kindertrauma

Month: May 2014

Sunday Viewing:: Basket Case 2 (1990)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I forgot to tell all you critters that while I was rummaging through HULU's boss freebie pile I spotted an old pal, BASKET CASE 2! I love this wonderfully bizarre, surprisingly thoughtful, highly hilarious sequel so much that my brain now tends to think of the original BASKET CASE as a prequel. Who can blame me when SUPERMAN 3's reluctant robot lady ANNIE ROSS rules so hard in BC2? She really should be forced to star in everything forever for the benefit of mankind. If you have a mind to, you can read my full crusty & dusty review HERE, catch the snappy trailer below and then happily skip on over to the HULU joint to watch this fine feathered freak-fest for the sensational price of zero plus zero clams! Make sure you tell them Unk sent you so that you may marvel at the profound indifference that statement yields!

TOTALLY TRUE TID-BIT: Here's ANNIE as a kid in an OUR GANG short!

Name That Trauma:: Crafty Pants Carol on a Threatening TV Terror

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hey you guys!

I was just visiting with my cousin and he was telling me about a movie he saw in the '70s that scared the crap out of him and it sounds really cool – but I have no idea what it is.

There's a woman running through a house being chased by someone – or a group of people – and she keeps seeing herself either on a TV – or multiple TVs throughout the house – being killed. Or it might be in a painting. But it seems like the TV thing was more what his memory was. And she is either being burned or hung – or maybe both – in what she is seeing. And what she is seeing is making her run from the people chasing her. He said it was color and seemed like it was made in the '70s.

Thanks!!!

Name That Trauma:: Sean G. on a Wish Granting Dollhouse

Posted on By unkle lancifer

This was one of those movies that we were shown in elementary school to scare the shit out of us to straighten up and fly right. It was made in the ‘70s. These kids are annoyed that their parents are constantly telling them what to do, what to wear, making them go to school, etc., the standard stuff that kids bitch about. And then one day, when they are rooting around the attic of their house, they find some kind of magic dollhouse, which contains a slip of paper that says that if you make a wish to this house, the wish will come true. Naturally, the kids wish that their parents let them do whatever they want to do.

The next morning the kids wake up and go downstairs and see that their parents are still in bed. They ask if they have to go to school. The groggy parents say, "Whatever you want to do, honey." So they stay home and have a good time. Meanwhile, the father doesn't go to work and the mother just sits around doing nothing and days go by, the kids don't go to school, the dad doesn't go to work. At one point, the kid's friend's come by and ask them why they're not going to school, they say that they just don't want to. The daughter asks the mother if maybe they should go back to school and she says "whatever you want to do, honey." Things start to become desperate. The parents just walk around in robes, no one is going grocery shopping, the heat and electricity in the house is turned off, the daughter is shown scraping the last remnants of peanut butter out of a jar because she is so hungry.

In the last scene, the father builds a fire in a fireplace so they can warm up and the kids put the magic house in the fire and then there is a freeze-frame. This movie totally fucked me up. I had nightmares about it and so did my friends. What the hell was this movie and why was this shown to kids?

Name That Trauma:: Naja on a Potato Sack Clad Teenage Captress

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hi, I have a trauma I have been thinking about for a couple years and I decided to finally submit my memory to you in hopes someone can figure it out.

It seemed to be set in a desert area of the U.S. A teenage girl (maybe a little older) dressed in potato sacks, took care of her old father out in the middle of nowhere. But her dad dies and she is alone.

One day a city guy's car breaks down near her desert shack, and somehow she takes him hostage, like a pet or something. That's all I can remember except that at one point I can remember he gets cold, so she crawls in next to him to warm him. This isn't some kind of a hostage love story. The guy is really terrorized and tries to escape. I can't remember the outcome at all. I don't think it was good because my feeling about my memory of this movie is that it upset me.

To the best of my recollection, it was a movie from the '70s. I would guess early seventies, but I'm not sure.

The girl was a sort of a homely thin blond. The man she took hostage was slim and dark haired.

Can anybody remember this movie?

Thanks so much,

Naja

PS, I have been really enjoying your website since I found it a couple years ago.

Traumafessions:: Bill S. on Soap's Possessed Baby & Alfred Hitchcock's Special Delivery

Posted on By unkle lancifer

One of the earliest TV memories I have, is of the show, 'SOAP'.

I haven't thought about this for years, but the episode that totally freaked me out, was the one where the baby became possessed by the Devil.

Alfred Hitchcock Hour episode 'Special Delivery'

This is online somewhere. Can't locate where. A little boy orders a kit for growing mushrooms. Slowly, the boy's personality changes and his behavior becomes odd. I think what freaked me out about this episode, is that it was one of the few times on television that something strange like that .. would happen to a child. Which definitely doesn't happen these days.

Thanks! Great site!

Alien Abduction Triple Feature:: Intruders (1992), Progeny (1998) & Visitors of the Night (1995)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

 

 

I remember years back talking to a friend on the phone in my old apartment. We were yacking about creepy things you shouldn't yack about if you don't want to get the creeps. Suddenly all the lights went out and I stood in blackness. The phone spit out some garbled non-language that couldn't be the voice of my friend and then went dead. I couldn't see a foot in front of me but I could hear loud multiple foot stomps pounding down the staircase outside my door. "This is it," I thought. "They're coming for me and this is the end. How did I forget that this was going to happen eventually?"

 

 

Then the lights went back on. It was just some citywide blackout. Nothing was happening. There was nobody in the hall. What was all that stomping though? There's only one apartment above me and the floor-quaking racket I heard sounded like a dozen bulls charging down the stairs. It was nothing to worry about. I called back my friend and joked through the sticky paranoia. The thing I couldn't shake was how quickly my mind traveled from alpha to omega and the weird sense that the world disappearing beneath my feet was something inevitable, that part of me was secretly resigned to or prepared for. I went to bed that night knowing that with the drop of a hat my sense of security could vanish and that Crazy Town was just a curtain drop away. Maybe I can better explain the episode by comparing it to a terrifying dream that when recounted, sounds terrifically lame.

 

 

Anyway the above non-incident returned to my brain while I was watching the 1992 alien abduction miniseries INTRUDERS. Anyone who has seen FIRE IN THE SKY (1993) can tell you just how scary alien abduction can be but this movie has something even more unsettling. I'm talking about faceless dudes who disguise themselves as telephone repairmen (!) and have no problem walking through walls. These guys get under my skin because rather than fly in ships, they just skip through dimensions and probably pal around with the likes of THE MOTHMAN.

 

 

I'm just saying if I get abducted, I'd prefer a straight forward U.F.O. deal complete with large-eyed, skinny grey beings over that weird reality warping jive where there are no rules or boundaries and you're likely to find out your whole existence is fake and part of some experiment and you don't even have a body and are just a brain in a box somewhere being fed nonsense through an electrode. If something like that is going on, I don't want to know about it. Furthermore, if any extraterrestrial shape-shifting shadow creature out there is thinking about enlightening me with trippy COMMUNION-style mind-fuckery in which I have to talk to a doppelganger of myself wearing a magician's outfit they should stand warned that I will simply cover my ears with my hands and go "la-la-la".

 

 

Let's change the subject. INTRUDERS is extra special because it was directed by the undisputed super king of wonderfulness, DAN CURTIS, who enriched all of our lives with such delights as DARK SHADOWS, THE NIGHT STRANGLER, TRILOGY OF TERROR and the traumadelic BURNT OFFERINGS to name a few. INTRUDERS was originally a miniseries, so it's a little on the lengthy side but what are you in such a rush for anyway? Stars? You want stars? How's about some RICHARD (THE EVIL) CRENNA as a crow eating smarty-pants, MARE "BEST peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I have had in my entire life" WINNINGHAM as a convincing abductee and MONKEY SHINES' own JASON BEGHE as a guy who is not a quadriplegic and doesn't have a monkey nurse that's in love with him. You also get ALAN AUTRY who played a cop in HOUSE and SUSAN BLAKELY of MY MOM'S A WEREWOLF fame. Remember that one? With RUTH BUZZI? It's practically TEEN WITCH 2– so good.

 

 

Because it takes place in the ancient days of 1992, INTRUDERS is chuck full of psychological mumbo jumbo like hypnotic regression therapy and the theory that folks dream up alien abductions to cloak repressed memories of sexual molestation. Remarkably, it tries to get away with switching gears near the end and painting the entities as good natured and kind even after we have witnessed them raping, stealing babies and shoving painful metal objects up people's noses for three hours. I'm sorry but nice creatures don't steal you from your bed, drug you, shove who knows what into you and then dump you like trash thirty miles away from your home, forcing you to do a walk of shame in your pajamas.

 

 

INTRUDERS is kind of all over the place but CURTIS knows how to create a dark creep-tastic off-kilter scene when he wants to. There's one bit that finds MARE's character remembering an early encounter from her youth. It's all gauzy and dream like and ends shockingly with a scowling mutant alien hybrid kid turning to face her. It's alarming as only CURTIS could pull off (sort of like the ending of the "Bobby" segment of DEAD OF NIGHT) and I stand shocked that nobody has ever sent in a Traumafession for it. No, I wasn't bowled over by the entire affair, as there's one too many cliche ridden "open your mind" diatribes but there are at least a half dozen successful scenes that will make your house seem darker than you remember.

 

 

 

 

Not soon after INVADERS was done I realized that I had to re-watch 1998's PROGENY. This is a movie directed by the sometimes brilliant BRIAN YUZNA (SOCIETY) and written by his frequent cohort STUART GORDON (RE-ANIMATOR). It seems like most folks hate or dismiss this flick but I can't resist saluting its colorful freak flag. Due to its subject matter it's easy to poke fun of but its never not entertaining and that's good enough for me. I realize normal genre fans will not be equally over the moon over the idea of COMMUNION's LINDSY CROUSE (!) playing a psychiatrist or THE MUMMY's ARNOLD VOSLOO rampaging against invisible people in his boxers but certainly THE THING's WILFRED BRIMLEY as a gynecologist and CHILD'S PLAY's BRAD DORIF as a nerdy U.F.O expert sweeten the deal.

 

 

PROGENY is an alien abduction version of ROSEMARY'S BABY that is a perfect mate to INVADERS as it touches many of the same bases including forced impregnation, baby swiping and shoving metallic objects up people's noses that self destruct when you remove and attempt to analyze them. It's far-fetched, cartoony and histrionic (VOSLOO is like RAY MILAND on steroids and that's a compliment) but let's give it credit for braving toward gooey uncomfortable places that many a dry alien flick avoids. This is no way as thought provoking as YUZNA's SOCIETY yet it's somehow more consistent and feels a little more complete.

 

 

Like YUZNA's INITIATION (aka SNDN 4), it sort of plays like CRONENBERG for dummies and yay on that. YUZNA returns to collaborate with wildly creative make up effects artist SCREAMING MAD GEORGE and that's good news too. The alien beings depicted here have translucent, white flesh that reminds me of spring rolls and twisty tubular forms that are like ugly balloon animals made from condoms. At one point there is an abduction flashback that contains an awesome giant LOVECRAFT-ian super monster and it's wonderfully laughable and horrifying at the same time. This may be the sillier side of abduction but its sweet lunacy tastes great after INVADERS.

 

 

 

 

Let's do one more! How about a LIFETIME movie called VISITORS OF THE NIGHT from 1995? This one stars everybody's dream date MARKIE "the mullet" POST, PET SEMATARY's trustworthy DALE MIDKIFF, PONTYPOOL's scarecrow- faced STEPHEN McHATTIE and singer of the international smash hit "lollipops & gummy bears" CANDACE CAMERON. This was a semi-facetious watch for me that totally paid off in that it features an evil Christmas tree with impeccably placed glowing eyes and worse, a devious grin (perhaps only myself and anyone crazy enough to trip on acid while watching a MARKIE POST movie will catch this subtle feature).

 

 

This is an evil Christmas tree! Please tell me you see the face!

 

 

This last slice might be my favorite but only because I watched it the most recently. It's noteworthy because it concerns not only man vs. alien but mom vs. teen! Sadly it gets super duper schmaltzy toward the end and acts like a LIFETIME dog whistle howling about a mother's love knowing no bounds. In doing so though, it kind of reveals the key to all three movies and how they're all really about people feeling powerless and worrying about the fact that they have zero ability to insure the safety of those they love. I'm not saying I don't believe in U.F.O stuff, just that after watching these three flicks back-to-back ,I wonder if the real fear trying to be expressed is the fear of doctors, hospitals, operations and faceless authoritarians that can snatch you away at any time. I'm going to have to look further into that. Suffice to say all three of these movies involved childhood trauma, lost time and elusive memories of some sort so they are ever so welcome here.

 

 

If you've been abducted recently or simply like watching other people being abducted while sitting safely on your couch this triple feature is for you! Check ‘em out before they disappear like an alien implant under investigation!

 

 

 

 

Name That Trauma:: Philip W. on a Minimalist Animated Nuclear Devastation Short

Posted on By unkle lancifer

One fine afternoon in the early '80s, I zipped my cable box channel indicator to the left, locked on to HBO and caught part of one of the most depressing and bizarre bits of animation I've ever been witness to.

It was done up in a very minimalist style, simple colorless line drawings against a blank white background. There were no character voices, only a narrator with a British accent. I don't know how long it had been on, but here's the part I caught:

A plane was zipping around the sky, out of control. It was apparently being flown by an outdoorsman who had his team of sled dogs on board. The plane crashed and everyone on board perished.

The next bit involved a child who needed an operation. You saw him standing alone in the middle of the screen and then an arm snatched him off-screen. It was then revealed that due to complications he died during surgery.

There was then a scene featuring a family huddled together. The scene switched to a shed and the narrator revealed that the family sought shelter inside but had no food. It was some sort of storage shed filled with containers of chemicals, and all the family members ended up drinking them and dying. This was represented by several bubbles rising above the roof that then turned into question marks.

At this point I had decided to forgo the ending of this ever-so-joyous offering and quickly zipped right, desperately hoping to catch an episode of "You Can't Do That On Television" or possibly "Danger Mouse" and forget what I had seen. But it's stayed with me ever since, and despite searching for clues online, I have never found out what it was.

Given the tone and the times, I figure it had something to do with the after effects of a nuclear war. There wasn't much more to the narration than descriptions of what was happening with the various characters. And given the narrator's accent, I assume it was made in the UK. Perhaps the BBC or some film company didn't want kids to miss out on all of the fun adults were having when watching "Threads" or "The War Game." So did anyone else out there happen to see this?