kindertrauma

Author: aunt john

Trog

Posted on By aunt john

trog!

Admittedly, your Aunt John has a relatively high tolerance for sub-par films, especially if the movie features an Oscar winning actress at the end stage of a long career, forced to work overseas with a heinous script opposite children, animals, or monsters. Honestly, there's nothing I enjoy more than a train-wreck of a movie, and in theory, I should have fallen crazy in love with director FREDDIE FRANCIS' infamous dud TROG, but sometimes even I have my limits.

trog!

Featuring silver screen legend JOAN CRAWFORD in her last cinematic outing, TROG kicks off with a trio of strapping spelunkers who stumble ass backwards over a pre-historic creature living in subterranean solitude somewhere in the English countryside. The misunderstood monster attacks, the townspeople get all in a tizzy, and an angry mob gathers. Enter respected anthropologist Dr. Braxton (CRAWFORD), who clearly wears the pantsuit in this hamlet. She basically swoops in with her tranquilizer gun, pumps the poorly made-up monster with sleepy-time darts, and then drags it back to her eponymous lab for further study.

trog!

Back at lab, CRAWFORD reminds us how she won that Oscar for MILDRED PIERCE by busting out her trademark, put upon reaction shots followed by bursts of volatile explosiveness when anyone crosses her. Weathering the brunt of hurricane JOAN is the titular Trog, who seems more terrified of CRAWFORD throughout the film than she is of him.

Aside from her occasional howls, CRAWFORD brings little else to the table. The film is set in England, and she can't even muster up the energy to do a British accent. And it's not like it is explained that she is some sort of ex-pat working abroad, for nothing in this movie is even remotely plausible. MICHAEL GOUGH tries to bring friction as the religious yin to CRAWFORD's scientific yang, but even he seems a tad relieved to be done with the film when Trog dispatches with him. The film just meanders along, cutting and pasting a poorly made pastiche of the most boring elements of THE MIRACLE WORKER, INHERIT THE WIND, and FRANKENSTEIN.

trog!

Okay, I take it back about the FRANKENSTEIN scenes where Trog escapes the lab and runs amok in the town flipping cars, murdering shopkeepers, terrorizing small children, and kidnapping a small girl. This montage is straight up hysterical! Sadly, it all comes a little too late to compensate for the insufferable courtroom drama sub-plot where JOAN takes the stand to defend science against religion. If the director had left that hot mess on the cutting room floor, and ramped up the scenes of the beast man going berserk, TROG could have been a B-movie classic instead of pitiful end note to CRAWFORD's cinematic legacy.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Rose J. on Another Raggedy Ann Cameo

Posted on By aunt john

Hi,

Thanks for the help with my last question! I tracked down a copy of A TASTE OF EVIL and it was the movie I was remembering! I thought it was great and I was reminded of another Raggedy Ann scene that stuck in my head, where the doll's eye is hanging by a thread from its face. I don't know if it was part of the opening credits. Apparently there were a number of traumatic scenes involving Raggedy Ann in the '70s? Any clues to this one?

Thanks,

Rose J.

UNK SEZ: I have not a clue on this, but I will state that Raggedy Ann is a menace to society. Did you know that little trouble maker appeared in the very first Kindertrauma post EVER? I say, something about that doll just ain't right. In fact, I found out she has a very traumatic origin story which can be read HERE. Plus, check out THIS GHOST STORY featuring the dreaded R.A. What more evidence do we need that Raggedy Anne is all types of loco?

Traumafessions :: Reader FatherOfTears on Roddy McDowall as Satan

Posted on By aunt john

Well, I grew up knowing the legend RODDY McDOWALL as an ape in the whole PLANET OF THE APES movie series and that short lived T.V. show from the mid '70s. I rarely saw him without makeup. I did see him on a T.V. showing of THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE and I heard his distinct voice in a few cartoons. But asides from that I only knew him as Cornelius and Galen.

Then came his two appearances in FANTASY ISLAND as Satan. Oh boy! VERY creepy! Here I am used to him being the good ape and now he's the scary Devil! Asides from the end sequences of the two episodes he wore no makeup and wore a suit and look VERY convincing! Now, these clips are not out on DVD as of now. The first one is out on YouTube as a "minisode"…

O.K., I would see him again a bit later in LASERBLAST both in its original form and on MST3K, but his Devil was a good scary moment in my early teens!

Kinder-Flix :: Reader Turnidoff Presents DEMON DOLL

Posted on By aunt john

Hi!

I figured you guys might get a kick out of a home movie I did back in 1997 called DEMON DOLL!

I got my eight-year-old daughter to act in it and it's basically your standard "Girl finds doll, doll comes alive and tries to kill girl, girl kills doll with shotgun" type of story.

I don't think it "traumatized" her back then(she seemed pretty bored with her Dad telling her where to move and act) but, it might NOW that it's out in the public and she's 19. I'm so cruel.

Here's part 1:

Here's part 2:

and here's the action packed sequel!:

Name That Trauma :: Reader Nicholas L. on a Scarecrow Snitch

Posted on By aunt john

I was very young when I saw this, in fact, I have told many people that it is my first memory ever.

It's a scene where a lady and a man are running from a large group of men. This is taking place in the woods (I think). The man and women come to a clearing and hide behind something. They notice a strange looking scarecrow with one eye and I think the eye is slightly looking at them. When the group after them comes to the clearing they are trying to find out which way the couple went. All of a sudden the scarecrow's eyes open wide and there is a ringing sound. I believe the scarecrow is pointing at the man and woman with both arms. The group sees them and the running continues.

To make everything a little more traumatic the scarecrow's face is very monkey-like. Could be a PLANET OF THE APES variation or something, but I have never been able to find it. I don't know what I'd do if you found it, but I know how amazing you are at finding this stuff.

Thanks for your time and efforts!!

UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Thanks to Reader Ab-Normal for solving it with LIVE AND LET DIE.

The Fury

Posted on By aunt john

depalma's the fury

Nothing can really put a damper on some quality father-son bonding time on the beach quite like an assassination attempt. One minute Peter and Robin Sandza (KIRK DOUGLAS & ANDREW STEVENS) are rolling on top of one another, topless in the sandy surf and then, before you can say, "Dad get off me, people are starting to stare!", supposed friend and colleague Ben Childress (JOHN CASSAVETES) orchestrates a failed hit on Peter with a dozen or so men in Iron Sheik regalia wielding Uzis. An army of Arabians with automatic weapons is clearly no match for KIRK DOUGLAS (I mean really, who is?) and he does manage to permanently injure CASSAVETES arm, thus necessitating the use of a dapper, black arm sling for the remainder of the film; however, CASSAVETES makes off with boy wonder Robin, a young man whose flawlessly feathered hair and dashing good looks are only surpassed by his telekinetic powers. CASSAVETES runs one of those unnamed, shadowy government agencies exploring the use of telekinesis as potential super weapon in the quest for world dominance, and STEVENS is the heir apparent to the atomic bomb.
depalma's the fury

Meanwhile, across the globe at an elite private girl's school in Chicago, it is discovered during one of those psychic power presentations that were so prevalent in high schools in the ‘70s that teen Gillian Bellaver (AMY IRVING) can use telekinetic alpha waves to derail a toy train set. More disturbing than her disregard for Lionel locomotives is Gillian's inexplicable ability to cause spontaneous hemorrhaging with the touch of her hand. In the name of science, a parlor trick of this magnitude requires investigation, and IRVING willingly submits to observation and intense study at the Paragon Clinic run by Dr. McKeever (the reliably slimy CHARLES DURNING).
depalma's the fury

At first, everything seems hunky dory at the Paragon Clinic; IRVING becomes fast friends with staff nurse Hester (Unkle Lancifer's undying crush CARRIE SNODGRESS) and two share a smile over ice cream sundaes. Of course, the Paragon Clinic is nothing more than a grooming stable for the aforementioned shadow agency run by CASSAVETES, and before long IRVING starts receiving psychic transmissions from STEVENS who's being studied at some lavish mansion across town under the care of Dr. Susan Charles (FIONA LEWIS, or as I like to call her, the poor-man's SAMANTHA EGGAR).
depalma's the fury

In one of those "It's a small world after all" plot points, DOUGLAS resurfaces as SNODGRESS' paramour, and he uses her to get to IRVING to get her to help him get to STEVENS. Does that make sense? Regardless, that's how it plays out in the final act and the reunion of father and son is (SPOILER ALERT!) tragic. IRVING, who spends the bulk of the finale sobbing and being (how do I put this delicately?) an all around spaz, delivers one of the most explosively ecstatic final girl scenes, firmly securing her place on Aunt John's short list of cine-magical moment makers (full list to follow one of these days):


Directed by the once genius BRIAN DePALMA, THE FURY is well worth a lookie-loo. Watching it for the first time today, your Aunt John was fully expecting the trademark DePALMA split-screen camera tricks that dominated his earlier works SISTERS and CARRIE. And don't get me wrong; I am a huge fan of the way he does it, no one does it better. Surprisingly, this never happened in THE FURY and I have to commend him for the innovative (at the time) sequence involving IRVING and DURNING on the stairwell of the Paragon Clinic. Nowadays such things would be shot using C.G.I, and I did hit the pause button to see if there was that telltale green-screen line around IRVING's figure, but I couldn't see it. Also, DePALMA gets major points in my book for effectively utilizing a musical score to manipulate the tension during pivotal action sequences. Case in point, IRVING's escape, with the help of SNODGRESS, from the Paragon Clinic (Note to UNK: Do Not Watch THIS!). Mad props to you Mr. DePALMA for creating another cinematic chestnut, but to quote JANET JACKSON, "What have you done for me lately?" And this not to say that he owes me anything, but did anyone really make it through BLACK DAHLIA satisfied? Really?

Name That Trauma :: Reader Ritrat8 on a Man Made Into a Balloon

Posted on By aunt john

Hi, my name is ritrat8.

I had accidentally watched something traumatic one night. It involved a woman and a man, and the man kept repeating what the woman said, so the woman said something around the lines of, "I will break every bone in your body!"

The man was about to repeat what she said, when she does just that, and the man flies around the room like a popped balloon.

Does this sound familiar?

AUNT JOHN SEZ: I have no idea what this movie is, but it sure does put me in the mood for some Robyn Hitchcock & the Egyptians:

UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Ritrat8 figured it out! The balloon man in question comes from A SIMPLE WISH:

Name That Trauma :: Reader Curtis D. on a Trio of Traumatizers

Posted on By aunt john

Over the years with the help of Internet, etc., I've been able to track down early memories of movies. But there are three instances that I can't figure out.

1. My earliest memory of watching a movie at the drive in was at age 5, seeing the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE; it was a double feature with BIG BAD MAMA. Sometime around the same time, 1974, I remember seeing a movie that showed a cliff with dolls or dolls' heads being thrown over it. Also in the same movie I remember a killer lurking outside of a house that had several women inside lounging. The biggest impression was the dolls heads going over the cliff. I have yet to figure out what movie this is.

2. My other memory could be a T.V. movie, so bear with me. It had scenes of a man digging in the yard during a thunderstorm or he was making a woman dig in the yard. The other scene I remember from the same movie had the woman in an upstairs room or attic and it's dark and she runs into, or was scared of, one of those half mannequins used to tailor dresses.

3. And now the third movie I believe I saw late one night on T.V. It had to do with a girls school and the head mother was keeping her dead son in the attic and she was killing the girls or trying to make one of them her dead son's girlfriend. It wasn't set in the ‘80s or even the ‘70s; it felt older than that.

Any help on these would be greatly appreciated…

Thank you.

Curtis D.

UNK SEZ:: Curtis, the first two you mentioned have me stumped but I think I may know the third. It sounds a lot like 1969's THE HOUSE THAT SCREAMED (A.K.A. LA RESIDENCIA) a great movie that used to be shown on ELVIRA's MOVIE MACABRE (You can actually watch it on HULU HERE.) Let us know if that's the one!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Mathew M. on Kung Fu Vampires

Posted on By aunt john

There is a film I watched in the mid ‘80s on the USA network, so it was probably on Commander USA's Groovie Movies. My memories of it are not too strong, but I think it was a vampire/martial arts flick or vampire circus flick. Now, I know that both of those types of movies aired on the network at that time, so even that might not even be correct.

What I do know for certain: There was a fighting sequence that took place in a (saloon, church, circus? not really sure) that involved throwing someone over a banister on a stairwell and jumping and landing directly on their stomach, forcing what seemed like lots of blood to come out of their mouth. This image has stayed with me my entire life.

The memory of this action sequence is what leads me to believe that there were martial arts involved in this horror film. I know this could not be any more vague, but please help me!

Love your site!

Mathew