Category: Sunday Streaming

Who wants to feel terrible? Yeah, me too! Gather around because I'm about to ruin your day! Don't be shy! I only want to confirm your suspicions that humans are capable of the most horrible things. IN HER SKIN is based on a true story and I'm still trying to wrap my head around that. It's the tragic tale of a family dealing with the disappearance of their 15-year-old daughter and their coming to terms with what befell her once her heart-breaking fate is discovered. It's currently on Netflix Streaming and why have I never heard of it? People should throw awards at everybody in it! Did you like HEAVENLY CREATURES? Of course you did! And you'll dig this also. I say that because this too is a reality-based story with flashes of surreal, psychologically expressive fantasy not because I don't know the difference between New Zealand where HEAVENLY CREATURES is set and Australia where IN HER SKIN's events occurred. I promise I do.

It's hard to imagine anyone who would want to do harm to the Barbers' daughter, Rachel who is pretty, talented and loves life. That is until you meet her next-door neighbor and former baby sitter Caroline Reid Robertson who is not so pretty, not so talented and not so life-loving. Caroline suffers from a raging hatred of herself. She covets Rachel's seemingly charmed existence to the point where she fantasizes, obsesses and ultimately devises a plan to appropriate her life by destroying it. If I'm making this sound like your standard SINGLE WHITE-usurper Lifetime drama than I really stink because it's not. Director/writer SIMONE NORTH takes what could have been such and creates something darkly poetic and profound.

GUY PEARCE and MIRANDA OTTO give excellent performances as the slowly loosing hope parents of Rachel and SAM NEILL is convincingly artic as Caroline's emotionally absent father. The real stunner though is RUTH BRADLEY as roaring misery monster Caroline. She oozes the most uncomfortable type of madness… sad, sick, insecure and, most challenging of all, somewhat sympathetic. (She kept me flashing back to that line from SESSION 9: "I live in the weak and the wounded".) As impossible as her actions are to fathom, it's nearly as difficult to understand the inaction of those in her life to get her the help she outright begged for.

Grim, shocking and fascinating, IN HER SKIN coils around the viewer like a snake. As rare as this true case may be there's something common and timely about Caroline's frenzied coveting of someone else's life to the point of destroying it and her own. Seriously, how much of our current culture goads and feeds upon people hating themselves and desiring to be someone else? This is a hard movie to watch and it's a hard movie to turn away from- even though turning away is exactly what we all seem to have been trained to do. Go on, check it out. You're looking a little too chipper today anyway.

If you wanted to trap me and keep me prisoner it would be easy. All you'd have to do is a put a T.V. in the room you desire to detain me in and have that T.V. playing CELEBRITY GHOST STORIES, PARANORMAL WITNESS, A HAUNTING or anything else of that ilk. I will be trapped. I will be incapable of escape as long as a supernatural eyewitness show is playing. I love ghost stories. I love hearing people recount frightening things that happened to them (hence this site). I am your best audience if you have a scary story to tell. I will believe you! All you need do is be sincere! MY AMITYVILLE HORROR is fascinating but only because I will behave like a jolly raccoon toward any Amityville crumb that is flung at me. Beyond that, it's undeniably unsatisfying. "High Hopes" indeed.

On paper the thing can't loose. Who wouldn't want to have a conversation with the eldest son of the infamous Lutz family who spent roughly a month being terrorized in the world's most haunted abode? The only trouble is Daniel Lutz is the type of guy that if you bumped into him on the street and he said, "Hey, buddy can I talk to you?" the first thought that would pop into your head would be, "Oh geez, here comes a spiel!" He does not instill confidence; rather, one just hopes they can squirm away from him without having bought a used car. I can't blame Daniel for this documentary feeling weak though; he's obviously been around the block and has learned to fill his pockets with as many meatballs as he can until someone flags him. It's not his fault director ERIC WALTER seems too intimidated to cut through the subterfuge. I guess a documentary is supposed to just present the facts and not push any agenda but does that mean it has to be completely directionless? I don't need to be shown that Dan can play guitar. I assumed as much at soon as I saw him.

I don't know enough about his experience to call Daniel Lutz a liar. I do know enough to say that he exhibits every cliché giveaway that a seasoned con man would. He's defensive, he jumps to add extra detail when he senses he's flailing and he's quick to imply that there's something inadequate about the listener if they fail to believe him. There is at least one moment where he comes off as genuine, Dan is recounting an incident at the house where the garage door was opening and slamming shut on its own accord. The family dog tries to jump a fence to escape the insanity only to end up nearly hanging itself on its own leash. This is the incident that has left Dan with the most emotional damage, his personal ground zero. He has been tellingly haunted by nightmares of it for decades. Sometimes he dreams he is the dog. This is beautiful to me! What a perfect representation of Dan's ordeal! He, like the dog, tried to escape the house only to find himself on a short leash choking. There's the heart of the movie! But no, let's not talk about that. Let's take Dan to the world's most transparent psychologist who blunders through lame, "I'll just repeat what you said with affirmation" therapy. Dan: I'm angry. Psychologist: It sounds like you're angry. Dan: It was really frustrating. Therapist: Wow, it sounds like you were really frustrated! There is no reason for this (his first!) session to be in the movie. It can only go nowhere and so it does.

So why the heck am I making this a Sunday Streaming pick if Dan is as shady as a willow tree, the director is a too- passive bystander and even the appearance of Lorraine Warren fails to make things seem anything less than a grasping at straws (in this case, magic splinters from Jesus' cross) pitch for semi-relevance? I dunno. If you have Netflix Streaming it's already sorta paid for and is kinda free-ish and I say that's the right price! I hate to sound so negative but I would have loved to believe Dan's story if only the cost wasn't being left feeling like a strong-armed chump.

In the absence of anything mind blowing I suppose I was supposed to walk away happy with the newfound knowledge that George Lutz was a crappy step dad and the house was a breeding ground for garden-variety dysfunction. Take a number with the, "My old man was a bastard" story buddy- I'm here for the demon pig! (That reminds me, Dan does mention our pal Jodie and describes the porcine superstar as "a cartoon pig." How trippy is that? And how maddening that he's not pressed to elaborate!) Oh, heck, I'm cursed! I'll always be interested in anything AMITYVILLE! I can't help it! It's such a big part of my childhood. If you want something fulfilling though this ain't it! I suggest THE HAUNTING OF RODDY PIPER instead.

Do you hate Sunday? Do you think Sunday is like that bride in GHOST STORY and when you try to kiss it, it lifts its veil to reveal the hideous face of Monday? Then you need cheering up and lucky for you SLUGS: THE MOVIE is currently on Netflix Streaming. Think you're not scared of slugs because they are so slow and small and you can just stomp all over them in two seconds and pour salt down their throats and laugh when they explode? Obviously you have never met a mutated slug that has been chomping on toxic waste before! These slugs eat meat and their slime trails paralyze! Plus they travel in millions! You are going to be so surprised when you see all the damage they can do! SLUGS: THE MOVIE is a great seventies-type "Nature Hates You" flick all dressed up in eighties gooey-gore excess! I don't even know why I'm trying to explain any of this when all I really have to tell you is that it was directed by JUAN PIQUER SIMON the same blessed being who delighted the universe with PIECES (1982) and POD PEOPLE (1983)! I'm not saying SLUGS is as fun and crazy as those two slices of brilliance but wait a minute, yes I am! It's even enhanced by my two favorite things in the world, awkward dubbing and an inappropriate score! Please watch it and promise you'll think of me when you hear the line "You don't have the authority to declare Happy Birthday…not in this town!" Happy trails!

You've got to love ALIEN(1979), not only was it generous enough to gift the world with its incredible self, it thoughtfully left the door open for so many lovable wannabes to charge through. Case in point, the ROGER CORMAN produced, ALLAN HOLZMAN directed FORBIDDEN WORLD (1982)! If you sometimes get this one confused with the previous year's GALAXY OF TERROR (yay! Also on Netflix Streaming!), you're just like me! Don't sweat it! I've invented an easy way to remember which is which. FORBIDDEN WORLD's initials "F.B." reversed are W.F. which stands for "worm free", meaning this is not the movie where a giant worm rapes a woman. GALAXY OF TERROR'S initials form the acronym "GOT" which signifies that it has "got" the giant heinous rape worm in it (not to mention ERIN MORAN). Capiche?

Worm rape-free though it may be, FORBIDDEN WORLD has plenty of other idiosyncrasies that you might find worth your while, most notably a robot that sounds exactly like Marcie from THE PEANUTS. Who doesn't want one of those? Also FORBIDDEN WORLD has my favorite sex scene outside of MADMAN(1982). It's not explicit; it's just an orchestra of huh? Our hero Mike Colby (seventies staple JESSE VINT of BUG, SILENT RUNNING & DEATHSPORT) is the new rooster in the space hen house and therefore is hurriedly propositioned by Dr. Barbara Glaser (eighties staple JUNE CHADWICK of THIS IS SPINAL TAPP & V). As they make the vaguely shot intergalactic whoopee, we are privy to flash cuts of a coworker watching it all unfold on a security monitor while he intently pulls on a light up yo-yo toy and another space ship denizen wistfully playing a (space?) flute in his bunk… somehow in unison to the greatest new wave-y synth score you ever heard. Please either have a great sound system set up or just go the cheap route like I did and wear the headphones you bought at FIVE BELOW.

Oh, and the monster! Sometimes he looks like a giant wad of gum, sometimes he looks like a pile of trash and sometimes he looks like a pile of trash being pushed around on a shopping cart. He's not that impressive looking but who cares? He does a lot of damage and he has a lot of teeth!

I wish a space alien would ask me what I think is mankind's greatest achievement because my answer would the 1983 made for T.V. slasher mystery DEADLY LESSONS! I remember how excited I was the night this aired and why shouldn't I have been? It's like THE FACTS OF LIFE GO TO HELL and it stars my favorite person who ever lived, DIANE FRANKLIN of AMITYVILLE 2: THE POSSESSION and SUMMER GIRL fame! Actually, as far as the cast goes what we have here is an embarrassment of riches: ALLY SHEEDY, NANCY CARTWRIGHT, BILL PAXTON, DONNA REED, LARRY WILCOX & DENNA "cousin April" FREEMAN all collect paychecks! Read a fuller fawn-y review HERE!

Next up is THE DEMON MURDER CASE, another T.V. movie that left a strong impression on me. Its description of the devil scared the living crap out of me when I first saw it and little did I know that within the year I'd be moving into the town where the story it's based on took place (although TDMC is set in Rhode Island rather than Brookfield, Connecticut). This is yet another case that Ed and Lorraine Warren were heavily involved in and it stars Philadelphia native and FRIDAY THE !3TH star KEVIN BACON! Read more about this traumatizing title HERE!

Why am I lumping these two movies together besides the fact that I think they both rule? As it turns out, THE DEMON MURDER CASE aired on March 6th 1983 and DEADLY BLESSINGS aired the very next day March 7th! What possessed me not to remember that? Maybe it's because there was so much awesome going on in 1983 that back to back viewing satisfaction wasn't a unique enough occurance to stand out. For more 1983 goodness, check out our 1983 Funhouse flashback puzzle HERE!