kindertrauma

Author: unkle lancifer

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

Posted on By unkle lancifer


There is a reason why this Halloween special will never go away. It says more about the world most of us live in than a decades worth of Oscar winning dramas. In a dense fog of condescending, lulling, pandering children's programming, it shines like a massive lighthouse. It reminds us that in a universe where we are guaranteed that many of our needs and wants will go unfulfilled, needing and wanting might be their own rewards; a magical fuel that inspires us to drive forward.

Comparing this Halloween special to the glorified commercials masquerading as children's entertainment produced today is like comparing the work of VINCENT VAN GOGH to doodles found on the back of an issue of Us magazine next to KIMORA LEE SIMMON's toilet. If you have children, I insist that you force them to watch it yearly. If your children don't love it, put them in a sack and throw them over the Brooklyn Bridge. Don't bother wasting your time raising duds.

I don't know if anybody has noticed but current television spews endless fantasies about obtaining more and more. Children are told from day one that they are what they own. Privilege is a virtue and gluttonous excess is to be emulated rather than condemned. I'm not here to critique modern culture, but it should be noted that in the jazzy water-colored background world of the Peanuts, you just might get a rock thrown into your trick or treat bag. In fact, you just might get SEVERAL rocks thrown into your trick or treat bag. Does that make you a loser? Possibly, but you at least get the feeling that such a fate is preferable to being a selfish jerk like Lucy. (The actually quite lovable Lucy Van Pelt will get a chance in the future to receive her own "request denied" slip as she attempts to woo the enigmatic Schroeder).

Of course THE GREAT PUMPKIN really centers around the seemingly unfulfillable dream of Lucy's lil brother Linus. (Personally I've always found Snoopy's nonverbal, consequence-free fantasy war with the Red Baron a snore.) Linus, armed with "sincerity" faces the night sky and knows there is something else out there, something larger than himself that delivers gifts to those that honor and believe. Creator CHARLES M. SCHULZ denies any intended religious allegory to Linus's faithful anticipation for the hero he alone believes in. Organized religion aside, many claim Linus' plight works as an across the board representation of man's base existential angst. In any case, Linus, like friend Charlie Brown, attempting to kick a football that Lucy systematically pulls away, does not get what he wants.

To follow a story only to find the character you are routing for fails seems almost unthinkable in this day and age. What is the point if there is no victory? Speaking of religion, isn't the idea of heaven a "victory" of sorts? It's a reward for services rendered, a prize for the loyal and most importantly a happy ending. (The idea of finding a rock in that particular trick or treat bag is enough to drive some folks bonkers) If Linus does not get what he wants then he's a blockhead right?

On the contrary. I say worship Linus. Build a religion around Linus. Linus does not want to dress up in the ghost uniform. He will not trade his belief for "candy everybody wants." I don't know about you, but I can think of worse fates than spending Halloween night in a pumpkin patch looking up at the night sky. His sack may be empty, but he's so much richer than his trick-or-treating pals. He has imagination, faith, and sincerity. He has created his own universe and nobody can take it away. His desire, his wanting for something better, more substantial than what his friends can imagine, elevates him. Receiving makes you complacent. Wanting makes you grow like a pumpkin vine toward the sun. Linus may not know it, but he's bigger than the Great Pumpkin himself. Let the Great Pumpkin and others like him continue to elude, I already have my idol and he carries a security blanket.

Buffy Episodes :: "Halloween" & "Fear Itself"

Posted on By unkle lancifer


Located on a "Hellmouth," everyday is like Halloween in Sunnydale, California. Creating a specific Halloween episode of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER is bordering on redundancy. Since the appearance of a monster or a demon is an everyday occurrence in this fictional California town, Buffy and pals utilize the holiday to explore their own psyches instead.

When you subtract the uncanny from All Hallows Eve, you have a date in which people "come as they aren't." BUFFY, throughout its seven seasons always rejoiced in its characters duel identities. In fact, individuals choose the paths of light and dark as if wearing reversible jackets. In Sunnydale, the only disguise that has any real power is to play against how others perceive you.

In many ways these character examinations are much more relevant to our modern experience of the holiday. Once a ritual to ward off the dead or provide bountiful harvests, most people experience Halloween today as a time for little more than costumed revelry. With ghosts and ghoulies out of the picture the lone threat that remains is that, under the guise of anonymity, one might be capable of fulfilling desires best kept in check. If nothing else, there is a collective agreement that November 1st comes with a universal "Get Out of Jail Free" card.

In the second season episode entitled HALLOWEEN, many of the show's strongest characters inadvertently experience parts of themselves previously unexplored thanks to a bit of that old black magic and the appearance of a worshiper of chaos named Ethan Rayne (ROBIN SACHS). Tellingly, Rayne chants to a sculpture with two opposing faces to kick start the mayhem. He also provides our chums, and the better part of the town, with costumes that have the power to transform the wearer into what they have disguised themselves as. Like many premises on B.T.V.S. this seems like the stuff of high fantasy, until you realize that this exact phenomenon occurs to a degree in every town every year on Halloween. Let's be honest, nobody dresses as a sexy French maid to scare off the dead or grow corn. (Well, except for maybe Aunt John, but that is another story).

Fighting machine Buffy's (SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR) costume of choice is a powder-puff 18th century aristocrat (mostly in hopes to appear more feminine in the eyes of vampire love interest Angel (DAVID BOREANAZ)). Xander (NICHOLAS BRENDON) who has recently been protected by Buffy dons a military uniform as a way to appear more masculine and aggressive. Willow (ALYSON HANNIGAN) the groups' thoughtful wallflower toys with the idea of masquerading as a vixen, but in the last minute reverts to her old standby costume, a personality (and sexuality) free ghost.

Unfortunately many of the town's other inhabitants have chosen much more threatening guises. When Ethan's spell takes effect, demonoids, werewolves and other assorted beasts begin to roam looking to cause harm. In order to survive the night our three heroes, with the help of unaffected friends Cordelia (CHARISMA CARPENTER) and Angel, must reverse the spell and return to their former selves. Xander and Willow's new personas come to be quite useful. It's only Buffy the slayer's new identity that is a hindrance.

Although unaffected by the night's magic, Giles (ANTHONY STEWART HEAD), Buffy's bookish seemingly meek guardian or "watcher" reveals the most profound "other self". We get glimpses of his previous darker existence through Rayne who turns out to be an old adversary and once friend. When push comes to shove the gloves are off and Giles, by his own free will, is able to transform into what we have perceived to believe thus far as his exact polar opposite. Ultimately the intellectual librarian alone saves the day with sheer force.

By night's end, Xander has gained retribution for an earlier humiliation and Willow has learned to embrace parts of her persona usually avoided. Buffy who was beginning to think that her all-action, no glamour world of constant slay-age was a turn off to Angel finds that the very parts of herself she has been trying to shake off are the ones that he is most smitten with.

In a way this particular Halloween does turn out to be just like any other day in the Buffyverse. Monsters may roam, vampires may stalk, but the most fascinating thing is always taking place within the minds of its layered-like-gobstoppers primary characters. Characters that battle for self realization as much as saving the world.


FEAR ITSELF

Buffy, Xander and Willow now joined by Willow's werewolf boyfriend OZ (SETH GREEN), experience yet another revelatory Halloween evening in the series' fourth season. While attending a fraternity party all of the groups hidden fears come to startling life, thanks to the awakening of a demon. Trapped, separated and left to their own devices, the gang must confront that which has been gnawing on the back of their minds. Oz worries that his lycanthropic nature will be harmful to Willow; Willow worries that she's dabbling in magic beyond her control; Xander battles his perceived irrelevance in the group; and Buffy comes face to face with her fear of abandonment. Primarily a traditional haunted house tale, scares are perfectly offset by comedic turns provided by Watcher Giles and Xander's new love interest, the hilariously literal ex-vengeance demon Anya (EMMA CAULFIELD). By episode's end we learn that all involved are the ones actually providing power to the demon who, when finally revealed, is not half as threatening as their minds would have them believe.

Together both FEAR ITSELF and HALLOWEEN provide a great night of entertainment for those looking to get into the spirit of Halloween. Even those less familiar with the show will find themselves quickly wrapped up in these spirited holiday romps. The combination of scares, laughs and character examination can be found throughout the series' seven-year run but, with everybody's favorite day as a backdrop, Buffy's lantern shines all the brighter.

Satan's Little Helper

Posted on By unkle lancifer

During the tenth month of the year, just about any horror movie is welcome around these parts. Horror movies that are centered around the Halloween holiday itself are treated like V.I.P.s. It's a pointless endeavor to ever expect any of these movies to compete with JOHN CARPENTER's 1978 masterstroke but who cares? The search is its own reward. Sometimes you get a pleasant surprise like SATAN'S LITTLE HELPER, a movie that may not inspire you to lock your doors and bolt your windows, but delivers a general atmosphere of unfettered mischief that perfectly reflects the holiday itself.

Little Dougie Whooly's (ALEXANDER BRICKEL) video game inspired idolization of Satan is taken to the test when he imagines he meets his hero on Halloween night. In actuality, he has stumbled across a genuine masked killer on the rampage but Dougie's desire to live out his fantasy life blinds him to reality again and again. Jumping head first into the role of protégé, Dougie keeps a look out while the masked killer "Satan Man" massacres his neighbors, delighting in the bloodshed that he believes they are racking up "points" for. It's only when he discovers that he has endangered his family (mom is played by the always entertaining AMANDA PLUMMER) that that he begins to see his "master" in a new light.

"Satan man" and his apprentice's ability to blur the line between video game and reality hits a high score in a grocery store parking lot where they gleefully crash their shopping cart into a pregnant woman, a baby carriage and a cane-carrying blind man. It's this type of cartoony, slapstick black-humor that keeps things from getting too scary, but trust me it's worth the trade off. As much as this is a larky good time SATAN'S LITTLE HELPER does deliver its fair share of tense creepy little moments. If you have ever laughed at a Halloween costume only to find yourself with a moment of discomfort where you question its wearer's intentions, you'll recognize much of that feeling of dread here.

Writer/Director JEFF LIEBERMAN is the real deal. Not only did he grace us with the cult classics SQUIRM and BLUE SUNSHINE, but he's also the man behind slasher favorite JUST BEFORE DAWN. There are many interesting ideas bouncing around inside this particular treat bag. He explores the effects of domestic abuse, religion and media violence, and there is a constant preoccupation with the consistency in which people allow their preconceived notions to cloud their minds. All of these ideas come into play at regular intervals without ever dragging the action down. It's not a perfect film and many might be turned off by it's obviously meager budget but it's definitely the product of a lot of thought and imagination. If you are searching for a fresh modern take on the holiday look no further, SATAN'S LITTLE HELPER aims to please.

Traumafessions :: Reader Michael On Homicidal

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I don't know what possessed my father to take me and my brother to the movies to see William Castle's 1961 HOMICIDAL when we were age 5 and 7. But take us he did and there is one scene near the end of the movie I will never forget. There was an old, creepy, invalid mute lady who lived in a mansion. She used one of those lift chairs that was connected to the wall of the stairway to get up and down the stairs. Towards the end of the movie the camera focused on her sitting in the lift chair in the darkened house as it lurched slowly step by step to the ground floor. When it finally reached the bottom of the stairs, the chair jerked to a stop and………. her head rolled off her body!

Talk about nightmare fuel! I didn't sleep for days and I had nightmares about this for many a year. I saw the movie a few years ago and it is not really that scary (and the special effects were laughable). But the 5 year old me got the shock of his life. Thanks alot Dad!

NOTE: Careful folks, this clip brings new meaning to the term "spoiler"!

The Halloween That Almost Wasn't

Posted on By unkle lancifer


Did you know that back in the year 1979 Halloween was almost canceled? It's true. That means no costumes and no trick or treating…nothing. It's almost too painful to contemplate. I know I went out trick or treating on that very night, blissfully unaware of the events that made my monster-in-drag candy hustling excursion possible. Why the government has buried this information is beyond me, but thanks to the brave 30 minute reenactment of these events known as THE HALLOWEEN THAT ALMOST WASN'T the truth can now finally be told.

Most films based around Halloween regurgitate the same information over and over again. You know all that Samhain and All Hallows Eve history type junk. Here the mechanisms of how the holiday works in the modern era are revealed, including numerous facts that many of us are either confused by or completely ignorant of. Did you know that Halloween can only begin when a certain witch flies over the moon? Well it's important to know because in 1979, that fact was used to said witch's advantage in a power play between herself and Count Dracula that began with mild violence and assorted zingers and ended (thank God!) in a disco extravaganza that proved the greatest gifts are rewarded through compromise and subtle blackmail.

At the time of the events, Winnie the Witch found herself struggling with the vast difference between her known internal self and her external public persona. She was tired of being feared and thought of as an uggo. In addition, she was also feeling taken for granted, for even though she worked as hard as Dracula, she got zero credit for her endeavors. (Even in the monster world there is a glass ceiling). At the end of her rope, she decides that the only way to have her voice heard is to go on strike subsequently putting a halt on Halloween altogether.

An obvious influence on the later work of OLIVER STONE, THE HALLOWEEN THAT ALMOST WASN'T looks behind the curtain of what the media would have us believe and reveals, as best as possible, the actual events during this troubled time in history. Assembled to portray the monsters involved in this near tragedy are some of Hollywood's finest. JUDD HIRSCH plays the power hungry, so called leader of the monster group with conviction. He is able to reveal another side of the Count rarely glimpsed before. MARIETTE HARTLEY was nominated for an Emmy for her career-defining role as Winnie, a portrayal that in another actresses' hands could have come off as less sympathetic or at least hen-pecky. Rounding off the assembly line of master thespians is JOHN SCHUCK (Frankenstein's Monster), HENRY GIBSON (Igor) and JACK RILEY(Wolf Man). Two other dudes play a mummy and a zombie priest.

Many of you might want to turn a blind eye to this important film. You may think as long as I get my Halloween why should I care now? That's the type of stinking thinking that causes catastrophe. Make no mistake, this movie is not all preachy and dry, it entertains while it informs. If you don't feel like you personally know Winnie the Witch by film's end then you're just not paying attention. At the risk of revealing the startling conclusion, I recommend that a box of Kleenex be at your disposal when Winnie is confronted with the truth about how others really feel about her. (Be prepared for an appearance by the ultra glamorous HARTLEY you know and love!) Oh, if only all of our nation's disputes could be resolved on a disco dance floor just like they were on that fateful night in 1979. What a wonderful world this would be!

NOTE: In case you have any doubts about the validity of Winnie's claims about being marginalized in favor of Dracula's grandstanding consider this, when released on video the title was changed to the very inaccurate and misleading THE NIGHT DRACULA SAVED THE WORLD. My friends, in reality it was Halloween not the world that was at risk, and it was Winnie herself whose actions saved the day. Yet another example of just what had gotten Winnie's goat in the first place. I ask you is this irony or simply monster world status quo?

Educate yourself HERE, HERE and HERE!

Kinder-News:: Vote On Proposition M.J.

Posted on By unkle lancifer

The other day there was a disturbing development at Kindertrauma headquarters. We discovered that two of our finest and most beloved readers were, in fact, operating under the cover of darkness and hiding an illicit affection for Mary Jane brand candy. Mary Jane candy, which usually is wise enough to stay hidden throughout the year, is well known to resurface just before Halloween in order to sneak its devious way into trick-or-treat bags posing as a confectionery reward. My spidey senses are presently alarming me to the unthinkable conclusion that if there are two of you amongst us, then indeed there must be even more. Although I admire the bravery of the dissidents whose names I will, for the time being, protect, I must say that where I grew up, the love of Mary Jane candy was something that was not to be spoken of out loud in polite society. With an election on the horizon perhaps it is time that we ALL place our cards upon the table and reveal just where are sympathies lie!

So if you support Mary Jane and her theoretical peanut buttery goodness vote YEA! Or if you are like myself and feel she should be discontinued, never to show her face in another trick-or-treat bag for all of eternity vote NAY! The choice is yours my friends and I offer you this, if support for Miss Jane is greater or equal to her detractors come Election day, I will publish a public apology to her in the comments section of this very post! I also would like to state that I have no present beef with the fine people of Necco. In fact, I am a card carrying fan of the Necco Wafer, a pastel colored delight that is not only a sweet treat but, in a pinch, can be utilized as sidewalk chalk.

Kinder-News :: Halloween Day Costume Parade!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hey kids! Do you dream of being an international celebrity the caliber of BONNIE FRANKLIN or HAL LINDEN? Well, Kindertrauma is in the business of making dreams come true!

This Halloween, on Oct. 31st, we will be presenting the greatest costume parade ever assembled and we want YOU to be a part of it. Do you have a picture of yourself as a kid dressed in a Halloween costume? Send it to Kindertrauma@gmail.com so we can post it on that very special day.

Just think how depressed and suicidal it will make your frenemies to know that YOU are cool enough to be in a parade that doesn't exist! We're predicting mass suicides across the country and we can't wait! Unlike that Silver Shamrock global Halloween Holocaust from a couple years back, this should go off without a hitch!

Make your decision now, do you want to be part of the coolest thing ever or wait in line for your chance to jump off a bridge to your death with all the other sad sacks who didn't participate? The choice is yours! (Sadly your dear old Unkle Lancifer has no such picture and has been lumped with the thankless task of serving Lorna Dunes and Hi-C out of Dixie Cups. Sob!)

In other Halloween related nonsense, I just got an important e-mail sent from your Aunt John all the way from a desk two feet away from my own. Look at this cool collection of treat bags he found below! There's plenty more so check em out HERE. Do they not inspire you? Now, off you go to find your pictures, dig through every photo album and please smash as many family heirlooms as possible during your frenzied search. If a parent or guardian tries to stop you, a kick in the shins should set 'em straight!

Project Run Scared :: The Ten Worst Halloween Costumes

Posted on By unkle lancifer


With Halloween fast approaching your Unkle Lancifer and Aunt John have been combing the interwebs for inspiration for costumes. (Yes, we're kinda sorta fighting over who will be Joan from MAD MEN). During our Google-y endeavors we came across a list on RETROCRUSH which lists the worst Halloween costumes ever to be created. Rather than take this list as a cue to go no further and simply compromise (losing straw has to be Pete Campbell), we decided to challenge ourselves and see if we could find even worse Halloween costumes out there in the sparkly interwebville. Everyone one knows that if you're looking for crap the second place after the outhouse is eBay, so off we went. With visions of the impending PROJECT RUNWAY finales cat walking through our brains, we decided to review the ultimate worst of what he had discovered….

10. Nicholas Bradford from EIGHT IS ENOUGH

UNK: (as Tim Gunn) Why are there two? They are both worse than each other somehow. It's pretty sad to me that a child would be so unimaginative that the best that he or she could come up with was dressing like another child of approximately the same age. As I look at them, I hear annoying Ewok songs in my head.

AUNT J: (as the Klumeister): Where is the Mary Bradford costume? With her raspy voice and devotion to medical school, she'd make for a much better costume. PERIOD.

9. Lil' Hotlips from M.A.S.H. BABIES

UNK: In my opinion M.A.S.H. BABIES was the worst cartoon that ever aired on American television. That said, the idea of sending my young child out into the night with the words "LIL' HOTLIPS' emblazoned across her vinyl smock makes me ill. I'd also like to add that M.A.S.H. BABIES sounds more like a demand from the Marquis de Sade then an animated Saturday cartoon aimed at children.

AUNT J: You're right, M.A.S.H. BABIES was released right around the same time as the MICHAEL JACKSON/ Pepsi commercial incineration debacle. Too many little girls were bombarded with snickering taunts of "Major Burns… hah!" Plus LORETTA SWIT never translated well as a youthful character.

8. Some old guy from ON GOLDEN POND

UNK: Is that grey area on the costume plush? I feel it may be plush. Anyway, is that mask supposed to represent the celebrated actor HENRY FONDA? He may have beat his children like they owed him a gambling debt on a daily basis, but he never wore his hair THAT long. (P.S. eBay seller, you're welcome for Photoshoping the stains out of your carpet).

AUNT J: Correct me if I am wrong, but I think it's a KATHARINE HEPBURN mask. Overall, I am not very FONDA this getup.

7. NORMA RAE from NORMA RAE

UNK: Any child wearing this will never have their demands met. I predict a treat bag filled with pennies and lint-covered, unwrapped Velemints.

AUNT J: Is that sign attached to the crotch? The whole purpose of Halloween is to collect free candy, not splinters south of the border! PASS!

6. Aurora Greenway from TERMS OF ENDEARMENT

UNK: I just threw up, not so much in my mouth, but all over the front of my KRASS BROTHERS suit. eBay person, are you really going to try to sell something this filthy? Nobody wants your old dumpster diving gear. This looks more like crime scene evidence than anything that should be worn in public. From this picture, I can glean that its wearer already received their first review when the neighborhood children pelted her with dog feces.

AUNT J: If I saw this one coming down the street, I would totally bolt the door and turn out all the lights! Where is the imagination? Couldn't the child don a hospital gown, slap on some deathbed pancake make-up, and try to pull off the DEBRA WINGER look? This is too easy.

5. Vera from ALICE

UNK: I don't hate this, at least not as much as I hate the character of "Vera". It could work if you carried around a box of soda straws and pretended to spill them every couple of yards on your Halloween trek, and maybe bump into a light post or two. It needs a bit of work but it's almost there.

AUNT J: To quote the opening theme from ALICE, "Kicking myself for nothing was my favorite sport." This costume is neither a kick nor sporty. I'd much prefer to see Mel's Mom (MARTHA RAYE) immortalized in a plastic costume.

4. Steve Burns (AL PACINO) from CRUISING

UNK: I thought I'd seen it all with the VILLAGE PEOPLE costume on RETROCRASH, but this is even more alarming to my small town sensibilities. Then again, black vinyl is notoriously slimming. Plus liquids roll right off of vinyl, be it water or lemon juice or urine.

AUNT J: Can we turn that costume around? Yikes! October is far too brisk a month to be sporting assless chaps about town.

3. Anne Romano from ONE DAY AT A TIME

UNK: I love this! I have ALWAYS enjoyed her work. That's Twiki's robotic girlfriend "Tina" from BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY right?

AUNT J: Striking a blow for womens' rights and single moms everywhere in the late seventies, the Ann Romano costume was oft-mistaken for both Twiki and Lee Grant. Sad, really….

2. Walter from MAUDE

UNK: Why is there a picture of MAUDE on the chest of this costume? Even as a Halloween costume BILL MACY gets upstaged. God will get you for that BEA!

AUNT J: I read somewhere that BEA demanded that her visage be placed on the entire MAUDE Halloween costume collection. Regrettably, there was enough real estate on the bodice of ADRIENNE BARBEAU's to include two such images.

1. Cousin Jeri from THE FACTS OF LIFE

UNK: Ugh! This really rakes my nerves. Enough with THE FACTS OF LIFE! When will that show's iron grip upon our culture loosen? I've taken the good, I've taken the bad and what do I have? MORE FACTS O' LIFE! GERI JEWEL is the absolute last person that I wanted to see today. I actually made a mental note of that fact as I climbed out of bed this morning. Thumbs down, a real stinka-roo!

AUNT J: Ummm… NEWSFLASH Unkle…this costume didn't come off of e-Bay! I wore this costume in the second and third grades. JERI JEWEL was a role model, not only to me, but also to other blossoming stand-up comediennes everywhere in the early '80s. For reals, for reals! And by the way, this lil' number garnered me "Best Box-Job Costume" in 1982 and 1983 at my elementary school.

UNK: As long as we're being perfectly honest, I may have a M.A.S.H. BABIES costume lying around in a trunk in the castle somewhere (lil' Father Mulcahy natch!) Maybe we do have Halloween outfits for this year's festivities after all!

Kinder-News :: An Interview With DW Films

Posted on By unkle lancifer

As promised earlier, here is our interview with both ANDREW DURHAM and FRANK WIEDMANN the creators of DW FILMS, who were kind enough to stop by the castle and speak to us about their wonderful movies and so much more…

UNK: As is Kindertrauma tradition, my first question is to ask both of you what movie, T.V show, book etc. was the first to really scare you when you were little?

FRANK: I guess the one movie that most obviously scared me senseless was GEORGE A. ROMERO's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. I remember a friend telling me about it, and the local "Creature Features" television show on Friday and Saturday nights started showing commercials for it. Back then, before video rentals and Cable movies you had to catch the movies when they came on T.V. Loved the anticipation this created. We waited for weeks, and when NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD finally came on, it was bliss. One year, after watching it, I was unable to get off the couch and get upstairs to my bedroom. We had a staircase that made a U-turn half way up, and I couldn't yet face what was around that corner. When I finally did make it to my bedroom, I locked the door and pushed some filing cabinets in front of the door to keep the zombies out. Don't know what is funnier, me pushing the filing cabinets in front of the door, or the fact that a 12-year-old HAD filing cabinets.

I also need to mention BURNT OFFERINGS. The chauffeur looking up at the window is a "poop in pants" moment.

ANDREW: JOHN CARPENTER'S HALLOWEEN is a masterpiece. In that film, he made the middle of the afternoon seem terrifying. There is a scene where JAMIE LEE CURTIS looks out of her classroom window and sees Michael Myers standing across the street from the school. That still scares me. I also agree with Frank about the original NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. ROMERO was a genius with his style. He made that film look as if you were watching old black and white news footage. The films that really scared me were the movies that looked amateur and homemade. The original TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK were both shot with that documentary, cinema verite style. With the popularity of reality T.V., recent horror films such as THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT and OPEN WATER also reflect that tone and are very effective.

UNK:Can you give me a bit of back story on how your films were made and exactly who was responsible for what?

FRANK: Andrew was the first one of us to get a Super8mm camera. I remember AS SOON as he got it we started having ideas. We both were involved in the planning stages. We would take trips down to a dumpster bin behind a local thrift store, and (since we weren't allowed to dig through it) we would hide in it as low as possible and go through all their clothing, shoes, and precious costumes. You'll notice in our films that ALL actors had to wear a costume we found, no matter how ill fitting it was. SARAH GETZOFF was a trooper, doing all that running and action work in shoes that were way too big for her. I also remember that we would listen to movie soundtracks a lot, and a lot of the scene progressions were created from listening to the music. Andrew was responsible for the photography, and I was the editor. Both of us also got into the merchandising. "Making of" books for some of the bigger movies, premiere night give-aways, etc.

ANDREW: Filmmaking, more so than most art forms, is probably the most collaborative. Even when it was just a group of 12-year-olds, once we decided on an idea, it was all hands on deck. Everyone contributed in some way, whether it was borrowing your Dad's car or your Mom's fur coat. As Frank mentioned, I was responsible for the filming and he did the editing. I can't recall ever sitting down and assigning each task, it just seemed to transpire organically. Maybe it was because I was the one with the camera and Frank was the one with the editing machine. What still amazes me, when looking back, was our innate sense of visual story telling. With regards to shooting, somehow we just knew about establishing shots, camera angles and close ups. Even more profound was our comprehension of editing. We knew about eye lines, pacing, cross cuts and to avoid jump cuts. Perhaps this comes from growing up in the age of mass media. We must have learned this visual language from watching a lot of movies and television. I guess the same could be said today for the five year old kid who walks up to a computer for the first time and can completely navigate the desktop. Years later when I was in film school, I was amazed when the teacher would spend hours lecturing on the importance of opening your scene with an establishing shot, or going to a close up to build tension. I always wanted to raise my hand and ask if anyone in film school had ever seen a film before???

UNK: You really seem to have covered the bases as far as the type of films that were popular at that time, are there any that you planed and never got around to?

FRANK: I would have loved to do a POSEIDON ADEVENTURE ship disaster, or some sort of Zombie or Alien Invasion movie. We never did attempt any Sci-Fi!

ANDREW: Jeez Frank, what was TERROR IN THE SKY? Chopped Liver? That was a total IRWIN ALLEN disaster film. Perhaps Frank is still lamenting over the fact that our very first film, which we never finished, TERROR ISLAND, was about a shipwreck on an island. The island was inhabited with dinosaurs. Sort of like GILLIGAN'S ISLAND meets JURASSIC PARK. Actually it was probably more inspired by LAND OF THE LOST. It is interesting that we never made a sci-fi film, especially since we were the original STAW WARS generation. I still have the script for a film we almost made called FUTURE BATTLE. As I remember it was pretty good… for a STAR WARS rip off. But much like Hollywood, even we had movies in development that never made it to the big screen.

UNK: I can imagine that the neighborhood premieres for these movies were a real blast. How did they go over with friends and family?

FRANK: I remember the premieres were held in Andrew's garage, and we did have parents show up. We'd spend most of the afternoon cleaning the garage and buying "refreshments" for the concession counter. At the SHARK premiere we raffled off a large cardboard shark fin with the words SHARK cut out of it, backed in red cellophane with a light behind that. It was very fancy! I wish I knew what happened to it.

ANDREW: I still laugh when I think about those movie premieres. You really have to understand the context to appreciate how hysterical it all was. We grew up in a college town, Stanford. The emphasis was on academics and refinement. Parents spent their time attending their children's violin and dance recitals or driving their kids to computer class or Latin tutor. Frank and I would set up these premieres in my garage with a refrigerator box as the projection booth, then screen these Hollywood style horror films oozing with blood and guts for everyone in the neighborhood to see. We never saw this us unusual or even reactionary. We just believed that if you spent all this time making a movie, then you must have a gala premiere.

UNK: Backyard filmmaking has got to be an entirely different experience for modern kids. Do you think the technological advances and advent of YouTube will help or hinder their creativity?

FRANK: I think as long as kids get together to make movies it will be a creative experience. There is a "remake" of ELEVATOR on YouTube already by a kid who is like 7-years-old, and he re-enacted it on video with stuffed animals. What I loved about our process was that it cost $20 for 3 minutes of film back then. That was a lot of money for us at that age. Everything had to be planned out as precisely as possible. We spent so much time planning, making story-boards etc. Now, with video (which costs nothing really) I can imagine that the planning may not be as precise and some of the scenes may become very improvised and loose. Not that improvisation is bad, but having a well thought out story line is important. Also, unlimited time on video kind of takes the pressure off. I don't know how good our movies would have held up if they had been 30 minutes. I think the 3 – 15 min time was perfect.

The films were completely silent, so we would need to create a cassette tape with the music on it. It would take quite a while to record the songs to match up with the movies. Then during the premiere, we hit "play" at the designated "blip" at the beginning of the movie and hope the music would fit for the remainder of the film. When I added music and sound-effects to these movies on my computer 30 years later, I was so jealous of the technology that's available to kids today.

ANDREW: I'm so jealous when I see the tools that kids have at their disposal today. Kids younger than we were, are using these amazing little cameras and desktop editing systems. It's really incredible, but… We know that all this technology doesn't guarantee a better product. When GEORGE LUCAS went back and updated the original STAR WARS with CGI, not only did he destroy a perfect example of 1970's sci-fi filmmaking but he ruined the film. All those extra effects took away from the original charm. An artist strongest attribute is to know when to hold back. We shot on actual Super 8 film and often had to edit our stories before we even shot film. This restraint allowed us to be very clear with every single story point. If a young kid has a great idea, an enthusiastic group of friends and love for movies, then they can probably make some great little movies, but if all you have is a bunch of high tech gear and no vision, well then you end up with a lot of very long, sloppy, music videos / skits. You can see hundreds of these on You Tube already. I can only imagine, if Frank and I had access to limitless video, the torture we would have put our audiences through with 45 or even 30 minute versions of SHARK or TERROR IN THE SKY. We might have been skilled filmmakers for 12 year old, but we were still kids and probably a "little" self absorbed.

UNK: Thanks guys. I can't tell you enough what great treasures your films are. I know there are more in the vault and I can't wait to see them. Consider me your number one fan. And to all you kids out there making stuff: art, movies, music, whatever… remember this handy tip from your Unkle Lancifer, SAVE EVERYTHING! You may not realize it now, but you just might have a one of a kind masterpiece on your hands!