Category: Traumafessions

I'm shocked, frankly, that no one has posted anything on this epic kindertraumatizer yet. Of all the animated horror that wreaked havoc upon my childhood, including FERN GULLY, FANTASIA and SNOW WHITE, none was as terrifying as LITTLE NEMO: ADVENTURES IN SLUMBERLAND, the 1992 American release of a 1989 Japanese cartoon film. This movie scared the hell out of me.

LITTLE NEMO is the story of Nemo, a nightmare-plagued little boy, much as I was at the time, who is chosen to become heir of a magical dream kingdom called Slumberland. Once given an ounce of responsibility, Nemo abuses his power and opens the forbidden door to nightmare land, putting himself, and everyone else in the kingdom, in some really deep shit. This includes getting King Morpheus of Slumberland captured by the evil Nightmare King. Way to go, Nemo, you putz.

Now, for starters, let's just ignore what kind of presently scary lessons this movie might teach kids like a)It's always O.K. to accept possibly drug-laced cookies from bearded, bespectacled child-molester types who come through your window at night, or b) it's a great idea to pick fights with policemen, as long as you have the help of a cigar-smoking criminal hobo voiced by MICKEY ROONEY, and let's concentrate on the stuff that really made you piss the bed.

For one thing: the fucked up nightmares. I think it seems natural that, when animation depicts a helpless boy being whisked away in a flying bed through the clouds to a creepy decrepit city, being betrayed by said bed (which is supposed to represent safety to small children) and dropped like 5,000 feet into some insane vortex that turns into a tunnel where he almost gets run down by an evil choo-choo train, maybe the viewing five-year-olds might not ever want to go to bed again. I mean, seriously, what the hell?!

And those creepy, slimy looking, black, smoky-type nightmare monsters with the red eyes who flood out of evil looking doors in caves? Can you say scared shitless? Even the supposedly "good goblins" were scary as hell. I don't give a damn how funny or cute you are supposed to think they are, they still have claws and fangs and beady little eyes. And those guys don't even go away when you wake up! They come out from under your fucking bed!! That's messed up.

Not to forget the poisoned cherry on top of this horrific sundae, last but not least, is the Nightmare King himself. Giant horns, big claws, glowing red eyes, oh, and did I mention he's like 50 stories tall? He bears close resemblance to another animated frightener, that big mountaintop Satan guy from the end of FANTASIA (on which I also intend to make a submission, since he scared the living piss out of me too) except instead of just grinning evilly and conjuring up weird skeletal warriors and little naked sprites to play around with, he imprisons your friends in funky little tubes where they're frozen in odd positions and he shocks them for fun. Combine all that with an impressive basso voice (complete with a slight hint of a theatrical mock-British accent) a lava pit, and claws that can pop up anywhere, you've got one wicked, creepy motherfucker who lives in a weird spirally castle and makes you piss the bed for a week.

All in all, we have here a genuine kindertraumatizer that will screw with your mind and keep you up and shaking way past your bedtime. And if you can eventually get to sleep without being convinced that the Nightmare King is in your closet, as soon as you doze off your bed is going to fly out the window and drop you in the ocean. Yeah, that's right, go jump in bed with mommy and daddy.

On a final note, I can tell you exactly why this movie is screwed up the way it is: because the man who adapted the screenplay is a sicko who's been frightening grownups for decades. Fucking RAY BRADBURY.

Yours in childhood trauma,

Dan G.

First of all, love your site! I've showed it to all my friends, and most of them couldn't get past the first page, they were so scared! I've scoured almost 30 pages of this here web site, and haven't seen one mention of Disney World's The Haunted Mansion!

I remember when I just a wee child of probably about six my parents took me to Walt's Florida escape, and they thought I was finally old enough to enjoy The Haunted Mansion. I was a little freaked out even going through the queue, but I managed to make it to the little room, which gave you the prologue to the actual ride. I was O.K. until the pictures in the room started moving and stretching to reveal some very horrifying images to a 6 year old!

I flipped out, and demanded my parents take me OUT of this ride immediately! Thankfully, there IS an emergency exit in this room, and I was escorted to safety.

Also, I never learned, until years later, what happens at the end of the picture stretching…the awful (and traumatizing) image of a man hanging himself right above you! Twenty-two years later, I'm not terrified anymore, but I still do feel a little uneasy in that little room. I hope I'm not the only one who spent years having nightmares because of WALT freakin' DISNEY!

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Thanks for writing in KtBear! Although I have yet to physically step foot in any of the fine family theme parks owned by the Disney Corporation (I am more of a low-rent, Wildwood, NJ boardwalk kind of boy who's going to take this opportunity to give a shout out to the now defunct Whacky Shack!), I have always been intrigued by The Haunted Mansion attraction.

I have spent countless hours lurking on DoomBuggies, drooled over the LP posted by Brother Bill at THE HAUNTED CLOSET, and most recently discovered the awesome design work of KEVIN KIDNEY. I reckon this all to say that if I were to have a bucket list of places I need to see before going to that malt shop in the sky, visiting The Haunted Mansion would be on there somewhere right above Dollywood, and maybe slightly below the Moscow Cat Museum.

Regarding trauma delivered at the hands of WALT DISNEY, you are definitely not alone! Just ask Lene, Carol, Jillcs, Vicar of VHS, me, and anyone else I might have overlooked (my apologies, in advance, to anyone who might fall into this neglected category).

Has anyone mentioned the horror that is the A THIEF IN THE NIGHT series of ‘70s fundamentalist Rapture movies? I don't know if these no-budget masterpieces actually converted anybody to Christianity, but they undoubtedly caused a lot of damp sheets in households with traumatized youth group members.

The LEFT BEHIND movies WISH they could be this scary.

This clip is from the third movie, IMAGE OF THE BEAST

Congrats on a frighteningly good site; brings back all sorts of creepy memories.

Just thought I'd share a particularly scary childhood memory of my own. I know he's revered as probably the greatest leader in our nation's history– but I still remember being terrified at age five of this picture my Kindergarten teacher had of Abraham Lincoln. She hung it right off the front edge of her desk so it was right at eye level when we sat on the rug… and four score and seven years later, it still creeps me out!

First of all, let me just express how freaking awesome your site is – not only does it bring back a lot of horrifying memories, much to my never ending joy, but it also gives me tons of stuff to track down and watch for my own pleasure, what with me just loving everything remotely disturbing. You're like a never ending database of awesome for me, and for that I simply have to thank everyone involved with the site and everyone submitting their Traumafessions.

Now, with my mad preaching and worshiping out of the way, I will finally submit my own Traumafession, and one I know that I share with many a fellow Danish (or generally Scandinavian) child who grew up in the early nineties. The show I talking about is THE MOOMINS – animated in Japan, but based upon children's books from the 40s in Finland, this show generally revolved around the Moomins, white, almost hippo-like creatures (called "Mumitrolde" in Denmark, which literally means "Mumi Trolls") living a happy life in Moomin Valley and going on adventures.

That sounds innocent and sweet, right?

Well, it was… for the most part.

But this show had many pretty scary aspects – there was always a dark feel around the adventures they would go on, and several antagonists were particularly frightening for a fragile little 5-year-old mind to take. The ghostly Hattifatteners who recharged themselves during thunderstorms was one thing… but the one thing that frightened all kids I know who watched this endlessly was the monster known only as the Groke.

The Groke was a horrifying creature indeed – large, ghostly-looking and a dark, pale shade of purple, it would slowly walk through the fogs and spread a chilling cold wherever it walked, creating nothing but a merciless winter around it. It didn't exactly help that it had a downwards pointing mouth with very large teeth and completely expressionless eyes either. Everyone in this show was afraid of this thing, and for good reason – it froze every damn thing it touched!

And they had even foreshadowed its appearance, sometimes using it as a warning for people to behave nicely, or the Groke would get them… and then, when it finally shows up, it is indeed terrifying – every character's reaction shows nothing but fear at the sight of it.

I vaguely remember that it was revealed during the show that the Groke was not really evil, but just very lonely – and that it was meant to be some sort of metaphor of how cold loneliness makes you feel, and how you only end up spreading it as you desperately search for warmth, so it was a very sympathetic character – but I sure didn't have any sympathy as a child – it scared the pants off of me and many others every time it showed itself on screen!

I don't know how popular this series was outside of Scandinavia, but it was definitely a hit in Denmark – I still love it to this day, and when I stumble upon a clip of the Groke, I still feel a chill – simply because of the memory of how much this damned thing frightened me.

Call me crazy but when I was a kid I used to play these adventure games obsessively. Each installment in the series has its creepy moments but Parts 1, 3, and 4 are the ones that stick out the most for me. In Part 1, you are subjected to repeated jump scare tactics employed by the game characters at every corner; in particular, the witch in the cave and the troll on the bridge. Part 3 is notable for having an opening that is both oppressive and drenched with creepy atmosphere–namely, an evil wizard's house where you are held prisoner. Part 4 is perhaps the creepiest of them all, with allusions to THE WIZARD OF OZ, SNOW WHITE, and it contains zombies!

SALUTE YOUR SHORTS was part of what I refer to as the "golden age" of Nickelodeon. For those of you who don't know, Nickelodeon did consist of amazing shows at one point in time and these shows included but are not limited to; CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL, NICK ARCADE, FAMILY DOUBLE DARE, ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?, PETE AND PETE, and LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE.

SALUTE YOUR SHORTS followed a group of campers at Camp Anawanna, led by their camp counselor Ug, as they got themselves into numerous shenanigans.

One episode in particular has always made me a little uneasy. It highlighted the camp ghost story of the legend of Zeke the plumber. As the story goes, Zeke got his nose bitten off by a parrot and could not smell the gas leak in the camp one night. He blew up and now haunts the camp looking for his cursed plunger. While the story is a little silly and clearly meant for entertainment purposes, I cannot help but still feel incredibly scared when I look at the face of Zeke the plumber.

It must be the nose. I don't think I remembered there ever having been an explanation for why his nose was bloody and bandaged, and so just seeing a guy in a creepy mask with a bloody nose was enough to make cower.

In the episode, camp bully Budnick (Whose name I always thought was ButtNick) is dared to spend the night out in the woods at the site of Zeke's legendary death. There are a few dream sequences where Zeke haunts campers dreams; the sound of the plunger awakening them and the way the mask moves when Zeke talks….yikes, it still scares the bejesus out of me. Not to mention getting a plunger in the face would be equally terrifying.

UNK SEZ: Thanks, A.D. , I missed this show when it was on but I do know that one of its stars later went on to be to be eaten by giant bugs in THE WILLIES! Now, all you readers out there, make sure you check A.D.'s blog THE HORROR DIGEST, it's pretty darn great and you can find it HERE!

Seeing as someone else started talking about music (cf. Steve Miller), my kindermusiktrauma song would have to be "D.O.A." by Bloodrock from 1971. Ostensibly a song about a plane crash victim told in first person, the song starts with a Hammond organ that has some of the creepiest, deepest, dirtiest production imitating an ambulance siren. It goes on from there to a pretty basic (yet rather turgid) 3-chord progression, culminating in the chorus "I remember we were flying low and hit something in the air." Pretty graphic lyrics about a lost arm, a dead girl staring back at the narrator, and the classic climax of "Dear God in heaven, teach me how to die!"

The whole thing sounds like it was recorded on some bad b-movie set in Texas, with thuddy drums (typical for the time) overworked bass licks in the chorus, crazy deep and dramatic vocals, then – and this is what always really got me as a kid – THEY SLOW THE TAPE DOWN AT THE END OF THE SONG AND CROSSFADE TO AMBULANCE SIRENS!

I downloaded this song a few weeks ago, and it still has the same effect on me as being up late watching a Movie of the Week from the same time period.

The song made it to #36 on the Billboard charts, according to the Bloodrock Wiki entry.

I'd be curious if other folks remember this song, or have similar trauma moments (I can think of "One Tin Soldier" ("Go ahead and hate your neighbor/go ahead and cheat a friend") and the spoken word break from Stevie Wonder's "Living for the City" as two other immediate trauma inducers).

I am submitting this on behalf of my husband because he will never do it himself.

Recently we were talking about stuff from our childhood that we loved or what scared us and I mentioned how I used to love to have a record played every year on my birthday that had my name in it. It was a space guy and he would say, "Hey Jennifer, it's your birthday."

He told me that every year his family would play his record for him and as soon as he heard the first few notes of "Hey Matthew" he would run out of the room. Well I did a little research and it is by Captain Zoom. They now have a wedding version and an anniversary version. I clicked on the sample and he said he got chills. We have a son Matthew and I wanted to get it for him for his birthday, but I think my husband would kill me.

I just found this on youtube and could not believe I found Matthew.

I wanted to tell everyone about a childhood trauma that used to haunt me. In fact, it still haunts me somewhat to this day. Your readers in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area will likely remember this, but I'm sure that everyone can appreciate this trauma no matter where they live.

In the DFW area in the ‘60s and ‘70s, we had two children's TV hosts that were local celebrities. One was Mr. Peppermint – he was the kind, sanitized, completely safe children's T.V. show host. And then there was Icky Twerp. Icky was the other children's T.V. host. The one that pushed the envelope just a little bit. The one that parents secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) wished their children wouldn't watch. And, of course, all the kids wanted to watch Icky.

Icky was huge in DFW, often packing local malls to the brim when he would make a personal appearance. Icky hosted Slam Bang Theater, a show filled with cartoons and old THREE STOOGES shorts. In between cartoons and Stooges, he would perform some wacky slapstick skits. Pratfalls happened, pies were thrown, and everything was fine…until Icky brought out the apes.

Icky had a couple of sidekicks named Ajax and Delphinium that scared the hell outta me. They were simply men dressed in gorilla masks, but it was creepier than it sounds. First of all, even though their heads were distinctly simian, the rest of their bodies were undoubtedly human. Secondly, I guess 1960s ape mask technology was not yet perfected, because something about these ape-heads just wasn't right. It's hard to place my finger on it, but these apes were super-creepy for some reason. Of the two, Ajax scared me the most. My 5 year-old eyes had an attraction/repulsion to these horrible man-beasts. Even though they scared me beyond belief, for some reason I was unable to look away from these unholy abominations.

For those of your readers who are skeptical about just how scary a man in a gorilla mask performing slapstick skits on a children's T.V. show can be, I present to you Exhibit A – the attached photo. Take a good look at these ape-like hellspawns, and ask yourself if this is appropriate for a T.V. show targeted at the age 4-8 crowd.

WTF?!