kindertrauma

Month: December 2009

Kindertrauma Funhouse :: Black Christmas Scramble

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Oh No! Billy the beloved homicidal maniac from BLACK CHRISTMAS has finally been arrested! What's worse is that his capture occurred on the very same day that Canada decided to reinstate the death penalty! Billy's only chance to avoid death by Canadian electric chair is to plead insanity but to do that, he's going to have to recall the events of BLACK CHRISTMAS to a court appointed Canadian psychiatrist!

Can you help Billy remember the correct order of events? I'll get you started by revealing that 1=C (the title card) but what about the next 10? C'mon kids, Billy's counting on you!

NOTE: If you could give a crap about Billy's fate leave a guess or comment of some sort anyway because Aunt John still has a couple more awesome Kindertrauma logo t-shirts (sizes M, L, or XL; winner's choice!) to give away and anybody can win.. just a leave comment and you are in it to win it!

Carriers

Posted on By unkle lancifer

One shouldn't be too surprised that ALEX & DAVID PASTOR's melancholy road movie CARRIERS didn't exactly become a theatrical sensation during its very limited run a few months back. Unlike star CHRIS PINE's other summer vehicle STAR TREK, the apocalyptic CARRIERS hardly offers itself to be promoted on collect them all Burger King glasses. Although it does take a moment to partake in the mandatory end of the world "hooray, we can do anything we want!" frolic scene (our survivors have fun smashing windows by hitting golf balls into them) CARRIERS is more interested in the down side of the end of the world. It's a reverse ZOMBIELAND with zero zombies.

Speaking of Burger King I'm the type who will throw my Whopper in the trash if someone sneezes within a 50 foot radius of it so the basic fear of contagion that drives CARRIERS is not wasted on me. There are some tense squirmy moments for all you fellow hypochondriacs out there, but delivering jolty shocks of paranoia is a side dish to the real meat and potatoes served. Don't hold your breath for the usual end of the world fetishized destruction either, the brothers PASTOR persuasively relay the idea that human relationships are far more fascinating than explosions. This is a movie that has some serious respect for its characters.

PIPER PERABO is a long way from COYOTE UGLY, her bond with PINE, rife with knowing jabs of mutual understanding convinces the viewer of its authenticity early on. They are two of four survivors we get to know intimately. (CHRISTOPHER MELONI tags along for a while too, as a heartbreakingly distraught father.) These are real people who sometimes come off as far less than heroic, but the situations that they find themselves in will have you wondering if doing the "right" thing is always the smart thing. This is a world where human compassion may mean death and where betraying those close to you may be your only means of survival. Ultimately though, comprehension of the high stakes involved does little to weaken the wretchedness of watching once allies abandoned when the virus tags them "it."

With its PG-13 rating and reluctance to beat its chest, CARRIERS could be mistaken for a timid film but truly, it's atypically aggressive when it comes to avoiding moral shortcuts. Rather than paint a false universe where love is the be-all cure-all, it repeatedly confronts the moment in time where one must turn their back on others in order to move forward. Who needs fireworks, Burger King glasses or even a successful theatrical run? CARRIERS proves that it's sometimes more absorbing to watch the world end with a whimper rather than a bang.

Traumafessions :: Reader Ben H. on Don't Go to Sleep

Posted on By aunt john

Wow, your site is awesome!

It makes me think of this T.V. movie that I saw as a kid. Oh, it gave me such chills and stuck with me at night. I'm not even sure the whole thing was scary, but here are the specific scary/disturbing/traumatic details I remember.

I think DENNIS WEAVER was the father. There were two daughters and the family was driving in the car. One girl tied the other girl's shoelaces to the emergency brake or something while she was asleep, then the car crashed and caught on fire.

Because the girl was young and her shoelaces were tied tight she couldn't escape and she burned to death. I'm pretty sure the rest of the movie was creepy, too.

Have you talked about this movie on your site?

Ben

UNK SEZ: Ben, you are undoubtedly speaking of one of the best television films of all time, 1982's DON'T GO TO SLEEP! It starred VALERIE HARPER, RUTH GORDON, OLIVER ROBINS (of POLTERGEIST fame) and as you mentioned, DENNIS WEAVER. Many people seem to have been effected by this movie, particularly its over the top creepy final moments. DON'T GO TO SLEEP is not currently available on DVD but considering the recent releases of other notorious television horror flicks, it may just be a matter of time until it is (fingers crossed).

Traumafessions :: Reader Riccardo on The Craft

Posted on By aunt john

Here's another one. The movie THE CRAFT by ANDREW FLEMING (1996) is a very good one, but for me one scene in particular stands out; the one with the "lose-your-hair curse" that Sarah sends to Laura. It always gave me the creeps whenin the pool she's starting losing hair… aarghhh!

Bye,

Riccardo

Traumafessions :: Reader Thunderknight on Mr. Mouth & Mostly Ghostly

Posted on By aunt john

Hi Kindertrauma-maniacs, I wanted to bring up a game that haunted me as a child.

Two actually.

One was the ever so scary Mr. Mouth game…a big yellow head with a flip top (Black Dahlia) mouth that you have to flip coins (I think) into. And those goofy eyes staring at you, geez.

The other game was Mostly Ghostly, a skeleton building game with a spinner made out of what else…skeletal arms I think. With each spin, you can choose another bone appendage to build your spooky skeleton.

Does anyone else remember these games…nightmares!

Your friend and fellow fiend,

Thunderknight

Traumafessions :: Reader Stephen P. on a Satanic Sesame Street "Surprise"

Posted on By aunt john

I have searched for this for years, and have found nothing…but I remember in great detail a song on SESAME STREET (this would have been 1980 or before) called "Surprise!" It involved various scenes and cast members from the show doing silly things that involved an element of surprise. Then at some point in the song, someone knocks on Oscar's trashcan and Maria pops up in a red devil suit and with a deep scary voice proclaims, "Oscar isn't here!!"

This scared the piss out of me as a kid and I would like to see if it still does, but I find absolutely no reference to this scene and no one who remembers it…I know I am sane, but I would love to see this again or at least hear from someone who remembers it.

Thanks,

Stephen

UNK SEZ: No luck finding that "Maria as Satan" clip Stephen, but I did find this old clip of Oscar which reveals him to be a natural ginger! He's even singing my theme song "I love trash!"

Traumafessions :: Reader Marc Hendriks on Michael Jackson's "Thriller"

Posted on By aunt john

Dear Kindertrauma team,

My name is Marc Hendriks and I'm the author of the anthology Monstruos. This is my traumafession:

Now, for the first time, I am bringing to you the full story of what happened on that fateful day in 1985, when I was eight years old. My friends, I cannot keep this a secret any longer.

Back in the swinging eighties, I was known by peers and relatives alike as a spineless momma's boy. Eager to rid myself of that stigma and to be thenceforth known as a tough guy, I boldly stepped into my BFFW's (Best Friend For a While) bedroom and demanded to be shown his copy of a magazine devoted to MICHAEL JACKSON's Thriller video. My buddy reluctantly obliged, warning me that the pictures in the magazine might prove too much for me. Obstreperously waiving his concerns, I grabbed the magazine from his hands, opened it at a random page, and was confronted with a photo of MICHAEL JACKSON transforming into the werecat.

All color drained from my face and I tossed the magazine out of the window. Those teeth, those yellow eyes…it was too much for me, all right. Way, way too much. Gone were the thoughts of wanting to be a tough guy, born to be bad. I bolted for the door, screaming for my mom as fresh salty tears trickled down my cheeks.

My bemused friend not only had to physically support me on my way home, but also endure repeated cries of "I'm hallucinating! I'm seeing the JACKSON werecat behind that tree/that lamppost/that car!"

When my mom answered the door for us, her first reaction to the sorry state I was in consisted of an indignant "Have you been giving my son alcohol?!"

I let my friend take care of the explaining, ran up the stairs and hid under my bed; surely, the JACKSON werecat wouldn't be able to get me there.

The next day at school, I learned that my friend's pinky swear to keep things under wraps had been superseded by the enormous LOL-potential of my mental undoing. Every kid who owned a copy of the Thriller magazine brought it to school after lunch break, waving it in my face in the hope I'd turn on the sprinklers again. I didn't, for the harmless picture couldn't match the sheer terror of the JACKSON werecat I'd encountered in my nightmares the night before.

Kind regards,

Marc Hendriks