Category: It's a Horror to Know You!

It's an Horror to Know You: FatherOfTears!

OK, just who is this guy hiding behind a "Twin Peaks" character avatar? My name is Bob, age 45, and I reside in Northern New Jersey. My TV viewing back then could have been considered typical: Saturday morning cartoons, TV shows like "Emergency", "Kung Fu" and just about all those Sid & Marty Krofft shows. I also spent a good deal of time watching syndicated reruns of classic 60's TV shows like "Star Trek" and the Emma Peel/Tara King episodes of "The Avengers". I was also hooked on "The Little Rascals" too. There was also the comedy stuff like "Gilligan's Island", "I Dream of Jeannie", "Bewitched" and so forth. I did also spend a good deal of time watching sci-fi and horror movies on TV. Who didn't rush home from school to see ABC's "4:30" movie whenever "Monster Week" was on! Let's also remember WPIX Channel 11's "Chiller Theater" with the claymation 6 fingered hand coming out of a pool of blood:

Yes, a bit creepy bit it never scared me outright. I even saw "The Golden Voyage of Sinbad" in a theater when it first came out and I thought those Ray Harryhausen animations were great! Now this was all early to mid 1970's and asides from a few scenes in "Star Trek" (The Empath absorbing McCoy's injuries and Scottie's alien possessed girlfriend) and a few TV commercials, one involving a cymbal monkey toy, I was never terrified from something seen either on TV or at the movies till 1977.

What is the first film that ever scared you?

A three way tie starting in the Summer of 1977. Yes, it involves a TV add for a Dario Argento movie:

I first saw this during a commercial break for "Welcome Back Kotter". Ten year old me thought this was some type of shampoo commercial and this was then popular brunette like Jacklyn Smith……till "she" turned around! Made my heart leap into my throat! Scared me so bad each time it came on I ran out of the room……while my seven year old sister ran into the room to watch it! For years just mentioning the name "Suspiria" would make me stop for a moment and freeze! After that it was the trailer for Magic:

That voice! The rolling eyes! It didn't make me run out of the room but I would sit by the TV sort of frozen in terror! Number three was an actual movie: The made for TV film "Salem's Lot". For years I was used to Lee and Lugosi's vampires who, while creepy, looked human. Reggie Nalder's Kurt Barlow scared me! Oh, the townsfolk vampires with their sunken eyes and pale faces were just as terror inducing! Don't get me started on those "window scenes" with the floating vampire kids!

What is the last film that scared you?

2005's "The Descent". The whole claustrophobic atmosphere in those caves got to me. OK, I'm not claustrophobic but I always feel uneasy watching a TV show on "The Discovery Channel" involving spelunking! Crawling in an 18 inch wide hole that could be filled half way with water! No lights except for you glow stick and flash light. Oh, those "Crawlers" reminded me a bit of the Barlow character from "Salem's Lot"!

Name three horror movies that you believe are underrated.

"The Witchmaker" (1969) A professor of paranormal studies and his student with psychic abilities go out with a small group to investigate reports of witchcraft of the Louisiana swamps. The sorcerer who resides in the swamp has killed young women for their blood so he can use it to summon his fellow evildoers. He has his sights on the psychic and he wants her in his coven. As for the rest of the group? Well……Some scenes do show the film's low budget but the dark exterior swamp scenes cast a feeling of eeriness as do the scenes in the underground lair where the sorcerer does his black magic.

"Messiah of Evil" (1973) OK, yet another zombie movie. However it has two of the all time classic zombie kills seen in a horror film. First there's the theater scene:

And then there's the supermarket scene where 1970's "The Price is Right" model Anitra Ford suddenly becomes the main course:

"Inferno" (1980) The sequel to "Suspiria". Some may not like the fact that Argento used Keith Emerson instead of Goblin. I thought he did a good job. Most of his pieces were more subtle than the Goblin music in the previous film but I don't think the eeriness felt in that New York apartment would have worked with more louder "Suspiria" pieces. Yes, the "Mater Tenebrarum" piece was out of place near the end of the film. The movie is also missing "Suspiria's" BOLD red colors but the featured blues and green work well here.

Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

Speaking of "Suspiria" sequels there's the film that's the basis for my username: "Mother of Tears". Yes, I found it not as good as the first two films though it wasn't completely wretched.

"The Return of Count Yorga" This was done with more for laughs. It does have its moments though. The scene where Yorga's brides crawl out the earth from their graves is good. It's also interesting to see Mariette Hartley, the lady from those "Polaroid" commercials in this as well as a young Craig T. Nelson. By the way, how did Yorga come back?

Speaking of horror films with Robert Quarry I also liked the zombie film he did called "Sugar Hill". Chrome colored zombies with silver eyes!

Send us to five places on the Internet!

I am a big fam of the current ABC series "Once Upon a Time" so here's that show's official site.

As some of you have seen I am a big fan of the classic TV series "Mystery Science Theater 3000". Here's the official fansite.

The official site of rising rock performer Annie Clark/St. Vincent.

The Kyle MacLachlan site.

And I might as well plug my Vimeo channel.

It's a Horror to Know You: John Squires of Freddy In Space!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

Don't really have any sort of great story here, but I have this one very vague memory of watching The Exorcist with my dad when I was pretty young, and being very scared of it. It's weird because I remember feeling like the film had some sort of evil power to it, and it totally freaked me out. I don't even think we watched the whole movie together, I think it was just on TV and we passed by it and watched for a bit but yea, that feeling I got from it always stuck with me. The way my dad spoke about it in particular really had an impact on me, and made me feel like we were watching something that could potentially be harmful to our health. It's kinda weird that I even have that memory, and can recall those feelings, but I'm glad I do, and that I can!

2. What is the last film that scared you?

That'd be Jaume Balaguero's Fragile, which was made way back in '05 but not released until 2010, when Fangoria picked it up for their 'Fright Fest' DVD line. It's not that the film is super scary or even all that amazing or anything, but I watched it at the absolute perfect time for it to creep me out. I've always felt that one's enjoyment of any given horror movie has a lot to do with the circumstances it's watched under. Like if you watch Blair Witch with the lights on and some friends in the room, it's totally gonna be lame and unscary. But if you watch alone in the dark, it's a whole different story. When I watched Fragile, my wife and I had just moved into our own place, and I still had that feeling that we were sort of living in someone else's house, where we didn't belong. It didn't hurt that the house used to be owned by my uncle, and all my childhood memories of the place were linked to it being really dark and unsettling. Not that he's a dark guy or anything, but he was a bachelor at the time, so the place had this kinda lonely and sad vibe to it. On top of that, he used to tell my brother and I that a boogeyman lived in the basement. So yea. Anyway. One night, after Jen went to bed, I watched the movie, alone, in the pitch dark, in this house that felt foreign to me. Needless to say, it scared the shit out of me. Again though, really has more to do with the way I watched it than it does the scary factor of the movie itself. I honestly don't remember much about the movie but it is pretty solid, definitely worth checking out for anyone who may have skipped over it. Give it a chance, it's directed by one half of the directing team who brought us the super scary REC films!

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

1) Blood Creek – Gotta put this on here because I never hear anyone talking about the movie, which leads me to believe that not all that many people have seen it. Why do I say that? Because if you've seen it, you'll damn sure be talking about it! Directed by Joel Schumacher, Blood Creek is the story of an immortal badass Nazi demon … played by Michael Fassbender! The movie is so different and gory as all hell, with one scene of zombie horse carnage that needs to be seen to be believed. SEEK THIS MOVIE OUT. It'll totally make you forgive Schumacher for the nipple suits.

2) Amityville 1992 : It's About Time – There's generally this broad sweeping belief that everything past Amityville 2 is complete and utter garbage. Which is mostly true, but there is a gem hidden in the wreckage of the infamous evil house. And that gem is the sixth installment, fitting titled "It's About Time" … as in, it's about time this franchise had something worth watching in it! Directed by the dude who made Hellraiser 2 (Tony Randel), Amityville 92 is about an architect who becomes consumed by the visage of the Amityville house, so much so that he plans on building an entire town full of nothing but Amityville houses. It's all a result of the man bringing home a clock from Amityville, which has the power to turn his own home into the evil 112 Ocean Avenue house, whenever it so desires. It's a very interesting film, full of some pretty awesome and memorable sequences, and I highly recommend skipping everything else past Part 2 and giving this one a chance.

3) Silent Night, Deadly Night 4 : Initiation – Much like Halloween 3, this is one of those movies that would probably be a whole lot more appreciated if it weren't attached to the franchise it's attached to. Silent Night Part 4 has absolutely nothing to do with the first three films, and in fact really has nothing to do with Christmas either. In other words, it could be enjoyed all year round, if only anyone other than me seemed to enjoy it! Directed by the equally under appreciated Brian Yuzna, Initiation is a whacky mess of giant bugs, awesome practical effects and Clint Howard, a mixture that has to date never failed me. Look past the fact that this movie is part 4 in the Silent Night franchise and go ahead and fall in love with it as soon as you possibly can!

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

1) Ice Cream Man – I talk about this one a lot over on my blog, perhaps way too much. The reason for that is because Ice Cream Man is the ultimate 'best worst movie' for me, a delicious little treat starring Clint Howard as a killer ice cream man that is just so damn good, despite the fact that it tries very hard not to be. I could watch that movie every single day and never tire of it. In fact, just talking about it is making me want to get off the computer and pop it in. But I won't leave you hanging. So I'll continue writing this post instead.

2) Sorority Row – Is the 2009 remake of House On Sorority Row a good horror movie? Or even a great one? No, it's not. But I'll tell ya what. I have an absolute blast with the film every time I watch it, and that's enough for me to sing its praises whenever I hear anyone else bashing it. It's a totally run of the mill and generic slasher flick, but there's just something I dig about it. Maybe it's the cool kill scenes (bottle down the throat!). Maybe it's the image of a bloated Princess Leia with a shotgun. All I'm saying is, this movie + a couple adult beverages = fun.

3) The Creeps : Full Moon's Charles Band wrote and directed this film in the late 90's, about midget (sorry, little people) versions of the Universal Monsters and their quest to take over the world. Need I say more? No? Well I will anyway. The Creeps is one of my favorite Full Moon titles, which I first discovered on television back in my high school days. In fact, I can remember staying up many nights way past my bedtime, watching this movie. It's one of those movies that simply cannot be turned off whenever it's flipped past. It's admittedly a guilty pleasure, but nevertheless is somewhere up there with The Monster Squad as one of my favorite film uses of the Universal Monsters. Well, it's of course no Monster Squad, but I love it all the same!

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

1) Dinosaur Dracula – This is the new site from the guy who used to run X-Entertainment, which was a huge inspiration for me in the blogging game. Dinosaur Dracula is pretty much the same site, only with a Dinosaur mascot that wears a Dracula cape. Matt is a crazy sumbitch, in the best of ways, and there is quite frankly nobody on the net capable of writing up posts in as entertaining a way as he. Whether it's Halloween product reviews or looks back on vintage toys like Madballs and Boglins, Matt is the absolute best of the best in the entertainment blogging game.

2) Shit Movie Fest – My buddy Tom Bryce runs this blog, which is very much like my own. In other words, it's totally awesome, and full of cool shit both new and vintage that'll remind you why you love the horror genre. And wrestling. Because Tom loves both, and gives both equal love on his blog. Which works for me, because I also love both!

3) Fright Rags – Pretty sure most people reading this are well acquainted with this company by now, but if you're looking for cool horror movie shirts, you need not go anywhere else. Truth.

4) Horror Movies And Beer! – This is a blog after my own heart, given my love for both horror movies and beer. Our host Erik not only talks horror, and reviews movies from time to time, but he also reviews various different craft beers, oftentimes ones that have horror themes to them. What more could you ever ask for from a blog!?

5) VHSPS – With so many horror and cult titles still not yet released on DVD, and the VHS releases of those films selling for a pretty penny as a result, somebody needed to take matters into their own hands and give us a chance to own and watch those films affordably, and on DVD. Thankfully, brothers Sean and George Jordan did just that with the VHS Preservation Society, where you can find hundreds of awesome lost gems, on DVD and for a mere 10 bucks a pop. Oh and be sure to use the Freddy In Space coupon code 'BOOTS10' to save 10% off all orders!!

It's a Horror to Know You: GCG!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

I'll have to distinguish between being scared and being disturbed. The former has always been purely pleasurable, while the latter is something I can only appreciate now. As a kid, being disturbed messed with me, made me feel a little hopeless. But today I value that experience in horror films. The first things that disturbed me were scenes of humans being eaten. It's hard to figure why that would upset a child, but there you go. I could only answer this question directly since last week, because only by that time was I able to source a childhood movie-watching memory, something that rarely happens, but of course, does happen more and more frequently as the giant Internet brain helps us use fleeting images as keywords. In this case, the film in question turned out to be War of the Gargantuas, a dandy 1966 Kaiju film featuring two giant simian creatures—one born from a piece of hide torn off the other, which is how they reproduce. Sanda, the progenitor, has brown fur, a gentle disposition, and lives on a mountain. Gaira, the offshoot, has green fur, a mean streak a mile wide, and lives in the sea. Gaira likes to eat humans and spit their clothes out. As a child, I knew a cat who lived in the woods and brought rats to the porch as a kind of tribute to the boss-man, right before eviscerating the rodent, eating every last bit except for the stomach and intestines, which the cat would daintily push to one side before unhinging his jaws to devour the rest. I saw WotG as a child on television and watched Gaira grab a young attractive Japanese woman from an airport terminal and chew her up, spitting out a wad of something that I thought, at the time, were the unsavory parts of her human anatomy masticated into a cud and summarily expectorated upon the tarmac. I didn't catch the fact that they were merely her blood-stained clothes; I was still too young to register every plot point. Instead, I saw a young middle-class woman transformed into a gob of human remains. It was like driving past a road accident and catching the leering bug eyes of a well-dressed man with a crushed skull flopped on the hood of his own car—something exceedingly normal made ghastly. Wikipedia tells me that this hock-a-human-loogie moment was actually added to the version of the film that was distributed in the U.S., as if this film wouldn't be successful here without it. It also tells me that Brad Pitt was inspired to act after watching this film and that the creatures are not giant apes but "Frankenstein" monsters.

Years later, some UHF channel around Halloween 1976 gave me this opportunity to crap my corduroys:

I swear that's Ted Knight, the Superfriends narrator, speaking in that trailer. He did a lot of voice-over work in the ‘60s. Notice how he pronounces "terror" toward the end, like a man who can only console himself with drink and blurt out random words in the face of the zombie apocalypse. I also like the final wait-for-it moment between "night" and "of the living dead," leaving room for some dissonant piano punching. And if you don't believe me that it's Ted Knight, imagine that voice drawling out, "Mon-ROE!"

2. What is the last film that scared you?

I can watch A Serbian Film, yawn, and say to myself, "Oh, puhlease, with your coitus-eye-socketus," but put me all by myself in my study late at night watching reruns of the ghost episodes of Unsolved Mysteries on Youtube, and that's it. I'm done. I'm fetal. There's a cupola on an old Victorian home just across from where I live on a third floor—it's the old governor's home of our state before it moved to Sacramento—and after hearing Robert Stack muse on the odds of there being a Tallman's Ghost, I'm peeking out the window toward the silhouetted cupola, waiting for some green glowing eyes to appear within a Miss Havisham veil along with that perfect scream from the Disney Haunted Mansion sound effects album.

The last scene from a feature-length horror film that gave me the willies was the night vision sequence at the end of [REC]. When that tall skinny girl-thing with the long face swung around blindly, I got a healthy dose of follicus erectus. Of course, I kept checking the cupola to make sure she hadn't made her way from Spain to my neighborhood to escape the austerity laws in Europe.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Monkey Shines (Romero 1988) Vulcan mind meld with an evil monkey. I bet THESE GUYS watch the movie on a regular basis for a good laugh.

Night of the Living Dead (Savini 1990) Barbara whupping ass in a wife beater. Tom delivers the goods, and it's coming out on Blu-ray later this year, albeit at an extortionary price, if we can judge by Twilight Time's previous releases!

Dark Eyes of London (The Human Monster) (Summers 1939) Bela Lugosi at his nastiest, abusing blind people, defrauding life insurance holders (by killing them, of course),
throwing bodies in a mud bank while laughing.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

Bloody Pit of Horror (1965) A sadistic murderer who fancies his own well-oiled Charles Atlas physique. It's a kitschy version of master race arrogance, starring a man who spent more time on the covers of fitness magazines than in films, and had regular sex with Jayne Mansfield before she migrated from buxom bombshell to vehicular death totem. Here are the two faces of Mickey Hargitay:

The Thing That Couldn't Die (1958) MST3K can kiss my ass. Gideon Drew's mutely mouthing severed head is a thing of genius. Water-dowsing, voyeuristic cowhands, and Sir Francis Drake!

The Black Raven (1943) When a storm forces several people to stay in a mysterious house… I don't care what happens after that, and this film is the litmus test of my love for such a premise, because what happens is just stolen money and murder and even that description over-complicates it. It's so public domain, that there's probably a sun bleached VHS copy covered in sticky dust and stuck like hard candy to the edge of a splintered wood veneer entertainment console, broken and tossed beside a dumpster down the street from where you live, right now, no matter who you are or where you live. I was introduced to it via the good folks at Viking Video in the early ‘80s, a copy sold at a drugstore on a spinner rack.

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

I already sent you to monkeyhelpers.org! What more do you want from
me! OK, here's four more:

THIS will be helpful when the wild roving bands of cannibalistic post-apocalyptic thugs require us to use more discreet forms of communication in order to escape their notice.

I enjoy THIS young Brit's take on all things exploitative:

THIS guy knows how to aggregate and do insanely obscure research for no remuneration, except my long-distance affection. His site covers all things Lugosi only as they pertain to the time he spent in England (including the Dark Eyes of London production).

If you are into noise and experimental music, I'm loving THIS new
label out of Seattle. Beautiful vinyl and cassette releases. Use
Hellvete or The Story of Rats as background music the next time you
watch Häxan or Nosferatu!

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Well hello there! Now I know what you are thinking, "Long time, no write Aunt John" and you are correct to feel this way. Rather than bore you again with the gory details of my super crap-tatsic retinal detachment and the two awful surgeries that accompanied it (I know, get out the little violins), I am just going to say that today is my birthday and it's one of those milestone ones that warrants its own section of Mylar balloons at the party store. That's right, I am 40 and I am taking full ownership of it unlike that big old liar-pants KATE BECKINSALE who seems to be reverse ageing on July 26th. She started out two years older than me and is now a year younger than me. Happy 39th KATE! Also co-celebrating my birthday today are such luminaries as enchanting Olympian DOROTHY HAMMILL, adult film star HELEN MIRREN, and some guy named STANLEY KUBRICK, whoever that is. Before we get to my answers, I just want to let everyone know that I have recently rediscovered the joys of Twitter (@auntie_john) and can be found there most days trying to engage the elusive unicorn that is Faye Dunaway. Oh, and I also have a Tumblr devoted mainly to pictures of my cats and stuff.

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

In terms of film, if my memory serves me correctly, I believe it was the scene from the 1977 made-for-television classic SNOWBEAST where the titular monster popped up in the window at the 50th Annual Winter Carnival. I have never in my life been to a ski resort or a Winter Carnival for that matter due, in large part, to this movie. (Spike a mug of cocoa and watch the whole thing HERE).

2. What is the last film that scared you?

Not to sound all jaded, but nothing really "scares" me movie-wise per say. I did however, have a visceral reaction to TURISTAS (2006) and had to leave the room out of sheer disgust. I'm the kind of guy who really enjoys tropical locations and the delicious tropical libations associated with them. The last thing I need is some really bad movie to insert the theme of organ harvesting into this equation. Thanks, but I'll stick with lime in my coconut.

3. Name three horror movies that you believe are underrated:

1. THE FURY: Whenever I find myself sucked into conversations about classic DePALMA, everyone wants to discuss CARRIE or DRESSED TO KILL or BLOWOUT. Sure, this film might be lacking in the NANCY ALLEN department but it has an atomic bomb up its sleeve named AMY IRVING. Whatever happened to her?


2. THE STUFF: Don't let the goofy premise fool you, LARRY COHEN serves up a big helping of biting social commentary in the form a tasty frozen treat!


3. ROMEO IS BLEEDING: Granted, it's more of a sexy thriller/misguided noir mess than a horror movie but when it comes to riding in cars with cold-blooded psychopaths, nobody can match the backseat driving prowess of LENA OLIN. Nobody!

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

1. LIQUID SKY (1982): Despite ANNE CARLISLE's star-making turn as androgynous, twin fashion models and a soundtrack that could drive Kronos Quartet to drink, ALICE SWEET ALICE star PAULA E. SHEPPARD shows up and steals every last scene she is in. Seriously, whatever happened to her?


2. PANDEMONIUM (1982): A basic cable staple of the early-to-mid '80s, I adore everything about this slasher comedy.


3. THE FAN (1981): "I need hearts, not diamonds!"

5. Send us to five places on the Internet! (Include the URLs!)

1. WishBook Web: Growing up, the Sears Catalog was seasonal porn that had me and my siblings drooling and counting down the days to December 25th.

2.Landers Sisters Galleries: Can there ever be enough Audrey and Judy?

3. Requiem for a Dream (Official Site): Every once in a while, someone on the Internet uncovers forgotten movie web sites (I am looking at you YOU'VE GOT MAIL) and everyone gets excited and then forgets about it until the same dust is blown off the same old websites some years later. Can we all take a few moments to B-E E-X-C-I-T-E-D for this now 12-year-old relic?

4. Plan 59: All of those vintage images of creepy kids in creepy ads that you've probably seen all over the web originated here. Pack a lunch!

5. Untied/Undone: An exhaustive collection of Siouxsie & the Banshees concerts and rarities available for download.

BONUS SITES:
6. Scandals of Classic Hollywood @ The Hairpin: I would love nothing more than to go out for birthday drinks and gossip with Anne Helen Petersen.

7. How Was Your Week With Julie Klausner: What can I say? I am not really a podcast person, but I do have a thing for gingers, especially the funny ones.

BONUS VIDEO:

It's a Horror to Know You: Duncan!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

One of my dear Dad's famous-in-our-house phrases in reference to horror films was "They have no socially redeeming value". (Someday I'm going to make him say it into a recorder and put it to a techno beat.) That being said, our babysitter loved scary movies more than Charlie Sheen likes winning. The upside of the babysitter was I'd get to stay up and watch the movies, the downside was when my parents would walk in the door and find the babysitter sound asleep, and me sitting pinwheel-eyed in front of the t.v., practically needing a change of Underoos from what I just witnessed. The most horrific for me was undoubtedly "Damien: Omen II" (1978). How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways — a nosy reporter whose eyes are pecked out by a crow before being turned into Dinty Moore by a Mack Truck, a drowning beneath the ice, a crushing between two railroad cars, and Old Scratch himself. I almost joined the monastery for protection after that movie, but knew I wasn't long for that life since it meant I had to be silent.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

"The Strangers" (2008). This flick has the suspense ratcheted up to an 11. That scene with sweet Liv Tyler in the kitchen as the bagheaded axe-wielding misanthrope just watches her… My inner voice suddenly changed into Raven-Symone screaming "Hells to the no!". The hand brushing Scott Speedman's neck in the car, the outline of the missing axe in the shed, the knock on the door at 4 a.m. It all seems plausible enough, making me ask — what the hells bells would I do in this situation? Special shout-out to "Quarantine" (2008). Drink all the Haterade you want, and I love the original as well, but the remake has some great scares and performances too. One more for my homegirl Nicole Kidman in the astonishing and atmospheric "The Others" (2001), an easily re-watchable and smart fright flick.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

(01) "Black Christmas" (1974). Sure, horror fans know this movie, but no one else I know seems to. It's so good. There's no other way to describe it. The pacing, the performances, the tension, the phone calls, the characters, and especially the eye peering through the crack in the door — that old saying "They don't make them like they used to" is so appropriate here. My Grandma also says "When life gives you lemons, don't cry over spilled milk on the molehill with the mountain" or something like that, but you get my drift — some cliched sentiments do apply to this classic film.

(02) "Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3" (1990). I willingly admit this is a really flawed movie, but it's enjoyable, fast-paced, and has a vicious streak. No sequel to the classic original can ever live up to it's madness, but nonetheless, this is a disturbing, crazy ride. Kate Hodge, as the heroine Michelle, is completely convincing and carries the movie with a genuine and strong performance. Her final confrontation with loony Alfredo is pretty memorable, and I was rooting for the luminous Miss Hodge (who also starred in the underrated and deserving-of-love series "She-Wolf of London") all the way. The girl gets her hands nailed to a chair and still gets back up to fight for her survival (cue "Eye of the Tiger" right now and play it while you read this!). Yes, so much is wrong here — the new family, the engraved saw, the implication that Leatherface copulates, even the ridiculous real-life MPAA chainsaw massacre on the film itself. However, it was one of my first horror movie experiences as a grown-up, and I've developed an affection for this uneven but entertaining screamfest.

(03) "Shock Waves" (1977). Nazi zombies that live underwater. Stranded tourists with awesome, groovy 70's fashions and hairdos. The claustrophobic Chuck, with his most excellent Will Ferrell-esque afro curls and short shorts. A deserted, desolate, run-down resort with no access to escape. These reasons alone make this movie worthwhile, but it's also suspenseful, tense, and creepy. It's slow at times, but it has a lot going for it. Most of the stalking scenes take place in broad daylight, the characters are relatively relatable, and the backstory told by the legendary Peter Cushing about the origin of the zombies is chilling. My biggest complaint is that Rose, our heroine (although well-portrayed by the lovely Brooke Adams) is rather passive and hardly on the same wavelength as my girls Sidney, Gale, Alice, Ginny, Chris, Trish, Nancy, Sally, or Laurie. If only Ripley could've shown up, back from space, and lent Rose a helping hand.

Honorable mentions: "The Changeling" (1980), "Frontier(s)" (2007), "Hell Night" (1981), "Just Before Dawn"(1981), "Session 9" (2001), "Tourist Trap" (1979), "Wrong Turn" (2003), "You'll Like My Mother" (1972).

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

(01) "The Grudge 2" (2006). Yes, it's sort of incoherent and could've been a way better film, but there are some excellent performances and stand-out fright scenes to be found amongst the plodding mystery. Amber Tamblyn is so believable and likable that I felt for her the whole way (her fate is quite tragic). Plus, I always like seeing Sarah Michelle Gellar (who will always be Buffy to me). The croaking noise that Kayako makes is worse than the sounds of a thousand screaming children running loose at Target.

(02) "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" (1998). The script, direction, and entire set-up is a bigger mess than Snooki, I know. I can't help it, I like that adorably plucky Jennifer Love Hewitt and her genuine scream. The Fisherman is actually quite an imposing killer when he's not too busy giving lengthy monologues explaining why he's so vengeful (Hey, Gorton Fisherman Guy — we saw the first one, save the speeches!). But this movie has some intense chase scenes, particularly once The Fisherman takes off after J. Love and her crew, relentlessly hunting them through attics, over glass roofs, and into storm shelters. Sometimes, as the characters in this movie will attest to, it's nice to not have to use your brain to enjoy something.

(03) "Killdozer" (1974). It's a t.v.-movie about a possessed bulldozer trying to kill people. I repeat — it's a t.v.-movie about a possessed bulldozer trying to kill people. That should be all I have to say to make you feel my love (as Billy Joel would say).

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

(01) Atlantic Works.

(02) The Gallows.

(03) Ghosts & Gravestones.

(04) Katie Trotta.

(05) Not For Sale Campaign.

Many thanks for reading and for the incredible work you guys do on this site! Peace, love, and hair grease, Duncan.

It's a Horror to Know You: Carl from The Devil Made Me Watch!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

The first one I remember losing sleep over had to be Evil Dead 2. Weird when I think back about it now as that one is hilarious. But back then 8 year old me did not get the humor at all. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and checking out my bedroom window looking for a dead female corpse to pop up on my lawn and dance around. Honorable mention goes to The Dark Crystal. Brian Froud is a genius. The characters he created still disgust and terrify me to this day. I can't believe Jim Henson was aboard on this one. It's such a weird and dark movie. I use to come home from school everyday for months and watch it. I've probably seen it more than any other movie.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

It seems to be everyone in these interviews mentions Insidious…and I won't be any different. I'm so numb to most scares now a days. I look for quality of special effects etc. when scares happen and that's such a movie geek thing to do. But when I watched Insidious I jumped up so many times and got very weirded out at least five or six times. Too bad the ending wasn't anything special but what can you say, this movie was about the ride to the ending more so than the ending itself.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch: I get shit for this constantly every time I bring it up but the fact of the matter is, had this not been called Halloween 3, it would have been a hit (in horror circles anyway) and could have spawned sequels. Unfortunately, the Michael Myers fanbase demonizes this movie and do nothing but shit on it. It's a great movie and should be given a second chance by everyone.

WestWorld (1973) – Not sure if it's really a horror movie but if what happens in the movie happened in real life, it'd be pretty horrific. This one is written directed by Michael Crichton. It's about a place called West World that is similar to a theme park. You can go there and pretty much act however you feel as most of the people in character are all robots. You can go to one place that's in medieval times or the wild west etc. James Brolin and Richard Benjamin get to West World to relax and end up getting into a quarrel with one robot played by Yul Brynner that ends up with Brynner's robot getting gunned down. Brynner's character keeps coming back for Brolin and Benjamin after there's a malfunction with the robots all over the park. What follows is basically an early version of The Terminator. The tension is so thick it's almost suffocating.

The Dead Next Door (1988) – some people love it but I find they are few and far between. When you read up the story behind J.R. Bookwalter's struggle to make this movie over several years, it gives a certain appreciation. Sure the acting and story are awful but you can see the love and effort that went into the effects. Too bad this kind of time and effort wasn't put into zombies movies now a days instead of people just regurgitating they're favorite zombie movies growing up. No one uses practical effects anymore and I believe it's really hurting horror movies in general. Studios are throwing small amounts of money at young film makers and just sending it direct to DVD for us all to piss and moan about. I'm sure most budgets for direct to video movies now are being spent on the cover art in the hopes that random suckers (like myself) will rent them without any background info. But I digress…

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

The Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf – This movie is so goddam ridiculous how can you not love it? Weird rituals with the werewolves themselves, strange midgets, terrible effects, Christopher Lee actually taking it seriously and what about the final credits?? Absolute garbage and I love every minute of it.

Chopping Mall (1986) – A Jim Wynorski classic. This movie is so terrible but in a classic 80's "so bad it's good" way. The robots aren't scary at all and the characters are so dumb but there's so many classic scenes. Kelli Maroney's expoding head starts off the killings and it's non stop from there. I could watch this one over and over as the feeling of the 80's is palpable.

X-Ray (AKA Hospital Massacre) (1981) – Unbelievable. So over the top ridiculous I can't even describe it. Barbi Benton is going to get some test results from the hospital but there's a killer from her childhood trying to mess with and kill her. The first 15 minutes are spent trying to get you to think everyone that appears on screen could be the killer. It's humor straight out of The Simpsons or something. Janitors giving the "evil eye", shifty looking doctors, basically everyone looks guilty. The movie just steam rolls with the absurd from there. I don't think once does Barbi Benton even try to leave the floor she's on. Watch out for the scene of the three guys in traction. Priceless. I'm hoping the makers were in on the joke because if not, they made the most unintentionally hilarious horror movie in existence. Well….next to Pieces (1982) although I'm pretty sure Joe D'Amato was in on the joke there.

5. Send us to five places on the Internet! (Include the URLs!)

A Slash Above -Luisito Joaquin Gonzalez does an awesome job of reviewing slashers. A past contributor to The Hysteria Lives! website, I think he's grown a bit beyond that site as he still is pumping out the reviews. Justin seems to have slowed down and mainly focuses on the slasher "hey days"

Horroretc – Great podcast. Ted and Anthony's love of horror is so painfully obvious. The personalties of both guys manage to even each other out. I could listen to them all day.

The Hysteria Continues Podcast – Amazing podcast about slasher only movies. I believe you interviewed Justin from the Hysteria Lives! already. Four guys take each podcast and discuss a slasher movie. Funny, interesting with innuendos that makes me laugh every single time.

The Monster Club – site hosting old radio horror shows from the 30's, 40's and up. There's some great stuff there and I'm surprised no one does this anymore. Says something about leaving horror to the imagination instead of having it served to you visually.

Made for TV Mayhem – cool little blog specializing in TV. It covers a lot of the made for TV horror that really isn't being made these days. Just an overall appreciation for TV from the past.

It's a Horror to Know You: JDC Burnhil, author of Nightbird Descends!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

That all depends on what you consider a film (and yes, that is going to be my excuse for giving multiple answers.)

The first filmic thing I can remember terrifying me is just a short film they used to play on our local PBS station between shows, fairing early computer graphics (moving ellipses of the kind that might make a simple screensaver now) with the piano tune "Music Box Dancer." Every time it would come on, I would run to the other room, breathless with fear, hiding until it was over. Why was it so terrifying? Even now I can't give a rational answer; it was something about the crisp, cool precision of the tinkling piano notes, matched with those geometric images so distant from anything my young brain had yet learned to process as "natural" that just sent me toddling away as fast as my legs would take me, convinced I had just barely escaped alive from my brush with the uncanny.

Later my father, wanting someone to watch his favorite TV shows with, discovered to his chagrin that his youngest spawn was a wuss: the closing credits of "Star Trek" with the eerie high-pitched theme song and the terrifying still of the huge-headed alien, pushed panic responses in me, and as for "Doctor Who" airing on PBS, they were in the middle of the Tom Baker era when the serials had names like "Horror of Fang Rock" and featured terrors like Mr. Sin, a pig-faced ventriloquist dummy that came to life with no one touching it and chased you into sewers occupied by rats the size of buses. But even if those weren't disqualified, as TV rather than film, it somehow seems wrong to give them pride of place when I, ahem, barely saw them.

I really have to fast-forward a few years, to a school assembly just before a holiday, where the principal thought it would be a wonderful treat to give the students a movie to watch … Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. Despite all the creepy things that happened in the movie, such as the first appearance of the sinister Mr. Slugworth, I managed to keep watching … until the point where piggy Augustus Gloop, having tumbled into the chocolate river due to his greed, was helplessly sucked up a huge transparent tube and away from sight. At that point I could not control my terror any more, and I had to wait out the rest of the movie back in the classroom. My best friend even left the movie and came to the classroom to reassure me that it was okay, Augustus Gloop was okay, he wasn't really dead, but I would not believe him: as far as I was concerned, we had seen Augustus Gloop erased from existence in the universe before our eyes. Everything he had been before, everything he might have done with a life afterwards; these were all gone, sucked into oblivion up that transparent tube, vanished from all he had loved and all that had loved him. Even finding out later, as an adult, that yes indeed Augustus Gloop and the other children were okay (or so Willy Wonka said, and if you can't trust a candymaker who starts off your very first meeting tricking you into thinking he's crippled and you're about to see him fall and be hurt, gosh, who can you trust??) didn't erase the power of that memory, that vivid cognizance that yes, you could be a living part of the universe one minute and the next minute, just a lifeless clog moving slowly through a pipe.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

That all depends on what you mean by "scared" – okay, okay, I won't overuse that. If we defined "scared" as "scared enough to have troubled sleep afterwards," I would have to go back to The Blair Witch Project. It's a shame that the backlash against the movie's hype, and its sequel, and all the awful imitators that followed, have erased the memory of what an effective film it really was. Being lost forever, never coming home – the movie tapped into some childhood fears that I had no idea still burned with such intensity, and most of my dreams that night were an eerie replay of the three student filmmakers' doomed journey.

Honorable mention to Lonely Water. I still can't believe that there was no producer out there who saw these two minutes of terror on a television screen and immediately tracked down writer Christine Hermon and director Jeff Grant, forced large piles of money into their hands, and said "You make me a feature film. Now." Imagine what those two could have done on a larger canvas with a larger budget.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Hausu.You wouldn't think a Victorian-era artist with a career built on funny cat pictures would get much mention in discussions of a psychedelic Japanese horror film from 1977. The name of Louis Wain seems to always come up, though, and for good reason. You see, Wain also suffered from mental illness, and while the cats that made his career are jovial, whimsical fellows "playing human" in amusing ways, the cats he painted during his troubled periods range from those who stare at the viewer with clearly sinister intent, to phantasmagoric explosions of intense color and sharp-edged shape where only a keen eye can detect that the idea of 'cat' once figured in its genesis.

There is, of course, Hausu's plot element of a painting of a cat (which may be the witch-cat itself) that we get to see in both "ordinary cat" and "demonic cat" incarnations, and this is why Louis Wain always seems to come up. Even beyond that, however, Wain's sad life story is echoed in important ways by the remarkable trick that Obayoshi's film pulls off.

Hausu starts in an atmosphere of artifice amplified to eleven: one of the moments I found most jarring in the early part of the movie is when the girls walk past a painted backdrop of blue skies and smiling people, and as they turn the corner, it's revealed to actually be a painted backdrop, even within the girls' world. That cloud of kitsch, carefully built up, is the camouflage within which the shape of horror lingers, and from which it slowly emerges to claim each victim. From among Wain's jolly, furry fellows emerge, in time, the feline demons of his madness. From out of Hausu's deliberately stagey acting and all its camera tricks and its characters who don't even possess any name but their single identifying trait emerges, in time, a chilling story of the dead, grieving past devouring the innocent future.

Messiah of Evil. I recently read a review of this film which complained that it was too slow-moving. That's enough for me to call this one underrated, and I have to wonder if the reviewer somehow missed what was going on, or perhaps didn't have the cultural background to process it. After all, when was the last time you heard someone complain that a telling of the Nativity story was too slow-moving? and that's just what this movie is about, a dark Nativity. An unlucky girl comes to a small town in California in search of her missing father, and quickly discovers that she's come in the midst of the season of miracles and wonders that precedes the coming of The One Foretold. Except this One Foretold is not bringing a new light of hope to the world, but a terrible shadow, and the miracles and wonders are less in the "babies quickening in the wombs of women thought barren" mold and more along "bleeding from your eyes as you become a cannibalistic zombie" lines. Slow-moving? Please. When there's nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, "slow-moving" just means the suspense is dragged out longer.

Phenomena. This isn't my favorite Dario Argento film; that honor belongs to Suspiria, which is in all honesty the better film. However, this one just doesn't get the love it deserves for all the things it does right. I love the bonding between Jennifer Connelley's boarding-school misfit and Donald Pleasance's avuncular entomologist. I love the wonderful moment when Jennifer's tormentors at the school stand perplexed at her declaration "I love you all," perplexed until they realize she's not talking to them … I love the terrifying last act of the movie, where Jennifer has fallen in with exactly the worst possible people, and must exert every bit of physical strength and inner courage she has to get away from the horror.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

Pieces. Oh, I just love Pieces to pieces. It's so bad, but it never fails to make me feel better when I watch it. Its acting is terrible, its plotting irredeemable, its sense of taste atrocious … but for all that, I love it so much that after my very first viewing I knew I had to own my own copy. Whenever I get down and start wondering if there's anything actually good in the world, I try to think of Lynda Day George's line delivery of "Bastard! … Bastard!! … BASTARD!!!" and it cheers me up to no end.

I'm thinking of making it my ringtone.

The Curious Dr. Humpp. Director Emilio Vieyra's film Feast of Flesh is actually significantly better than this one, and the grotesque mask of its mysterious killer certainly lends a certain horrific touch, but all things considered Feast is more of a thriller. Dr. Humpp is more of a horror movie, with two mad scientists (one of whom is but a brain floating in a tank) and monstrous servants (one of whom simply walks around in nightclubs and stores, with a blinking light in the center of his forehead!) kidnapping people for perverted experiments in draining life-force-slash-sexual-energy.

Now, since most of the footage of those sex experiments is actually new footage inserted into the movie by the North American distributor, and the same distributor gave it a dub audio track written on the philosophy that "matching lip movements is far more important than correct grammar or accurate word usage or sounding natural," it's certainly not a great movie. But it can be a great movie to just sit back and absorb, like a celluloid fever dream, and I dare anyone to say there isn't something hypnotic and haunting in Vieyra's visual compositions.

Axe. A 1977 regional horror by Frederick R. Friedel that moves slowly but can really reward the viewer who invests their imagination. The true horror is not the criminals who come to the farmhouse but lies with those who are already there: Lisa and her paralyzed grandfather. We get only brief glimpses of the blood and chaos that goes in inside blank-faced Lisa's unstable mind, but dwell on it a bit more than the movie does and the movie becomes that much more chilling. Now imagine that her grandfather knows what we the audience know about how fragile Lisa's grasp on sanity is, and knows that this poor insane girl controls his fate entirely, every minute of every day. That's some horror for you.

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

Thrillbent – Some brilliant creators including John Rogers (creator of the excellent pulp TV show "Leverage") and Mark Waid (writer of the seminal graphic novel Kingdom Come) reinventing digital comics quite successfully.

Danbooru – Frequently (almost always, considering the ads) NSFW archive of mostly fan art for Japanese media. Thought-provoking to see just which moments and details capture fans' attention, and inspire their creativity.

Good Bad Flicks – One of the best video-format B-movie review shows out there. Cecil Trachenburg understands a very important principle many others don't: listening to someone bitch about a bad movie is not automatically better entertainment than the bad movie itself.

The B-Masters Cabal – One of the longest-running B-movie reviewer supergroups on the web, in existence for over twelve years with over forty themed "roundtables" under their belts.

Bantam Street – Home page of Bantam Street Productions, most famous for the straight-faced spoof of 50's sci-fi B-movies, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. Their blog features frequent movie reviews by Robert Deveau, "The Doomed Farmer" (the role he played in Lost Skeleton.)

It's a Horror to Know You: 4thtroika

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

The Fly (1958). The ending completely freaked me out. The Fly's voice is the vocal equivalent of nails on a chalk board. Vincent Price actually thought this was funny?

2. What is the last film that scared you?

Requiem for a Dream (2000). Forget the war on drugs, just make everyone watch this. It has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer between the eyes. People don't consider this a horror movie? Ha! Give me Jason or Freddy or Chucky any day!

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

1. The Call of Cthulhu (2005). Some would say this movie has three things against it: black and white, a silent movie, and completely faithful to Lovecraft's story (no gore, no T&A, no CGI acid trip, etc.). I say those are the things it has going for it.

2. The Baby (1973). The first time I tried watching this, I shut it off after the first 18 minutes and wouldn't touch it for two weeks. This is one of those movies that gets under your skin and never leaves.

3. Sssssss (1973). I first saw this one years ago on the CBS Late Movie. It was rarely shown back then and I sometimes wondered if I'd hallucinated it. It's a really good movie and one of Universal's overlooked gems. The makeup is very effective.

Official Runner Up: Slither (2006). This movie really needs more love. Another overlooked gem from Universal.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

1. Blood Freak (1972). Don't do drugs or the turkey man'll getcha!

2. Five Across the Eyes (2006). The dialogue in this movie is laugh out loud hilarious. So bad it's hysterical.

3. Beach Girls and the Monster (1965). A.K.A. Monster From the Surf. Where else are you going to see a beach babe and a lion puppet sing a song by Frank Sinatra Junior?

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

1. Svengoolie.Com. The home site of Chicago's beloved horror movie host, now shown nationally on the ME-TV Network.

2. The Scriptorium. Lots of cool fonts to purchase and download.

3. Seventh Sanctum. Here you'll find a collection of 'generators' that make random characters, plots, ideas, and more to use in your writing, games, art and more.

4. Gitchy. An indie horror comedy about an evil clown that tickles people to death.

5. A Voice For Men. Take the red pill.

It's a Horror to Know You: M.Yowhan!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

Earliest horror movie memory would be the twins in the hall scene from The Shining, even though I didn't see the entire film until years later, in my 20s. Pet Sematary (I read the book as a preteen, and then later saw the move. Zelda to this day horrifies me). Also, while it's not a film, Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video would horrify me everytime it came on TV. I would just run out of the room.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

Insidious. This film was built up to me by my sister, who also loves horror films, and BOY did it deliver. And close second, Paranormal Activity 2. I thought the first one was a complete waste of time with very little thrills, but somehow the second one turned me around and genuinely freaked me out.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

The Others – Beautifully shot, great acting by the children, beautiful production values and at the same time creepy)

Terror Train – Great cast, lot of fun death scenes and costumes, and something about being trapped on a train with a murderer, that claustrophobic feel of cant' really escaping really makes the film.

The Blair Witch Project – One of those 90s films that you either love or hate, that I find genuinely mind-screwing. I don't recall any other film that was like this before it came out, but it has been the most mimicked since then.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

Tourist Trap – Have a weird love/hate thing with this movie. It's not a GREAT movie, but the creepiness, the beautiful/eerie score by Pino Donaggio, it somehow works.

The Legacy – Roger Daltrey, people that morph into cats, and the British countryside. Love this movie!

The Giant Claw – Not really a "horror" movie, but one of the most underrated monster movies I think of the past. Aside from the ridiculous effects of the Giant Claw bird/creature itself, the rest of the film is actually pretty well done, and well acted. But I do have a special love for that goofy prehistoric bird on a string.
5. Send us to five places on the Internet! (Include the URLs!)

5. Send us to five places on the internet!

O.T.I.S. (Odd Things I've Seen)…This site ran by JW Ocker is a lot of fun. He covers everything from sites where Stephen King based his films on, to outlandish burial places and weird museums around the world. Really fun with a lot of great photos from all his travels.

Dinosaur Dracula – run by the awesome Matt of former X-E site, Matt focuses on fun, sometimes gross toys of the 80s, rare low budget movie collectibles (everytime he features an item from "CONGO", I'm a happy girl) , and expresses his love for Tim Curry and The Golden Girls. What more do you want?

The Digital Bits – Great DVD reviews and news about upcoming releases of all kinds.

Wackbag.com – An Opie and Anthony Show message board, nothing else to say. Great place if you're a fan of the show.

Colin Kane – an up and coming comedian who's hilarious and hot at the same time. Check him out!

It's a Horror to Know You: Jason Rudy, Filmmaker at Desperate Visions!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

It would be Phantasm, I thought the sphere was going to fly out of the TV when the commercial came on, I was 6 years old in 1979 and would run out of the room in fear.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

I would say 28 days later.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Don't Answer the Phone (1980).

Eaten Alive (1977).

Trouble Every Day (2001).

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

Jaws (1975).

Any Friday the 13th film.

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996).

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

1. Indiegogo: Mondo Sacremento 2– I am raising money toward production of my newest film, Please help spread the word.

2. Daily Grindhouse– a cool film site.

3. Film School Rejects– another cool film site.

4. My youtube channel.

5. Pro Wrestling History. A good wrestling history site.