inside.

1. While we would never suggest that this is her first, or last, time at the bad mommy rodeo, FAYE DUNAWAY's career-ending turn as JOAN CRAWFORD in MOMMIE DEAREST taught us that one need not wear a hockey mask to strike fear in the hearts of small children. A Kabuki-like application of cold cream will do just fine.

In Case You Missed Them: The Most Horrifying Horror Movie Moms & More Horrifying Movie Moms.

TRAUMA-MOMMAS :: More Horrifying Movie Moms

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Not every TRAUMA-MOMMA can fit into our top ten picks; there's just not enough room. These ten runners up may be a little less flashy or a little less well known, but they are by no means less traumatizing. In fact, some of these nasty ladies give their more famous counterparts a real run for their money. Who knows, maybe the future will have one of these dastardly dames taking top honors!

20. VIVECA LINDFORS of CREEPSHOW plays a creepy greedy mom with three daughters in A BELL FROM HELL who sends her nephew to the looney bin (or so he thinks) to collect his inheritance. Is she really evil? Who cares! It's VIVECA LINDFORS and she's scary as hell.

19. WENDIE ROBIE as "Mom" in THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS lost a few points due to the fact that she's not actually anybody's mom and has kidnapping to thank for her offspring. In any case, she does run a tight ship and her twisted delivery of the line calling for "Total spring cleaning" cinches the deal.

18. Remember how the real nightmare in NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: THE DREAM WARRIORS was Kristen Parker's (PATRICIA ARQUETTE) nag of a mom Elaine (BROOKE BUNDY)? Even a severed skull couldn't stop the swinging single from squealing scoldings!

17. With FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC you get two depraved banshees for the price of one. VICTORIA TENNANT and LOUISE FLETCHER duel it out to see who can be the most hands-off guardian imaginable and turn parental negligence into an art form.

16. At first glance WILLARD's (ski slope nosed CRISPIN GLOVER) mom Henrietta (JACKIE BUROUGHS) is more pitiable than menacing, but soon you realize her whiny wails hit harder than any mallet. Hanging outside the bathroom Willard occupies and demanding to know what exactly is going on inside shoots her way up the list!

15. BLANCHE BAKER's turn as Ruth Chandler in THE GIRL NEXT DOOR is the newest mommy on our list, but trust us she deserves her position. This bitch is so ice cold that if you lick your television screen while she's on it, your tongue will stick!

14. After spending fifteen years in a funny farm being cured of her cannibalistic ways, FRIGHTMARE's Dorothy Yates (SHEILA KEITH) is released to rejoin polite, mostly non-cannibalistic society. Old habits (and some victims) die hard. Here's one momma who ditches gloss for gritty believability.

13. Don't mess with RUTH ROMAN in THE BABY! She makes MA BARKER look like BOB BARKER. She'll do anything to protect her full grown "baby," (decidedly adult DAVID MOONEY) from dirty outside influences, in what has to be the most deranged cinematic offering from the seventies. (Now, that's saying something!)

12. Is there anyone meaner than Rosemary Bower (CAROLYN PURDY GORDON) in DOLLS? Step-mommys already have a bad name thanks to Disney propaganda, and she has the nerve to throw her step-kid Jody's (CARRIE LORRAINE) beloved teddy bear (named "Teddy" natch) into the forest to be lost forever? Sleep well knowing all bears know their way around the woods and that Rosemary Bower is indeed taken down to size!

11. Stand back and gawk at the amazing maternal ferocity and take no prisoners fearlessness of SUSAN TYRRELL in NIGHT WARNING a.k.a. BUTCHER, BAKER NIGHTMARE MAKER! Lame title issues and a questionable "video nasty" ban may have kept this offbeat gem from reaching some viewers but a forthcoming long overdue DVD release is sure to change that. The truth is, SUSAN TYRRELL delivers what may very well be the greatest unheralded horror performance of the last 30 years or so and it's high time everyone knew about it. DE NIRO eat your heart out!
In Case You Missed Them: The 10 Most Horrifying Movie Moms & The 10 Most Horrifying Moms From Non-Horror Movies.