kindertrauma

Author: aunt john

Official Traumatot :: Sammy Snyders

Posted on By aunt john

sammy snyders is going to kill you!
After his trailblazing performance as Jamie Benjamin, a sexually-charged preteen plagued with poor social skills, a bad bowl cut, and a penchant for feeding neighbors to the carnivorous creatures living in THE PIT, the IMDB trail on child actor sensation SAMMY SNYDERS just about runs cold, save for an appearance in an episode of something called THE LITTLEST HOBO. Based solely on his stellar work in THE PIT, KINDERTRAUMA is pleased to bestow a TRAUMATOT award upon Mr. SNYDERS. Fans of SNYDERS will be pleased to know that after leaving the big and small screen behind, he is now "one of Toronto's hottest jazz teachers!" Jazz dance, that is.

The Pit

Posted on By aunt john

the pit sammy snyders

Coming across more as a garden-variety suburban asshole with a blonde bowl cut than misunderstood boy plagued with autism, Jamie Benjamin (SAMMY SNYDERS) is a 12-year-old social pariah. His parents have a difficult time keeping babysitters, the kids at school would rather punch him in his squirrely face than be his friend, and the town librarian has him pegged for the preteen pervert that he actually is. This is not to say that Jamie is devoid of social interactions, he does have a stuffed bear named Teddy that talks back to him and he has a custodial relationship with a pack of hairy creatures (think CHA-KA from LAND OF THE LOST on a bender) he calls the Tra-la-logs that live in an isolated pit in the woods.

When his parents hightail it to Seattle to look for a new house, Jamie is left in the care of nubile babysitter/housekeeper Sandra O'Reilly (JEANNIE ELIAS) a raspy-voiced co-ed working on a degree in psychology. Rocking a face like ANNIE POTTS and a body like JOYCE DeWITT, Sandra quickly becomes the obsession du jour for the hormonal Jamie and he takes to watching her sleep, peeping on her in the shower and asking for her help with bathing. When Sandra rebuffs his advances, Jamie turns his attention back to the nutritional needs of the Tra-la-logs and experiments first with candy bars and then with raw meat from the butcher.

After Jamie gets busted for stealing money from Sandra to support the Tra-la-logs insatiable meat habit, he starts shoving his enemies into the pit. First to go is the librarian's ginger-haired niece, and then wheelchair-bound Mrs. Oliphant followed by Sandra's football-playing beau. Jamie emerges from the woods after each kill with a trophy from the victim, which at first looks like an earmark of a serial killer in the making. Turns out he's just stockpiling evidence to eventually frame one of Sandra's subsequent, and heavily mustachioed, suitors. Speaking of Sandra, she eventually slips into the pit and is torn to shreds before Jamie's eyes, and that is where Jamie should have gotten a clue. But no, Jamie decides to throw a rope into the pit to free the Tra-la-logs. They climb to the surface and go on a killing spree claiming stoner skinny dippers and a girl in super-short jogging shorts.

A pack of deputized vigilantes wielding shot guns hunt down the hirsute terrors, pump ‘em full of lead, and a back-ho is brought in to bury them and seal off the pit. The movie could have ended there, but thankfully THE PIT just keeps on going and delivers Jamie to his grandparents' house where he encounters an equally as creepy girl cousin. The two take off through a cornfield and into a wooded area that looks eerily similar to one where Jamie used to hang. So similar (read: low budget), that this neck of the woods also has a similarly shaped pit inhabited by (umm… honestly, who didn't see this coming?) Tra-la-logs. The strength of the absurd script rests squarely on the shoulders of the young SAMMY SNYDERS, and his utterly loathsome portrayal of Jamie will either have you laughing or applauding the final frame of the film.

    INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

    • Aided by a well-synced tape recording and a pay phone, Jamie manipulates the schoolmarmish librarian with the smoking-body to peel off her aerobics unitard so he may take some naughty Polaroids
    • Jamie takes Mrs. Oliphant for a push
    • The talking Teddy bear moves his head
    • Sandra foolishly agrees to wash Jamie's back in the tub
    • Sandra's over-the-top screams as she is pulled to bits by the Tra-la-logs
    • The ending!

    Earlier: TRAUMAFESSIONS :: Reader Devon on The Pit

    Prom Night

    Posted on By aunt john

    four killer kids from prom night
    Show me a person who bagged out on their senior prom because of the early ‘80s slasher-flick PROM NIGHT, and I'll show you a person who agreed to a secret pact to cover up a murder they committed with their childhood pals. Our film commences in an abandoned monastery, though it looks more like a hospital, where grade school chums Wendy, Nick, Kelly, and Jude are playing a fairly innocuous game of hide-and-go-seek dubbed "The Killer is Coming." An uninvited Robin Hammond joins in on the action, and the foursome proceeds to back her out of a second story window. Rather than get help for the visibly breathing Robin, the four take an impromptu oath to conceal their involvement, and peddle home on their banana-seat bikes. A large, clucky window falls on Robin, so she doesn't survive, and her murder is erroneously blamed on some serial pedophile that gets sent up the river for the crime. Flash forward to present, and Alexander Hamilton High School is in the grips of prom season. Kim Hammond (JAMIE LEE CURTIS), older sister of the deceased Robin, has been elected prom queen, and Nick, one of her sister's killers, will be her prom king. To make matters more awkward, Nick just broke up with Wendy, another of one of the kiddie killers, and Wendy is not taking her dumping sitting down. Wendy enlists the help of high school truant Lou and his cronies to pull off some sort of CARRIE WHITE shenanigans when the king and queen are crowned. Thankfully, the pedophile who took the wrap for the murder, just so happened to coincidentally escape from a mental institution and was last seen driving towards Alexander Hamilton High in a powder-blue punch buggy. Oh, and all four of the childhood killers have been receiving breathy phone calls from a man asking them if they "still like to play games" and finding their yearbook book photos taped inside their lockers with shards of broken mirror. The big night finally arrives, and as JAMIE LEE struts her bestest disco moves in high school auditorium, the three girls involved in her sister's death are methodically slashed and dispatched. The second half of the films begs the viewer to figure out who could be behind these killings. Is it the pedophile seeking vengeance? Is it Kim's father and high school principal Raymond Hammond (a notably miscast LESLIE NEILSEN)? Is it Kim herself? (Editor's note: JAMIE LEE does sort of look like a dude from certain angles). I'll never tell, but to quote from the haunting disco anthem that permeates the school auditorium, "Prom Night… Everything's All Right!"
         INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

    • The opening sequence with the kids tormenting and killing Robin is a must-see. The repeated intonations of, "The Killer is Coming… The Killer is Coming," is downright creepy
    • Jude's death in the back of her date's super-awesome raper van
    • The protracted chase scene of super-bitch Wendy by the mysterious killer
    • The disco floor, complete with sunken lighting, in the Hamilton High auditorium
    • JAMIE LEE's show-stopping dance routine, with obligatory close-up as her partner Nick twirls her like a pizza
    • The decapitated head tumbling down the prom catwalk
    • The prom's signature song:

    The Changeling

    Posted on By aunt john

     

    Having recently lost his wife and young daughter in a tragic car accident, composer John Russell (GEORGE C. SCOTT) packs up his belongings and flees New York to take a teaching position in Seattle. With the help of local historical society worker Claire Norman (TRISH VAN DEVERE), John moves into the Chestnut House, a dilapidated mansion that makes the BURNT OFFERINGS estate look like a bungalow. It doesn't take too long for Russell to realize that he is not the sole occupant of the manor as faucets start running and doors start slamming. After he's almost taken out by a flying shard of stained glass from a dormer window, John discovers a hidden room in the attic complete with an old-timey wicker wheelchair suitable for a dead child. Faster than you can say microfiche machine, John enlists Claire to help him research the history of the house at the local library. They learn that a child living in the house was a coal cart hit-and-run victim, however she's not the one behind the haunting. A subsequent séance reveals that the child's name is actually Joseph, and John spends the rest of the movie in full-on Sherlock Holmes mode as he connects the supernatural activity going down in Chestnut House with prominent Senator Joseph Carmichael (MELVYN DOUGLAS). With its noticeable lack of special effects, aside from the occasional touch of pyrotechnics, THE CHANGELING is an old-fashioned, bump-in-the-night ghost story. GEORGE C. SCOTT's grounded performance as a grieving man seeking solace for both himself and the kid haunting his house keeps the plotline, especially in the second half of the flick, from bordering too far on the absurd. Okay, maybe the ending was a little out there with the Senator being in two places at the same time, but SCOTT makes the suspension of disbelief worthwhile. 

    INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

    • The infamous rubber ball that returns from the river to bounce the stairs and scare the shit out of John
    • The monotone voice and spastic penmanship of the medium conducting the séance
    • The little girl sees the apparition of a drowned boy in the floor of her bedroom
    • Claire tumbles down the stairs after being mercilessly terrorized by the wicker wheelchair

    Flowers in the Attic

    Posted on By aunt john

    After her husband is killed in a car crash on his thirty-sixth birthday, mother of four Corrine Dollanganger (VICTORIA TENNANT) falls on to financial hard times. Rather than take a secretarial position or even a cashier job at the local food store, Corrine packs up her alliteratively named brood, Chris, Cathy (KRISTY SWANSON), and twins Cory and Carrie and returns to the mind-boggling mansion of her estranged parents. One of the caveats of the flaxen-haired family's stay is that the ailing Grandfather must never know of the children's existence, so that Corrine may work her way back into his good graces. The children are kept locked away in a room with twin beds and attic access, and Corrine assures them that it will just be a temporary housing solution, as her father is not much longer for this world. What Corrine neglects to tell her kids is that their late father was actually her uncle (awkward!), however their austere, Bible-banging Grandmother (LOUISE FLETCHER) is quick to inform the children that they are nothing more than the Devil's spawn in her judgmental eyes. The kids try to make the most of their house arrest situation and transform the cobweb-riddled attic into a pretty sweet playroom complete with a ballet bar so Cathy may practice her dance moves. The passage of time is marked by the changes of the leaves on tree outside the attic window, and as visits from Corrine decline, the violent cruelty of the Grandmother escalates. Due to lack of sunlight, the siblings develop a heavy pancake makeup pallor, and the twins' health seriously declines. It takes the death of Cory to finally get the "We really should devise a solid escape plan and get the hell out of here before we end up dead too" fires burning under Chris and Cathy's assess. On their way out of the mansion, they learn that their Grandfather has been dead for almost two months, and although their mother was reinstated into his will, she will be re-disinherited if there is any proof of offspring from her first marriage to her uncle. It just so happens that their mother is getting remarried in a ballroom on the ground floor of the mansion, and the surviving Dollanganger kids raise their objections rather than hold their peace.When it comes to turning novels into feature films, it's standard operating procedure that certain elements of the text will be lost in the adaptation. One of the key themes to V.C. Andrews best-selling novel was the incestuous yearnings between the older siblings which culminated with Cathy's rape by Chris. Aside from a furtive glance of Cathy in the bathtub by Chris, FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC turns a blind eye to the brother-on-sister action, and ends up feeling more like a watered-down made-for-tv movie.

    INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

    • Grandmother is rather handy with a bull whip, and forces Corrine to show the kids the deep lash wounds on her back
    • Cathy gets a haircut from Grandmother, and follow-up trim by Chris
    • As the groundskeeper buries Cory, the camera pulls back to show three pre-dug graves for the other of the Dollanganger kids
    • Cathy bitch slaps Corrine so hard that she topples over a balcony and ends up being hung by her wedding veil

    Devil Dog: Hound of Hell

    Posted on By aunt john


    After escaping from, yet before returning to, Witch Mountain, ‘70s onscreen siblings KIM RICHARDS and IKE EISENMANN took a detour from their usual Disney fare to star opposite RICHARD CRENNA, YVETTE MIMEUX, and the cutest, most satanic German shepherd to ever grace the made-for-tv-movie screen. Back story on the dog: ‘60's B-movie vamp MARTINE BESWICK along with two associates pay a visit to a puppy mill looking for a bitch in heat. Although hesitant to sell, the breeder eventually parts with his prized German shepherdess for $5,000. BESWICK and her crew chain the dog on a short leash in a barn with an inverted pentagram in the floor and burning candles everywhere which, if you really think about it, is the perfect setting for either a major fire or performing a black mass. The barn is used for the latter, and Satan is kind enough to send a canine demon to knock up the tethered shepherd. Meanwhile, somewhere across town, Mike and Betty Barry (CRENNA & MIMEUX) arrive home to find that their family dog has fallen prey to a hit-and-run accident. The death of the dog sours daughter Bonnie's (RICHARDS) 10th birthday party, and she decides to blow it off for a bike ride with her brother Charlie (EISENMANN). The two don't even make it out of the driveway before they are accosted by a creepy produce purveyor who, in addition to having a nice selection of greens, just happens to have a litter of possessed German shepherd pups in the back of his truck. Bonnie falls hard for a little scamp she names Lucky and, before long, the puppy with the glowing eyes unleashes its evil on the Barry household. Its first victim is the religious Mexican maid who is immolated when the sleeves of her housecoat brush up against the prayer candles she lights to ward off the dog. Next to go is the Great Dane from next door, followed shortly by his owner who turns up floating in his swimming pool. One by one, the Barry family members fall under the dog's spell: daughter Bonnie becomes a bitch, son Charlie stops at nothing to win the student council election, and Mom Betty becomes a total whore and is pretty flippant about the affair she has with her son's guidance counselor. The guidance counselor also has fatal run in with Lucky, and Mike finally puts two and two together about his family's transformation when he finds the dog hanging around the crime scene. It was either that or catching his wife and kids chanting in front of a spooky painting with the dog late at night in the attic, who's to say? Fresh from denial, Mike seeks advice from his local occult shop owner, unsuccessfully tries to shoot the dog at close range, and then jets off to South America for a pow-wow with a holy man who teaches him how to send the dog back to the hell from whence it came. Despite the dense amount of action packed into its 95 minute running time, DEVIL DOG falls short in the special effects department. After the laughable final showdown between Mike and Lucky, the family becomes un-possessed and son Charlie reminds all that there were at least nine other puppies in the litter.

    INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

    • BESWICK's black mass barn buddies, especially the man in the mirrored sunglasses
    • The poor maid, polyester and prayer candles do not mix!
    • CRENNA is almost seduced by the blades of his lawn mower
    • MIMEUX's quick change from Susie Homemaker to full-blown slut
    • KIM RICHARDS Proactiv®-ready reflection in CRENNA's handheld mirror

    It's Alive

    Posted on By aunt john


    On the surface, the Davis family is living the early 1970s California dream. Husband Frank (JOHN P. RYAN) is a chain-smoking, high-powered public relations executive, and his very pregnant wife Lenore (SHARON FARRELL) is ready to pop with their second child. Their middle class world is rocked when Lenore literally spawns a monster that savagely murders all of the doctors and nurses in the delivery room before escaping through a skylight. With the police out looking for their brutal baby, Frank and Lenore pawn their older son off on a family friend and try to pick up the pieces. He soon loses his job, and turns to the bottle for solace, while she becomes understandably withdrawn. Between swigs of scotch and puffs of his smoke, Frank declares that he just wants the baby dead and his life back to the way it was. The constant badgering by the doctors from the local university who want the baby's remains for further study, and the lawyers from the pharmaceutical company that manufactured Lenore's birth control pills (who want the mini-mutant destroyed) does much to compound the marital riff growing between the Davises. The baby does manage to elude the police long enough to make a pit stop at home to kill the family cat and family friend, and win over Frank before leading the cops to the underground labyrinth of L.A.'s storm drains for a chase scene that can only be described as sureal.

    INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

    • The aftermath of the delivery room massacre
    • The stream of blood-tinged milk running from the delivery truck after the baby offs an unsuspecting milkman
    • Frank's realization that his baby has come when he finds his normally full freezer of meat completely bare
    • The baby's final take down of the police chief amidst the hail of bullets in the sewer system

    TRAUMAFESSIONS :: Reader Tony on Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

    Posted on By aunt john

    holy shit!

    Back in the day, there was a short series of old school horror story anthologies called SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK. Now, if the stories didn't scare you shitless as a kid (and they usually did), then Stephen Gammel's horrifying illustrations sure as hell got the job done. To this very day, there's a particular drawing that I can't bring myself to look at. The story was about a girl whose nightmare was coming true, and the illustration was that of a hideously obese woman with thin gangly arms, oily black hair, tiny black eyes, and an enormous smile. It doesn't sound so bad when I describe it, but trust me, it's pretty damn traumatizing for an eight year old. The book is sitting in my bookshelf as I type, and there's no way I'd take it out at night.