kindertrauma

Category: Kinder-News

Kinder-News :: Evil Children Double Feature!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

UNK SEZ: Possibly the most Kindertraumatic double feature of all time has been put together by our pal KEVIN MAHER! Folks who attend will delight in both the twisted wonder that is the 1980 cult favorite THE CHILDREN and one of my favorite TV movies ever DON'T GO TO SLEEP! There shall be trivia and there shall be prizes! This festival of fiendish tots will be held Thursday, July 7th at 92Y Tribeca, 200 Hudson Street in the land of NY, NY! Failure to experience this event will result in tears! Get more info at THISKEVIN and buy your tickets HERE!

Kinder-Editorial :: Kinderpal Erczilla on the Death of Blockbuster Video & the Awesomeness of Evil Dead 2

Posted on By aunt john

I come to both bury Blockbuster Video and faintly praise it. With Blockbuster Video filing for bankruptcy protection, it signals the final nail in the coffin of brick and mortar video stores. Blockbuster itself signaled the end of the greatest video stores of all, the mom and pop owned video store.

My appreciation of all things horror was heavily influenced by the gamble that was picking out a video off of the shelves of the local video store. The proprietors hardly had a clue of the deviance and insanity contained inside some of their tapes. Often the artwork would creatively disguise the crapfest one was about to rent, as in the case of RETURN TO HORROR HIGH or BLACK ROSES. The best moments were when one was able to mine through the stacks of slasher movies and ALIEN rip offs and discover a movie that would rock your socks off.

My older sister and I had such a moment when we picked up EVIL DEAD 2 off of the shelf of our local video store. The store was actually a gutted, double-wide trailer that reeked of mold and old newspapers and the poorly made shelves lined the wood paneled walls. There was a rickety old fashioned bar door that separated the normal videos from the porn tapes. The horror and science fiction tapes were of course very close to that rickety bar door. The store was the perfect mixture of sleaze and low rent cheesiness.

The video box cover with a smooth skull with intact eyes and the three star review from non other than ROGER EBERT were all it took to convince me. The experience was like no other and it shaped my taste in movies from then on. It was one of the only movies that I can recall rewinding and watching from the beginning just as soon as the credits started rolling.

When I heard that Blockbuster was going to open up a store in my small northern New Mexico town, I could hardly wait for it. The reality was rather disappointing. The small horror section was filled with popular mainstream titles and edited versions of movies that I had already seen. The mom and pop stores started to close one by one and took all the magic and mystery with them.

Netflix and streaming video is king now and I certainly appreciate them, but lost is the tactile experience of picking up the video box and being scared and titillated at the same time. If you don't like a movie now, you can just click on a new title to stream or mail back your DVD and get a new one in about a day. If you made a bad choice with a video rental you had it for two days and had to beg your parents to let you go back and get a new one before the weekend was over! No one will be traumatized by having to keep TROLL and GHOULIES for an entire weekend anymore.

Kinder-News:: Elvira's Movie Macabre Returns!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

UNK SEZ: Don't forget kiddies, ELVIRA's MOVIE MACABRE returns to television tonight! Investigate over HERE to find out what channel it's playing on in your neck of the woods. Tonight's movie is GEORGE ROMERO's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and if you miss it, you will cry like JULIANNE MOORE!

Kinder-News :: SPLICE Sequel Scrapped!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Regardless of its mostly positive critical reception it looks like plans for a SPLICE sequel are now being put on hold due to its lackluster box office receipts. The project tentatively titled SPLICE 2: DREN IN THE CITY was, until recently, on the fast track for a summer 2011 release. Insiders say the shutdown is for the best as early scripts, which involved genetic hybrid "Dren" traveling to Abu Dhabi to shop for shoes, were deemed by many to be in bad taste. One scene in particular, which found the celebrated chimera escorted to safety from an angry mob by a group of Muslim women, was deemed particularly objectionable. In the unfilmed scene, the sexy genetic mutation was to thank her rescuers profusely with chirps only to have the group of women lift up their burqas to expose mutant legs identical to those of Dren. How audiences would have reacted to such a controversial display is perhaps best left to the imagination. SPLICE fans may be confused as to how Dren, who not only changed sexes but also died in the first film, could shop for shoes anywhere much less Abu Dhabi. When asked to explain the inconsistency scriptwriter DYLAN McDILLWEED spelt "time machine" with Scrabble chips and then sprouted wings and flew away.

Kinder-News:: Suck and Moan!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Kinderpal and noted handsome cat JOEL BRYANT, star of the film BABY BLUES, has alerted us to a brand new web series that he's got his paws in called SUCK AND MOAN (not to be confused with the film of the same name that Aunt John starred in to pay for his textbooks books back in college.)

SUCK AND MOAN (yay, that title should bring us a bunch of Google hits!) chronicles the misadventures of a group of vampires that find their food source dwindling when a zombie outbreak sweeps the globe. If we know our JOEL this series is going to be a hoot and a half and then another half, so really two hoots.

Ever spend hours and hours staring off into space trying to decide between watching a vampire flick or a zombie movie? Snap out of it and reclaim your life with the one stop shopping of SUCK AND MOAN!

Check out the trailer below (which guarantees vampires with zero sparkles) and then read more about the series on its official site HERE.