Category: Holidays
Dead End
On Christmas Eve the Harrington family embarks on a journey to visit relatives for the holidays. Along the way they get lost and I mean really, really lost. Normal everyday reality seems to fly out their car window as one by one they succumb to a dark, deadly force that presents itself in the form of an ominous black automobile. Like a collaboration (or perhaps a collision) between EDWARD ALBEE and ROD STERLING, this Trojan horse of a film is misleadingly simple and masterfully manipulative.
One of DEAD END's greatest feats is how perfectly it captures the feeling and tone of a dream. More incredibly still is how it snares that moment during a dream when you realize that you are having an awful nightmare. Minimalistic, yet fused with countless symbols and layers of meaning, it masquerades as a routine journey when it's anything but. As bizarre and borderline surreal as events become, it's nearly impossible not to relate to the situation presented. Anyone who has ever taken a wrong turn or found themselves trapped in a day that never seems to end will find themselves on disturbingly familiar ground. The behavior of some of the characters may seem unlikely at first, but multiple viewings of the Harrington family's ordeal iron out these wrinkles quite nicely. This is one movie where all the signs are present but are almost indecipherable upon your first viewing.
It is rare to find a modern horror film that hinges on the performances of its actors. Considering that DEAD END's action takes place in a limited environment, one weak link could knock over the whole house of cards. Yet all the players assembled here are remarkable and excel at playing against each other. There's not much in way of special effects or explosive visuals, but I doubt you'll miss them due to the actors' highly entertaining turns. It's not easy to shift gears from hysterically funny to nerve-rackingly creepy, but this group makes it look as easy as changing a radio station. Genre vets RAY WISE and LIN SHAYE both knock it out of the park as Dad and Mom Harington, and as their offspring MICK CAIN and ALEXANDRA HOLDEN are no slouches either. (HOLDEN has an excellent scene where she is required to scream up to the heavens and beg for, if not an answer, then at least some kind of mercy. Considering the comical vibe that DEAD END has been flirting with, the existential defeatism expressed is all the more disturbing.)
The behind the camera talent is equally adept. The direction and writing shared by JEAN-BAPTISTE ANDREA and FABRICE CANEPA is never pretentious or showy. When all the puzzle pieces are in place, you realize just how seamless it all is. Additionally, hats off to the almost subliminal editing and the ever persuasive use of sound. It is increasingly rare to find a film that is brave enough not to wrap itself in neon and underline and circle its every step. Rather than begging the audience to fall in love with it every five seconds, DEAD END challenges the audience to keep up with it.
If you are looking for holiday horror, but are not interested in having cymbals smashed against your ears for an hour and a half, DEAD END is just for you. Many movies may end up parking in the same garage as DEAD END, but few do such a wonderful job of earning their right to be there. If its final moments give you a frustrating sense of déjà vu, just remember it's not the destination that's important, it's the journey. Genuinely funny, surprisingly haunting and ultimately moving, DEAD END should be spoken in the same breath as MULHOLLAND DRIVE and the seminal mind-screwer JACOB'S LADDER. It simply does a bang up job of reminding us once again that how we see events is governed more by personal perception than any universal concrete reality.
Traumafessions :: Reader Kim S. on A Claymation Christmas Celebration
The WILL VINTON CHRISTMAS CLAYMATION SPECIAL gave me nightmares for years. My mom and sister watched it every year and I was given no choice but to destroy the video. I mean what twisted human creates a Christmas Special for kids hosted by two Dinosaurs named Rex and Herb, and then does a scene of bells ringing with an evil creepy old hunched back man. Seriously, dinosaurs…WTF!
Traum-merical Break :: X-Mas at Kiddie City & Woolworth's
AUNT JOHN SEZ: Normally, your Aunt John turns a blind eye towards the siren-song shenanigans of M.I.L.F.s…. but I am finding it super-hard to resist these blazers, shoulder pads, and dance moves.
Traum-merical Break :: X-Mas at Toys 'R Us
AUNT JOHN SEZ: If anyone out there actually got the Viewmaster's Talking 3-D thing-a-ma-bob with MICHAEL JACKSON's THRILLER cartridges, please e-mail Aunt John immediately, and then marry me.
Kinder-News :: 'Tis the Season for Santaphobia
You can't blame kids for loving old Saint Nick, for every year he brings them toys on Christmas Eve and then splits without requiring any sort of face time. Sounds like the perfect relationship to me, so how come parents have to ruin this perfect symbiotic alliance by shoving their toddlers on his lap and taking pictures?
Thankfully my parents never pimped me out in such a fashion. Contrary to popular belief, being forced to sit on an old, fat, gray-bearded stranger's lap for a photo shoot is not my idea of a good time. Obviously many children agree with me because 4 out of 5 Christmas snapshots involve Munchian howls of disapproval by the child involved.
There's even a BOOK out right now celebrating this sadistic ritual abuse. Which means for less than whatever it would cost you to see whatever crappy holiday movie is in the theaters right now, you can ogle at the anguish of confused terror stricken kiddies. How Kindertraumatic!
Note: For even more Satan Santa-induced horror look HERE and HERE.
The Year Without a Santa Claus
Hey kids! Unkle Lancifer here and boy have I got a treat for you, it's an early Christmas present from Kindertrauma legend Mickster! Our dear pal was kind enough to send us her views on one of our all time favorite Christmas specials, THE YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS. Is there any greater holiday gift than having a friend who is as cool as Mickster? Not in my book! Take it away Mickster….
The title alone of this 1974 RANKIN/BASS classic sparked terror in the hearts of children. Like all RANKIN/BASS stop-motion specials, it features the voices of stars from the past. SHIRLEY BOOTH (TV's HAZEL) voices Mrs. Claus and MICKEY ROONEY (ANDY HARDY Movies) once again voices Santa Claus. The special begins with Santa, who has a terrible cold, being advised by his doctor, who acts suspiciously like Ebenezer Scrooge, to stay home this Christmas. Santa proceeds to call the elves to "cancel" Christmas. Okay, how many Christmas specials over the years have frightened children by claiming that Christmas could be canceled? Of course, as adults we know this is ridiculous, but as a child, it is a traumatizing idea.
Sparked by an idea from Mrs. Claus, who does an awesome dance number in drag, those super intelligent elves Jingle and Jangle set out to find people that still believe in Santa. Jingle and Jangle bring Vixen along with them. All three end up in South Town and begin their search. The genius elves pretend that Vixen, who is suffering in the Southern heat, is a dog and she is thrown in the pound. Jingle and Jangle question a group of children to see if they believe in Santa, which they don't. They do, however, meet one nice kid named Ignatius "Iggy" Thistlewhite. In the meantime, Santa finds out that Jingle, Jangle, and Vixen have traveled into the "cruel world." Santa races to bring them back and meets Iggy. Iggy is promptly put in his place on the subject of Santa through a wonderfully sad song sung by Santa (in disguise as Mr. Klaus) called, "I Believe in Santa Claus."
Excuse me, I have to wipe the tears from my eyes just thinking about this song. Mrs. Claus comes to get Jingle, Jangle, and Iggy. They all travel to see Snow Miser. Mrs. Claus requests that the Snow Miser let it snow in South Town, USA. What follows is probably the best remembered sequence in the special.
As a child, I found characters of Snow Miser and Heat Miser frightening. I think it was because they were so much larger than Mrs. Claus and the fact that they had creepy miniatures following them around. At the same time, Santa retrieves Vixen and returns to the North Pole. He receives a special letter from a little girl (singing "Blue Christmas") that changes his mind about Christmas.
Sorry, I have use some more tissues as this song makes me weepy too. Let's stop for a commercial break. Take it away Mother Nature!
With the intervention of Mother Nature, Heat Miser allows snow in South Town. All is well again as Santa goes out on his yearly trip. This special premiered in 1974 and I am sure I watched it then, but I was too young to be traumatized. However, I remember specifically being traumatized by it two years later in 1976. I was so upset at one point that I left the room crying. I was convinced that Santa was not coming. My mom had to bring me back to the living room to finish watching.
- "I could be Santa Claus"
- Iggy feels the guilt of not believing
- "The Snow Miser Song"
- "The Heat Miser Song"
- Don't mess with Mother Nature!
- "Here comes Santa Claus!"
Snowbound Horror
I love horror movies that utilize a wintry, snowy environment. I'm a sucker for them. They just instantly put me in the proper mood for scares and they are tailor made for watching from under a blanket. Even a horrible movie like DREAMCATCHER is highly watchable to me based on this phenomenon. I've gathered a bunch of snow-scare movies here for you folks to peruse. They are not in any order unless you count the fact that the DVDs that were closest to my computer came first. Maybe you can get some ideas for winter watching from this collection. I'd pretty much recommend almost all of them. (Even DREAMCATCHER, which although indisputably wretched is also indisputably hilarious) . Do you have any favorites that I have forgotten? Let me know in the comments section! I'm always looking for another snow movie to chill to!
GINGERSNAPS: THE BEGINNING (2004)
Not the best of the series, but still stunning.
MISERY (1990)
A needs-no-introduction classic.
DEAD ZONE (1983)
CRONENBERG knows cold.
WIND CHILL (2007)
Underrated haunter; part road movie, part ghost story. EMILY BLUNT's frigid character turns down the thermostat even further.
WHISPER (2007)
Runs icy rings around the OMEN remake.
DREAMCATCHER (2003)
Ludicrous and overblown, but the animal exodus scene is beautiful to behold.
WENDIGO (2001)
Low-budget thriller saved by atmosphere and interesting performances.
BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006)
I'm sorry DREAMCATCHER, maybe you aren't the worst in this grouping!
THE SHINING (1980)
Hey look, I didn't use a picture of the hotel OR the maze!
SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT (1984)
Grandpa is my hero in life.
GHOST STORY (1981)
Talk about atmosphere. It may have failed the brilliant novel, but the visual tone is spot on.
DEVIL TIMES FIVE (1974)
I'd rather take a bath with a piranha then give up my copy of this Kindertauma favorite.
THE BOOGENS (1981)
Why is this not high on the remake to-do list? I want a BOOGENS upgrade!
CURTAINS (1983)
Includes one of the best slasher death scenes EVER.
THE THING (1982)
A yet to be dethroned ultimate snowbound terror masterpiece.
CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE (1944)
I think I can blame this film alone for being the catalyst of my snowbound horror obsession. The climax is simply gorgeous.
BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974)
Here is the real deal classic! This movie is so frosty I need to get another hit of hooch!
THE MOTHMAN PROPHECIES (2002)
I know I'm a freak, but I totally believe in Sir Moths-a-lot.
SUSPENDED ANIMATION (2001)
From the director of LET'S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH, if you ask me, he's still got it!
DEAD OF WINTER (1986)
A snowy little salute to HITCHCOCK, perfect for a late night watch.
SILENT NIGHT BLOODY NIGHT (1974)
Two words,… MARY WORONOV
SHREDDER (2003)
O.K. this is a REAL tribute to the '80s slashers, and it's done right.
RAVENOUS (1999)
An inevitable cult classic.
THE DARK HOURS (2005)
I couldn't recommend this movie more. It's so good! My goal in life is to bring it to the stage!
JACK FROST (1996)
It's kind of cheating using Christmas movies, but this one is too bizarre to pass up.
SANTA'S SLAY (2005)
Speaking of holiday horror, nobody is allowed into Kindertrauma Castle during the season without being forced to watch the OPENING SCENE to this must-have horror comedy!
30 DAYS OF NIGHT (2007)
Say what you like. Vampires? Check. Snow? Check. Lancifer in happy place? Double check!!
GREMLINS(1984)
Is any round up on Kindertrauma complete without GREMLINS? The answer is "no." Hey look, you can see Dorry's tavern!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST: SNOW BEAST (1977)
Aunt John would have my head if I didn't mention his favorite all time television movie!
For more seasonal fun, be sure to check out:
Kinder-Factory :: Aunt John's Holiday Horror Sweater Hoedown
AUNTIE: As most of you probably don't know, when I am not copy editing TRAUMAFESSIONS and tweaking the behind-the-scenes HTML at Kindertrauma, I am the imaginary C.E.O. and lead fashion designer for Kinder-Factory. I founded Kinder-Factory to fill the void encountered by horror fans like myself who love a good beheading just as much as the Bedazzler. Won't you please join me in my passion for rhinestone-enhanced knitwear with a peek at my signature line of beautifully embellished holiday sweaters?
The Captain Ho-Ho-Ho Howdy
If you have piano gathering hosted by a headstrong actress with a troubled teen daughter on your holiday party itinerary, then this is the sweater for you! Treated with ScotchgardTM, this snuggly pullover repels both eggnog and projectile vomit stains.
Amityville Axe-Mas Dreams
There's no mocking the photorealism of this mock turtleneck. The rhinestone-encrusted flies flanking the arms bring a real sense of whimsy to the infamous shotgun murder scene. The neon thread in the lawn is actually made from industrial strength elastic, so you won't need feel like Jody the Pig when you help yourself to seconds, thirds, and fourths at the office holiday party.
Christmas at Crystal Lake
Whether you're celebrating the birth of baby Jesus, or avenging the drowning death of your son by methodically murdering teens about to engage in pre-marital sex, this virgin wool number will keep you nice and toasty.
Trilogy of Terrifying Sweater Vests
Due to a miscommunication with my sweatshop foreman, this one was produced in three different styles. I recommended layering all three for the ultimate KAREN BLACK-Christmas look!
The Jamie Lee Cardigan
The holidays are the perfect time for wearing your family dysfunction not only on your sleeve, but also all over your torso. Crushed satin corduroy frames this familial tale of unrequited sibling love.
All Dogs Go to Hell
Animal lovers will love it when you show up Christmas caroling with CUJO embroidered on your chest. Should they release the hounds on you, the patented chainmail yarn used in the arms will protect you from nastiest of nippers!
The Seasonally Slim Goodbody
Just because you've packed on twenty-five pounds since Black Friday from holiday-induced anger eating, your friends and family will be none the wiser. They will be too fixated on the intricately crafted internal organs to notice you chugging directly from the gravy boat. (Nude leggings sold separately).
Sister Sister!
Show that whiny bitch sister of yours that under no certain terms are you not above taking out your hoop earrings and showing her the back your hand if she gets a little mouthy while passing the mash potatoes.
The Overlook Outer Coat
Although most of my sweaters start in the Triple XXX sizes, I realized I could make a mint by catering to the sweater needs of psychically gifted children of deranged innkeepers. This little number is perfect for the little one on your list who is destined to spend Christmas day running in terror from a possessed parent through a snow-covered hedge maze.
The Carrie White Christmas Sweater Dress
Why dream of a white Christmas when you can have a Carrie White Christmas? Belted at the waist, this flame and pigs' blood retardant tunic will make you the toast of the girls' locker room. Even the most zealous of mothers will approve of the demure, below-the-knee hemline.