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your happy childhood ends here!
BODY SNATCHERS (1993): Jack Finney’s 1954 science-fiction novel INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS inspired an entire sub-genre of film that seems endlessly relevant no matter the time period. There’s just something about the suspicion that once interesting people are being silently replaced by braindead automatons with zero sense of humor that feels completely relatable. In the early nineties cult filmmaker Abel Ferrara took a stab at the pod people invasion tale this time adding themes specifically concerning the conformist nature of militarism. Due the film’s limited setting on a military base it doesn’t quite achieve the goal of convincing viewers of a global threat but thanks to an exceedingly strong cast, updated effects and Ferrara’s natural leaning toward noir-level nihilism, it’s still effectively chilling (I may be a bit biased as one of my very first truly terrifying experiences in a movie theater was watching Philip Kaufman’s 1979 ultimate take on the material which frankly, still haunts the back of my mind to this day). One thing that is absolutely not debatable in regards to this loose franchise entry is the top tier, extraordinary, ice-pick sharp performance by Meg (ONE DARK NIGHT, PSYCHO II) Tilly who offers a record scratching, nuclear bomb-drop admonition that unnerves straight to the bone. Props to the whole cast (Gabrielle Anwar, Forrest Whitaker, R. Lee Ermey and CHILD’S PLAY 2’s punky Christine Elise all excel) but Tilly really nails it and is downright inimitable.
THE DELIBERATE STRANGER (’86) & TO CATCH A KILLER (’92): Who would have thought two of the greatest (and most frightening) films concerning serial killers would be made for television affairs? The format allows the proceedings ample room to breath and stretch and the added patience in relaying the incidents allows you just that much more time to spend with those involved (for better or worse). In THE DELIBERATE STRANGER usually jovial Mark (yay, SUMMER SCHOOL! Mind over matter!) Harmon portrays slippery charismatic killer Ted Bundy with a straightforward butter wouldn’t melt quality that is remarkably restrained and is all the more disturbing for it. He makes it all to easy to understand why someone might make the fatal mistake of trusting such an individual. It’s a performance that makes the miniseries’ 188 minute runtime fly by and rightfully earned Harmon a Golden Globe nomination (dude shoulda won). 1992’s TO CATCH A KILLER features barrel chested everyman Brian Dennehey as John Wayne Gary and let me tell you, he drags the viewer far far away from the cable staple comforts of FX and FX2 (In fact, I’ll likely never watch those films the same way again)! Dennehey is straight up mortifying as Gacy, the emotionless small business man who sometimes dressed as a clown and sometimes tortured young men to death (thankfully not depicted on screen here) and buried them in the crawlspace under his house. This film makes sure you feel the heartbreak experienced by those who lost loved ones and stokes plenty of frustration in law enforcement and how long it takes some folks to add two and two together. Also on board are two legendary horror heavyweights; Meg Foster is in full LEVIATHAN (’ 89) mode as an icy (those eyes help), bureaucratic attorney who is slow on the obvious uptake and the great Margot Kidder portrays an empathetic psychic (displaying an unusually sad and vulnerable side of herself). Dennehy was nominated for an Emmy for his performance which seems to radiate evil in its purest form at times and honestly, petrified me to my very core.
I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU is a 1998 made for television post-SCREAM slasher based on the book GALLOWS HILL by our old pal Lois Duncan (SUMMER OF FEAR, I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER, KILLING MR. GRIFFIN) that did not make much of a dent in the world even though it stars the likes of Sarah Chalke, PUNKY BREWSTER herself Soleil Moon Frye, Ben frickin’ Foster, Neve Campbell’s bro Christian and the ever remarkable late Markie Post. Chalke plays Sarah Zolttanne a confirmed outsider who is new to a small town with a shameful history who may or may not be a descendent of a disgruntled witch who was once burned at the stake and (as one does while being burned at the stake) cursed the town and particularly the lineage of all who thought it was somehow acceptable to LIGHT HER ON FIRE based on rumors and unsubstantiated hearsay (oh, will small-minded, spiteful townspeople never learn?). I’m gonna guess this flick is a far cry from what Duncan had in mind but it’s tons of fun, makes for a nostalgic time capsule, sports surprisingly stylish direction and has a killer dream sequence. And again, above all else, features Markie Post.
WISHCRAFT (2002) is yet another SCREAM-wannabe and what it lacks in logic and artistry it makes up for with a surprising level of all around weirdness. It’s quite the odd blend of slasher mystery (complete with creative kills), quippy jokes that never land and moralistic supernatural horror. I’m a little ashamed to admit that I guessed the identity of the killer completely wrong but the revelation is a satisfying one and the resulting showdown is amusing and nicely done. Michael Weston (CHERRY FALLS) has the honor of playing a character named Brett Bumpers a high school nerd with eyes for a gal named Samantha (Alexandra Holden of the impeccably awesome DEAD END (2003)) who is (we’re told) very much out of his league. No problem, because he also recently received a mummified bull penis anonymously through the mail that grants him three wishes (yes, you read that right). Anyone who has ever seen a WISHMASTER movie (or THIS "Time for Timer" short) knows that there is tons of room for error, and deliberate misinterpretation when dealing with granted wishes but don’t worry, this corny movie is really more about Brett realizing that Samantha digs him even without help from an anonymously acquired bull penis that grants wishes (romantic, right?). Nothing ever seems to properly gel or mesh in this movie and its tonally all over the place for sure but it boasts a few familiar faces (Michael “Meat Loaf” Aday, Alice “Miss DePesto” Beasley, character actor extraordinaire Sam McMurray and the great Austin Pendleton) and I have to give it credit for adding some eccentricity, offbeat charm and even a few surprises to an all too familiar template.
CUPID (’97) & PSYCHIC (’91): While recently re-visiting WAXWORK (’88) and its followup WAXWORK II: LOST IN TIME (’92) I realized I had regrettably not done the best job of keeping up with the genre work of underused legend Zachery Wolfe Galligan, he of GREMLINS (’84), GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH (’90) and perhaps even WARLOCK: THE ARMAGEDDON (’93) fame. It’s possible I overcorrected by committing myself to a impromptu Zach-attack double feature that included his violent valentine CUPID (which also stars HELLRAISER’s lovely Ashley Laurence and would be J.R Ewing assassin Mary Crosby) and the made-for-cable thriller THE PSYCHIC (with the always welcome Catherine Mary Stewart (NIGHT OF THE COMET (’84) and FLASHDANCE (’84) alumnus Michael Nouri) which was directed by George MY BLOODY VALENTINE (’81) Mihalka and seems to include the college campus from BLACK CHRISTMAS (’74) (I could be wrong but it makes sense due to it being made in Canada). Watching these two back to back may have been a bad idea because they sorta blended together in my mind even though Zach plays a psychopathic murderer with an incestuous relationship in the former and an affable fellow with premonitions who tries to thwart a murderer in the latter. Neither jaunt is much to write home about but both are pretty painless diversions. I'm going to give the edge to CUPID for featuring a campy turn from Crosby and several scenes involving a quaint used book store.
PHANTASM II (1988): I was born and bred on the original PHANTASM and have seen it so many times that I think I confuse it with my own childhood. Not so its sequel which I enjoy but always left me with the feeling that it was somehow fraudulent by being doused in Hollywood gloss and switching the actor who portrays its main protagonist. Something about james Lagross’ lantern jaw blondness felt like a betrayal at the time but knowing now years later that he’s a bit of a weirdo himself makes the alteration a bit easier to swallow (the fact that subsequent sequels prove Baldwin’s presence isn’t exactly an automatic fix-all soothes tensions as well). In any case, recently acquiring the movie on VHS has made it eligible for my heavy rotation pile and in a strange way its apocalyptic atmosphere and chronically morbid demeanor somehow perfectly cut paths with my present mood. I’ve always found something hypnotic about road movies even though I don’t drive and can only relate as a passive passenger) and somehow I find PHANTASM II’s dreamy/nightmarish cemetery filled desolate hellscape somehow relaxing and even lulling. Obviously there’s a heavy effort apparent to shoehorn the PHANTASM universe into the then highly lucrative ELM STREET box (much like how the tall man’s minions are compressed) but it’s not a bad fit at all as both series rely heavily on surrealism and a bossy supernatural baddie with powers limited only to the writer’s imagination. If nothing else, in comparing the original PHANTASM to this late out of the gate sequel, you really couldn’t find a better illustration of the vast difference between seventies and eighties film, especially in the realm of horror.
I need help with two movies that I watched as a child in the 1970s.
The first one is about a family who moves out of their house. The son appears to be against it or the parents die. He stays in the house alone. When the new owners move in, he takes refuge in a secret room underneath or behind a staircase. Eventually the owners realize that there is an intruder living among them. In the final scene, he is dragged away in handcuffs by the police.
The second is a movie about a mad scientist. Most of the time he out and about seeking victims or rather patients. The experiment is seemingly about placing a neck band on women. If they don't perform to his expectation it is tightened to the point of death, and, decapitation. The end is about his love interest being decapitated and how he expresses his utter loss by holding her head in his embrace. This movie was more along the lines of the Hammer production movies of the time.
Please let me if I dreamed this or if they are in fact worthy of rescreening.
— Luis
UNK SEZ: I've got you covered on the first one, Luis! That Intruder hiding in the house has got to be the Kindertrauma classic BAD RONALD ('74)! It's definitely worth re-screening and you can read a full review HERE! As for the second one involving the decapitated head, I'm confident one of our wise readers might know the answer to that one!
I realize reading about the latest “game gone wrong” horror movie may be about as appealing as watching it or writing about it, so my apologies in advance. I just feel compelled to leave a written bread crumb trail for my future self because on a few occasions I have excitedly googled a movie only to find out I had written about it previously and had completely forgot about it. So here I am, leaving this flag in the sand to let myself know that TAROT though not without some merit, is mostly a vaporous generic slog. Although its plot isn’t that different from last year’s excellent (and surprisingly fresh) TALK TO ME, (not to mention jaunts like STAY ALIVE (’06), OUJIA, TRUTH OR DARE and a slew of others, including perhaps guiltiest of all, JUMANJI) this particular cursed young folk flick lacks the spark to be truly memorable.
TAROT (which is theoretically based on a non-supernatural slasher-esque YA horror novel called HORRORSCOPE by Nicholas Adams) concerns a group of pals (complete with comic sidekick) who while searching for alcohol in a rented mansion (you all can afford renting a mansion but no hooch?), discover a deck of strange, apparently hand-made tarot cards. Resident horoscope aficionado Haley (Harriet Slater) reads the group’s futures and thereby hexes them with personality appropriate tragic fates. I have to admit, I found myself a bit excited by the rogues gallery of monsters depicted on the cards as they reminded me of my boos the NEON MANIACS (’86) but sadly as groovily gruesome as the creatures may appear (hats off to the make up/effects crew) they uniformly offer only screaming close-ups as their peak intimidation which gets old and annoying fast. As a proponent of quality PG-13 rated horror and a believer in its potential effectiveness, I gotta say lack of imagination seems more the cause of the film’s overall neutered nature than its rating. On the plus side, TAROT consistently looks atmospheric n’ gothy, sports a likable enough cast and might even be a fun, rote distraction at a teen slumber party; it’s just too bad that checking the boxes and going through the motions seems to be this attractive yet vapid film’s most inescapable curse.
I’m not as devoted to Bryan Bertino’s now-classic THE STRANGERS as some. I’ve heard from many friends that it absolutely terrified them to a mentally scaring degree but for some reason a part of my brain could never fully buy what it was selling. That said, I do admit that the “because you were home” remark is one of the greatest lines ever spoken in the history of horror film. Strangely enough though, I’m absolutely smitten over its audacious sequel THE STRANGERS: PREY AT NIGHT and find its over-stylized (and then some), broad stroked neon, flippant flamboyance mesmerizing and relish soaking in its haunting, isolated late night setting and absolutely shameless indulgence in awesome eighties’ tunes. Johannes Robert’s fashionably late (10 years) follow-up rings all my bells by forcibly steering the straightforward home invasion flick into pure unadulterated cult-y slash-a-thon territory. It’s a brilliant stroke in my book that I’ll never stop applauding and what a great springboard it could have been for a third, trilogy making film that conceivably might push the artsy outlandishness even further!
Except no, as my shoelace once said “I’m a frayed knot”. Instead, the board has been erased and we’re back to square one (or perhaps zero) with THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER ONE a movie that intends to kickoff a new trilogy by covering half the ground the original did. Well, you might be saying at least the sometimes fantastic (LONG KISS GOODNIGHT), sometimes reliable NIGHTMARE 4, DIE HARD 2, DEEP BLUE SEA) but let’s face it, non-miracle worker (snooze-fest THE EXORCIST: THE BEGINNING ) Renny Harlan is behind the wheel. It’s probably too soon to say if Harlan can pull this three part serial off but as possible as it may be (isn’t my Pollyanna optimism annoying?), I’m afraid the future does not look bright so hold off on wearing those shades. CHAPTER ONE feels like a shaky, stammering, stalling lurch with close to nothing on its mind. It’s almost like a Cliff notes version of the original but with many of the already abridged pages missing. Harlan does deliver a few frightening moments but they’re sort of unavoidable in the flick’s DNA anyway. There are a few absolutely killer shots of the bag-headed scarecrow faced ringleader stalking ominous woods like a force of nature but they seem designed for T-shirts and magnets at Hot Topic more than striking genuine fear. Will I see CHAPTER TWO? Yes, of course, provided I’m alive, my curiosity will probably get the better of me but damn, even the “Because you were home” line I was pre-sold on somehow gets mangled into the mundane here.
Hey, maybe these newfangled horror movies just aren’t created with oldsters like me in mind and I should just stay home! Turns out yes, that is not a bad idea because I also recently watched 1988’s THE BRAIN and felt like a dying plant being watered. Edward (BLOODY BIRTHDAY) Hunt directed this Canadian sci-fi/horror film that stars David (RE-ANIMATOR) Gale (who once again looses his head), Tom Bresnahan (TWICE DEAD, MIRROR MIRROR and most importantly, SKI SCHOOL) and Cynthia Preston (of the excellent PIN). This baby is Christmas themed, filled with ELM STREET-style surrealism and leans into the gooey practical effects. In this fine film, a literal giant head from another planet teams up with your everyday mad scientist-type lunatic to brainwash a small-town and then eventually, the world. It’s exactly the paranoid fifties-flavored tale told through wacky eighties eyes of a malignant mutation with sights set on world domination that I guess I needed. You’re likely to observe shades of everything from THE BLOB and THE STUFF to INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS and HALLOWEEN 3: SEASON OF THE WITCH with plenty of mirroring toward TERRORVISION thrown in. Funnily enough though, I do believe I caught this movie back in my video store days and didn’t care for its goofy nature or the random flashy inserts of the titular creature who resembles a discontinued marauding Madball. In other words, giving a film a second chance sometimes pays off big time so maybe there’s stiff hope for the aforementioned recent titles TAROT and STRANGERS: CHAPTER ONE after all. You never know (Ignore that noise. I’m just trying to close on an upbeat note)!
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