Author: aunt john
Name That Trauma :: Reader Phibes on a Magnet Shy Film Freak
Okay….I saw this one back in the early to mid ‘80s. It was either on HBO or Cinemax and it was a short film. This guy is sitting in an office; I'm assuming that he is some kind of filmmaker as there is a reel of film on his desk. The reel begins unspooling and chasing the man, kind of like THE BLOB only made of movie film. He gets himself locked into a closet where he finds a magnet and as the film tries to get into the room, he sticks the magnet on it and it shies away. Eventually is gets in and wraps the man completely from head to toe in the film. He flails about for a bit and is devoured by the film, ala THE BLOB. At the very end we see the film spooling itself back onto the reel and that's the end. I've been trying to find out what this is for years but to no avail. Please Unk, you are my only hope.
UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! The flesh-eating film is featured in the 1975 short RECORDED LIVE. Special thanks to Reader Eric Harvey for solving it.
Name That Trauma :: Reader Andyboy on a Killer Kitchen
Holy smokes… what a website. It's nothing short of genius that you thought to create a place where people could share the one very special thing that they all have in common…. terrifying childhood trauma.
Here's my mystery trauma. When I was around six or seven years old (late '70s) I remember seeing a small portion of a film that haunts me to this day. All I remember is that there was a very fat, bald, British man, possibly with a monocle, who may or may not have been investigating a crime. The scene that has stuck with me is a man walking into an industrial grade kitchen (the kind you may find in a hotel) that has been shut down for the night. With most of the lights off, he notices the red glow of one of the ovens which should not have been on. He opens the door, and a woman's arm tips and falls out. Yikes. Here are some other quick notes:
- The oven was not close to the ground, but rather at eye level. I think.
- I believe there was a hard cut from that scene to a shot of something resembling the U.N. Assembly. I distinctly remember flags and a very large room.
- I recall the British man having a vague resemblance to JOHN HOUSEMAN only much larger. He was also rather feminine.
- I don't believe this movie was a horror. I'm certain that it was a thriller in the vain of AGATHA CHRISTIE. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if it was somehow related to her writings.
Any help would be largely appreciated, people! I'm more than ready to put this one to bed.
Thanks,
Andyboy
UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Kudos to Reader EegahInc for solving it with WHO IS KILLING THE GREAT THE CHEFS OF EUROPE?
Traumafessions :: Reader Nicki M. on Welcome to the Dead House
When I was around six, I was obsessed with the Goosebumps series by R.L. Stein. (Mostly the movies, as I couldn't read well at the time). One of the first of the Goosebumps movies I ever saw was one of the scariest and most traumatic moments of my young life. It was enclosed in a creepy little VHS tape with an almost AMITYVILLE HORROR-style house on it with the words "Welcome to Dead House" written above it.
I don't remember the plot very well (it WAS 9 years ago, after all) but it was something about this family who moves into a house and the neighbors start acting weird, and then something about burning a wreath. I dunno. I do know that this movie scarred me in ways neither me nor my parents would have expected.
Even now, 15, a freshman in high school, my Dad has to close the windows for me at night and shoo the rabbits out from under my bed (I let them out to run, they like to hide under there) because I am terrified of bending down to look. I have been totally petrified of horror movies and scary pictures to this day (even reading your site has induced some heart-jumps) and I can owe it all to that wonderful story about zombies and some stupid rotting wreath.
Traumafessions :: Reader Carol on Darby O'Gill & The Little People
Wow, where to begin….
My big trauma as a kid took place at a drive in. There were five of us kids, all cousins and routinely, my mom and aunt would pile us into a an old tank of a station wagon, and take us to the Disney Films as they came out. I guess I was about 6 or 7, anyways, they took us to see DARBY O'GILL AND THE LITTLE PEOPLE. The movie was harmless enough and, as kids do, we would climb over the seats bouncing around to the light music.
I liked cute King O'Brien and Katey Darlin, but then it happened… the storm started up and all of a sudden is there is what seems to be a huge horse that takes on a ghostly looking cast.
"She's chasing a pooka," is what I believe what Darby said as his daughter chased off after her horse into the crags the Irish moors. The five of us kids all screamed at the same time and I hurled myself into the very back of the car and hid under a blanket. I peeked out just in time to see the most horrifying ghost looking thing, wailing and screaming on the screen… the "Banshee."
This was too much to bear. I tore out of the car, in my Dr. Dentons, running to the safety of the playground. I guess I thought the swings could save me. To this day, I don't like the word, or the sounds of that hideous wail. What was supposed to be a sweet little people movie turned, for me, into a tale of horror!
And, to add insult to injury, my husband and I are going to Ireland this spring, I wanted to go see where the "Banshee" was filmed along with the ruins in the scene. Come to find out the whole movie was shot at Foothill Ranch and/or Albertson Ranch and/or at the Burbank Studios…. guess the Banshee is closer than I think!
AUNT JOHN SEZ: Carol, if it's any consolation, one of my elementary school classmates had an even more visceral reaction to this Disney chestnut!
Name That Trauma :: Reader Kevin on an Office Immersed in the Occult
Hi. I stumbled on your site entirely by accident about 3-4 months ago and have been enjoying it ever since. Friends I recommend it to also like it.
I have a childhood trauma that needs identifying. Any help would be appreciated. This would date from sometime in the 1960s and in my memory it was called THE GHOST BREAKERS and was in black and white. But all I've ever found of that name is the old BOB HOPE scare picture and this ain't that. So it may be an episode of a T.V. show rather than a movie. (In fact IMDB lists an unsold pilot called "Ghostbreakers" which aired in 1967, five years after it was filmed but somehow I think I'd remember that MARGARET HAMILTON was in the one I saw; instead I don't remember any particular cast members. Nor does their synopsis match my memory.)
Anyway, this basically had to do with people who worked for a business concern that were being knocked off. One guy, I think, is strangled when his tie gets caught in an office machine or teletype, or whatever. Stuff like that happens and I believe it appears that the company founder, or prior CEO, or somebody, has come back from the dead and his killing people. Revenge or whatever, I don't remember.
The most vivid scene is a guy late at the office who disrespectfully (or just out of boredom) tosses darts at a portrait of somebody (the old boss man?) and when one sticks in the picture what looks like blood seeps out. (That's what freaked me out as a kid.) So the guy is shocked and decides to get out, but sees some figure in the hallway (same boss guy?) and is frightened so he starts to run and gets to the elevator and steps in — and falls down an empty elevator shaft.
That's all I've got! I'd love some help to either confirm that it is/isn't the program listed on IMDB, or some other movie, or whatever the hell it is.
Thanks!
Kevin
Traumafessions :: Reader Steve G. on Paperhouse
Hey there,
Poking about a bit, it appears you don't have an article yet about PAPERHOUSE. I got a deep little scar from that one a long time back that drove me to buy the film on laserdisc even though I don't have a player. Hasn't made it to DVD so far except overseas, but I see that it's on YouTube. Time to see if it's as disturbing as I recall:
Whoa, yeah.
UNK SEZ: Dear Steve, Thanks for bringing up PAPERHOUSE, a perfect film for the pages of Kindertrauma. I have not seen that one in a while but I remember being impressed with it as well. It was directed by BERNARD ROSE the same guy who delivered one of my all time favorites, CANDYMAN. For those interested, PAPERHOUSE involves a young girl named Anna (CHARLOTTE BURKE) who upon becoming ill begins to draw her way into another world. Whatever she adds to the drawing becomes real in this alternative landscape. This is a good thing when she adds a pal named Marc and a bad thing when she adds her long lost dad. Turns out Dad has a thing for hammers and Anna's dreamworld quickly becomes a nightmare. PAPERHOUSE leans toward psycological fantasy more than horror but there is no denying that Anna's pop is a real figure of menace. PAPERHOUSE is based on a book called MARIANNE DREAMS by CATHERINE STORR which also has a devout fan base. As you pointed out Steve, for the time being PAPERHOUSE can only be viewed on youtube or tracked down on VHS. Too bad Anna can't draw PAPERHOUSE onto DVD!
Kinder-Flix :: Disturbing Strokes
Special thanks to Carrie White Burns in Hell!
Kinder-Taining :: Ain't No Party Like The Baby Party, ‘Cause The Baby Party Don't Stop!
Hello children, Aunt John here with another one of my sure-fire entertaining tips. Normally, when one thinks of a birthday party, certain elements come to mind: balloons, streamers, ice cream cake, pony rides, presents, and even a birthday boy or girl. While all of these are normally involved, I'm here to tell you to start thinking outside of the birthday gift box. You see, as a hostess renowned for nothing but the most lavish and memorable of shing-digs, your Aunt John learned everything there is to know about party throwing from the 1973 classic THE BABY.
Honestly, it doesn't take too much to be a hostess with the mostest, simply follow these ten easy steps:
1. Parties should only be thrown as a cover for taking out your detractors. For example, say you are raising an adult child suffering from irreversible infantilism, and there is a pert-breasted social worker with ulterior motives nipping at your heels, invite her to a party at your house.
2. Go through the usual motions: blow up some balloons, throw some streamers about, stock up the bar, and bake a cake (or to save time, buy a day-old one on the discount rack at your local supermarket). Make your home looks super festive so the target thinks she's at just another birthday party.
3. Get your creepiest male friend (he really needs to wear a fringed suede jacket) to hit on the target. If anything, this will make her extremely uncomfortable and start the necessary pattern of distraction.
4. As hostess, it's incumbent upon you to look your best and surround yourself with the hottest men in the room. Might I suggest donning an animal print metallic tunic, and surrounding yourself with poor-man equivalents of LESLIE NEILSEN and The Big Ragoo. Make sure the target sees how sexy you look.
5. Get one your improbably good-looking daughters to engage the social worker in a friendly game of darts. Thanks to the target's competitive nature this friendly game will keep her eyes off her glass of punch. For added distraction, feel free to hire a TOM BOSLEY impersonator to cheer from the davenpaort.
6. Make yourself the center of attention -- you are the hostess after all -- by luring the LESLIE NEILSEN look-a-like in the pleather coat to the dance floor. Don't be afraid to bust the forbidden, dare I say Lambada style, dance moves!
7. Motion to your other, could-be-hot-but-has-the-weirdest-hair-ever, daughter to spike and switch out the target's glass of punch.
8. Wait for the target to imbibe her freshly laced drink.
9. When the sedative kicks in, quickly escort her from the party, under the guise that you will put her to bed. Take her to the basement and hog-tie her. She will be dealt with later.
10. Head back to the party and get your drink on... you are the hostess after all!
For our more visually oriented readers, please follow these instructions below:
Traumafessions :: Reader Jen P. on Alice in Wonderland (1985)
Here's a good one for you guys! You know what scared the daylights out of me as a kid, and still today? The 1985 made-for-TV version of ALICE IN WONDERLAND, the one with all the celebrities. It was a great movie for kids! Minus the rather disturbing cameo by CAROL CHANNING, wherein she sings about jam and convulses, and even more frighteningly, when she just fucking loses it:
But, come the funk on, people. The movie was appropriate until you took the famed Jabberwocky, the dragon of Wonderland, and SENT IT BACK INTO REAL LIFE IN ALICE'S FREAKING LIVING ROOM. She thinks she's gone back home, and when she gets there, the house is empty. She sees her parents and her cat on the other side of the mirror, and of course, they can't see her. and she starts to read "Jabberwocky," and scary ‘effing music plays, and a giant monster comes into the room!
And if you thought that would be the fortunate end of the Jabberwocky, of course not. He appears yet again as soon as Alice is crowned Queen in Wonderland…this time, in the presence of nutjob CAROL CHANNING. TERRIFYING!
Oh hell, this is STILL my Kindertrauma.