Hey kids, I gotta plan that's sure to cheer you up today. Let's say we sneak on over to that SHOUT FACTORY TV joint and watch us some GARGOYLES (HERE)! It's only one of the best TV movies ever to grace the small screen and, where I come from, it has a long history of hitting the spot on a Sunday afternoon. Heck, I could even write a traumafession on this slick flick as it always gave me an acute case of the heebie jeebies! It's not the titular monsters so much (although they are impressively unnerving) as it is the general uncanny atmosphere. I don't know why but the opening narration relaying the history of Satan, the multiple aerial gargoyle-eye views of pesky humans crawling about on Earth and the sinister simplicity of the perfectly captured pre-CGI, ominous slate gray skies all add up to me wanting my blanky. Plus JENNIFER SALT is in it! Unless you've just finished watching BRAIAN DE PALMA's SISTERS (1973) or a SOAP marathon (like me) there's surely not enough SALT in your diet!
Category: Sunday Streaming
Sunday Streaming:: Ninja III: The Domination
Oh Geez, that ELECTRIC BOOGALLO doc has left me with a strong case of CANNON fever! What to do? Hey, it looks like our fine friends over at the YouTube channel THE PARAMOUNT VAULT has the solution! Let's say we all watch NINJA III: THE DOMINATION! Don't worry, you don't have to see the first two NINJA movies to understand this one because it defies understanding anyway! All you need to know is LUCINDA DICKEY rocks hard and is a champ at playing the video game BOUNCER. If you're still not cured, it looks like a bunch of other CANNON flicks have ended up in the same joint! I see HE- MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE, MISSING IN ACTION, AMERICAN NINJA, KING SOLOMAN'S MINES and much more! They're all FREE, they all look great and it's all on the up and up! Why are you so generous PARAMOUNT? Are you possessed?
Sunday Streaming:: Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story (1987)
Ssssssh! Let's watch something that we're not supposed to watch. As long as Richard Carpenter is not a regular reader of Kindertrauma, I think we can totally get away with this. Have you ever seen TODD HAYNES' lil' masterpiece SUPERSTAR: The Karen Carpenter Story that is based on the life and times of the tragic genius KAREN CARPENTER? It's so cool because all the actors are dolls and even more strange is just how creepy and moving it ends up being. Sadly this 44-minute slice of brilliance will probably never have a proper release because of all the musical licensing mumbo jumbo and the fact that Richard Carpenter is not a fan of the content in any way, shape or form. But my advice is you should check it out on the down low anyway because at the end of the day, art is more important than all that other stuff and you don't want to go about the rest of your life having missed out on this singular experience. I dunno, I get the Carpenters on my mind every year around this time due to their contribution to Christmas music and I think we can learn a lesson from poor Karen's inability to give herself a break and realize how cool she was in the first place. So let's watch this but whatever you do, keep it quiet!
Sunday Streaming:: Cottage Country (2013)
Sad? You can use HULU like CALGON and tell it to take you away! You don't even have to sign up or pay a dime, HULU has got plenty of freebies to enjoy. Take 2013's COTTAGE COUNTRY for example. It features saucy and sensational FINAL GIRLS star MALIN AKERMAN and the lovely and glamorous TYLER LABINE of TUCKER AND DALE vs EVIL fame! Both those guys are hilarious if you ask me. I know comedy is subjective so I can't guarantee you anything but what have you got to lose? This flick is about a couple who try to have a nice weekend but end up killing a bunch of folks instead. You know how that is. It kind of reminds me a bit of another beloved film, 1996's THE LAST SUPPER. It's got a similar sick sense of humor plus both films take place in a cozy location that is comfortable to hang out in anyway. Just press this word HERE and away you go!
Sunday Streaming: The Paul Lynde Halloween Special
I have nothing very original to offer today BUT I don't mind reminding you that if you neglect to watch THE PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL right about now you are doing this entire month wrong, more wrong and super wrong.
Sunday Streaming:: The Paramount Vault
Critter peeps, I'm happy to say we've got quite the Streaming bonanza today. Have you all heard about the PARAMOUNT VAULT channel (HERE) that just popped up on our beloved YouTube? It's a brand new joint where you can watch a ton of great movies for the mere price of withstanding a few commercials!
I'm taking back every derogatory thing I've ever said about Paramount Pictures and officially forgiving them for not always treating the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise like the invaluable contribution to world of cinema it obviously is. Their new channel is the coolest and here's hoping other folks are kind enough to follow suit.
As a lifelong movie lover who has shelled out every extra dollar that ever came my way to the industry, I'm getting pretty tired of being treated like a thieving flea-ridden freeloader every time I should happen to catch something for free online. I'm much more likely to purchase a movie once I've seen, enjoyed or at least been made aware of it! Movie viewing begets more movie viewing says me and frankly, fans deserve to be thrown a bone once in a while. Good on you PARAMOUNT!
Anyway, from what I've heard, the films on the channel will change form time to time so make sure you watch stuff while it's there and that you check back for new titles. We'll try to keep you up to date around these parts and here's some currently available movies (links in titles) that I'd recommend….
THE SENDER (1982)
This personal favorite used to be rather difficult to track down. Now, you no longer have any excuse to not see it! Full review HERE.
THE LOVED ONES (2009)
I don't think we covered this one enough around here because I caught it rather late but I'm pretty sure this disturbing gem from Australia showed up on a couple of our reader's underrated lists. I'd certainly file it under "must see."
RUMPELSTILTSKIN (1995)
You'd think director Mark Jones had done enough for humanity by gifting the world with LEPRECHAUN (1993) but nope, he went one step further and dropped this hilarious bad boy on our laps too. What a guy!
IN DREAMS (1999)
Sure it's all kinds of flawed and nonsensical and it may be the only film in existence not helped in any way by a ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. performance but it's fascinating nonetheless, and we all know director NEIL JORDAN rarely skimps on the arresting visuals.
TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 (1986)
I admit that I find the second half of this flick kind of dull but the first half terrifies the living crap out of me, so it's all good. As a rule of thumb, you should just watch anything with the word "chainsaw" in the title anyway. Enjoy.
Sunday Streaming:: Terror on Tape (1983)
Having RANDI ALLEN stop by the site this week had me remembering that I may have first viewed CATHY'S CURSE in the late eighties but the first time I ever heard mention of it was when I rented TERROR ON TAPE some years earlier. Are you guys familiar with the one and only TERROR ON TAPE? It's the crazy compilation of clips from movies all of which happen to be on the long defunct CONTINENTAL label and it's hosted by your pal and mine CAMERON MITCHELL! Can you imagine a better place to visit than a video shop that exclusively carries those old school giant box videos? Take some time out to watch TERROR ON TAPE today! It's goofy and sleazy and it's going to be released on DVD exactly never in my estimation and I'd say that's more than appropriate and fine by me!
Sunday Streaming:: The Midnight Hour (1985)
In the autumn a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of watching THE MIDNIGHT HOUR (1985) on YouTube…
Sunday Streaming:: Five Netflix Horror Notables
When we first started doing "Sunday Streaming" posts years ago, it was all about picks you could find on Netflix Streaming. Then somewhere along the line I started worrying that not everybody had Netflix Streaming and so the focus switched to YouTube and freebies on Hulu. This week I say we jump back on the Netflix wagon because it's been a while and I figure the important thing is getting the titles out there. If you don't have Netflix Streaming, keep your eyes peeled for these…
House at the End of Time (2013)
I'm going to blame my not being able to shake this Venezuelan haunted house flick for the existence of this entire post. If you dig ghost movies or mysteries, this is a must see that is likely to become a new favorite. There's something genuinely haunting about this flick and what's even more stunning is just how moving it ends up being. Check it out. It left me feeling like I'd just finished a hearty book.
Starry Eyes (2014)
I can't help taking high praise for an indie horror film with a grain of skeptical salt. I get the feeling that reviewers are overly generous and more interested in patting themselves on the back for their noble support than being forthright. Starry Eyes though, actually deserves any and all praise it gets. It fascinating, circling the drain, character study about false hope and self-obliteration and it has the power to disturb you right down to the marrow of your bones.
Housebound (2014)
The less you know about this fun flick from New Zealand concerning a snotty girl confined to a house full of secrets, the better. Most of the joy here comes from never being able to pin anything down and having your expectations turned on their head at every turn. My hat's off to any movie that can pull off being hilarious without losing the steam of its scares and this rollicking coaster ride does just that. Watch it on Netflix but do yourself a favor and order a hard copy too just in case it disappears. I'd say this a keeper worth more than a few visits.
Late Phases (2014)
As a rule, you should probably watch anything that stars Nick (STAKE LAND) Damici because he could possibly be the coolest person who ever lived and I decree, the lone heir apparent to Charles Bronson. On paper, LATE PHASES is almost too good to be true. It's a werewolf movie that takes place in a retirement village directed by the guy who did HERE COMES THE DEVIL and not only does our man Damici play a blind war vet with an adorable seeing eye dog, the film also sports the likes of Ethan Embry, Lance (HALLOWEEN II) Guest, Tom (MONSTER SQUAD) Noonan, Rutanya (AMITYVILLE 2) Alda and Tina Louise. It's not nearly as fierce of a beast as it could have been but that cast, especially the Damici, make it well worth taking a bite out of.
Creep (2014)
I thought maybe I hated this movie but then I realized it was just insanely overrated and presented in an aggressively misleading way. It's weird and uncomfortable at times but I think my day-to-day life is more horrifying than the concept of being hired to do a job and having high-end whiskey thrown at me by a guy who is trying too hard to be my friend. CREEP isn't my idea of horror; it's more of a cross between a parody of OLD JOY (2006) and a budget remake of THE CABLE GUY (1996). It has a few unsettling moments but they're pretty much doused by how unconvincing it all is. Still, it's memorable and Marc Duplass is amusingly shameless and there's enough quotable lines to reference to easily earn it a comfortable corner on the cult couch.
Sunday Streaming: Frightmare (1983)
Often I've revisited a movie that I wasn't too keen on originally to find that I have a new fondness for it. In the case of 1983's FRIGHTMARE, nearly the opposite is true. It bowled me over upon first view and now I think that was more of a right place, right time sort of thing. It just goes to show you how outside factors can really influence a person's feelings about something and how the old thumbs up or thumbs down, "good" or "bad" system of rating movies (or anything) is pretty dumb (or at least shortsighted and limiting).
If I remember correctly, I saw FRIGHTMARE sort of spur of the moment. My Dad took my brothers and I to see some action movie (I'm picturing BLUE THUNDER in my head but I could be wrong) and once we got to the theater, I saw the poster for FRIGHTMARE and naturally had a strong pull toward that instead. (No shade toward BLUE THUNDER intended). Somehow I was able to finagle my way into seeing FRIGHTMARE by myself while everybody else bonded over explosions in the theater next door. Seeing any horror movie in the theater was pretty exciting in those days but there was something especially thrilling and liberating about seeing one by myself. It felt like a fence had been trampled over and I was standing over a cliff and if I leaned too far over, I had nobody to pull me back.
FRIGHTMARE is about a group of crafty kids who are such big fans of celebrated horror icon Conrad Razkoff (played by slightly less celebrated horror icon FERDY MAYNE) that they steal and desecrate his recently deceased corpse and trigger supernatural shenanigans that insure their own doom. What's great about FRIGHTMARE is how it's all about horror films and fandom and how it marries old school gothic horror with the popular tropes of the day and (most especially) how it features a mansion and a decapitation. The effect looks pretty standard today but in 1983, I remember it being quite the money shot.
What's NOT so great about FRIGHTMARE is that it's way too dark (was it always this dark? I can't believe that) and it has a frustrating habit of mumbling and meandering. I don't mean to be an ingrate to this B-movie that once gave me shelter when I was green, it's just that JEFFREY COMBS is in it (rumor has it, he was cast for his resemblance to the already-made decapitated head prop) and once you realize that in two years he'd be put to full, impossible-to-ignore use in RE-ANIMATOR, the whole affair starts looking even soggier by comparison.
FRIGHTMARE is available to watch free online thanks to TROMA. It's doubtful it'll rock your world but it's got some cool ideas even if their execution is wanting. (There's also a CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS moral flapping around which I'm totally down with and adamantly adhere to. You really shouldn't force a dead body to dance with you without expecting it to kill you later). In any case, it'll always have a special chair at my table for initiating me to the fine art of going to the cinema solo. I'm also granting it one extra flapjack for featuring the guy who played Porky in PORKY'S and one extra peanut butter pinecone birdfeeder for being so thrifty as to borrow its poster art off of FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE.