Category: Stream Warriors

Today is the day for ENCOUNTER WITH THE UNKNOWN. I have no excuse for not watching this regional anthology sooner as it has been creeping around these pages for some time. Our buddy Crafty Pants Carol included it in her "It's a Horror to Know You" and "Creepy Lady Faces" posts and it has been the sought after answer in Name That Trauma's from as far back as Bigwig's in 2010 and as recent as Steve Q's from earlier this week. What was I waiting for, a written invitation? And so watch it I did and now here I am all in your face pressuring you to follow suit…

Narrated by the legendary ROD SERLING, this TWILIGHT ZONE inspired grab-bag of supernatural yarns is admittedly tame by standards of both today and yesteryear though that doesn't necessarily curb its ability to offer a few chills. Anyone who grew up in the seventies is likely to get at least a nostalgic buzz from the film's overall eerie vibe. I myself felt right at home with this flick or more specifically, right at home in my backyard, in a tent, at the age of twelve, holding a flashlight in my shaky hand. In other words you could probably knit this together with faves THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK and SCREAMS OF A WINTER NIGHT into one big five hour long scarf of a movie and I doubt anyone would notice the seams.

Oh sure, its flawed up the wazoo, it shamelessly pads its running time by showing the same scenes over and over again but you're either charmed by such things or you wouldn't be watching it in the first place. I believe the movie's persistence in showing up time and again around these parts is proof enough of its effectiveness. It may be shoddy and makeshift but there's something spooky enough going on here to make it sticky. Maybe its pure nostalgia, I could almost hear the theme to "IN SEARCH OF…" while I watched and that's good enough for me. You won't believe any of these "true stories" but you'll be reminded of when you might have.

ENCOUNTER was directed by HARRY THOMASON who has several semi-forgotten Arkansas –set drive-in spookers under his belt (REVENGE OF BIGFOOT, SO SAD ABOUT GLORIA, THE DAY IT CAME TO EARTH) and remarkably went on to great television success as a producer, director and writer (THE FALL GUY, DESIGNING WOMEN, and not so much with EMERIL) and a prolific partnership with his wife LINDA BLOODWORTH THOMASON. Believe it or not, 20 years after the release of ENCOUNTER, THOMASON would be all kinds of chummy with the President of the United States Bill Clinton and even testifying on his behalf before the Grand Jury during the Lewinsky scandal. Who'da thunk?

I say it's high time we have a "Be Kind to SIESTA (1987) Day" around here. Poor SIESTA never gets enough love. I guess that's what a movie gets for being so insane. If only it were on DVD I'd feel fine placing it on the shelf right between fellow trippy brain scramblers, JACOB'S LADDER, ANGEL HEART & MULHOLLAND DR. but sadly it is not (at least not in these parts). SIESTA is directed by MARY (PET SEMATARY) LAMBERT and you can tell because it sorta visually resembles a MADONNA music video. In fact , I believe it shares some footage with LA ISLA BONITA. The tone is something else though, it's got a creepy nightmare vibe enhanced by a haunting and hypnotic MILES DAVIS score. Rumor has it that LAMBERT asked her pal MADONNA to star but she said, "Nope" which is fine because that's how we get ELLEN BARKIN.

BARKIN stars as Claire who is having one of those mornings. You know the kind where you wake up on the side of the road remembering nothing wearing blood-soaked clothes. The rest of the film she staggers around Spain trying to figure out if she killed somebody while encountering every single person you wouldn't expect to see hamming it up in a movie together. Are you ready for GABRIEL BRYNE, JULIAN SANDS, ISABELLA ROSSELLINI, GRACE JONES (!), THE YOUNG ONES' ALEXEI SAYLE and a near LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVES DOWN THE LANE reunion in the form of MARTIN SHEEN & JODIE "My House!" FOSTER? Wait, maybe this movie actually is based on a dream I once had. Some folks make bigger fools of themselves than others but I'll let you judge for yourself who escapes with the most dignity. Of course critics for the most part attacked this film like a pack of rabid dogs but the bizarreness that makes it so easy to rip to shreds is exactly what makes it such an interesting and unique view. I heart me some SIESTA and am listening the soundtrack as we speak. Make sure you check it out if you've yet to…

I forgot to tell all you critters that while I was rummaging through HULU's boss freebie pile I spotted an old pal, BASKET CASE 2! I love this wonderfully bizarre, surprisingly thoughtful, highly hilarious sequel so much that my brain now tends to think of the original BASKET CASE as a prequel. Who can blame me when SUPERMAN 3's reluctant robot lady ANNIE ROSS rules so hard in BC2? She really should be forced to star in everything forever for the benefit of mankind. If you have a mind to, you can read my full crusty & dusty review HERE, catch the snappy trailer below and then happily skip on over to the HULU joint to watch this fine feathered freak-fest for the sensational price of zero plus zero clams! Make sure you tell them Unk sent you so that you may marvel at the profound indifference that statement yields!

TOTALLY TRUE TID-BIT: Here's ANNIE as a kid in an OUR GANG short!

Today's picks are all available to stream for free on HULU. I'm not sure if HULU is available everywhere so if you don't get HULU, seek out these flicks anyway. HULU is pretty annoying. You gotta deal with commercials, pathetic attempts to convince you to upgrade to HULU-plus and the generally loud and unappealing look of the joint. It's like the place is lit with industrial florescent lights. Have I mentioned I loathe the color white more than hydrangeas? Who cares because they have FREE movies and we're all about that! Here are five flicks that deserve your attention.

ENTER NOWHERE (2011)

I took this one out from the library a while back (support your local library!) and now I'm so glad I can share this find via HULU. The only reason I wanted to see this was because of THE INNKEEPERS' SARA PAXTON but I ended up liking everybody in it and digging it more than I expected. It's about three strangers who inexplicably find themselves lost in the woods. I was all convinced I was being set up for ye old "We're already dead!" routine but ENTER NOWHERE has a whole other batch of tricks up its sleeve. There's a very interesting TWILIGHT ZONE vibe going on here and I found the limited setting and the eventual camaraderie between the characters highly enjoyable. PAXTON is predictably charming, KATHERINE WATERSON is genuine and convincing and SCOTT EASTWOOD is exactly the right level of handsome to get away with clunky acting every one in a while. The camera loves him like it loved his pa CLINT circa THE BEGUILED, and that goes a long way. ENTER NOWHERE is so story and character driven that it could easily work as a stage play and I'd put it up along with THE DARK HOURS (2005) and DEAD END (2003) as a worthwhile head-trippy independent keeper.

ISOLATION (2006)

This one was recommended to me a while back (review HERE). It was something I could have very easily passed over and I'm so thankful I didn't. You'd never know it but ISOLATION is an engaging, wonderfully slimy monster movie.

TESIS (1996)

Released the same year as SCREAM, TESIS did not make anywhere near a comparable impact but it's amazing what a better predictor it is of themes that are popular in horror today. It's also interesting to consider it predates THE RING and BLAIR WITCH with its preoccupation with VHS/found-footage horror. Director ALEJANDRO AMENABAR would go on to deliver OPEN YOUR EYES and the hit THE OTHERS, but the darkest road he has traveled remains this quietly influential debut.

YELLOWBRICKROAD (2010)

I have quite the love/hate relationship with this movie (full review HERE.) As much as I refuse to outright like it, here I am still thinking about it. I don't get it. It's very possible that this movie just has some real, undiluted crazy in it and therefore I shall never truly be capable of fully scraping it off of my shoe. It may be more fun to think about than it is to actually watch but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

TOWER OF EVIL (1972)

We previously covered this one in our SEVEN FROM THE SEVENTIES post. I love me some seaside horror and this movie has the coolest seventies clothes, deliciously grisly death scenes and plenty of fog infused atmosphere. The original story comes courtesy of GEORGE BAXT who's responsible for another favorite I can always count on to put me in the desired creepy mood, CITY OF THE DEAD (1960). This is a must see but you might want to wait till its dark out to get the full effect.

Hope you guys enjoy these and try not to let those pesky commercials ruin the fun!

Abby (1974) starts with a group of students talking to Dr. Williams, who is an expert on the deity of chaos and trickery, Eshu. Soon to be leaving for Nigeria on an archeological expedition, his students give him a sweet silver cross necklace as a going away gift.

While exploring caves, they find a box with a carving on it. More specifically, it's Eshu with an erection. I can't be sure, but as they struggle with how to open it, I think they end up twisting the wooden boner. Dr. Williams exclaims, "Yes, of course!"

The box is opened, dust flies everywhere, and there are several demon cut away flashes of what looks like a female Hulk (Lou Ferrigno style).

Eshu proceeds to make an instantaneous cross continental journey back to good ole' Louisville, Kentucky to wreck havoc on Dr. William's daughter-in-law (Abby) and extended family! What follows is a passive aggressive possession of Abby and her violent sexual adventures. I mean, why didn't Eshu just go after Dr. Williams and his team in Nigeria? When Reverend Emit (Abby's husband) calls Dr. Williams to tell him what's going down, Dr. Williams takes a stab at logic and thinks it's because Abby is overwhelmed by, "All the Church and community activities." At one point, Abby feels like some kind of Saturday Night Fever/Exorcist splice up. Disco/funk music plays in the background as Abby alternates between being horny and picking up guys in a bar, to violently tossing these same guys across the room while laughing maniacally.

The cornucopia of expletives that flows forth from possessed Abby's mouth is reason enough to watch this film! As Abby says, "Killing is too much fun!"

Warner Bros. sued the filmmakers and won for copyright infringement of The Exorcist(1973). Abby was actually removed from theaters in 1974 and did not resurface again until 2004!! Hope you all enjoy it as much as I did!

What does OFFERINGS (1989) have against me? I was not even able to finish it the first time I tried to watch it back somewhere in that missing decade. I am forever searching for that elusive hidden classic and I doubt I was too far into OFFERINGS before I realized it wasn't classic and should probably stay hid. Its title evaporated in my head but it left all this stupid debris anyway. Sometimes I'd wonder to myself, "What was that movie with the terrifyingly hideous orange wallpaper?" or "What was that stupid movie that had that poorly executed bit about kids eating pizza with human flesh on it thinking it was sausage?" or "What the heck was that boring movie with the strange cake eating parents who laugh maniacally while watching cartoons?" In all cases the answer was the same; gosh darn OFFERINGS. This was before KT so it wasn't like I could write up a Name That Trauma and Googling "hideous orange wallpaper" would get me nowhere. Plus there was the fact that I had absolutely no desire to watch whatever movie it was again to consider. That really curtailed the search.

Then again, dipping my psychological pigtails in ink is a great way for a crap-tastic movie to endear itself to me and it's not as if my sensibilities have not nose-dived towards the bottom of the barrel lately. OFFERINGS is terrible and rather hypnotically so. It's like watching a dozen HALLOWEEN rip offs in one sitting because it goes on forever and whatever trance everybody in this movie is in, is highly contagious. Let's face it too that at the end of the day I'd rather see something atrociously flawed than something all Hollywood-sanitized and pruned of all character. It's my curse.

Here's an example of why OFFERINGS is maddeningly stuck in my craw. One scene finds our dazed heroine preparing dog food for the family pooch. Her front door bell rings and so she goes to answer it carrying a full spoon of dog food because who has time to put a spoon down? At the door is her friend who sees the spoon sporting an unidentified substance and then bends down and eats whatever it may be and is alarmed to find that she has just eaten dog food. Who does that? And more importantly why am I so fascinated by the idea that somebody out there at one point thought human beings might behave this way. I will give points for the line, "Serves you right!" which is the spoon girl's response to her friend's insane actions because truer words have never been spoken. There are dozens more inexplicable occurrences in this guesstimated 9-hour long movie but I should really just let them go and move on with what is left of my squandered existence.

Maybe you shouldn't watch it. Maybe you should just put it on and do something else while listening to its wonderfully shameless rip-off score. It's up to you. All I know is that I found it on YouTube with a better picture than I recall and spectacularly enhanced with spicy Spanish subtitles! Yay! It's called OFFERINGS because the killer leaves random body parts like ears and noses behind as gifts. If it was up to me though, I would have titled it THE HOUSE WITH THE SCREAMING WALLPAPER.

The other night I found myself jonesing for some ABEL FERRARA. He does that thing where he makes movies about stuff he's actually interested in rather than crap that panders to lame-o's. I love when people do that. It reminds me of art! Our pal has plenty of masterpieces under his belt. DRILLER KILLER, MS. 45, KING OF NEW YORK…aces all. But do you know the movie of his I hold closest to my heart? Why it's THE ADDICTION.

You should not be surprised by that because it stars LILI TAYLOR, is shot in black and white and is so morose it makes Eeyore look like RICHARD SIMMONS. It's my favorite vampire flick besides THE HUNGER. Lots of folks tell me it's an allegory for drug addiction but I think that's only one casket at this mass funeral. FERRARA gets all up into humanity's addiction to evil and he's not afraid to point an accusing finger at the victims who stand back and allow or even invite evil to occur. I can understand this movie not being for everyone, it goes a little overboard with the quoting of philosophers and there are a few scenes that are truly barking mad. I don't care though, because that's what gives this strange movie is singular personality. In any case you have to witness CHRISTOPHER WALKEN's delivery of the line, "You know nothing!" and the bit where TAYLOR, confronted by an image of Christ on a pamphlet, goes mega beserker equating goodness with slavery ripping off her clothes and screaming, "I will not submit!" Plus it's chock full of New York night life and mid-nineties rap. Who isn't craving some "I Wanna Get High" from CYPRUS HILL? You're lying. Watch THE ADDICTION below, it's regrettably not on DVD at least not in these parts.

Now I get it! DON'T OPEN THE DOOR is on my list of films I always fish for on YouTube and always fail to catch. Then the other night, there it was just staring me in the face like it was there all along claiming to have been posted more than a year ago. How is that possible? Turns out I have been searching for it with the year 1975 attached while the YouTube video says 1974. I guess that's why it never got stuck in my net. Well, IMDb agrees with ‘74, I have no idea where I got ‘75 from and to make matters muddier the actual film sports ‘79 in its opening credits. Are we talking when it was made or when it was released? I'm confused enough to stop pretending that I have any concept of time in the first place. The important thing is that I got to see this movie again! DON'T OPEN THE DOOR was directed by the always interesting independent filmmaker S.F. BROWNRIGG whose first film DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT (1973) haunted late night airwaves throughout my youth. I had seen DOOR once before on VHS and although the entire film hadn't rocked my world, I was wowed by its climax which took place in a lighthouse-like crow's nest cupola complete with colored glass windows. It stuck in my head.

But how did I forget the film's opening credits? How? It consists of an assortment of creepy dolls standing in a black void and it is the swellest thing ever. Maybe I blocked it out because I wasn't cool enough to appreciate the awesomeness yet. That must be it. Oh geez, I wasn't ready for any of this movie back then! That was before I realized that the best plot in the world concerns a young lady returning to her childhood home where she once witnessed a parent being murdered. Why are movies ever about anything else? It also doesn't hurt that our main lady (SUSAN BRACKEN) acts like a cross between NAOMI WATTS in MULHOLLAND DRIVE and a petulant LINDA BLAIR or that the entire film looks like the grooviest candy-coated art flick that CINDY SHERMAN forgot to make. I'm probably not the best person to speak on the subject of feminism because my favorite Spice Girl is Baby Spice (I know Sporty has better pipes but did she attempt an awesome ode to Carol Anne from POLTERGEIST?), but somebody really should write a term paper about how every menacing man in this movie tries to get our heroine to bend to their will only to get a full blast of her nuclear ire instead. Sure, madness is her only reward and that's the same resigning towel THE YELLOW WALLPAPER threw in.

What on Earth am I talking about? I should say that there is a legitimate swampy ten minutes of redundancy that you have to drag yourself through to get to the glorious denouement but don't cry during that part, just use that opportunity to make yourself a tuna fish sandwich. Put pickles on it, that's what I did. If your refrigerator does not offer pickles, push it out the door and buy a new one.

Today we have an especially special rarity thanks to our good pal Crafty Pants Carol! It's Bloodrage (1979) (not to be confused with that OTHER BLOOD RAGE from 1987). It's directed by JOSEPH ZITO, the underappreciated dude who brought us THE PROWLER and FRIDAY THE 13th PART 4: THE ALMOST ENDING. It's about a misanthropic ne'er-do-well who finds himself killing hookers so you might want to ask yourself, "Do I mind movies in which many prostitutes are killed?" before you watch it. Personally, I think hookers are fascinating and should not be murdered but I also take into account that the psychopath in this movie works at a YOO HOO bottling plant and I can't honestly say how my own brain would handle that. I might quit before I killed a hooker but who knows, maybe not. The most important thing is that this movie is filmed in New York in the late seventies and it's totally worth it for the seedy atmosphere and all the mesmerizing secondary characters that inhabit its raunchy halls. That reminds me, I'm sad to say a nice non-hooker doggy also gets killed which I wasn't happy about but thankfully a cute kitten poster is prominently displayed in many scenes to balance out that atrocity.

Also windows! So many creepy windows! At the risk of sounding like a peeping Tom, I think windows in movies are the coolest things ever because it's like a frame within a frame. While the viewer is watching the screen, the character is watching the window and its like some kooky mirror effect like you're trapped inside a M.C. ESCHER print on some stoner art student's dorm room wall. Anyway, I love this movie! It stinks on some level because it's partially ramshackle and clearly some important scenes were never filmed and we just have to deal with dialogue band-aids to hold the thing together but then again, it has a very convincing nihilistic flavor that would make it snuggly bedfellows with HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER , CANNIBAL MAN & THE KILLING KIND. I'm not proud to enjoy a movie with such a high dead hooker quotient (yeah, right) and yet I must acknowledge the fact that BLOOD RAGE is a success in expressing a completely horrific and dismal atmosphere and there's no better time or place to capture it than when and where it does. I'm also allowing it extra points for making me want a HEAVEN CAN WAIT poster because I don't even like that movie.