Month: February 2024

Three films about killers in houses: FRIGHT (1971). THEY'RE PLAYING WITH FIRE (1984) and TORMENT (1986). Fright utilizes the babysitter-killer motif marvelously and is one of the best British horror films ever made. They're Playing with Fire is a highly entertaining film about a cougar seducing her student and utilizing his services in a murder scheme to gain an inheritance from her husband's mother and grandmother.

Torment follows a cop on the trail of a serial killer who finds up setting his sights on his girlfriend who is staying at his mother's house, this is a fantastic little film with a twist you probably won't see coming.

Three backwoods inbred horror films: NIGHT OF FEAR (1973), GEEK (1987) and LUTHER THE GEEK (1989). The first of which concerns a woman whose car breaks down on a lonely stretch of country road where she is attacked by a hick and his army of rats; very nasty and effective. Geek follows a couple who run afoul of an inbred, well…geek, after saving the life of his sister and being invited to the homestead of their grateful father. The standout of this film for me is the surprisingly poignant, nuanced performance by Dick Kreusser, as the father, Eben, whom you really feel for. Lastly, Luther the Geek is a straight up crazy film which revolves around a nutjob, sporting metal dentures, recently released from prison with a penchant for tearing out throats. 

Three films for those of us who need some horror with their sci-fi: LIQUID SKY ('82), THE HIDDEN ('87) and DARK ANGEL (aka I COME IN PEACE, 1990). Liquid Sky is a one-of-a-kind film about heroin junkie aliens who suck the phermones created in the brains of people who have just had sex because they find it gets them higher than their previous drug of choice. The Hidden is a David Lynchesque sci-fi film about a body hopping alien being pursued by a cop and an intergalatic detective impersonating an FBI agent.

Dark Angel, starring Dolph Lundgren is the sci-fi-action love child of the previous two films. Stop me if this sounds familiar; a cop with the help of an alien lawman is pursuing what he comes to find out is an alien drug dealer sucking people's brains for endorphins which junkies on his home planet use for their high.

Three Japanese horror films: BIOTHERAPY (1986), SWEET HOME (1989) and EVIL DEAD TRAP (1988). Biotherapy is a slasher film which concerns a group of scientists stalked and sushi-fied by a trenchcoat wearing alien. Sweet Home is a supernatural horror film about a TV production crew who are attacked by the ghost of a dead painters wife whom they are making a documentary about. Finally, Evil Dead Trap is a slasher film that feels quite a bit like a Dario Argento film, right down to the music. A TV crew investigate an old warehouse which was the sight of a snuff film they were sent and they pay for doing so.

Three films about people with supernatural abilities: INDESTRUCTIBLE MAN (1956), THE PSYCHOTRONIC MAN (1980) and STIGMA (1980). Indestructible Man stars Lon Chaney, Jr. as an executed criminal brought back to life and given supernatural powers through a scientific experiment and his attendant rampage through Los Angeles. The Psychotronic Man is a fairly creepy film about a guy who has bizarre experiences and develops telekinetic powers he uses to kill with. Despite its low budget, it manages to be unnerving and hypnotic. Stigma is another Jose Ramon Larraz film and another particular favorite of mine that deals with past lives, incest, telekinetic phenomena and murder committed by one, Sebastian, a young man with the power to kill with his thoughts.

THE FLY II (1989) comes nowhere near reaching the heights of its brilliant parent film but folks who dismiss it as an empty also-ran are missing out on a strangely effective monster flick. The previous film’s tortured lovers Seth Brundle and Ronnie Quaife are now deceased but their tormented offspring Martin (Eric Stolz) continues their angst-filled legacy. There’s much scientific mumbo jumbo to weed through here but amongst the chaff are scenes of true heartbreak (don’t get me started on that poor deformed dog) and a wildly impressive final hulking fly-beast proudly presented by special effects artist turned directer, Chris Walas. All ends unhappily ever after for sure and the film’s depressing dour vibe may be mostly responsible for its negative reception but I can’t help but respect its unflinching gravitation toward the unpleasant ugliness of true horror.

THEY (2002) has approximately one diehard fan and I fear that may be yours truly. I can’t help it, it’s got an overall creepy waking-nightmare tone and it’s all about solemn adults digging up and dealing with the traumas of childhood (especially fears of the dark and of things that go bump in the night). Mia Farrow-esque Laura Reagan stars as psychology student Julia Lund who is endlessly trying her boyfriend Paul (Buffy’s Marc Lucas) Loomis’ patience due to her habit of spying grotesque gargoyle like creatures out of the corner of her eye and sometimes hallucinating an alternative dimension filled with such creatures. All involved believe she’s crazy but anyone who has seen the ABC 1973 made for television film DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK knows she’s not. Directed by Robert Harmon who did the fantastic THE HITCHER (’86) and featuring solid performances (Ethan Emery as Julia’s childhood friend Sam is particularly good), the wrongly maligned THEY has much to offer for fans of the more psychological side of horror.

LEVIATHAN (’89) may have fared better if it was a little less stingy when it came to showing its central aquatic monster (designed by brilliant Stan Winston). No worries though, as intimidating as THE THING (’82)-leaning creature may be, the film’s most disturbing elements involve body horror and fear of contamination and disease. Part of the late eighties ALIEN (’79) underwater craze (see also THE ABYSS, DEEP STAR SIX, LORDS OF THE DEEP et. al.) LEVIATHAN separates itself from the fish school by not only having a likable cast (Peter Weller, Amanda Pays, Daniel Stern, Ernie Hudson, Richard Crenna, Hector Elizondo and Lisa Eilbacher) but also in my opinion, one of the greatest (and most punchable) villains in the frosty eyed Meg Foster as corporate ice-queen Ms. Martin. Written by David Webb Peoples (BLADE RUNNER) and Jeb Stuart (DIE HARD), directed by George P. Cosmatos (COBRA, TOMBSTONE), with a score by the phenomenal Jerry Goldsmith (THE OMEN, POLTERGEIST and the aforementioned ALIEN among sooo many others), LEVIATHAN has a pedigree that can’t be sneezed at. I’ll always wish there was a bit more of a solid, crystalizing view of the mutant baddie but this undervalued fish tale is a memorable thrill ride anyway.

SPOOKIES (’86) is more of a cinematic catalog of awesome eighties special make-up effects than an actual movie but you won’t hear me complaining. This crazy quilt of a movie has its reasons for being borderline incomprehensible (it was actually two different films that were joined together with the aid of some newly added tinker-toy connecting scenes) but who needs logic when you are dealing with an avalanche of the undead, farting mud monsters, witches, glowing-eyed grim reapers and even a giant web spewing spider lady? It’s even got one of those absolutely irresistible eighties synth scores! Sure, the characters are all slightly annoying but that only makes their inevitable demises that much more enjoyable. This is one true monster mash that has to be seen to be believed.

TerrorVision (’86) is a goofy, extremely eighties sci-fi/horror comedy about a destructive alien creature who looks like a mound of garbage that travels by way of television signals. Some say the only good cult films are those that are unintentional but this frothy, fun-time flick is as cult as they come and was surely built to be so. Surely the casting of Gerrit Graham (“Beef” from De Palma’s PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE) and cult Queen Mary Waranov (CHELSEA GIRLS, CHOPPING MALL, EATING RAOUL and countless more) as swinging parents sealed this film’s cult status fate from the get-go. Filling out the cast is the always excellent Diane Franklin (AMITYVILLE II: THE POSSESSION) portraying colorful new wave daughter Suzy, MONSTER SQUAD & FRIGHT NIGHT II’s Jon Gries as her punker boyfriend “O.D”, Chad Allen as the Rambo-obsessed youngest child and Bert Remsen as loony survivalist gramps. Directed by Ted Nicolaou of the SUBSPECIES series, produced, and co-written by the prolific Charles Band and featuring a score by Richard Band (RE-ANIMATOR, TROLL, FROM BEYOND etc.), TerrorVision is a non-stop barrage of enviable interior design, music video inspired sharp angles and fluorescent hues swirling around a gooey, bulging-eyed glob of a creature. What’s not to love?

SHE CREATURE (2001) is the first in a short lived Cinemax series that utilized AIP (American International Pictures) movie titles as springboards for modern interpretations. The series was fittingly entitled “Creature Features” and this inaugural entry centers around a captured mermaid whose final boss monster form is beautifully realized by the late great Stan Winston. There’s a lot of cozy waterlogged atmosphere thanks to the story taking place mainly on a boat circa 1905 (In fact, it’s a bit of a cinematic precursor to THE LAST VOYAGE OF THE DEMETER and the strong cast includes the likes of Rufus Sewell and Carla Gugino. Few cinematic monsters are as sympathetic as the exploited creature presented here and her ultimate true form reveal is surprisingly satisfying.

THE BEAST WITHIN (1982) had one of the most intriguing ad campaigns I can recall from my youth and even though the film doesn’t quite live up to its threatening, “we dare you to watch” reputation it still offers more than a few unforgettable sights. Heck, this is one of the few films that gave me nightmares BEFORE I actually saw it! Paul Clemens plays Michael MacClearly whose puberty is especially problematic due to his being the product of his mother being raped by a giant locust of some sort. Scriptwriter Tom (CHILD’S PLAY, FRIGHT NIGHT) Holland tries his best to make the murky material make sense but best to just go with the flow and appreciate the special effects (that cross the line into hilariously cartoonish at points) and the effectively swampy southern locale.

MOSQUITO (1994) can easily be mistaken for a by-the-numbers giant insect flick (please don’t confuse it with the previous year’s far inferior SKEETER) but it’s super fun, covertly clever and features some (literally) eye-popping effects. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a garden variety mosquito sucked the blood from an alien whose ship crash landed on earth, the outlandish answers you are looking for are here. You’ll also encounter an appearance by the lead guitarist of The Stooges (Ron Asheton) and a rousing tribute to THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE featuring original Leatherface Gunner Hanson. All in all, this is a rollicking good time you'd be wrong to swat.

PROPHECY (1979) had a movie poster and print ad declaring it “The Monster Movie” and with its giant mutant bear aberration (her name is actually Katahdin and it’s not her fault her mom ate mercury tainted fish), it did not renege on that promise. Director John Frankenheimer does his best to carve something dignified out of writer David (THE OMEN) Seltzers’ stew of Indian folklore, corporate greed and environmental reprimands and if he doesn’t quite succeed at least we get to see folks torn limb from limb. It’s unlikely critics were ever going to happily swallow this creature rampage hokum but let it be said that there’s at least one scene in this film (you all know I’m referring to the exploding sleeping bag incident) that had more impact on a generation than anything witnessed in far better received thrillers of its era. In any case, PROPHECY will always loom as an epic monster movie (and a fountain of nostalgia) in my mind and who needs critic’s approval when you got a giant mutated bear on your side?

THE BOOGENS (’82) are tricycle-sized varmints with glassy eyes and bodies that resemble a giant crab shoved into a turtle shell. These poor creatures were perfectly content to hang out underground twiddling their tentacles until some wise guys decided to re-open their mine that was specifically closed down due to multiple boogen-related deaths. Anyone who follows these pages knows this is my go-to winter comfort horror movie thanks to its super charming leads, quaint locale and commitment to spotlighting an adorable doggie named Tiger. I could go on and on and indeed I have HERE.

DEEP RISING (1998) is a rousing horror adventure filled with intrigue, humor and plenty of sea serpent tentacles (courtesy of special effects master Rob “THE THING” Bottin). Written and directed by future THE MUMMY (’99)-helmer Stephen Sommers, this misunderstood mini-masterpiece also features an impeccable cast that includes Treat Williams (RIP, one of the true greats) Famke Janssen, Anthony Heald, Cliff Curtis, Kevin J. O’Conner and Dijon Hounsou among others. Back in my video store working days I was able to attend an advance sneak peak viewing of this fun flick and it remains one of my favorite movie -going memories. The crowd went wild, popcorn flew and all were riveted from the opening credits till the hopeful-for-sequel ending. I was a hundred percent certain it was going to be an unanimously loved hit but for some reason (I blame shockingly uninspired marketing) it did poorly at the box office. Over the years it has slowly collected the devout fans it deserves but if it has somehow evaded your grasp, consider this a reminder to dive into it as soon as you can.

THE KINDRED (1987). Family reunions can be a drag especially when your sibling is a giant fish mutant (don’t I know it!). Let’s face it folks, when 1950’s-style mad science mayhem meets 1980’s level make-up artistry and practical effects, the audience wins every time. Once a late night cable staple, THE KINDRED fell off many a horror fan’s radar after avoiding the jump from VHS to DVD but now that it’s on Blu-ray, there’s no excuse for missing this slime-dripping throwback gem. Sporting a cast of scene-chewing masters (Rod Steiger, Kim Hunter) and engaging then-newcomers (Amanda Pays, Talia Balsam), this agreeably overstuffed B-movie dynamo will have you checking the backseat of your car for creatures stowing away in watermelons for many years to come.

THE ALIEN FACTOR (1978) is simply not content delivering one mere monster from outer space, it delivers three, each being more absurd then the one that preceded it. Created by the unstoppable Don Dohler (FIEND, NIGHTBEAST), this backyard beast feast may be assembled by bubble gum and popsicle sticks but it’s charmingly earnest and more fun than most movies quadruple its budget. You know the drill: UFO crashes to Earth delivering murderous entities and small town sheriff tries to protect the locals while greedy mayor sabotages his efforts in order to insure plans for a future amusement park are not thwarted. I’ll admit the first time I caught this makeshift mock-buster on VHS, my poor soul internally whimpered for a refund, but over the years my aghast pity has transformed into unfeigned respect and slow-clapping, nodding approval. Sure, the creatures presented somewhat resemble oatmeal plastered Halloween costumes strutting down a Jr. High School assembly stage but damn how you can’t keep your eyes off them!

THE CAVE (2005) got slammed by critics and audiences alike and although it’s no masterpiece, much of the animosity towards it may have been due to it being released around the same time as Neil Marshal’s similarly set and far superior, spelunking suspense classic THE DESCENT. I had avoided it for years based one its bad reputation but a recent watch entertained me well enough and I’d recommend it to anyone looking for a low emotional commitment monster mash that plays like an underground version of 2000’s PITCH BLACK. Heck, both pictures even feature the always reliable Cole Hauser (THE CAVE’s full deck cast also boasts Piper Perabo, Lena Headey, Morris Chestnut, Eddie Cibrian and Daniel Day Kim) It’s all rote, predictable and inconsequential for sure but the sets are splendid, the creatures (when visible) are cool, the stunts are impressive and I gotta admit that sometimes (maybe most the time) I find comfort in familiarity. Your world won’t be rocked but this is a fun diversion if you enjoy seeing disposable characters picked off one by one by less than humans beasties.

EQUINOX (1970) was warning folks (particularly KFC chomping picnickers) about the perils of reading from ancient Evil tomes a good decade before THE EVIL DEAD (’81) followed suit. Why didn’t anyone listen? Those lucky enough to stumble upon this eye-popping oddity on late night television (or preferably a drive-in) back in the day can attest to its amusing yet still somewhat eerie power. Fans of cabin-centric locales, Lovecraftian yore, Harryhausen-happy stop motion effects (we’re taking everything from flying winged demons to giant ape dudes), demonically possessed forest rangers and fashions befitting the B-52’s will be left perpetually smitten.