Author: unkle lancifer

 

In the midst of making our lists of the worst and best mothers in horror (and non-horror) one name kept floating about with nowhere to land, Dolores Claiborne (KATHY BATES). She didn't belong with the bad mothers because at the end of the day, her actions were not evil or selfish in anyway, but she didn't belong with the "nice" mommies either because well, she's Dolores Claiborne, a cantankerous old woman who, by her own admission, is "half past give a shit." It was all quite the dilemma until I watched the movie again and realized that Delores needed to be where she would naturally feel the most comfortable…alone. Is DOLORES CLAIBORNE even a horror film? We are talking STEPHEN KING here if that means anything. Let's just chalk it up as a gothic ghost story because Dolores and her daughter Selena (JENNIFER JASON LEIGH) are truly haunted. They are haunted by a past that includes a severely abusive husband and father and, as BONNIE TYLER might say, a total eclipse of the heart.As anyone who has seen MISERY knows, KATHY BATES is an imposing force of nature on screen, yet the baggage she brings from that previous portrayal of a STEPHEN KING character is best dropped at the door. This isn't a sideshow and if you bought your ticket in hopes of seeing the neighborhood witch foam at the mouth, you're sure to walk home sad and dejected, kicking tin cans. Sure, good old Annie Wilkes has her charms but as far as depth goes, Dolores makes her look like a paper cut out doll. Dolores may drink from a bottle of scotch clearly marked BLACK & WHITE, but morality here is presented as anything but. Could she have made better decisions in her life? Sure, but that just includes her in a club called "human." Dolores doesn't enjoy what she has to do, but just like her elaborate maid duties for the persnickety Vera Donavan (JUDY PARFITT), she rolls up her shirt sleeves and plows ahead. Murder may not be a very popular(or legal)choice for solving a problem, but worrying about public perception is a luxury Dolores can't afford.More fascinating then her relationship with the daughter that never bothered to look beyond Dolores' acerbic exterior, is the one she shares with her employer Vera, who spurs on Dolores' deed. Together, with conspiratorial glances, they share an acknowledgment of a male-dominated world and decide that in order to survive, it is sometimes necessary to draw outside the lines (read kill). Before the film's end, Dolores does reveal all to her daughter who rightfully admits to not knowing how she feels about her mother's actions. Serena does state though, that she understands that these actions were done for her. Is Dolores a kind of feminist hero? She herself would balk at such an idea. Her kind of unsung power is the type that we trample over everyday. She does not fulfill our image of what "strength" is. She doesn't wear the right clothes or have the right haircut or weigh the right amount either. Her victories are not worn on her sleeve or used to advance her "up the ladder." Everything she does is for her daughter, to keep her "safe and sound" and if that sacrifice is not properly recognized, then that just includes her in a club called "Mother" She is a worker with worker's hands worn and cracking from the cold, living in a house that someone who does not know her story painted the word "BITCH" on. She'd paint over that word, but she's learned that sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to. She's also learned that an "accident" can be an unhappy woman's best friend. So, to Dolores Claiborne we say, "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!" Your category bashing ways makes you perhaps the best Mother of them all and trust me, there's no question that you could kick JOBETH WILLIAMS' ass in hand-to-hand combat. BETSY PALMER, now that's another story.      

The world of horror is truly overflowing with nasty examples of motherhood. It's important to remember this time of year that upstanding, nurturing mothers are depicted in horror films as well. This next assemblage of horror mommies celebrates the nice ones. When these TRAUMA-MOMMAS pull out a butcher knife, it's to cut the crust off your PB&J, not slice your throat!10. (tie) Who could choose between these two small screen mommies with big-sized hearts? Both KIM HUNTER of BAD RONALD and JOCELYN BRANDO of DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW will do anything to protect their misunderstood boys from being ravaged by an uncaring world. Neither was particularly successful but on Mother's Day especially, it's important to remember that it's the thought that counts.9. Although she's got some real questionable taste in men, single mom Lucy Emerson DIANE WIEST in THE LOST BOYS is every kid's dream; a super-lenient, life-size Monchhichi with an affinity for pastel knitwear.8. Tracking down your lost child in a crowded mall or shopping center is an anguish most moms can identify with. Now imagine being Rose Da Silva (RADHA MITCHELL) and going through the same plight in the nightmare town known as SILENT HILL. What's the Aussie word for cojones?7. We admit to having a soft spot for blissfully unaware and chronically naive Karen Barclay (7TH HEAVEN-bound CATHERINE HICKS) in CHILD'S PLAY. Not only is she slow to get on the CHUCKY wagon, We think it's sweet the way she archaically refers to the skanky homeless bum who tries to rape her as a "peddler"!6. Wendy Torrence (SHELLY DUVALL) may seem a bit ineffectual at times, but give her a break; she's got a lot on her plate. Dad's a psycho and there's an unexplained plushy fetishist invasion to contend with. Extra points awarded for being a human ALICE NEEL painting.5. Is there any mom cooler than disc jockey Stevie Wayne (ADRIENNE BARBEAU)? She lets you stay out late listening to JOHN HOUSMAN tell ghost stories and she lets you have STOMACH PONDERS! She'd rate even higher if she didn't choose the safety of the community at large over that of her son. She should have known Mrs. Kobritz (REGINA WALDON) would drop the ball.4. As any mother can tell you, punishing your child can be difficult, perhaps even more so when your daughter is a pig-tailed psychopath. THE BAD SEED's Christine Penmark (NANCY KELLY) leaves it up to Mother Nature to deliver a much-deserved beat down to daughter Rhoda (PATTY McCORMACK).3. THE EXORCIST's Chris MacNeil (ELLEN BURSTYN) may be a glamorous movie star that appears in all the rags of her day, but her love for her daughter Regan (LINDA BLAIR) is no act. Where most A-listers are quick to push their child's slightest nosebleed on the nearest nanny, Chris stands by her daughter through thick and thin pea soup.2. Donna Trenton's (DEE WALLACE) illicit affair may not make her the perfect wife, but that does not put a dampening on her mothering skills. With shear force of will she is somehow able to shred the original ending of STEPHEN KING's CUJO and breath life back into her near dead son. Some would lay thanks on the scriptwriter or director or even a wimpy studio, but we know it's all in a day's work for DEE.1. JOBETH WILLIAMS as Diane Freeling in POLTERGEIST puts the current image of a high functioning soccer mom to shame. She doesn't need MARTHA STEWART to tell her how to transform a cigar box into a canary coffin and she knows media god OPRAH is the last person to seek advice from about how to rescue a child trapped in a T.V. set. RACHEL RAY can kiss her ass, Diane is ordering a pizza and KELLY RIPA would look like a scraggly bleached flag pole if she tried to pull off Diane's football jersey and skimpy undies ensemble. How does Diane do it? What makes her tick like a Swiss watch and never loose her cool? Maybe it's something she's smoking…. In Case You Missed Them:

• 10 Most Horrifying Movie Moms
• More Horrifying Movie Moms
• Top Horrifying Moms From Non-Horror Movies

TRAUMA-MOMMAS don't have to star in horror movies per say to inflict horror upon their friends, family and neighbors. This next list of bad mommies wreaked plenty of havoc and still found their respective DVD's shelved in the more respectable (read boring) aisles of the local video shop. Here's to spreading the misery into every genre!

10. "Only sober for about two hours a day," CASINO's Ginger McKenna (SHARON STONE) has no qualms with getting shit-faced and doing lines of blow in front of her young daughter Amy. And when Ginger can't find a babysitter so she can go down to the club to hang with Nicky (JOE PESCI), she's not above tying Amy to the bed ala LINDA BLAIR in THE EXORCIST.

9. Proving that you should never con a con, especially when that con is your mom, THE GRIFTERS Lilly Dillon (ANJELICA HUSTON) chooses money over her son Roy (JOHN CUSAK). After murdering his girlfriend (ANNETTE BENNING), and torching the body, Lilly not only robs Roy, but also shows her son the business end of her suitcase and a broken drinking glass.

8. Momma Sharon (MIMI ROGERS) has her heart in the right place and, for the most part, is a lovingly attentive parent in THE RAPTURE, but new mommies take note: Shooting a bullet into your daughter's head to get her on the express lane into heaven to avoid a rumored upcoming apocalypse? That's a parenting blunder you just don't recover from.

7. Who needs to resort to physical violence when you can tear your children to shreds with words? No one in THE ANNIVERSARY is safe from the deliciously hateful vile that spews forth from the mouth of the one-eyed Mrs. Taggert (BETTE DAVIS).
6. What well of darkness did a 36-year-old ANGELA LANSBURY tap to so effectively convince as a cold calculating mother in THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE? You try playing the part of a mother to an actor (LAURENCE HARVEY) who is only three years your junior and see if you don't get a little steely glint in your eye!

5. Who says you can't fit a square peg into a round hole? That's what hammers are for! Lillian Farmer (KIM STANLEY) sorta digs the perks and swag her now famous daughter FRANCES is receiving. When nonconformist Frances decides to step out of the limelight, Mom decides she MUST be crazy! Electro shock therapy, full-frontal lobotomies, asylum gang rape and ice baths ensue… thanks mom!

4. Baltimore housewife Beverly Sutphin (KATHLEEN TURNER) loves her family and excels at the domestic arts. She's also a pro at making obscene phone calls, committing restroom murders, and skillfully defending herself in a court of law in SERIAL MOM. Just don't let her catch you wearing white after Labor Day!

3. In WILD AT HEART, old-school cougar Marietta Fortune (DIANE LADD) is a mother with boundary issues. When her daughter Lulu's beau Sailor (NICOLAS CAGE) rebuffs this hellcat's inappropriate advances, Marietta goes a little overboard with a tube of red lipstick and hires hit men to take out her future son-in-law.

2 . SYBIL Dorsett (SALLY FIELD) has multiple personalities, but none are as bad as the ONE personality her awful mother Hattie (MARTINE BARTLETT) is host to. Turning household objects like boot hooks and water bottles into instruments of torture, she transforms her family kitchen into the set of HOSTEL 3. Perhaps the most frightening tool at her command is her childlike, sing-song voice. Just listen to her belt out a couple lines of her favorite nonsensical song "Lettuce Head" and you too will be retreating to a "happy place" deep, deep inside.

1. While we would never suggest that this is her first, or last, time at the bad mommy rodeo, FAYE DUNAWAY's career-ending turn as JOAN CRAWFORD in MOMMIE DEAREST taught us that one need not wear a hockey mask to strike fear in the hearts of small children. A Kabuki-like application of cold cream will do just fine.
In Case You Missed Them: The Most Horrifying Horror Movie Moms & More Horrifying Movie Moms.

Not every TRAUMA-MOMMA can fit into our top ten picks; there's just not enough room. These ten runners up may be a little less flashy or a little less well known, but they are by no means less traumatizing. In fact, some of these nasty ladies give their more famous counterparts a real run for their money. Who knows, maybe the future will have one of these dastardly dames taking top honors!

20. VIVECA LINDFORS of CREEPSHOW plays a creepy greedy mom with three daughters in A BELL FROM HELL who sends her nephew to the looney bin (or so he thinks) to collect his inheritance. Is she really evil? Who cares! It's VIVECA LINDFORS and she's scary as hell.

19. WENDIE ROBIE as "Mom" in THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS lost a few points due to the fact that she's not actually anybody's mom and has kidnapping to thank for her offspring. In any case, she does run a tight ship and her twisted delivery of the line calling for "Total spring cleaning" cinches the deal.

18. Remember how the real nightmare in NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: THE DREAM WARRIORS was Kristen Parker's (PATRICIA ARQUETTE) nag of a mom Elaine (BROOKE BUNDY)? Even a severed skull couldn't stop the swinging single from squealing scoldings!

17. With FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC you get two depraved banshees for the price of one. VICTORIA TENNANT and LOUISE FLETCHER duel it out to see who can be the most hands-off guardian imaginable and turn parental negligence into an art form.

16. At first glance WILLARD's (ski slope nosed CRISPIN GLOVER) mom Henrietta (JACKIE BUROUGHS) is more pitiable than menacing, but soon you realize her whiny wails hit harder than any mallet. Hanging outside the bathroom Willard occupies and demanding to know what exactly is going on inside shoots her way up the list!

15. BLANCHE BAKER's turn as Ruth Chandler in THE GIRL NEXT DOOR is the newest mommy on our list, but trust us she deserves her position. This bitch is so ice cold that if you lick your television screen while she's on it, your tongue will stick!

14. After spending fifteen years in a funny farm being cured of her cannibalistic ways, FRIGHTMARE's Dorothy Yates (SHEILA KEITH) is released to rejoin polite, mostly non-cannibalistic society. Old habits (and some victims) die hard. Here's one momma who ditches gloss for gritty believability.

13. Don't mess with RUTH ROMAN in THE BABY! She makes MA BARKER look like BOB BARKER. She'll do anything to protect her full grown "baby," (decidedly adult DAVID MOONEY) from dirty outside influences, in what has to be the most deranged cinematic offering from the seventies. (Now, that's saying something!)

12. Is there anyone meaner than Rosemary Bower (CAROLYN PURDY GORDON) in DOLLS? Step-mommys already have a bad name thanks to Disney propaganda, and she has the nerve to throw her step-kid Jody's (CARRIE LORRAINE) beloved teddy bear (named "Teddy" natch) into the forest to be lost forever? Sleep well knowing all bears know their way around the woods and that Rosemary Bower is indeed taken down to size!

11. Stand back and gawk at the amazing maternal ferocity and take no prisoners fearlessness of SUSAN TYRRELL in NIGHT WARNING a.k.a. BUTCHER, BAKER NIGHTMARE MAKER! Lame title issues and a questionable "video nasty" ban may have kept this offbeat gem from reaching some viewers but a forthcoming long overdue DVD release is sure to change that. The truth is, SUSAN TYRRELL delivers what may very well be the greatest unheralded horror performance of the last 30 years or so and it's high time everyone knew about it. DE NIRO eat your heart out! In Case You Missed Them: The 10 Most Horrifying Movie Moms & The 10 Most Horrifying Moms From Non-Horror Movies.

We here at Kindertrauma love to talk about the gruesome kiddies of horror films, but we're all getting old enough to know that the stork was not really responsible for their births. They all had mommas and with Mother's Day right around the corner, we thought it was high time we brought up the subject of TRAUMA-MOMMAS; those mothers of horror who showed, through example, how to get the job done. From now until Sunday we vow to bring you some killer mom-ertainment, and it all starts with our listing of our favorite top ten monster mommies of mayhem…

10. YVONNE DECARLO in AMERICAN GOTHIC. So it's not the most famous horror flick in the world and we admit to giving extra points to YVONNE for her stint as power mom Lily Munster, yet we're true blue fans of her work here as "Ma." AMERICAN GOTHIC is a real original, just like YVONNE, and anyone who could put up with the ramblings of both ROD STIEGER (as Pa) and MICHEAL J. POLLARD (as one of her psycho offspring) deserves mucho recognition, if not a jewelry box made out of popsicle sticks.
9. ZELDA RUBINSTEIN already owns our hearts thanks to POLTERGEIST, but in ANGUISH she astounds even more. In her film within a film role as Alice Pressman she puts the average taskmaster mother to shame. Rather then send her kid MICHAEL LERNER out for the usual carton of milk, stick of butter and loaf of bread, she instead demands all the eyeballs in the city! Once more she makes this request in her patented SMURFETTE on helium voice!

8. Speaking of SMURFETTE and helium, JENNIFER TILLY as Tiffany the doll does not seem to be a suitable parent at first glance. She's sorta self-involved and yes, has a famous violent streak. Her itchy kill impulse would land her on this list regardless, but we gotta give her extra props for standing up to big daddy CHUCKY in defense of her limp plastic wrist-ed son Glen in SEED OF CHUCKY.

7. BEATRICE PONS (as ROSE ROSS) in MOTHER'S DAY is a force to be reckoned with. It would be bad enough is she were to turn a blind eye to her two moronic son's killing and chilling attitude, but this creepy lady spurs them on and even makes requests for the dreaded SHIRLEY TEMPLE Polaroid game. Sick stuff for sure. Extra points for being in a movie appropriately entitled!

6. A mother who gives birth to her own rage and sends it out into the world to cause havoc? O.K. we realize you only have to open your front door to witness THAT, but the whole licking the litter thing in THE BROOD is just too bizarre not to award, plus SAMANTHA EGGAR!!! Have we ever mentioned we are total Anglophiles (and gingerphiles) here at Kindertrauma? Think about it, you know it's true.

5. Any mother can act monstrous but in PETER JACKSON's DEAD ALIVE a.k.a. BRAINDEAD, ELIZABETH MOODY really does turn into a giant beast that our poor hero has to battle on his rooftop. Easily the most Freudian zombie movie ever made that features contaminated monkeys, kung-fu priests and mass lawnmower kills.

4. The idea that anything would go chin-to-chin or ta-ta-to-ta-ta in a throw down against Ellen Ripley (SIGOURNEY WEAVER) still boggles the mind. I guess having an extra jaw and acid blood can help to raise the old self-assurance level. Momma Alien from ALIENS didn't sweat a bit and she didn't even have to rely on bad language ("Get away from her you bitch!") to psyche out her opponent!

3. CARRIE's mom Margaret White (PIPER LAURIE)… where do you even start to describe this drunk on Jesus juice, hot-mess tranny? She was the shit, and worse of all…SHE LIKED IT! She ended up just like her hero, crucified, but even Jesus didn't have to suffer the indignity of being crucified by a potato peeler. MEL GIBSON make a movie about this momma's "passion" then maybe you can come back into our good graces!

2. One thing about destroying your offspring's life is that you usually have to curb it when you're six feet under. PSYCHO's Norma Bates (voice by VIRGINIA GREGG) did not feel the need to yield to such restrictions. She just kept yacking and yacking. She yacked until the modern horror film was born, and then she yacked some more. She single handedly yacked the slasher genre into existence, and then she yacked some more. Norma Bates is still yacking. Let's all pray she never stops.

1. Are you trying to pretend that you don't know who our number one choice for TRAUMA-MOMMA is? Why? What is wrong with you? Give in to reality, give in to the truth. You can pretend as long as you like that the FRIDAY THE 13TH series is subpar. You can claim it's juvenile, pedestrian, hokey and dated. The proof is in the blood pudding that stained the wreck room carpet and is never going to go away. It's pointless to resist any longer, submit NOW! No other mother brings it like PAMELA VORHEES. No other mother has that voice, that smile, that commitment. The entire franchise and many other horror films that followed it in its wake owe their eye teeth to BETSY PALMER. Even as a decapitated head in a refrigerator, she owns it. Even as a crazy sweater shrine, she brings it. BETSY PALMER IS THE ULTIMATE TRAUMA-MOMMA! GET IT? GOT IT? GOOD!!! We have prepared a poem in her honor….

M is for the murders you inspired!

O is for the only son you had!

T is for the terror that transpired!

H is for the horny teens that made you mad!

E is for the evil that won't retire!

R is for the revenge of your drowned lad!

Put them all together they spell mother.

Someone we would like so much to please,

But this mother bests all the others

And her name is PAMELA VOORHEES!

NOTE: If you don't see your favorite TRAUMA-MOMMA listed, keep your shirt on, there's more to come! Check out our picks for TRAUMA-MOMMAS 20 – 11 & The 10 Most Horrifying Moms From Non-Horror Movies.