kindertrauma

Author: aunt john

Name That Trauma :: Reader Paul B. on a Roof Busting Beast

Posted on By aunt john

I just returned from Florida and during the Universal Horror Make-Up Show they showed a compilation of special effects from horror throughout the decades, one clip in particular caught my attention and would like to find out which film it's from.

It was only 5 seconds long but it had a monster/vampire similar to the monster from TOBE HOOPER's THE FUNHOUSE, he had broken through the roof of a house and was trying to get to someone on the roof (I think)….I'd be impressed if this one is solved.

Many thanks,

Paul B.



UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Per Paul, "Judging by the video it looks like ARMY OF DARKNESS (my least watched of the EVIL DEAD films). The 3 seconds when I was in the audience obviously wasn't enough to register with my brain. A shame, I was hoping it was some unseen gem." So kudos to UNK and thanks to Jergy for the assist!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Crudeman C. on a Phantom Prospector & a Japanese Jungle

Posted on By aunt john

I have two vivid memories of being scared to the point of trauma by something seen on T.V. as a child. I am 42 and believe I was probably about 3 when I witnessed these, so we're talking around 1970-71.

The first image is an animated sequence which featured a phantom prospector in a ghostly covered wagon. The wagon was attached to skeletal horses, and I believe the prospector may have been a skeleton as well. The animation was pretty stylized and cartoonish, but what REALLY creeped me out was the voice of the prospector and horses, which had a haunting echoing quality.

The second image I think may have been from a Japanese horror film. A group of soldiers are walking single file through a jungle setting. The soldiers pass under a tree and as the last one passes beneath it, a snake, vine, or tentacle comes down and wraps around his throat, strangling him.

I've carried these images burned into my mind for almost 40 years, but have never been able to figure out what they're from.

Traumafessions :: Reader Ariel on The Ankle Grabber & The Flat Man

Posted on By aunt john

Okay, so I was a pretty sensitive child and got scared easily, so when my school librarian decided to read a couple scary stories to my elementary class during library time, it wasn't going to end well.

The two stories that traumatized me beyond belief were "The Ankle Grabber," and "The Flat Man," both by Rose Impey. They are two books in a series called "Creepies" and boy are they ever. The following stories are actually supposed to make children feel better about monsters (because the children in the stories are always just imagining them and the monsters are always defeated in the end) but they had the opposite effect on me.

The Ankle Grabber was about a young child who was convinced that there was a monster under her bed. This monster was the Ankle Grabber, and he lived in a swamp that existed under the bed. If you ever looked, he could camoflague it to look like ground, but when you weren't looking it was a horrid sticky mess of a place. The Ankle Grabber lived for one thing: to pull you under the bed and into his swamp. He'd do this by, obviously, grabbing your ankles with his long, bony fingers and pulling you under. His hands were so strong that once he got a hold of you, there was no hope.

The only good thing was that he was stuck there. He could reach up the side of you bed, but if you stayed in the middle, or pressed up against the wall (if your bed was against a wall as mine was) he couldn't reach you. However, the Ankle Grabber was sneaky. In order to lure you closer so he could reach you, he would drag some of your toys or socks closer to the bed, so when you would go to get them – BAM! – you'd be his. This explains why missing socks are always found underneath the bed…

I didn't take this well.

Every night for years (I did it right up into my teens) I would take a running leap into my bed, so my feet would never be susceptible to the Ankle Grabber's long fingers. Whenever I wanted to get into my mom's bed – same thing. A huge running leap, and then landing with a crash onto the bed. The only bed in the house that was safe was my brother's. At the time, he had a wooden bed with drawers for storage underneath. He had no space under his bed, and therefore, had no Ankle Grabber Swamp. How I envied him. Even to this day, I feel uncomfortable with my feet resting beside my bed.

The other story, "The Flat Man" Is about a young boy who likes to imagine that the sounds he hears in the night are a monster called the Flat Man. The tapping at the window? You think it's tree branches, but no. It's the Flat Man tapping, trying to get in. The chugging of a train far off? Nope. It's the Flat Man squeezing himself through the cracks, whispering, "You can't keep me out…" He can even get under the covers! The Flat Man is a creepy character who sneaks his way into your room and then…well I'm not sure. I suppose he "gets you". Whatever that means. Anyway, you can defeat him by shining a light at him, and he crumples up like a ball of paper and blows away in the breeze.

He's not quite as scary at the Ankle Grabber, but that's when I started sleeping with a nightlight. And a flashlight. Also extra batteries in case my flashlight died.

Now you'll excuse me as I curl up in a corner and cry.

Cheers,

Ariel

Carrie (Brat Productions)

Posted on By aunt john

Historically, theater and your dear old Aunt John have had a rocky relationship. Admittedly, I have the attention span of a gnat doing the backstroke in bongwater and the prospect of sitting in a captive position without a regulated commercial break, whereby I can catch a smoke, escalates my innate fidgetiness. I am the last person you want to watch a DVD with if you require absolute silence (UNK SEZ: for serious!) or, moreover, drag to a play. I have walked out on more theatrical productions at intermission than I can recall — 'cause that's I how roll — and yeah, I'm looking at you TOMMY.

That said, I had some personal reservations when I read that local theater company BRAT was mounting a production of CARRIE, a comedy by ERIK JACKSON, based on the novel by STEPHEN KING. And by personal reservations, I mean could I sit still long enough without embarrassing or otherwise raising the ire of Unkle Lancifer?

Well dear readers, after last night's outing, I am happy to say that I sat completely enraptured, when I wasn't comprising my bladder control from laughing, and I did not once give your Unk pause to pretend to not know me. More importantly though, stop whatever it is that you are doing, you have got to go see this stage version of CARRIE! I don't care where you live… now is the time to visit Philadelphia, so get your ass on the BoltBus or JetBlue, and see this chestnut before the final curtain drops on November 7th.

Seriously, I could care less about the Tonys, but if I had the power to be kingmaker and give out such awards, this whole cast gets gold stars. LEAH WALTON steals every last scene in her PIPER LAURIE as channeled by ANDREA MARTIN interpretation of Carrie's kooky mom Margaret White. She does meet her match head on at a poorly attended Tupperware Party (the rapid-fire ‘70s references abounding in this play are beyond awesome) when COLLEEN CORCORAN shows up as Carrie's concerned gym teacher, Miss Gardner. CORCORAN is so on her A-Game as she puts Carrie's bullies (Chris Hargensen, et al.) through what could best be described as a jazzercise showdown.

The play cleverly mashes up the classic novel with the ingenious film and yet has enough of its own gumption to throw in a couple of elements all its own. The music is amazing and the timing on the "Carrie" cue in a certain KANSAS song is beyond impressive. The occasionally wonky special effects don't stand a chance in hell… they are stomped on by the fearless and improvisation-ready cast. Expect more hilarity than horror. If you haven't figured out what makes this archetypal tale a permanent go-to, the message is spelled out for you before the curtain closes. Individuality is a gift not a curse. Go BRAT and go CARRIE… it is a SNELL of a good time!

Traumafessions :: Reader Carmie on the Giorgio Moroder's "Chase Theme" from Midnight Express

Posted on By aunt john

Hello there, love your website!

If you ever have room for this, the one thing that EVER scared me when I was a child (who was frequently taken to see horror films at the drive-in and walk-in) was Giorgio Moroder's "Chase Theme" from MIDNIGHT EXPRESS. I was four at the time, and that damn song was all over the radio, and I mean in heavy rotation. What made things worse was that I used to sleep with the radio on! It never occurred to me to turn the radio off, but then again, I was only four. Of all the things to be afraid of. At least I wasn't afraid of CHER's "Believe."

That dishonor goes to my little brother, who was born twelve years later.

Cheers,

Carmie

Kinder-Editorial :: Kinderpal Erczilla on the Death of Blockbuster Video & the Awesomeness of Evil Dead 2

Posted on By aunt john

I come to both bury Blockbuster Video and faintly praise it. With Blockbuster Video filing for bankruptcy protection, it signals the final nail in the coffin of brick and mortar video stores. Blockbuster itself signaled the end of the greatest video stores of all, the mom and pop owned video store.

My appreciation of all things horror was heavily influenced by the gamble that was picking out a video off of the shelves of the local video store. The proprietors hardly had a clue of the deviance and insanity contained inside some of their tapes. Often the artwork would creatively disguise the crapfest one was about to rent, as in the case of RETURN TO HORROR HIGH or BLACK ROSES. The best moments were when one was able to mine through the stacks of slasher movies and ALIEN rip offs and discover a movie that would rock your socks off.

My older sister and I had such a moment when we picked up EVIL DEAD 2 off of the shelf of our local video store. The store was actually a gutted, double-wide trailer that reeked of mold and old newspapers and the poorly made shelves lined the wood paneled walls. There was a rickety old fashioned bar door that separated the normal videos from the porn tapes. The horror and science fiction tapes were of course very close to that rickety bar door. The store was the perfect mixture of sleaze and low rent cheesiness.

The video box cover with a smooth skull with intact eyes and the three star review from non other than ROGER EBERT were all it took to convince me. The experience was like no other and it shaped my taste in movies from then on. It was one of the only movies that I can recall rewinding and watching from the beginning just as soon as the credits started rolling.

When I heard that Blockbuster was going to open up a store in my small northern New Mexico town, I could hardly wait for it. The reality was rather disappointing. The small horror section was filled with popular mainstream titles and edited versions of movies that I had already seen. The mom and pop stores started to close one by one and took all the magic and mystery with them.

Netflix and streaming video is king now and I certainly appreciate them, but lost is the tactile experience of picking up the video box and being scared and titillated at the same time. If you don't like a movie now, you can just click on a new title to stream or mail back your DVD and get a new one in about a day. If you made a bad choice with a video rental you had it for two days and had to beg your parents to let you go back and get a new one before the weekend was over! No one will be traumatized by having to keep TROLL and GHOULIES for an entire weekend anymore.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Callum S. on a Otherworldly Oddity

Posted on By aunt john

Ahoy! I'm a big fan of the site. I've got a Name That Trauma to pose to you, but it's pretty obscure.

I remember watching T.V. when I was off sick from school, early- to mid-‘90s. Here in the U.K., BBC2 and Channel 4 used to show a block of children's educational programmes on weekday mornings, when the majority of kids were at school, so catching these shows on transmission was a bit of a rarity.

One of these shows featured images which have haunted me in their vague nightmarishness ever since.

It seemed to be your basic E.T. plot – a group of ragtag kids rallying round an otherworldly character to keep it secret from adults. The being in question was a child-sized figure dressed in a ragged, patchwork robe of some kind. It didn't have a face. No eyes, ears, nose, mouth – just a smooth beige head with mannequin-like indentations. As such, it couldn't speak. Despite its inability to see, I remember it moving its head slowly from left to right, as if checking that the coast was clear, before moving slowly down a hallway accompanied by its young companions. I believe the kids also had some sort of treehouse or clubhouse where this horrifying creature was kept.

Although it was shown in the U.K., I think it was made in the U.S. or Canada. I'm guessing it was made in the early ‘90s; the tone and production values were somewhat reminiscent of GHOSTWRITER. No idea of the title.

Any ideas, guys?

Name That Trauma :: Reader Nicki on Deeds Done Good

Posted on By aunt john

Hello,

Wondering if anyone knows what my middle school trauma was:

In home economics, when there was a substitute teacher, the class had to watch a video about doing good deeds. There was a creepy ass, CYNDI LAUPER meets SHELLEY DUVALL-type woman with a super screechy voice who was supposed to teach children who had stolen something out of a store (I think they stole jewelry) to do good deeds. She keeps magically appearing with this device called a "Deedio" and keeps singing this song with the lyrics, "Turn on the Deedio and do good deeeeeeeeds!"

If anyone knows what this video is, please let me know! That woman was super scary! This has been driving both me and my brother crazy for the past 8 years or so trying to figure out what it is. Plus that damn song still gets plastered in my brain after all these years.

Thanks!

—Nicki