kindertrauma

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Streaming:: Trollhunter, Hobo, Red State & Vanishing

Posted on By unkle lancifer

UNK SEZ: I wanted to do a "Best of the Year" list sort of thing but how could I possibly when I'm so hopelessly out of the loop? Part of it's my fault because I'm trapped in the past but part of it I blame on the fact that many movies never hit my neck of the woods. During the Christmas break I realized that the least I could do was catch up with the recent flicks available on Netflix. This little four-car pileup represents only a fraction of my intake but hopefully we'll get to some of those other flicks soon too.

TROLLHUNTER

To tell you the truth, knowing that TROLLHUNTER was a found footage flick didn't make me run to it with open arms. Nothing against the concept, I just wasn't in the mood for the usual song and dance. I threw all my trepidations in the garbage disposal though as soon as the first troll showed up. He was glorious. If this movie doesn't convince you that CGI is not necessarily the devil's plaything then nothing will. Fun, imaginative and crowned with a great character in troll hunter Hans (OTTO JESPERSEN), this movie easily leaped over my expectations and turned out to be quite the horror adventure.

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN

I probably found this movie only about half as funny as I think I was meant to. I was not too comfortable seeing RUTGER HAUER my hero, being treated poorly by Tromaville rejects. It reminded me of the awful day my dog followed me to school and all the other kids laughed at her running down the hall. Don't laugh at my dog! Suddenly I understood that HOBO wanted me to feel that way so that I could fully enjoy my blue eyed champion RUTGER killing all the rat faced punks. Sadly that understanding came a little too late for me to get all I could have out of this. In any case, I loved all the nasty neon colors swirling around in this movie, the references to MAD MAX and HALLOWEEN 3 and the blippy soundtrack and excellent STREETS OF FIRE theme song at the end. I just don't enjoy seeing people push RUTGER HAUER around, to me that's like sacrilege or something.

RED STATE

Wait a minute. How is it possible I was so unimpressed with this movie? I like a good KEVIN SMITH rant and it shouldn't be very difficult to get me on board with a movie that skewers religious zealots and features JOHN GOODMAN. I thought RED STATE jumped out of the gate fine but I fell off the back of the truck midway through. Maybe it says something about my lack of mettle that I could not adjust to RED STATE's major shifts in tone of which there are several. There was one point toward the end where I thought perhaps it might redeem itself for me and then instead it went the opposite direction entirely. (Alas, an unfilmed original ending scrapped due to financial restraints sounds more my cup of tea.) As it stands, I felt like the subject matter deserved a far less flippant approach and I was let down by SMITH painting in such broad strokes. I give him much respect for working out of his comfort zone but I felt the wild-eyed caricatures sort of let the garden variety bigot too easily off the hook. I guess this is one of those divisive movies that you either love or hate and I can't be more shocked that here I stand on this side of the fence!

VANISHING ON 7TH STREET

Don't worry RED STATE, you are not my least favorite movie in this grouping! That honor belongs to VANISHING ON 7TH STREET! BRAD ANDERSON is a mega valuable and extraordinary director in my eyes. Not only do I dig his forays into horror, like the excellent SESSION 9, but I also think his HAPPY ACCIDENTS and NEXT STOP WONDERLAND are pretty awesome too. VANISHING has a wonderful plot as far as I'm concerned. It's sort of like WHERE HAVE ALL THE PEOPLE GONE? with darkness itself starring as a malevolent force furiously erasing the world. Unfortunately even though this movie has more going for it than most with ANDERSON's expertise, an involving concept, semi professional (albeit miscast) actors and I'm sure a reasonable budget of some sort it fails to gel into anything solid enough to cast a shadow itself. It's just like a big glob of formless putty. It even has the nerve to have an annoying kid character in it and I was of the understanding that we as of a culture had a silent agreement to leave that pesky stock character to disaster movies from the seventies. I'm not telling you not to check this one out; in fact, do and tell me it's just my imagination that it is as intolerable as I think it is. I don't mind being wrong. I want to be wrong.

Traumafesions :: Reader Hillary B. on Image Union

Posted on By aunt john

Hello,

Love your site! I don't have a site to promote, but I do have a traumafession. I live in Chicago and I grew up watching WTTW 11, our main PBS station. There is a program called IMAGE UNION and back in the '80s the "mascot" (or whatever) promoting it was this animated figure.
I attached a photo of the figure I found by Googling it, which just reignited my fear of this thing, so yay. YouTube clip of the figure at the 0:45 mark:

Whenever I was watching the station with my parents and a commercial with that figure came on, I would quickly leave the room. I don't think I ever told my parents that the image freaked me out but it became my own personal boogeyman. If I had a dream of something scary chasing me, it was THAT THING! Usually accompanied by a sidekick in the form of a tarantula, my other kindertrauma.

I've never ever watched IMAGE UNION, which still comes on WTTW 11 and I still watch that station, for the simple fact that it is connected to that horrible image. The movement of the animation was weird and the face really didn't move at all. It just wasn't right. Not at all.

Cheers,

— Hillary

Streaming Alert:: Black Noon (1971)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Today's selection is not so much streaming as hiding out on YouTube like a gangster. As always, when it comes to YouTube, I suggest watching it as soon as possible for fear that it might disappear. BLACK NOON (1971) delivered your Unk some genuine willies, so it's my duty to pass the possibility of similar willies on to you. Fans of seventies T.V. movies, especially those that fret about Old Scratch coming to call, need to see BLACK NOON. Truly, it deserves to be spoken of alongside other celebrated, post-ROSEMARY'S BABY Satanic cult films of its time period. I'm thinking that the only reason it's not more notorious is because it wears the cloak of a western. As far as delivering the horror goes though, I assure you the film has a sneakily wicked scorpion tail.

A young reverend and his wife lose their way in the desert en route to their new home. Luckily before they die of thirst, they are discovered by some townspeople who take them in and as the wife recoups, the preacher finds his services much in need as the isolated town is suffering various hardships. His presence and his preaching seem to have a positive effect. A new vein of gold is found in the local mine, a crippled boy begins to walk and a bullying bandit is disposed of. Everybody is doing the happy Bible boogie except the preacher's wife who is getting sicker and sicker. As the wife begs to scram, the preacher finds himself more and more enthralled by the residents, particularly a beautiful mute named Deliverance. In fact, reverend's ego is so stroked by the townspeople that he is willing to ignore a sudden rash of vivid panic dreams and waking hallucinations of a bloody anguished man. Clearly things are not quit as they appear in the town of Nilbog San Melas. Something fishy and witchy is going on…

If that doesn't pique your interest (and really why should it?) allow me to sell you on the cast. ROY THINNES (THE NORLISS TAPES, SATAN'S SCHOOL FOR GIRLS) plays the passionate, sometimes wild-eyed reverend, mac daddy super pimp RAY MILLAND (THE UNINVITED, THE LOST WEEKEND & THE ATTIC) is the town's head honcho, and the enticingly beautiful mute cat wrangler Deliverance who scares rattlesnakes with her stare is played by a bewitching YVETTE MIMIEUX (she of THE BLACK HOLE.) We also got ourselves some porn-stached HENRY SILVA (BUCK ROGERS, TRAPPED!), some twitchy GLORIA GRAHAME (BLOOD AND LACE, MANSION OF THE DOOMED) and even a dash of DEVIL TIMES FIVE's LIEF GARRETT. If you need more than that you are crazy and should be put down like a rabid raccoon. To be honest, GRAHAME doesn't have nearly enough to do, but it's always good to see her showing up anyway.

Now you have to be a little patient with this one; it was made in 1971 which means it does not tap dance, wave sparklers and shoot gold coins and bubble gum balls out of its mouth every five minutes to keep your attention. It uncoils slowly with a subtle foreboding but when it goes in for the kill, it's remarkably vicious. There's actually still a ringing reverberation in my psyche from the sound of its bear trap snapping shut. Furthermore, some of the visual nails that are hammered home during the finale are remarkably ahead of their time. I'll put the links in the comments section. The picture and sound (maybe use headphones?) aren't the best, but I think it's worth the extra effort. That's it. I'm saying no more. The less known the better. Hope you enjoy this grade-A 74-minute cut of lean mean Beelzebub marinated T.V. beef and do let me know what you think!

The Wolfman (2010)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

There are two movies I can always count on to put me in the proper spooked-out, gleefully morose mood I crave. They are both seriously flawed yet provide the comfiest old fashioned creep quilt you'd ever want to bask beneath. BRAM STOKER's DRACULA(1992) is lush and sweeping, though famously marred by dingbat acting and TIM BURTONS SLEEPY HOLLOW(1999) is brisk and haunting, though convoluted and scarred by numerous doofus moments. Well, I'm happy as hell to add THE WOLFMAN to my short list of beautiful losers; it is a relentlessly gorgeous visual stun-athon that hits the ground running but ends up stumbling and falling on its face like a damsel in knotted woods. The good news is that this wolf's room emptying flatulence takes place so late in the party that you can only shake your head and chuckle at it as you push it out the door.

Does anyone else think that BENICIO DEL TORRO resembles DEAN STOCKWELL mixed with BRAD PITT's way hotter brother? There is inspired casting everywhere you look here folks and although ANTHONY HOPKINS is a ham and cheese hot pocket, that's what he's paid for. I know that I'm a sucker for all things pasty and raven haired, but EMILY BLUNT and her ice shard eyes are almost too much for me to bare. I've had a mild case of stalker love for her ever since WIND CHILL but now I think it's time to start cutting out letters from magazines and assembling a message for her eyes only. Man oh man this movie with its lantern lit caravans, leather bound libraries, silver canes and whiskey drinks, gnarled branches and autumnal fervor is just plain ravishing. I seriously just wanted to walk into the screen and stay there forever; y'all know what you can do with your iPads and GA-GA's (No offense, fame monster!)

So how's the story (or the wolf's tale?) well for the most part great. It all pretty nicely moves up to an incredible peak at a mental institution where our pal Larry gets the FRANCES FARMER treatment. In fact, the psychological spine of this flick is sort of a reverse FRANCES that replaces mommy issues with daddy ones. Maybe a subtler approach would have worked better here (we are basically dunked into an icy bath of HOPKINS' Freudian faux-pas) but it's an undeniable super blast watching the inevitable head shredding of numerous head shrinkers.

Now I don't want to get too spoiley here but things do go downhill eventually. The films climax borders on cartoon ridiculous and the father /son conflict becomes a tiresome diversion from what's really interesting about THE WOLFMAN, the subjugation of our animal impulses. The final battle we are shown doesn't even visually mesh properly with the rest of the picture. Whereas before we were shown awesome half-man/half-wolf hybrids suddenly there are fuzzy super hero creatures bouncing around. Any CGI subtly you may have been hoping for is (literally at one point) thrown out the window.

I bet you dollars to dog biscuits that this BATTLE OF THE GARGANTUANS looking ending (I'm not exaggerating by the way) was part of the film's notorious reshoots. The only thing that scares me more than the idea that Hollywood thinks audiences are so dumb that they need this type of crap to enjoy a film is the idea that Hollywood may be right. THE WOLFMAN was doing quite fine without the adolescent action figure shit and a more somber conclusion was called for.

The fact that THE WOLFMAN revealed its desperation and lap dog subservience in the end does not spoil the fact that me and the old boy had an excellent run. I'm sure that future viewings will smooth my distaste for the third act but I'm sending out a prayer for an alternate director's cut of some sort anyway. THE WOLFMAN is mostly just too goth-glorious to miss, my eyeballs are still writing home about it as we speak. It's sad though that certain people could not trust the tale enough to allow it to take its natural course. As usual, somebody somewhere confused setting the beast free with pulling in the reigns.

Name That Trauma :: Reader J.R. on Public Access Programming

Posted on By aunt john

I recall that when I was in high school, there were a variety of educational, "after school special" kind of shows that would air on one of the local public access channels. They were all pretty old (from the ‘70s and ‘80s, and they dealt with the subjects that one would come to expect from such programming (alcoholism, dating, illness, friendships, etc.)

When I was 18, in the spring of 2000, (maybe a little too old to be scared by a public access show??), I was home early from school after exams. I happened to flip to the public access channel, which was airing a show about a young mother living with HIV. She had two young children, and I believe she had moved in with her sister so her sister could help care for her and her kids. This all sounds fairly innocuous, and at first it was. However, during the last 10 minutes or so, things began to change. First, there was a scene where the kids and their mother were playing a board game (maybe Monopoly?) because they were stuck inside due to the rain. The scene cuts to the kitchen, and all of a sudden one of the kids runs into the room and yells, "Aunt so-and-so, mommy cut her hand in the living room and there's blood everywhere!!" Then you see the mother with her bloody hand wrapped in a towel or something.

Things became even more unsettling in the next scene (after the bleeding had stopped). It's the middle of the night, and the mother is sitting alone in her bedroom with the lights on, and she's staring into a mirror, covered in sweat, and sobbing. The camera then zoomed in on her face, all sweaty and teary, and lingered there for about ten seconds before her sister came in and consoled her. That scene really freaked the shit out of me. What added to the creepiness of this show was the face of the woman who played the mother; she had a really nasty, curly brown rats' nest of hair, and her features were very harsh and angular. I recall that her lips were very thin and almost pursed as well.

The last thing I remember is that the show ended with the woman and her sister saying the rosary on the porch, and during the credits, the name of some Catholic production company came up. I don't know if anyone out there has seen this, but it really disturbed me at the time I saw it. I really love the site, and I hope someone out there has seen this show and was also disturbed by it. Thanks!