kindertrauma

Month: August 2011

Final Destination Funhouse!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

UNK SEZ: FINAL DESTINATION 5 opens today and thus we have an all FINAL DESTINATION Funhouse! Only eight images today, two from each of the previous four films. Can you identify them? By trying to do so you may win a free DVD called BIKINI GIRLS ON ICE (Trailer HERE)! That can't be bad can it? I have not seen BGOI yet but I do know that somebody somewhere likes it. Plus, like I said it's FREE! If you don't hear much from me today it's because I'm at the theater and I tend to sneak into other movies so I could be a while! Good luck Kiddies!

Blood Shack (1971)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I have not watched BLOOD SHACK since I was about 15 and the reason for that is because I have always regarded it as the worst film I had ever seen in my life. Remarkably, not even 2009's THE UNBORN could alter that opinion. The other night though while perusing free viewing opportunities on CRACKLE I noticed it there, staring at me like an orphaned injured kitten and I had to see it again. Could it really be as wretched as my brain recalled? After all, my brain usually doesn't know what it's talking about. Well, it turns out it is as bad as my brain said but not nearly as painful. I've either lowered my standards considerably or developed a sense of humor. It's a terrible movie no doubt, but watching it fully prepared for the awfulness makes a big difference. What once filled me with rage now elicits only sympathy. It may be the worst movie ever made but that doesn't mean it's the least entertaining.

BLOOD SHACK is hardly a movie. It's more like a swept together pile of footage. When it first snuck its way into my life, it was wearing a nifty VHS box that made it look like a current eighties slasher flick even though the old coot had been lingering about for more than a decade. Strangely, it seems less dated now than it did back then. For instance, the weird seventies wardrobes which were so alien to my then neon MTV eyes look like standard hipster-wear now. The overall dusty drab feel of the film has benefited with age too. Back then it just read as ratty but now that gritty dustbowl esthetic is pretty much au currant. I hate to admit it but I kind of now dig the near constant horizon line and the off-putting minimalism. Really, the sun flare happy playing field here is not so far off from THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. Of course that movie had an actual story to tell and didn't pad its running time with rodeo footage. Yes, rodeo footage.

So my problem with this film is no longer that it is scrap heap cheap and alarmingly barebones, my issue is with the fact that it is an unstructured blob of random pointlessness. It's pretty clear that there was no script involved and that the director allowed the actors to wing it and wing it poorly. One character wants to buy the shack and that's all he talks about, one character doesn't want to sell the shack and that's all she talks about and one character warns folks to stay away from the shack ad nauseam. The only break from that pattern is provided by a our wispy narrator who sounds like she is breaking out of an eleven-year coma and offers little worthwhile information, unless you felt the need to know that the pony's name at the rodeo was "Peanuts." Truth told Peanuts the pony is the lone convincing presence in the movie and I was happy to see that her or his name found its way into the end credits.(Peanuts' IMDb page HERE.)

The theoretical scares of BLOOD SHACK are provided by "The Chooper" an Indian spirit who protects the title shack with a sword and black pajamas. Chooper tends to yell as if he's stubbed his toe and is partial to flamboyant arm flailing daytime attacks. My horror starved teenage self found "The Chooper" to be unbearably lame but now I see he's pretty hilarious. In the same vein, the movie itself is not the whirlpool of depressive ineptness I once thought; it's actually somewhat lovably maladroit. It made me laugh out loud which is more than I can say for DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS.

BLOOD SHACK was directed by RAY DENNIS STECKLER who has acquired a cult following thanks to B-grade goofs like THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES (who stopped living and became mixed up zombies) but even his most devoted followers can be forgiven for drawing a line in the sand against Chooper's lackadaisical exploits. As lousy as this movie is though, I think STECKLER should be given some credit for stumbling early upon a few elements that would later prove to be highly effective in future better films by other people.

The good news is that I finally after all these years found out what was going on with all that pesky rodeo footage. STECKLER's original cut of the film was only a merciful 60 minutes long and he was required to add ten minutes more to play the film in drive-ins and theaters. I guess I can forgive that. This is a hyper low budget movie that just barely scrambled itself into existence so no harm, no foul. It's terribly done in every possible way but somewhat endearingly so and at least it did not cost millions of dollars to make this mess. (What's your excuse THE UNBORN?).

There's no way I could recommend BLOOD SHACK and realistically expect anyone to ever take my advise again, so I won't but I will say that there are tiny sparkles of pure quaintness to behold amongst the sub par, brain numbing wreckage. It's an annoying fiasco mostly but it doesn't have a cynical bone in its body and now I find I've grown slightly and embarrassingly fond of this crappy movie that I once hated with a passion. I was warned that "The Chooper" would get me and I guess the bastard eventually did. Really, I blame Peanuts.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Kathryn K. on the Movie That Inspired Her Lifelong Pediophobia

Posted on By aunt john

… Apparently pediophobia means "fear of dolls," not fear of children. Although little children can be scary, too, especially when they have glowing yellow eyes, or dwell in the corn. But I digress.

This movie was probably made in the 1970s and has all but faded from my memory, except for the terrifying killer doll (pre-Chucky!) at its core. I think it was called "Lights Out: When Widows Weep," but "Lights Out" may have been a TWILIGHT ZONE-type T.V. show.

A woman somehow bought or was given a pair of old-fashioned, Victorian-style dolls, a man and a woman. Something happened to the male doll, and the female doll went on a killing spree. She somehow caused the woman's husband to die, then began haunting the woman.

I don't think we ever SAW the doll killing people. There would be a scene with someone putting the doll in the car and driving away, and next we would see twisted, smoking wreckage–but the doll would be there, mysteriously intact. Possibly even smiling.

The woman kept trying to get rid of the doll by throwing it in the river, etc., but it ALWAYS returned to her. At the end it killed her–perhaps in that car wreck.

I was REALLY young when I saw this, so I don't remember much of it beyond the killer doll element and the creepy way the doll kept coming back no matter how the woman tried to destroy it. What I do remember, vividly, is that shortly after I watched this movie (no doubt without parental supervision), a family friend sent me a package for Christmas … an old-fashioned, Victorian-style DOLL. I became terrified of this doll and insisted that my mom hide it in the closet. Then I'd be afraid to walk past that closet, lest it jump out at me. She offered to take it to work with her and give it away, but I refused, of course, knowing that if she drove off with it in her car, the car would immediately burst into flames. I'm not sure what eventually became of the Doll of Doom, but I've found dolls creepy and frightening ever since.

Does anyone remember this movie (or T.V. show) or know anything about it? I know I never saw it again (though once was clearly enough to traumatize me for life). It was NOT the KAREN BLACK movie about the African totem doll, but it may have been from around the same time.

Thanks,

— Kathryn K.

UNK SEZ:: Thanks Kathryn! I do not know the answer to this Name That Trauma! but if it involves killer dolls I'm dying to find out too. Hopefully your description will ring a bell with one of our readers. In the meantime allow me to cruelly leave you with a scene featuring a scary doll from VACACIONES DE TERROR (1989)…

Name That Trauma :: Reader bdwilcox on a Monstrous Masked Malefactor

Posted on By aunt john

OK, here's a kindertrauma that's a bit different than most. In the ‘80s there was a poster that I saw in a couple of Deck the Walls shops that freaked me the hell out. I believe the artwork was also showcased in Omni magazine (RIP) as well.

The painting was of a horned, green, lizard-like creature wearing a human mask and (if memory serves me right) reading a storybook to some unsuspecting children. It was painted in a hyper-real, neo-surrealistic style very close to Michael Parkes' style. In fact, it may be a Michael Parkes since many of his paintings were being sold as posters at that time. Unfortunately, after weeks of searching I've been unable to locate this masterpiece of lurking terror.

Anyone remember this painting/poster?

Thanks,

— bdwilcox

Traumafessions :: Reader Francisco on Living Dolls, Killer Pigs and a Mummy Found in the Sea

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hey I'm Francisco from Spain! I hope you excuse my poor English, I have recently discovered your site and it is the most interesting and amusing site I have read in a time. I've got not so much film or TV kindertraumas from my childhood because I was a very sensitive boy and tried to avoid those issues but reading about WHY ME? or PIGMON on your site are traumatizing enough. As a child and even as a teenager I've had fear of gore, sea monsters or shark films, other films with disfigurations or people burning…and rats.

Ok, some videos from YouTube I think could be interesting for your web page…

I'm afraid of seeing it every time I try.

It's from a Mexican film by RENE CARDONA JR. called THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE with JOHN HO\USTON and some European beauties and Mexican actors, I saw it as a child in a summer exhibition but it impresses me even more as an adult, an excellent film of psychological horror covering issues like the Bermuda Triangle, Atlantis, UFO, sea monsters and living dolls.

In the post about RAZORBACK you talk about killer pigs, take a look at minute 2.00 aprox… it's EL CARNAVAL DE LAS BESTIAS from spanish actor and filmmaker JACINTO MOLINA aka PAUL NASCHY, this horror thriller was coproduced with Japan in 1980.

More things, TV movies from the '70s and '80s, have you written about DON'T GO TO SLEEP, on the site? and do you remember, I have seen it more or less recently, but don't remember the title, a TV movie from 1978 with a passenger ship in the Caribbean that found an Egyptian mummy in the bottom of the sea?

Again a very interesting site, keep on it!

Greetings from Spain,

— Francisco

UNK SEZ: Thanks Francisco for your supportive words and for the cool and very creepy videos! To answer your questions, we are big fans of 1982's DON"T GO TO SLEEP and talked about it HERE and HERE and the movie about the mummy on the passenger ship from 1978 is called CRUISE INTO TERROR. That one sure has an amazing cast including DIRK BENEDICT, CHRISTOPHER and LYNDA DAY GEORGE, JO ANN HARRIS of THE BEGUILED, LEE MERIWETHER, JOHN FORSYTHE, STELLA STEVENS and even my favorite human RAY MILAND! You can read a bit more on that one at our pal Amanda's MADE FOR TV MAYHEM over HERE! Que tenga un buen dia!

Streaming Alert:: Black Noon (1971)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Today's selection is not so much streaming as hiding out on YouTube like a gangster. As always, when it comes to YouTube, I suggest watching it as soon as possible for fear that it might disappear. BLACK NOON (1971) delivered your Unk some genuine willies, so it's my duty to pass the possibility of similar willies on to you. Fans of seventies T.V. movies, especially those that fret about Old Scratch coming to call, need to see BLACK NOON. Truly, it deserves to be spoken of alongside other celebrated, post-ROSEMARY'S BABY Satanic cult films of its time period. I'm thinking that the only reason it's not more notorious is because it wears the cloak of a western. As far as delivering the horror goes though, I assure you the film has a sneakily wicked scorpion tail.

A young reverend and his wife lose their way in the desert en route to their new home. Luckily before they die of thirst, they are discovered by some townspeople who take them in and as the wife recoups, the preacher finds his services much in need as the isolated town is suffering various hardships. His presence and his preaching seem to have a positive effect. A new vein of gold is found in the local mine, a crippled boy begins to walk and a bullying bandit is disposed of. Everybody is doing the happy Bible boogie except the preacher's wife who is getting sicker and sicker. As the wife begs to scram, the preacher finds himself more and more enthralled by the residents, particularly a beautiful mute named Deliverance. In fact, reverend's ego is so stroked by the townspeople that he is willing to ignore a sudden rash of vivid panic dreams and waking hallucinations of a bloody anguished man. Clearly things are not quit as they appear in the town of Nilbog San Melas. Something fishy and witchy is going on…

If that doesn't pique your interest (and really why should it?) allow me to sell you on the cast. ROY THINNES (THE NORLISS TAPES, SATAN'S SCHOOL FOR GIRLS) plays the passionate, sometimes wild-eyed reverend, mac daddy super pimp RAY MILLAND (THE UNINVITED, THE LOST WEEKEND & THE ATTIC) is the town's head honcho, and the enticingly beautiful mute cat wrangler Deliverance who scares rattlesnakes with her stare is played by a bewitching YVETTE MIMIEUX (she of THE BLACK HOLE.) We also got ourselves some porn-stached HENRY SILVA (BUCK ROGERS, TRAPPED!), some twitchy GLORIA GRAHAME (BLOOD AND LACE, MANSION OF THE DOOMED) and even a dash of DEVIL TIMES FIVE's LIEF GARRETT. If you need more than that you are crazy and should be put down like a rabid raccoon. To be honest, GRAHAME doesn't have nearly enough to do, but it's always good to see her showing up anyway.

Now you have to be a little patient with this one; it was made in 1971 which means it does not tap dance, wave sparklers and shoot gold coins and bubble gum balls out of its mouth every five minutes to keep your attention. It uncoils slowly with a subtle foreboding but when it goes in for the kill, it's remarkably vicious. There's actually still a ringing reverberation in my psyche from the sound of its bear trap snapping shut. Furthermore, some of the visual nails that are hammered home during the finale are remarkably ahead of their time. I'll put the links in the comments section. The picture and sound (maybe use headphones?) aren't the best, but I think it's worth the extra effort. That's it. I'm saying no more. The less known the better. Hope you enjoy this grade-A 74-minute cut of lean mean Beelzebub marinated T.V. beef and do let me know what you think!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Adie S. on Humans Hanging From Hooks

Posted on By aunt john

There's a movie I have been trying to find out what it is for probably 10 years now at least. I only remember one scene, as I was only 4 at the time so that would've been 1991/1992. It was in colour and I'm sure it was a movie and was on TV or video, so I believe it would've been from the '80s (I know, doesn't help.)

The scene I remember was I believe the beginning of the movie, a big mechanical device was in the middle of the floor in a large room, the device was a huge metal pillar leading up to the ceiling, at the top it had 'branches' (metal poles coming out toward the walls) which had humans hanging from the end of them on hooks, and if I remember correctly, the device was spinning the branches around the room.

A person fell from one of them and I remember it was a black guy; then the camera zoomed into him, and he was facing away from it. He turned his head to the camera and had a face with what you would imagine a demon looks like.

I have seen some gifs which I believe are from the movie, but cannot find them now, they are of demon-like creatures.

All I know is that a lot of people thought it was HELLRAISER, as the demons did look rather like cenobites to be honest, but I know for certain it wasn't any HELLRAISER as I am a big fan of HELLRAISER.

Please if anybody gets reminded of the intro or even just a random scene like this, help me out. I've been dying to know for years.

Thank you,

— Adie S.

Traumafessions :: Reader Cheryl on The Haunting of Julia (Full Circle)

Posted on By aunt john

I'm surprised I couldn't find THE HAUNTING OF JULIA (FULL CIRCLE) on your site.

That movie definitely traumatized me as a kid, especially the (SPOILER!) ending where creepy evil ghost girls kills MIA FARROW. I'd actually volunteer to write an article for Kindertrauma on it. Have a lot of things to say, just watched it as an adult last night and couldn't sleep! Still chilling.

Anyways, here's the ending of the movie:

Brrrrrrrr.

— Cheryl

Official Traumatizer:: Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (1973)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

There's a re-do of the classic 1973 T.V. flick DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK right around the bend so let's say we take a closer look at the original. There's something about this relatively simple tale that allows it to forge a significant mark. The premise, a woman fighting for her existence against tiny, Smurf-sized fiends is on the surface silly and yet the minimal production hits an uncanny tone that feels as old as the hills and bewilderingly familiar. Tiny monsters aside, we're dealing with a haunted house and a haunted house is usually a prop to depict a haunted mind. There is a bounty of horror movie titles that begin with the cautionary word "Don't" but none whose suggestion is as difficult to achieve wholly. We can choose not to go in the basement, in the house or in the woods when titles warn against it but the human fear of darkness is planted in our DNA. It's primal and it's permanent even if what we dread to find in the blackness alters with age.

For many, the fear of darkness is born in their earliest of memories. It doesn't come as a surprise that this film would have its strongest effect upon those who viewed it at a tender age. The thing under the bed and the thing in the closet are both given ample room to run and play here. In fact, we have sort of an all-star cast of classic terror instigators, an old dark house, whispering voices, howling winds and ink-black shadows that could easy ensconce our worst nightmares, they all make an appearance before the curtain closes (and when this curtain closes it closes hard.) The childhood horrors traipsing around in this movie are as plain as day, they scatter like roaches when the lights go on but what I think makes the film special are the larger adult horrors that lumber in the background. They're reluctant, abstruse and somehow even darker.

Sally Farnham (KIM DARBY) seemingly has all of her ducks lined up in a row. She and her upwardly mobile husband Alex (JIM HUTTON) have recently inherited a dream home from her grandparents. While Alex is busy piling up promotions at work, Sally spends her day with her interior decorator, maid and handyman setting up house. Problems arise when Sally discovers her Grandpa's study in which lies a bricked-up chimney. The handyman warns her that "some things are better left alone," but she delves just the same. She opens the chimney's ash chute and peers into an absolute abyss. Now she has inherited something new. Demons have been freed to taunt and take down Sally. Of course nobody believes these entities are real and soon her world is in shambles. Nothing has changed but everything has. Her husband seems suddenly a work-consumed jerk and the house she once loved grows smaller and smaller and darker and darker. Her ducks are frustratingly no longer in a row.

The prune faced whispering gnome gremlins of DBAOTD are certainly memorable but if you were to edit them out of the picture you'd have a story about a woman crashing face first into a wall of denial. I'm not discounting the trolls as nuisances but it's interesting to note just where the fabric tears in Sally's life occur and the many loaded symbols the mini-goons utilize to frazzle her.

First of all, it's obvious that the Farnham marriage is not as perfect as once thought. It turns out maybe Sally isn't feeling as fulfilled in her set-up as she originally planned. Alex is never around and when he is, he's barking out orders, mineralizing her needs (and troll concerns) and critiquing her party hosting abilities. Holy crap, she's a trophy wife in a gilded cage and why did she never realize this before? Spending her husband's money to replace ashtrays destroyed by goblins doesn't even fill the void! Sure Alex is on the fast track but where the hell is Sally going? At this rate she could end up trapped, growing old in this house forever! (Note: Alex has some reasonable fears too, like that his wife will pull him into the quicksand with her.)

"Some things are better left alone." If Sally had just gone with the flow and refused to examine that which she was warned not to, would life had continued on a smooth gnome- free course? Are the walnut headed midgets that hand Sally razor blades, slip her sleeping pills and leave her with gashes in her palms the real problem or just creeps who want to accentuate those that already exist while forcing an accelerated outcome?

It's easy to conclude that Sally's "nervous" disposition masks resentment towards her authoritative husband and her unsatisfactory domestic life but that doesn't explain why her grandfather succumbed to the same demons when he retired to his study. If we are to take the little monsters at their word then they have already explained what is at stake and what Sally needs to fear losing in the dark, namely her spirit. Sally ultimately fears the same thing from her husband, her house AND the creatures, that she will be consumed and lost within them. One might assume that she has not only inherited the knowledge of her dormancy but the dormancy itself. Whose life is she living?

Hope you've seen this because now I'm going to talk about the ending. It's a favorite. Some folks might find Sally's ineffectualness annoying, but it's rather the point of the story. Sally looses. Drugged, she puts forth a somewhat valiant effort attempting to fight back by casting light (a camera flash) upon her darkness thriving tormentors and yet still she fails. She is dragged into the chimney and the aid of her husband and close friend are too little and too late. It's not unlike the conclusion of THE HAUNTING or THE YELLOW WALLPAPER and frankly, I'm all for it. Horror stories are in no way required to be tales of empowerment and conquest. It's not their job to boost your ego. Please pick another genre if you want to see your fantasies fulfilled.

DONT BE AFRAID OF THE DARK is about a woman who ostensibly has it all. She's living the dream or at least the dream of 1973 and it's not enough. The hubby is placated and the rooms are decorated just so but an emptiness, a "darkness" remains. She's sold herself out really to stand in somebody's shadow not realizing just how cold and dark shadows can get. There's a Pandora's Box element for sure with Sally daring to look where advised not to but what she finds is only the truth exaggerated (and miniaturized). In the end, Sally's voice joins the chorus of the lost; her spirit forever trapped in a house living a life that is no longer her own. In a weird way though her dilemma is solved and her feeling of disconnect is no longer an issue. Depersonalization cures all. Now she is an integral part of something.

Many who return to DON'T after being traumatized by it as kids find it less than what they remember and there are those who, having heard tale of this flick, track it down only to find it laughable. I can understand that but I wonder if perhaps they are investing too much in the micro-ghouls as literal beings. If you instead read them as representatives of a privileged woman's swept under the rug internal demons, this is an exceptionally strong outing (especially considering its 74 minute running time and two week shooting schedule.) In the alternate dimension of genuine reality, I don't believe that Sally was dragged into the chimney to disappear forever but I do believe she indeed lost her battle to find a meaningful place for herself in the world and succumbed to a suffocating status quo, trapped, diminished and ultimately snuffed out like a candle. Whether it's worse to shrink into a wrinkle-faced troll or transform into "the perfect party host" is up to the viewer to decide.