kindertrauma

Year: 2010

Name That Trauma :: Reader Saraeg on a Salem Surname Spelled Backwards

Posted on By aunt john

Dear kindertrauma,

Here is another old movie that I hope someone will recognize. There is a very pretty young lady (Miss Nywles) looking for her kin (I think, not sure) and she comes to an old house where she meets up with older witch types who tell her she is a descendant of the Selwyn family (the family name is turned around.) That is as much as I remember. The name has always stuck to my memories, so I know that part is true. I always got a chill watching the witches cast their spell with live pretty ladies.

Thanks,

saraeg

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Saraeg, the movie you are thinking of is 1960s THE CITY OF THE DEAD (a.k.a. HORROR HOTEL), which stars PATRICIA JESSEL as Elizabeth Selwyn, a witch burned at the stake in the 17th century who later returns as an inn keeper operating under the alias Mrs. Newless (Selwyn spoken backwards).

Speaking of backwards surnames, this Name That Trauma made me think of SUPER FRIENDS foil Mr. Mxyzptlk:

Name That Trauma :: Reader Jes K. on an Offscreen Cat Splat

Posted on By aunt john

I just found your site and OMG, thank goodness! Maybe someone can help me Name That Trauma!

When I was little, I watched some show…it seems like it was a made-for-T.V. joint, but I don't know for sure. All I remember is that near the end, some bully kids walked up to the main character's cat and said, "TJ, is this your cat?" and then threw it into the street into the path of oncoming traffic! It didn't show the cat being hit or anything, it was all off screen like the shooting of BAMBI's mother. But I've carried that scene with me for YEARS and I can't figure out what show or movie it came from! PLEASE help!

Love the site, and thanks in advance!

Jes K.


UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Special thanks to kingmoody for being the first to come forward with J.T.

House aka Hausu (1977)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I took a trip away from Kindertrauma Castle last weekend and landed in New York. Cops stood on every corner but I also witnessed DEBBIE HARRY on a stroll. Last time I was in this strange city it was not quite as windy and I saw JEFF GOLDBLUM sneeze and JENNIFER JASON LEIGH taking in ALICE NEEL. In other words, every time I go to New York I see someone who has starred in a DAVID CRONENBERG movie. What does it mean? My theory is that New York does not really exist. It is only a dream that I have every time I step onto a Peter Pan bus. The bus driver is my hypnotist. How else can you explain ten dollar beers?

One nice thing about New York is that, unlike post-apocalyptic Philadelphia, they have decent movie theaters. Another plus is that you are less likely to be shot for stepping on somebody's toe and you don't always have to sit next to a crying baby on a cell phone. It's as if the people who go to the movies in New York actually have a desire to watch the film they've paid to see. I think it's kind of fun to go to the movies when it's not the most aggravating experience imaginable and I don't mind spending a few extra dollars on tickets if it means that when I leave the theater my will to live is not in shreds.

Being in New York was my big chance to see THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE, a much ballyhooed movie about a mad German who wants to sew together a butt-to-mouth choo-choo train out of understandably reluctant victims. But wait, the pal I'm visiting tells me of another film playing in the same theater called HOUSE a.k.a. HAUSU (1977) and shows me this trailer on his laptop…

HUMAN CENTI-WHO? Contrary to what you may have read on the bathroom stall, when it comes to choosing between forced butt munching and portraits of Persians who spew blood, I'll always pick the later. The choice was clear I had to see HOUSE; it had a floating decapitated head in it! I know I'm not usually the biggest fan of J-horror but from what I could tell from the trailer this movie had nothing to do with haunted hand-held technology. I could catch up with that crazy German guy later; after the dour NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET remake it was high time your rapidly aging Unk had some G.D. fun. You remember fun, it's that frothy feeling that everything doesn't suck.

One thing is for sure, I would have had a much easier time explaining the CENTIPEDE movie to you. HOUSE is about as unexplainable as they come. Director NOBUHIKO OBAYOSHI tapped his young daughter's head for the film's bonkers content and boy did he find a wellspring. HOUSE has the same type of exuberant, logic-defying power as a kid's drawing. If DARIO ARGENTO took ten tabs of acid and filmed an episode of JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS starring SHONEN KIFE and sporting a soundtrack by ELO it would come out only half as insane as this. HOUSE makes a kaleidoscope look like a monocle. It funnels its giddy cartoon dogma directly into your eyeballs. I promise you, it's pretty much like playing "light as a feather, stiff as a board" with a very high HELLO KITTY. I can't tell you it's scary though, the scariest part of this movie is having to return to the real world when it's done.

In HOUSE you'll meet a teen girl named Gorgeous and her friends Prof (the smart one with glasses), Kung-fu (Sporty Spice), Sweet (the sweet one), Melody (musically inclined) and Mac (the girl who can't stop eating.) The sassy lasses take a super fake train ride under cotton candy clouds to Gorgeous' mysterious Aunt's house. Following them wherever they go is Blanche, a white Persian cat who apparently bought her own train ticket and steals every scene she's in. The Aunt is some kind of crazy witch with a hidden agenda and the house is as alive as the cabin in EVIL DEAD 2.

There is so much going on that it's nearly overwhelming and I'm sure that one viewing will never be enough for most. This is the type of perfect cult movie that you should have on hand to subject your friends to. It's strange and twisted enough to be embraced by horror fans and goofy and weird enough for anybody sick of the usual. Even if my entire trip to New York was not a hallucination, I'll never be completely convinced that my viewing of HOUSE was real. If movies are drugs, this is a potent one and I may never look at my cat the same way again.

NOTE: HOUSE will be released on DVD by Criterion in September and it looks like THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE is currently on IFC pay-per- view (at least here.) Looks like I made the right decision for sure, I can have my possessed cat and eat my HUMAN CENTIPEDE too.

Name That Trauma :: Reader CattyClair on a Brutal Bus Ride

Posted on By aunt john

Hi there,

I was watching T.V. really late one night and this gruesome movie was on. It was so scary; I couldn't even finish watching it. Now I am curious about it but have no clue what it was called. What I can remember about it was this crazy guy running around, maybe running from someone or something, and everywhere he went or ended up at, he brutally killed whomever he encountered.

I think there was a motel clerk late at night and some lady he may have came across and scared her and she got onto a empty bus (she thought) trying to escape this psycho only to realize he was hiding on it. I think she even drove it down the road a bit thinking she had gotten away and here he comes from the back of the bus. She was terrified as was I and I changed the channel.

It seems to me it was from the late ‘70s or ‘80s. It was really scary. Kind of reminded me of THE HITCHER but worse. Any clue what this movie was called? Thanks.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Rotting Rushton on the Mauling of Christopher Robin

Posted on By aunt john

Hello all you Kindertraumians!!

As usual I must thank Unkle Lancifer and company for bringing me such delight as I lovingly surf the Kindertrauma site on a daily basis. And to all the readers/surfers who have helped so many citizens out with their incredible responses. I'm still in debt to those who helped me with my last question in regard to the Choking Dog story.

Now, I have no idea if anyone else witnessed what I am about to regurgitate, but I'm going to give it a shot:

One evening, possibly in the mid-nineties or later my brother and I were watching T.V. and there were these animated shorts playing. At one point there was an animated Christopher Robin walking around in the woods flamboyantly saying, "Pooh Bear, oh Pooh Bear? Where are you bear?"

Moments later he pops around a series of trees and continues calling to Pooh and eventually approaches this one specific tree that has a hole in it and he yells into the hole, "Pooh Bear? You silly ole bear" and out of nowhere this giant Grizzly type bear jumps out of the hole and mauls the poor chap; blood goes everywhere while a very destroyed Christopher Robin screams endlessly.

My brother and I just sat there with our mouths open and completely traumatized since Winnie the Pooh was one of our favorites growing up. We discussed it the other day and ended up laughing more than anything at how absurd the entire ordeal was.

Now, I'm not entirely sure if all of this is 100% correct but I do remember it being on television and everyone that I have talked to has said they've never heard of such a thing existing. I would love to find a clip of it though. Does anyone recall ever seeing/hearing about this animated short? If so, how could I find it?

Happy Arbogast Day!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Another year, another Arbogast Day. For those of you who have not been reading kindertrauma since it's inception way back in 1997, every year on the day after Mother's Day we celebrate our ongoing obsession with fellow blogger Arbogast of ARBOGAST ON FILM. We do that by participating in his "The One I Might Have Saved" blog-a-thon that asks bloggers to write an ode for a film character whose death they'd stop if they could.

I personally love the concept behind "The One I Might Have Saved" because I love movie characters. In fact, I may even like movie characters better than "real" people (movie characters never smell and you can mute them.) Arbogast's idea presents a great opportunity to talk about an aspect of cinema that should be discussed more often; how we connect to people through film on a personal level. Anyway, here's my pick for 2010…

LANCE HENRIKSEN "Bishop" ALIENS (1986)

I can't tell you the deep devastation I felt at the moment I first witnessed Bishop's truly shocking death in JAMES CAMERON's ALIENS. (Although his head would go on to do a cameo in ALIEN 3, that does little to weaken the blow.) Here was a character that I grew to love and feel great empathy for over the course of the film. ALIENS is a movie that's difficult to take in lightly; it's an expansive journey that registers as a full experience. By the time the credits roll you have spent some serious quality time with its characters and the investment truly pays off. In the case of Bishop, our perceptions of him change over of the course of the adventure (along with Ripley's.) It's important to note though that Bishop himself does not transform, it's the audiences understanding of him which is altered.

Ripley (SIGOURNEY WEAVER) has proven herself a highly tuned moral compass in the first ALIEN. We trust her without pause to point out the bullshit and lead the way. Because of her negative experience with an android in the first film she takes a clear dislike of Bishop as soon as she learns about that part of his identity. The viewer is meant to hold him with suspicion as well, but we get an early glimpse at his mettle when he declares he prefers to be called the more self-respectful "artificial person" rather than a "synthetic." Our hero Ripley may be prejudiced in the truest sense of word but give her a break, not every bigot has a 57 year coma for an excuse and she does convert her views based on the information she witnesses herself.

We are shown the worst of humanity in the form of the weasely, backstabbing opportunist Carter Burke (PAUL REISER). Bishop, who really does come off as a Zen-like holy man, is shown as his direct opposite. Bishop may be "programmed" to assist and care for humans but he's also programmed for self-preservation. When mid way through the film he volunteers for a mission he's unlikely to survive, there's no question that it's above the call of duty. Not to take anything away from the mostly courageous Marines that loose their lives battling the monster swarm, but as was proven in the first film, it takes more than firepower to survive in the ALIEN universe. Much like Ripley herself, Bishop is a cerebral entity first and an action figure second. He may not carry a weapon but he's smart enough to be in the right place at the right time and he ultimately saves the day.

Like the Replicants in RIDLEY SCOTT's BLADE RUNNER, Bishop forces you to contemplate what makes us human. Considering the behavior of the treacherous Burke we might even wonder if being "human" is anything to be proud of. There's a nobility to Bishop that raises him above those who would call him "false" just because he is different. His sudden evisceration by the Queen Alien, though horrific, is not without its almost crucifixion like beauty. His "otherness" is eventually shown to be an integral strength as even after being torn in half he is still capable of lending Ripley and Newt a life saving helping hand. ALIENS is a rare action movie where a character's actions actually mean something. Bishop allows us to see that being "human" may have less to do with how we are built and more to do with our behavior.

NOTE: At the end of the movie we are shown Bishop's remaining torso being put into sleep along side survivor Cpl. Hicks (MICHAEL BEIHN) so maybe I just wrote this whole thing about someone who didn't die at all. Oh well, he got torn in half for crying out loud, isn't that bad enough?

NOTE 2: Aunt John is at sleepaway camp and can't add his "The One I Might Have Saved" to this year's addition, but I can tell you whom he would have chosen anyway. He was very upset by Megan (GRETA GERWIG)'s death in THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL. He thought the movie really lost something when she died.

NOTE 3: Check out many more "The One I Might Have Saved" tributes at Arbogast's wonderful blog HERE and have a Happy Arbogast Day!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Kathryn on a Horrid Halloween Book

Posted on By aunt john

I have a "Name That Trauma" that has been driving me and my sister CRAZY.

When I was younger, in the early to mid-‘90s, my parents had a stack of Halloween books for us that they would take out when we were kids. One of these books was an extremely detailed illustrated book about a town of ghosts, monsters, vampires, etc. all the classic Halloween creatures. It was almost done in "Where's Waldo?" style with a cross-section of the houses in the town and tons of different things in each room.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't a kids' book although it was illustrated, because it was very gory and my parents never actually had looked on the inside, although it was rhyming. One of the pages I remember had a butcher shop that looked pretty innocent at first until you looked closer and it was human legs and arms, or a little old lady that had a giant monster hanging out in her attic. It was very cartoonish and humorous, although as an easily frightened kid it scared me into thinking there were real towns out there like that.

I've been looking all over the Internet, and everyone in my family vaguely remembers it but not the title, author, or anything else relevant about it.

Does anyone else recall this book?

Wes Craven's New Nightmare

Posted on By unkle lancifer

My heart will go on… even if it does suffer from post-Titanic disaster stress disorder thanks to the iceberg Platinum Dunes. Who would have ever thought that Freddy would one day get raped by more maniacs than his ma Amanda? I spent the week floating on an ice cube holding onto Freddy's gloved hand but he finally slipped away. I watched him sink, growing smaller and smaller, darker and darker until…pfft. What followed was a self destructive drunken rampage that if I remember correctly involved my robbing a hamburger joint with ROB LOWE while wearing a bunny mask and then beating the crap out of ALI LARTER for touching my baby, or was I just watching BAD INFLUENCE and OBSESSION back to back? I guess I'll never know. (They say you've bottomed out when you can't remember the night before.)

A wise Kindertrauma commenter suggested that I jump back on the red and green striped saddle again as soon as possible and that's exactly what I did. It turns out that your Aunt John had never seen WES CRAVEN'S NEW NIGHTMARE so I just had to correct that immediately. While watching the film I thought about what I had learned recently from my friends on Elm Street. Why not take the lessons that I gained from the original film and apply them to my current depressive dilemma? I'm not referring to the very tempting act of denial as utilized by the Elm Street parents; I'm talking about Nancy's final a-ha moment when she realized that she was feeding the beast.

So here it goes; NIGHTMARE REMAKE, I take back every bit of energy I ever gave you. You're nothing. You're shit.

Hey, it worked! It's silly to get all bent out of shape when I still have my box set of the originals an arm's length away. In truth, I should thank the remake for reminding me just how much I love them. What was I thinking looking for comfort outside my own DVD collection? The answer was here all the time. (Wow, aren't those the lyrics to "Don't cry for me Argentina?)

Now I'm not saying that WC'S NN is a masterwork or anything. It's silly in spots but it's entertaining as hell and if ideas were popcorn kernels the movie would be jiffy-pop. Aunt John even ended up loving it, which by the way, is not an everyday occurrence. I hate to "out" him on this but his attention span is so short that it was once mistaken for WALLACE SHAWN. (crickets chirp) No? No MY DINNER WITH ANDRE fans reading the blog today? O.K. lets move on because it's time for a love fest. Thanks again 2010 NIGHTMARE, you really did help to remind me of how much I adore the original NOES crew, all of whom shine in the seventh installment…

WES CRAVEN

What a clever and spiritual filmmaker. CRAVEN did more than create a highly effective scare movie with the original film. He created a character and a world that never existed before yet still felt as familiar as your own bad dreams. The sequels that the original spawned may not have been as satisfying, but CRAVEN constructed an open canvas that pushed other filmmakers and writers in creative ways that would not have been possible in any other series horror or otherwise.

I love how in NEW NIGHTMARE he pegs Freddy as a creature that has always existed and has appeared in many forms because that's how I have always felt about him. From the first moment I laid eyes on Krueger I recognized every childhood fear collected in one shadowy form. CRAVEN has created so many classics that it's not easy for NEW NIGHTMARE to rise to the top of the heap but there are few better examples of his ability to push the genre into new territory while still honoring the ancient art of storytelling.

JOHN SAXON

What a guy. Is it any wonder that the three N.O.E.S. movies that SAXON appears in are considered the best? In a series known for it's malleable, topsy-turvy environments, SAXON provides the perfect anchor of lucidity. In NEW NIGHTMARE he plays himself as a nurturing shoulder to lean on but observe as he starts to blend into his onscreen persona, a true pro at work. Yes, I recently included him on my "A-holes of Elm Street" list but really that was just because I wanted to look at his picture.

HEATHER LANGENCAMP

I think my respect for LANGENCAMP's contribution to the original films has grown the most thanks to recent events. I may have made some disparaging remarks about her acting in the past but I'm taking them all back. Maybe her delivery can be a bit awkward at times (sometimes awesomely so) but there's never any doubt about what she's feeling on screen. LANGENCAMP's Nancy Thompson is earthy and humble and fighting to realize her full potential. She's a warrior with a heart of a lamb.

Many of the series other entries delved into the discovery of personal power but it was HEATHER who provided the perfect prototype. Those big blue eyes, that girl-next-door charm, this gal had serious chutzpa and she never had to be showy or vain about her emerging strengths. As played by LANGENCAMP you simply HAVE to route for Nancy, just as you'd route for any exotic creature poised toward extinction.

NEW NIGHTMARE gives her character a chance to expand and share her power maternally (much like Ripley in ALIENS). One can still point out her acting quirks throughout but what's also prominent is her effortless charisma and unique accessibility. Put that up against the robots in the redo and just see who flinches first.

ROBERT ENGLUND

Mr. Irreplaceable. I'm sure there are many fine actors who could give the ol' fedora a good whirl but there's never going to be anybody who can approach what ROBERT ENGLUND has done throughout the series. Maybe some of the sequels got a bit too jokey but could anyone else have held your attention as he did? CRAVEN may have created an incredible character but ENGLUND fuckin' rode that baby like a bronco.

One of the fascinating aspects of NEW NIGHTMARE is that it's forward enough to encompass all aspects of the Freddy character. From his climbing out of the primordial ooze in Craven's head with fairy tale lore still clinging to his shoes to his campy, zeitgeist media infiltration. ENGLUND can play Freddy any way you throw at him and as is hinted at in this film, the line between the performer and the character is difficult to pin down. ENGLUND is married to Freddy and Freddy to him, their marriage may not be recognized in your country or state but it should be. It's a once in a lifetime thing when the stars align and the resulting merge is this sweet and symbiotic, don't question it, just bow before it's beauty.

WES CRAVEN'S NEW NIGHTMARE is a must for any fan or even non-fan of the NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET series. It gives you a rare bird's eye view of the creative process and it's aftermath while still operating as an authentic horror film. The idea of bringing Freddy back to his darker roots was obviously thought of before the remake was ever commissioned and trust me it was done a far sight better in 1994. More importantly, if you're like me and are still trying to scrape the residue of the recent incarnation off your shoe, it's the perfect cure. Maybe there's a purpose for idea-free, emotionless, parasitic films like 2010's A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET after all; they serve to remind you who your real friends are.