Author: aunt john

I was ten during the summer of 1961.

There was a TV show called 'WAY OUT, a sort of take off on THE TWILIGHT ZONE and OUTER LIMITS. There was an episode about a man who visits a sideshow featuring all kinds of weird displays, such as the fish that changes color-every other month, and a severed woman's head. Stuff like that. The highlight of the sideshow was a woman, chained to a chair with a light bulb for a head. The man stays after the show and the light bulb woman, Cassandra, begins talking to him. As the show progresses he falls in love with her and she convinces him to free her from her chains so they could run away together.

In the final scene, you see a woman in a flowing gown. Her back is to the audience. She is standing in front of the sideshow display, only this time it is a man's body with the light bulb head chained to the chair. She is speaking lovingly to the guy. She turns to face the camera, the severed head has been crudely sewn to her body! The male protagonist obviously having been killed by Cassandra and now has assumed her dreaded spot in the sideshow chair.

The jolt of this final scene haunted me for years.

I only overcame it in grad school when I dated a girl named… Cassandra.

UNK SEZ: Cooch138, thanks for bringing up this show. I had no idea of its existence until you mentioned it. 'WAY OUT aired in 1961 on Saturday nights and lasted for 14 episodes. It was hosted by ROALD DAHL, the mind behind Kindertrauma legends THE WITCHES, CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY and many, many others. As of yet, the series has not found its way onto DVD. You can be sure if it ever does, we'll be covering it on these pages once again.

When I was little, my mom rented a movie for me. It seemed harmless enough. I was all excited and watched it by myself in her bedroom. The movie was ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN. I watched the whole thing, amazingly. I was a little bothered when the dog got killed and went to heaven. I was kind of upset when the dog stole his "life clock" and added more life to it so he could go back to Earth. That just seemed wrong to me. But at the end, he ended up going back to heaven for good, and I just started crying harder than I can even remember.

I don't remember exactly what upset me so much; maybe it was the movie as a whole. I didn't like that the character was murdered. I didn't like the dishonest stuff he did. (I felt like he was cheating God). I didn't like that he went to Heaven in the end.

I just bawled and bawled and I can remember crying and yelling at my mom "WHY DID YOU RENT THIS??? WHY???"

I never saw any of the sequels. I refused to watch the show. It wasn't that it scared me; it just made me incredibly sad. I was a very sensitive little kid. I have not seen that movie since and I still do not want to! I've never even particularly liked DON BLUTH films in general since then.

Movies about dogs: YES!

Movies about dogs dying: NO!

(I'm glad I've never seen OLD YELLER).

That is my worst trauma, mainly because I can't think of anything else that ever caused me to scream and cry like that.

DON BLUTH owes me big time.

I saw an article on your site in GEEK MONTHLY and decided to check it out. There's lots of fun to be had, and I'm still reading it even now, but I did want to respond to your article on THE THING. Because as good as the movie is, it will never hold a candle to the original short story ("Who Goes There?" by JOHN W. CAMPBELL JR.), which I read as a child and which terrified me like nothing else. It's an absolutely gripping read, tense and claustrophobic in a way that even CARPENTER's excellent (and faithful) film can't match.

The most terrifying thing about it was that after I finished reading it and went to bed for the night, a friend of mine stopped by our house. He didn't want to wake my parents, but he did want to see if I was awake and up for sneaking out, so he tapped on my window and whispered, "John? John, are you there?" through the curtains. Needless to say, I didn't respond, primarily because I was sure that saying anything or even moving would result in being devoured by a shape-shifting monster.

UNK SEZ: John, thanks for reminding me just how great and effective "Who Goes There?" really is. I read it in my youth as well. In fact, before JOHN CARPENTER's THE THING was released in theaters, FANGORIA magazine held a contest asking readers to draw THE THING based solely on the description provided by CAMPBELL's text. The young Unkle Lancifer worked diligently in his Trapper Keeper and produced a work that, by rights, should have changed the history of art forever. (I had just discovered a revolutionary shading technique that involved smearing pencil lines with my eraser!) I'm not sure what exactly happened, but for some reason I DID NOT win that contest. I have developed many conspiracy theories over the years. Did the editors of FANGORIA decide that my work was so astounding that I was clearly a seasoned professional with far too many awards already under my belt and therefore disqualified me?? Did my postman, having entered the contest as well, destroy my submission in order to secure his own unwarranted victory? Was JOHN CARPENTER himself involved? Perhaps he was concerned that after seeing my illustration audiences would find his film somehow inadequate! Or was it the government? Maybe THEY stepped in and destroyed my masterpiece because it was a far too convincing a depiction of an alien life form and could potentially blow the lid off their decades long U.F.O. cover-up! One things for sure, "Who Goes There?" is one story that really can really produce paranoia!

P.S.: Thanks to the beyond excellent OUTPOST 31, I have found the winning submissions to the obviously rigged FANGORIA "contest." If you look below you will discover evidence that concludes, without a shadow of a doubt, that I have been robbed! FANGORIA, if you're reading this, it's never to late too make amends. Simply print a retraction in your next issue that states that you acknowledge the fact that you made a HORRIBLE, HORRIBBLE, MISTAKE!

NOTE: For even more horrible mistakes related to THE THING go HERE.

There was this episode of THE CAROL BURNETT where they show her being sucked down a bathtub drain. They show her slinking all through the drainpipes. I had to be three or four when I saw this. It took my parents months to even get me in a bathtub to take a bath without screaming my bloody head off. Even to this day, knowing rationally that it can't happen, I get that weird feeling around tub drains.

It was just this morning that I suddenly remembered something that totally freaked me out as a child. When THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS came out, I was ten. I remember seeing commercials for it on T.V., and there was one commercial that featured the one scene after Jack dresses like Santa and visits all the houses leaving creepy gifts. There's one boy holding a present and his parents go, "What did Santa bring you, honey?" and he pulls out a scary shrunken head and they scream.

That always totally scared me and it was years before I actually watched the movie. It's one of my favorites now, go figure. I looked on You Tube and found it. The shrunken head is right at the end, at 1:17. Still gives me a bit of a shiver.