Category: Halloween
Kinder-link: The Haunted Closet
It's a well documented fact that yours ghouly worships the goings on at THE HAUNTED CLOSET. In case you need a new reason for me to be so smitten, check out the a recent post that has vintage Halloween costumes pouring out of that very closet. As per usual, my big dilemma is choosing between sirs Grizzly Adams and Chewwy. Check out lots more groovy threads HERE.
Kindertrauma Funhouse with Halloween & Trick 'R Treat!
Below are ten images, one from each of the ten HALLOWEEN films. Can you figure out which image is from which film? Leave your guesses in the comments section. If you don't know guess because today ANYBODY can win! To help out our readers in different time zones, we're going to wait until 6pm tonight (E.S.T.) to award a prize to a randomly chosen commenter! So guess, don't guess, leave your name, whatever… just make sure you leave a comment! The prize today is a doozey. One of you shall be the proud owner of the comic adaption of my favorite new flick TRICK 'R TREAT! Good luck to all!!
Trick 'R Treat
Believe the hype, ignore the backlash, the long awaited TRICK ‘R TREAT is definitely more treat than trick. Not only standing tall as an unabashed love letter to everybody's favorite holiday, this movie succeeds as an ode to anthology films, horror comics and a twisted yet less cynical sensibility all but forgotten. If you're a fan of eighties horror and have been missing the goofy dark fun of films like FRIGHT NIGHT, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS or especially CREEPSHOW, I guarantee you are going to gobble this up. It's scary without being nauseating, funny without being brain dead and overall works like an injection of candy corn right into your veins. Sometime between now and the 31st of October do yourself a solid and rent or buy this film. If TRICK ‘R TREAT doesn't get you in the Halloween spirit then frankly, you are a lost cause and deserve whatever egging, T.P.ing or flaming crap filled paper bag you find on your doorstep.
I won't go into the whys and why nots of this films history. Most of you are probably aware that it missed a chance at a theatrical run and has wound up as a direct to DVD offering instead. Truth is, I'm not sure that modern audiences even deserve this kind of movie anyway. It's beautifully shot, having no interest in looking sewer doused, characters are not required to be humiliated before death and at no point did I feel like somebody was trying to sell me a cell phone, a pair of jeans or a can of soda. If you've been waiting for the scariest movie ever made, keep waiting, this is more about that crisp creepy breeze that blows into town in autumn and the anticipation and excitement that occurs when darkness falls. It's not a nail-biting ordeal; it's a joyful, yet sometimes potently subversive salute to the convivial side of the macabre.
Remarkably director/writer MICHAEL DOUGHERTY has captured the spirit of All Hallow's Eve like a bat in a fishing net, a feat made more impressive when you consider how many have failed at that task before him. Rather than compartmentalize his tales, he allows them to weave and interact and the result is rather innovative in the realm of anthology horror. This is obviously a work of love and it shows and although its final moments could have used a little extra punch, there are few things to complain about here. Maybe I'm suddenly old fashioned or maybe this film just falls right in line with my own tastes, but one thing is for sure, there's no doubt I'll to be watching TRICK ‘R TREAT every October (along with my other holiday standbys) till that old grim reaper comes and tears me away.
Kinder-News :: Walter Will Get You For That God!
O.K., so maybe she didn't star in any horror movies, but she was best buds with Kinder-babe ADRIENNE BARBEAU. Today the flags above Kindertrauma Castle fly at half mass. Fly away BEA, you were anything but tranquilizing!
Snowbound Horror
I love horror movies that utilize a wintry, snowy environment. I'm a sucker for them. They just instantly put me in the proper mood for scares and they are tailor made for watching from under a blanket. Even a horrible movie like DREAMCATCHER is highly watchable to me based on this phenomenon. I've gathered a bunch of snow-scare movies here for you folks to peruse. They are not in any order unless you count the fact that the DVDs that were closest to my computer came first. Maybe you can get some ideas for winter watching from this collection. I'd pretty much recommend almost all of them. (Even DREAMCATCHER, which although indisputably wretched is also indisputably hilarious) . Do you have any favorites that I have forgotten? Let me know in the comments section! I'm always looking for another snow movie to chill to!
GINGERSNAPS: THE BEGINNING (2004)
Not the best of the series, but still stunning.
MISERY (1990)
A needs-no-introduction classic.
DEAD ZONE (1983)
CRONENBERG knows cold.
WIND CHILL (2007)
Underrated haunter; part road movie, part ghost story. EMILY BLUNT's frigid character turns down the thermostat even further.
WHISPER (2007)
Runs icy rings around the OMEN remake.
DREAMCATCHER (2003)
Ludicrous and overblown, but the animal exodus scene is beautiful to behold.
WENDIGO (2001)
Low-budget thriller saved by atmosphere and interesting performances.
BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006)
I'm sorry DREAMCATCHER, maybe you aren't the worst in this grouping!
THE SHINING (1980)
Hey look, I didn't use a picture of the hotel OR the maze!
SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT (1984)
Grandpa is my hero in life.
GHOST STORY (1981)
Talk about atmosphere. It may have failed the brilliant novel, but the visual tone is spot on.
DEVIL TIMES FIVE (1974)
I'd rather take a bath with a piranha then give up my copy of this Kindertauma favorite.
THE BOOGENS (1981)
Why is this not high on the remake to-do list? I want a BOOGENS upgrade!
CURTAINS (1983)
Includes one of the best slasher death scenes EVER.
THE THING (1982)
A yet to be dethroned ultimate snowbound terror masterpiece.
CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE (1944)
I think I can blame this film alone for being the catalyst of my snowbound horror obsession. The climax is simply gorgeous.
BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974)
Here is the real deal classic! This movie is so frosty I need to get another hit of hooch!
THE MOTHMAN PROPHECIES (2002)
I know I'm a freak, but I totally believe in Sir Moths-a-lot.
SUSPENDED ANIMATION (2001)
From the director of LET'S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH, if you ask me, he's still got it!
DEAD OF WINTER (1986)
A snowy little salute to HITCHCOCK, perfect for a late night watch.
SILENT NIGHT BLOODY NIGHT (1974)
Two words,… MARY WORONOV
SHREDDER (2003)
O.K. this is a REAL tribute to the '80s slashers, and it's done right.
RAVENOUS (1999)
An inevitable cult classic.
THE DARK HOURS (2005)
I couldn't recommend this movie more. It's so good! My goal in life is to bring it to the stage!
JACK FROST (1996)
It's kind of cheating using Christmas movies, but this one is too bizarre to pass up.
SANTA'S SLAY (2005)
Speaking of holiday horror, nobody is allowed into Kindertrauma Castle during the season without being forced to watch the OPENING SCENE to this must-have horror comedy!
30 DAYS OF NIGHT (2007)
Say what you like. Vampires? Check. Snow? Check. Lancifer in happy place? Double check!!
GREMLINS(1984)
Is any round up on Kindertrauma complete without GREMLINS? The answer is "no." Hey look, you can see Dorry's tavern!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST: SNOW BEAST (1977)
Aunt John would have my head if I didn't mention his favorite all time television movie!
For more seasonal fun, be sure to check out:
The First Annual Kindertrauma Halloween Parade!
ANNOUNCER: Boys and girls, welcome back to the all ready in progress First Annual Kindertrauma Time-Traveling Halloween Costume Parade. We now join your hosts, Unkle Lancifer and Aunt John, on the east lawn of Kindertrauma Castle.
UNKLE: And who is that I see floating across the east lawn?
AUNTIE: Why it's none other Ronald McVorhees, star of the never to be released FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 17, "DON'T AXE FOR EXTRA FRIES!"
UNKLE: Wait, what?
AUNTIE: Yeah, I couldn't help but GRIMACE when I saw that trailer!
UNKLE: Stop, I can't do this. Who wrote this parade banter?
AUNTIE: I did, and I have a knife in my purse under the counter. Just read the teleprompter or I will stab you in the neck.
UNKLE: All righty then, who is this creepy little skeleton?
AUNTIE: Why that awesome lil' dude is none other than MR. CANACORN of AWESOMENESS FOR AWESOME'S SAKE.
UNKLE: Awesome costume MR. C!
AUNTIE: Yikes! What is our next participant wearing?
UNKLE: That would be the VICAR OF VHS of MAD MAD MAD MAD MOVIES fame rocking, what looks like a hunchback costume.
AUNTIE: Let's throw it down to the street where VICAR can explain his outfit.
VICAR OF VHS: What we have here is the Vicar, age 7 or 8 (this would be circa 1978 or 1979, showing my age), in what is still pretty much my FAVORITE COSTUME EVAR: the Hunchback! Now what made this costume so great, you ask? Well, except for the cheapo plastic fangs, it's 100% home-made–my dad's shirt, my mom's eye shadow and hairspray, a pillow strapped to my back with a belt. But more importantly than that, it was effective: when I put it on, I BECAME the hunchback! The loping gait, the mush-mouthed pleas for understanding, it was all there. And perhaps best of all, when my cousin (dressed as a little fairy princess) came to our house to trick or treat, and I came bounding out of the house toward her in full RAMPAGE mode, she screamed and scampered to the back of the family van and would not come out until her dad assured her NUMEROUS times that it was just her lil' cousin. Ah, even after all these years, I don't think I've ever been so proud of myself.
AUNTIE: Well, we are very excited by the VICAR's pride. Speaking of excitement, I know of some ladies who are very excited by today's parade.
UNKLE: Oh, really. And who would they be?
AUNTIE: None other than the KINDERTRAUMA DANCERS. Take it away girls!
UNKLE: Umm, that wasn't very exciting.
AUNTIE: No?
UNKLE: And it had nothing to do with Halloween. I know you personally choreographed that number, but it lacked a certain level of panache.
AUNTIE: Suck it. Well, our next entrant is certainly not shy about bringing the panache to everything he does.
UNKLE: Sweet Jesus! Is that ADAM of DVD PANACHE?
AUNTIE: You betcha! Let's hear what he has to say about his get-up.
ADAM: 1988… best costume ever! Ghoul makeup kit bought at Newberry's, it actually ended up looking better than the package advertised. On the downside, it itched so much I was only able to visit four houses.
UNKLE: I like folks that don't clown around when it comes to wearing uncomfortable costumes.
AUNTIE: Wait, did you say you like clowns?
UNKLE: Umm, no, are you deaf?
AUNTIE: Nope, I'm in parade mode and I love making shameless segues. Straight from the Kindertrauma Commenter Big Top comes our next participant… the one and only MICKSTER as a scary clown!
UNKLE: Wait, what is she doing? It looks like…
AUNTIE: … she is changing costumes!
UNKLE: Go MICKSTER!
AUNTIE: What a little devil!
UNKLE: That PROFESSOR VON WHISKERSEN sure is a lucky guy.
AUNTIE: Oh my! Are things getting heated along the parade route, or is it just me?
UNKLE: Nope, that's just your hot flashes acting up again.
AUNTIE: Hold your tongue UNKLE, and hopefully the PROFESSOR will hold his fire.
UNKLE: Wait, what?
AUNTIE: Shhh… up next is PROFESSOR VON WHISKERSEN!
PROFESSOR: Here's me in 1982, age 7, prepared to get candy and shoot commies in the face.
UNKLE: And on that note, let's pause for a TRAUM-MERCIAL break from unofficial parade sponsor Coor's Light.
AUNTIE: And we're back!
UNKLE: That ad made me thirsty.
AUNTIE: Well, you're in luck. Up next we have two of our favorite thirst quenchers.
UNKLE: BEA ARTHUR and CHARLOTTE RAE?
AUNTIE: No, you silly goose! DANIELLE & FREDDIE co-proprietors of the best bar in the whole wide world, 12 STEPS DOWN.
UNKLE: Wait, which one is which?
AUNTIE: Let's throw it to DANIELLE for an explanation.
DANIELLE: I am in the lovely 1980 fall addition clown costume, Freddie is the homemade hooker in the middle, which scarily resembles what I look like today, and the ravishing Vampire is my oldest brother Johnny!
UNKLE: I love them. And remember kids, if you are ever in the greater Philadelphia area looking for a watering hole, stop by 12 STEPS DOWN, conveniently located at the corners of 9th & Christian Streets!
AUNTIE: Speaking of great brother and sister acts, check out our next entrants… commenter Megatone230 and his SCOOBY-DOO sis:
UNKLE: Can we get a close-up of his face?
AUNTIE: MEGATONE230, how did you come up with such a scary face?
MEGATONE230: I got the idea for it from the way cool 'Make-up Monsters' book, I ordered from the Weekly Reader in school.
MEGATONE230: My mom helped do the make-up.
UNKLE: Moms really are the best when it comes to helping with make-up.
AUNTIE: And when it comes to hair, nobody beats a Grandma!
UNKLE: What the hell are you babbling about?
AUNTIE: Our next parader is none other than ME, your AUNT JOHN, rocking the Number #1 Super-Guy costume HONG KONG PHOOEY. Flanked by my older brothers, CHUCKY & FRANKY, I do believe we went with a super-hero theme that year.
UNKLE: What the hell is on your head?
AUNTIE: Listen, even at the age of four, when this was taken in 1976, I was a stickler for authenticity. Remember when H.K.P. rocked a perm, like everyone else in the ‘70s?
UNKLE: Nope, afraid not.
AUNTIE: Well he did, and I accessorized my look with my Grandma's wig to take this box-job costume to the next level. From what I remember, that shit was super hot, literally, and I was a sweaty mess by night's end.
UNKLE: You are a freak.
AUNTIE: Speaking of super-freaks, let's move on to our next parader.
UNKLE: O.M.G.!, is that who I think it is?
AUNTIE: Yep, it's none other than your favorite zombie gunslinger, WIL of HORROR YEARBOOK!
UNKLE: Where are my smelling salts? Zombie cowboys fill me with fear!
AUNTIE: Silly UNKLE, never fear… that sly FOX of TRACTOR FACTS is here!
UNKLE: Yay! UNDERDOG! I feel so much safer now!
AUNTIE: Well I'm glad you feel safe UNK, 'cause our final parader is making me slightly nervous with her glow stick. What is she doing?
UNKLE: Hmmm, it looks like she is spelling something. I can sort of make out the letters from here…
AUNTIE: "To KINDERTRAUMA"… something, something "Jamie." What the hell?
UNKLE: Awww… it's OFFICIAL TRAUMATOT DANIELLE HARRIS.
AUNTIE: For those watching at home, I don't know how we managed to get the star of HALLOWEENS 4 & 5, but there she is… clowning around on the east lawn Kindertrauma Castle. I love it!
UNKLE: Wow, that parade went too fast. I guess the whole time-traveling factor just goes to show that anything can happen on Halloween!
AUNTIE: Funny, you should say that. Boys and girls, please give a big Kindertrauma welcome to our master of closing ceremonies… TIM CURRY!
AUNTIE: Special thanks to MR.CANACORN, the VICAR OF VHS, ADAM of DVD PANACHE, MICKSTER, PROFESSOR VON WHISKERSEN, DANIELLE & FREDDIE from 12 STEPS DOWN, MEGATONES 230, WIL from HORROR YEARBOOK, FOX of TRACTOR FACTS, the KINDERTRAUMA DANCERS, DANIELLE HARRIS, and TIM CURRY for participating in today's festivities.
UNKLE: We love you all more than Halloween itself!
AUNTIE: Seriously. Now get out there, get your trick-or-treat on, and have the bestest Halloween EVER!