kindertrauma

Author: aunt john

The Other

Posted on By aunt john

Those Perry twins sure are a handful. When young Niles and Holland (CHRIS & MARTIN UDVARNOKY) aren't getting into trouble by stealing preserves from Mrs. Rowe, they busy themselves by tormenting fluffy kitties and sneaking into tents at the local carnival. Boys will boys, as their grandmother Ada (UTA HAGEN) is well aware, and she takes a special shine to the congenial twin Niles. Ada teaches young Niles the art of astral projection, or as her people in the old country called it, "The Game." Meanwhile, folks in and around the Perry family start meeting with the most untimely demises. Cousin Ralph impales himself while playing in the barn, and Mrs. Rowe incurs a fatal heart attack after sitting through a rather unimpressive magic act. The twins' mother also careens down the stairs headfirst and is rendered mute and paraplegic. And there is the matter of the newborn that goes missing ala the Lindbergh baby. Grandma Ada knows it wasn't the red-herring handyman, and she knows it could have been only one of the twins. But which one is it…nice Niles or horrible Holland?

INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

  • The "King of the World" landing on the pitchfork
  • Holland's failed attempt at baptizing a cat in the family wishing well
  • "Holland, where is the baby?"
  • The discovery of the baby

TRAUMAFESSION :: Reader Johnny on INFERNO

Posted on By aunt john

As a kid, (and as an adult), I lived for horror films, and would always beg my parents to let me watch the late night horror show on Friday nights. In Uruguay, where I grew up, these were usually advertised with the equivalent of a G rating, so I usually was able to watch even the most gruesome selections.

Out of all of these movies, there was one that truly frightened me, and haunted me for the next fifteen years, when I was finally able to identify the movie, watch it, and be haunted all over. The movie was INFERNO by DARIO ARGENTO. (more…)

TRAUMAFESSION :: Reader Mike on the Gump

Posted on By aunt john

Whenever I bring up this film (RETURN TO OZ) scaring the crap out of me, anyone who's seen it chimes in, "That lady with the heads got you, huh?"  No, strangely enough I had no problem with Princess Mombi's closet of live heads.  Seeing Oz decimated didn't bug me either.  Nor FAIRUZA BALK as Dorothy getting electroshock therapy, nor the fucked up clay animation at the end.  What kept creeping back was that moose-looking Gump head couch thing. (more…)

The Watcher in the Woods

Posted on By aunt john

Perhaps it's best to start with the back-story on this chestnut. Some thirty or so years ago, three friends drag their friend Karen Aylwood into a chapel for an initiation into their cool kids secret society. Unbeknownst to them, one of those infrequent solar eclipses just happens to be going down, a lightening bolt hits the cathedral, and Karen disappears. Vanished… gone… see you never. Flash forward some thirty even odder years later, and the white bread Curtis family finds themselves in the market for an expansive English country rental. Karen's creepy mom (BETTE DAVIS) just happens to have such a manor, and during the awkward landlord/renter interview, she takes a shine to the eldest Curtis daughter Jan (LYNN-HOLLY JOHNSON of ICE CASTLES fame). Shortly after the Curtis clan moves in, Jan starts observing glowing lights in the woods, and the repeated pattern of triangles in the broken glass of bedroom window and one of her mom's tacky mirrors. Jan also starts seeing images of a blindfolded girl begging for her help (cough…KAREN), and declares that something is watching them from the woods, but this sort of falls on deaf ears. To make matters worse, little sister Elle (PARIS HILTON's other aunt KYLE RICHARDS), in a state of supernatural dyslexia, names her new puppy NERAK, and begins channeling the voice of the unseen watcher in the woods. Coincidentally, a solar eclipse just happens to be happening, and the action culminates when Jan convinces the three teens, now washed-up adults with trepidations, to return with her to the chapel where Karen went missing all those years ago.

INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

  • Any with BETTE DAVIS; she is spot-on as a bereaved mother
  • Jan takes a tumble in the lake
  • Elle scrawl her new puppy's name on the basement window
  • The final reunion in the chapel

TRAUMAFESSION :: Reader Pam on Malachi

Posted on By aunt john

Definitely CHILDREN OF THE CORN! I remember watching that movie probably around the age of 10 or 11. My family played on my fears and thought it was funny to terrorize me. I would go upstairs to use the restroom; they would yell "Malachi!!" Which would cause me to jump down to our stairwell landing (not sure I touched a single step) resulting in a family member of my choosing to escort me to the bathroom and stand outside while I relieved myself in peace. I am now 30 and still have fears of what is lurking in the middle of all those corn fields.

Did I mention I live in Iowa?

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Posted on By aunt john

 

Something wicked Ray bradbury scary circus
 In Greentown, Illinois, October is a brisk month punctuated by the arrival of traveling lightening rod sales and carnivals. One by one, assorted townsfolk are granted wishes on the midway of Dark's Pandemonium Carnival; for example, the ugly schoolmarm wants her beauty restored, the dual-amputee barkeep wants his limbs back so he can relive the glory days of short-lived football stardom, and the virginal barber wants to get with some ladies. Preteen pals Will Halloway and Jim Nightshade quickly discover the dark side to this freaky Make-A-Wish-Into-A-Nightmare-Foundation, and find themselves being hunted by the carnival's sinister proprietor Mr. Dark (JONATHAN PRYCE). Will's over-the-hill father (JASON ROBARDS) teams up with the boys to bring the calliope crashing to the ground.

    INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

    • Jim & Will's shared spider nightmare
    • PAM GRIER as the saucy soothsayer with the glowing eyes
    • The creepy ginger-haired kid who breaks the window with a rock
    • The meltdown of merry-go-round time machine
    • Mr. Dark's "Have You Seen These Boys?" hand-inked jobs

     

    wicked tattoo ray bradbury
      

    TRAUMAFESSION :: Kinderpal Claire on POLTERGEIST

    Posted on By aunt john

     

    poltergeist clown scary clown doll
     

    POLTERGEIST, 1982, had to be the scariest movie ever. I remember watching the movie with my 4 brothers. I was 7-years-old at the time. For me, there are a countless number of things in that movie which just scare the living crap out of me even to this day. One scene in particular that I will never forget is when little Robbie Freeling (played by OLIVER ROBBINS) was attacked by his toy clown. I sat watching the scene with my hands over my eyes. When I was brave enough to spread my fingers for a quick moment or two, I caught glimpses of the epic battle of boy vs. his clown. Glimpses were all I needed to firmly cement my fear of clowns. To add to the trauma, my brothers told me that my Strawberry Shortcake dolls were going to attack me … just like the clown attacked little Robbie. I went to bed that night with my Strawberry Shortcake dolls stuffed away in the closet and my Father lying on the floor in between myself and the closest. I wouldn't go to bed without him there. "But what if my Strawberry Shortcake dolls attack me?" I cried. As I drifted off to sleep that night secure in the knowledge that my Father was there to protect me should my Strawberry Shortcake dolls decide to attack, he laid on the floor chain smoking Marlboros, cursing my brothers, and counting the minutes until dawn.

     

     

    Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

    Posted on By aunt john

     

    kim darby vs small tiny chimney monsters
    On the surface, Sally Farnham (KIM DARBY) seems to have it all. Married to the overly ambitious Alex, a lawyer desperately trying to make partner at his firm, Sally has the free time to redecorate the ginormous estate she just inherited from her late grandmother. She even has the economic clout to keep a maid, a handyman, and the highly coveted interior designer Francisco Perez, an expert in navy, browns, and candles on retainer. The one thing missing from her seemingly perfect life is a study, a place with enough room for a desk, some filing cabinets, and a fireplace. Judging from the exterior shots, it seems as though Sally could have her pick of over 300 different rooms that could readily satisfy her need for a home office. What Sally wants, Sally gets, and she is hell-bent on quenching her fireplace fixation by redecorating the downstairs study, long abandoned by her late grandfather. Despite repeated warnings from the handyman that, "Some things are better left as they are," stubborn Sally opens the side panel on the bricked-up (with steel reinforcement no less) hearth. As a result of her one-woman renovation, Sally sends a generation of TV movie watchers scurrying for the light switch when she unleashes three of the creepiest lil' photophobic demons that look like the California Raisins crossed with Boy George in Taboo make-up. 

      INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

      • The disembodied voices intoning, "Sally… Sally…Sally, we're waiting for you"
      • Sally's tug-of-war at the top stairs with the demons after her decorator takes a tumble
      • Sally's futile attempt at fending off the demons with an Instamatic as they drag her towards the fireplace

      Motel Hell

      Posted on By aunt john

       

      farmer vincent friters critters chainsaw pig
      Vincent Smith (RORY CALHOUN) is what some might call a true renaissance man. Along with kid sister Ida (NANCY PARSONS, most memorable for playing the testicle-obsessed gym teacher in the PORKY'S franchise), Vincent is the co-proprietor of the quaint roadside bed and breakfast Motel Hello. He's also a renowned meat smoker. Nope, you didn't read that wrong, and don't get the wrong idea about Vincent. Despite his senior status, he has no trouble attracting the ladies, especially the saucy young Terry, a permanent guest at the motel following a motorcycle mishap staged by Vincent. Regarding her brother's meat making, Ida will be the first to tell you, "It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters!" And by critters, she means the bikers, swingers, "working women", and vans of punk rockers that fall prey to Vincent's ingenious traps. Once captured, Vince and Ida work in tandem to bury the folks up to their necks in an isolated garden. They then remove the vocal cords, and tube feed the victims until they are ready for harvesting. Equal parts horror and dark comedy, MOTEL HELL is worth checking into if you can stomach cannibalism and a seemingly endless barrage of meat-themed double entendres. 

        INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

        • '70s game show staple Elaine Joyce clad in full bondage regalia swinging a whip
        • Tubing with Ida in her old-timey bathing suit & cap
        • The garden uprising of the critters
        • Chainsaw fight!