Big thanks to SLASHER FILM SANCTUARY for giving us the bobble-heads up on this brand new TALKY TINA dolly based on one of our most favorite TWILIGHT ZONE episodes "Living Doll!"
Category: Kinder-News
Kinder-News :: FatherOfTears on Caroline Munro Turning 60!
UNK SEZ: CAROLINE MUNRO turned 60 yesterday and our pal FatherOfTears wants to celebrate and wish her well, take it away Father…
Yes, the British actress who was in such memorable movies as DRACULA AD 1972, CAPTAIN KRONUS: VAMPIRE HUNTER, MANIAC, SLAUGHTER HIGH and many others turns the big 6-0! CAROLINE first started out as a model, had a few bit parts in some late '60s movies and became the face for Lamb's Navy Rum for a ten year period. This got her noticed and she was cast as the dead wife of Dr. Phibes in the two VINCENT PRICE DOCTOR PHIBES movies. Yep, she played a stiff which meant she had to-um-play dead in her scenes. Not so easy as she was allergic to the feather boa she had to wear causing her to sneeze at times and requiring some scenes to be reshot! Soon she signed a "long term" contract with HAMMER FILMS (one year). She did DRACULA AD 1972 but she turned down DR. JEKYLL AND SISTER HYDE, FRANKENSTEIN AND THE MONSTER FROM HELL and an unmade VAMPIRELLA movie as they contained nudity. She would do CAPTAIN KRONUS which is a personal favorite of mine. The movie's writer, BRIAN CLEMONS of THE AVENGERS (T.V. show) fame then got her the big break by having her cast in THE GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD as Margiana, the slave girl.
THE GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD was my first CAROLINE MUNRO film as I saw this movie in a theater in the mid-'70,s at the age of 7. Now, at that time I was more interested in the stop motion monsters that were used in the movie but that would soon change. SINBAD would give her other big roles including AT THE EARTH'S CORE (Which probably provided kindertraumas for some with the pig faced half human creatures who "talked" by making grunting/barking sounds) with PETER CUSHING & DOUG MAcCLURE plus she had a guest starring role in THE NEW AVENGERS episode "The Angel of Death" complete with her getting into a fight with Purdey. In the late '70s she would get her biggest role as Naomi the helicopter pilot in the James Bond Film THE SPY WHO LOVED ME. To be in that film she turned down another big-time offer: To be Ursa in the late 70's SUPERMAN movie! Imagine if she did that and the sequel instead of SARAH DOUGLAS!
However, not everything she did was pure gold. She took the lead role in the badly done sci-fi movie STARCRASH (How MST3K missed this, I don't know). She would also do some "slasher films" in the 1980's with MANIAC, THE LAST HORROR FILM and SLAUGHTER HIGH. This would help getting her the "Scream Queen" tag. She would also have a singing career plus she would be featured in ADAM ANT's video of "Goody Two Shoes" as the reporter (and a possible Sarah Palin prototype!) There was also talk of having her be in a proposed but never filmed DOCTOR WHO movie as the Doctor's companion…which is when I learned her name!
By the '90s CAROLINE would cut back on her work to spend more time with her family (but she would have a role in the film TO DIE FOR). She has done some T.V. interviews about horror films plus she can be found at an occasional comic book/sci-fi fan gatherings held across the globe signing autographs.
So let's celebrate CAROLINE's milestone birthday. Watch CAPTAIN KRONOS, MANIAC or THE GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD on DVD or watch, and perhaps laugh, at her video performance in "Goody Two Shoes." Hell, if you have that MST3K "Shadowrama" sticker that sticks to T.V.s, stick it on your T.V. screen and riff STARCRASH.
In Memorium :: Art Clokey
He was once responsible for that little green ball of clay, and now he's dead.
(Thanks to FatherofTears for bumming me out today!)
In Memoriam: Dan O'Bannon 1946-2009
UNK SEZ: The great DAN O'BANNON died yesterday at the age of 63. I know he's more famous for writing the beyond masterpiece ALIEN and directing the beyond classic RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, but I have to give a little shout-out to another film credit of his that truly left an indelible mark on me, 1981's DEAD AND BURIED…
"Come Dan, let me fix that for you…"
Kinder-News :: Attention Kindertrauma Shoppers!
UNK SEZ: Kindertrauma apparel! You've dreamt about it and now it's real! Why waste your precious time with exhausting workout routines, over priced self-help books, goofy yoga positions and fruitless meditation when you can improve who you are as person simply by buying new clothing? Do you really want to be the last person on your block wearing one of these babies? Be you an oldster, new born, emo, goth, tranny, hillbilly or time traveling Puritan, you are going to look like a fashion God or Goddess if you slip into one of these garments!
Psst! All you guys out there having trouble with the ladies say goodbye to excruciating loneliness forever. Purchase one of these items and your days of binoculars and blow up dolls are gone for good. Ladies, is Prince Charming taking his sweet time hitting you with that happily ever after stick? Shell out some green and it's off to the ball, your gal pals left fuming and stomping in out of control jealous hissy fits! In today's struggling economy you need to wear clothes, why don't you wear these clothes?
Animal fans, do you realize that all of the proceeds from your purchase will surely go to feeding our five cats? Vegetarians, that means you can even eat a hamburger while wearing one of these shirts and nobody will holler at you!
Just in time for the holidays, here comes Kindertrauma apparel, reasonably priced goods that will turn every trash-strewn sidewalk you walk on into a fancy-schmancy, highfalutin catwalk!
Note: Kindertrauma is not responsible for loss of privacy due to paparazzi attack!
Buy now, think later, suddenly life is yours for the taking!
AUNT JOHN SEZ: So here's how it works. Kindertrauma has partnered up with Zazzle and they print the shirts, ship ‘em out, and gladly take them back if you are not 100% satisfied. All the designs are customizable, so if you don't care for the style of a particular shirt, you can pick from over 250 styles and colors. Basic t-shirts start at $16 and some change + shipping & handling (bargain!) and from there the prices go up depending upon how awesome you want to look. Don't be a clown this holiday season… WEAR A CLOWN!
UNK SEZ: Still clinging fiercely to that wallet and or purse and or coffer of leprechaun gold? Take a look at these cats who will surely starve if you do not buy a shirt! Look into their pathetic eyes and tell them you would rather shop at Old Navy this holiday season!
Note: Two of our beloved felines declined to participate in Kindertrauma's "Ize get to eat!" ad campaign (Gato Malo and Victoria "Figgy" Figgstone respectively.) Gato described it as, "a truly nauseating attempt at attention grabbing" and lil' Figgy called it, "a kitty-cat exploitasionsplosion!" We would like to state for the record that no cats were intentionally exploited during the SARAH McLACHLAN supervised red-hot photo shoot. (They chose these sexy poses themselves!) Furthermore, all claims of starvation are facetious. In the cases of Rory and Kevin, who are both a mere six months of age, kitten labor laws were strictly adhered to.
In Memorium:: Edward Woodward 1930-2009
UNK SEZ:: EDWARD, you had no equal(izer)! Watch the full Maypole scene from THE WICKER MAN over HERE!
Kinder-News :: The Second Annual Kindertrauma Halloween Parade (It's On!)
Hey kids, it's your Aunt John here with some pretty spook-tacular news! After squaring off against the neighborhood civic association, posting a pretty hefty bond for extra police security, and promising that we would have no arrests for drunk & disorderly conduct, I received the final permits necessary to hold the SECOND ANNUAL KINDERTRAUMA HALLOWEEN PARADE on the east lawn of Kindertrauma Castle.
If there's one thing your Aunt John loves more than a parade (I'm a sucker for marching bands and pageantry), it's writing inane parade banter. In the dark hours of sleepless nights when I find myself battling insomnia and questioning my career choices, I really think I missed the boat on that vocation.
While last year's parade was tip-top and top-notch (save for the aforementioned arrests), I did hear some grumbles from folks who couldn't participate because they didn't have any childhood pictures of themselves in Halloween regalia. To remedy this oversight, I am opening the floodgates and leveling the proverbial playing field. If you happen to have a picture of yourself (from child or adulthood) or your pets (cats, dogs, parrots, pot-bellied teacup pigs, etc.) in a Halloween get-up then I invite you to join in on the fun.
Please send your picture and any relevant information (back-story, a link back to your blog, etc.) to kindertrauma@gmail.com (try to include HALLOWEEN PARADE somewhere in the subject line) by Friday, October 30th.
The festivities will kick off on the highest of all holy days (Saturday the 31st… DUH!). Don't let this parade pass you by!
