kindertrauma

Category: Name That Trauma!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Carolyanne on Machine Gun Toting Pink Hippo

Posted on By unkle lancifer

name that trauma!

I recently remembered a film from my childhood that did a fair amount of damage, and was hoping that it could possibly be resolved.  The movie was a messed up MUPPET SHOW type thing, complete with animal puppets.  However, the one scene that I can clearly remember is a large, pink puppet hippo going apeshit with a machine gun, and blowing the living nards off of all the other puppets.  I also sort of remember this war parody in the movie where puppet frogs shoot themselves in the head (looking back, I think it may have been a DEER HUNTER parody).  The final thing I remember was a puppet elephant was training these cute little baby furball things, and something fell and graphically squashed them.  It's been bugging me for a while, mainly because I want to re-watch it and find out what upset me so much about it.


UNK SEZ: Dear Carolyanne, the movie you have described is most certainly MEET THE FEEBLES. The question is, (and I've never typed these words on this site before) what in the world were you doing watching that movie as a kid? Good Lordie, that movie, though hilarious and directed by THE LORD OF THE RINGS' PETER JACKSON, is not suitable for anybody under the age of…heck, it's really not ever suitable… that's part of its charm. We are talking, after all, about a film whose big show stopping musical number is entitled "The Sodomy Song." If those three scenes are all that you remember, than I say you got off easy! By the way, it turns out that JACKSON could not get a hold of blanks for that Hippo's machine gun rampage so those are real bullets being shot from that gun! Now, go rent THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTEN for Pete's sake!!!

Name That Trauma :: Kitty On Castrating Witch-Faced Girl

Posted on By unkle lancifer

name that trauma!

Dearest Kinderbabies:

Every time I view your site (it's much more than merely a blog, really), I find something new and excellent to play with. I've been reading through the Name That Trauma section, and I think I have a title to add to the list…

The movie was clearly dubbed, but I can't remember (I was 5) if the original language was French or Italian. All I remember about the movie is that it centers around a little girl who, at night, becomes possessed by something evil. Her appearance changes while she is under the influence of the spirit; she takes on the persona of an old witch or something – it's totally weird. On one of her late night killing jaunts, she hacks off a dude's wiener and stuffs it into her chest of drawers all wrapped in a handkerchief. The next thing I remember is the little girl receiving the Death Blow (while possessed by the Old Witch Thing). She then changes back to the sweet, little girl, and utters her final words: "now I can die in peace," or something to that effect.

Any ideas??

Kitty has faith in you.

UNK L SEZ: Dearest Kitty of our new favorite haunt KILLER KITTENS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE, I actually know the answer to that one! (It happens!) That is most certainly DEMON WITCH CHILD (unless there's two demonic child witch movies that feature a castration). It's actually a Spanish flick directed by AMANDO DE OSSORIO, the guy responsible for all those groovy blind-dead movies. It was recently made available on DVD as part of a bargain priced set called The Grindhouse Experience Volume 1 that also includes the kinder-fave movie THE CHILDREN. We've yet to properly cover that particular killer kid flick here @ Kindertrauma but keep your eyes peeled, it's definitely in the cards!


UPDATE: Our Darling Kitty has now posted a wonderful, comprehensive review of DEMON WITCH CHILD over at KILLER KITTENS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. Make sure you take time to CHECK IT OUT!

Traumafessions :: Reader Renee N. on Levitating Sphere/Blob-Shaped Monster

Posted on By unkle lancifer

name that trauma!

Remember a little while back when reader Tom B. had a Traumafession about an electric talking octopus in a movie of whose name he had no idea? Well, one of our other readers Grokenstein solved that mystery right quick, identifying the movie as THE ATOMIC SUBMARINE.

Almost immediately a strange new feeling wafted through the Kindertrauma offices. It was a feeling of gratification and purpose. Maybe with the help of some of our knowledgeable readers like Grokenstein we could help people not only talk about their childhood traumas, but also identify them as well. As luck would have it, it didn't take long for another opportunity to I.D. a traumaic memory to surface. Here's a nameless trauma from reader Renee N., neither Aunt John nor myself has any idea what this kind lady is speaking of. Maybe one of you guys do? Leave a comment or write in to kindertrauma@gmail.com if the following rings any type of bell with you. Let's try to help the long-suffering Renee get some closure!!!

Hi!  I love your site, kindertrauma, and I'm really hoping you can help me out with identifying a movie I saw when I was a kid that I only barely remember (but it scared the shit out of me and still haunts me with this one image…) I very hazily remember that the plot centers around these 2 kids, and they end up traveling to this magical city or something, maybe it was in the clouds? Everything seems fine in this place except for one thing (this is the part that scared me) – in the center of town there's this big pit or well, and in it lives this giant, levitating sphere/blob shaped monster.  It looks like a big floating grayish ball with a face on one side, and the people in the city make sacrifices to it or something.  The only other thing I remember is that the kids eventually get away and go back home or to the real world or wherever it is they came from.

I saw it when I was pretty little, so it was probably made in the early to mid eighties?  I know that's basically nothing to go on, but if it rings any bells please let me know, it's been driving me crazy for almost 2 decades!  I have to know what the hell was up with that blob-thing and why in god's name would a kid's movie show something so scary?

UPDATE: Reader Sébastien M. just wrote in with the following answer:

The movie you're looking for is called THE GREAT LAND OF SMALL (1987). It's a French Canadian movie that I remember seeing on TV here in Québec under the French title "Ce n'est pas parce qu'on est petit qu'on ne peut pas être grand".

In this movie a leprechaun takes two kids from our world into a magical realm that includes a floating boulder-thing called Slimo that transmogrifies creatures into butterflies. So that blob monster you're referring to is probably Slimo.

Matthew was really close to find it when he came across THE PEANUT BUTTER SOLUTION (Opération beurre de Pinottes) because both films were created by the same production company Les Productions La Fête. THE GREAT LAND OF SMALL was directed by Vojtech Jasny and it is the 5th installment in the Tales for All (Contes pour tous) series of childrens movie. You can find the movie on DVD on the first box set of the Contes pour tous which was released in Canada in 2006. Unfortunately, I don't think this release has the English audio and subtitle.

I remember being scared of that movie too as a child and this is really a great Traumafession! It brings back so much memories. There was always something really odd and creepy about those French Canadians children movies made in the 80's. You have to see them to know what I mean. Maybe it was the low budget factor!

Traumafessions :: Reader Tom B. On Electric Talking Octopus?

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Dear Traumameisters: I don't scare easy. Most horror stuff bores me or makes me laugh. Even back in the day. But there was this one thing on TV… Don't ask me what the show or movie was. I googled and found a couple old movies from the '50s, one by Corman, about octopi that went postal. But all they did was get big and beat on stuff. This was different. I was no more than ten, probably, which puts this event in the late '60s. Broad daylight, some black-and-white movie or show is on.

SCENE: Underwater. Several divers confront a big octopus. Octopus TALKS! Something like "What the hell are you doing in my domain?" or "I rule your sh%t!" Octopus points a tentacle at one diver and shoots LIGHTNING! The man melts to a sizzling skeleton before my unbelieving eyes. Graphic detail. Smoke coming out of eye sockets, if I remember correctly. Octopus says something like "See what happens when you F with me?" All I can tell you is that I went ape and begged my mother to change the channel and make that nightmare go away. I have never seen anything scarier, except maybe ALIEN. Good thing I was 20 when that came out. If I had seen ALIEN when I was ten, I would probably have put out my eyes.


UNKLE L. SEZ: I am stumped to say the least. Does anyone out there have any idea what our pal Tom is talking about? Is he insane? Is he trying to drive me crazy? Is it a waking nightmare or reality that he has witnessed? Please help Tom. I know I can't!

KINDER UPDATE: Our Genius reader Grokenstein solved the mystery!!! The movie has got to be ATOMIC SUBMARINE (1959)! The movie is in black and white and features a squid like underwater alien that shoots lightening and smoke, all while talking smack to his prey. In fact, some believe that the one eyed bully may have been an inspiration for the aliens KANG and KODOS from THE SIMPSONS! Thanks Grok, for being the smartest guy in town and I think I owe our pal Tom an apology for implying that he had lost his marbles!!!! Get ready folks here is a picture of the dreaded creature!!!!

Holy Mackerel ! He kinda looks like this guy: