I was on the fence in regards to whether I wanted to see the latest monster mash-up GODZILLA X KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE. I very much wanted to spend time with the giant ape and the humongous radioactive lizard but I knew I’d have to endure packing peanut scenes involving boring humans staring at computers, pushing buttons and speaking gibberish. I’m not sure who I was kidding though because about five minutes into the movie I was indeed in my happy place, blissfully lost from reality and hanging out with roaring gargantuan beings who stomp on buildings and in Godzilla’s case, nap curled up in the Roman Colosseum like an exhausted house cat. Sure, there’s still some pesky humans poking about but it’s mostly the amiable likes of scrappy yee-hawing, eighties music loving monster dentist/vet “Trapper” (THE GUEST’s Dan Stevens) and likable and lanky adoptive mother/scientist/ Ilene Andrews (NIGHT HOUSE’s Rebecca Hall). The two apparently had some kinda fling in collage but happily we’re spared the details to make room for the more interesting in-depth analysis of the complicated social life and ever rotating pecking order of moody colossi. As an added bonus, the majority of the film takes place in a ridiculous upside down center Earth space that gives off some serious LAND OF THE LOST vibes. I found myself immediately regretting not paying the extra clams to experience this vibrant Saturday morning cartoon madhouse in what I'm sure would be spectacular 3-D.
I have to admit I did not appreciate seeing my usually thoughtful pal Kong picking up a baby giant ape he just met and using him to bludgeon his attacking foes but the lil’ dude seemed to recover (and even forgive) quickly and I’m sure the younger audience must have found the slapstick pummeling hilarious. In fact, what Adam Wingard’s second excursion into this world delivers so wonderfully is the toys in a sandbox, destructive power fantasy joy inherent with these fantastical creatures. It may not impress critics as much a the deeper, more grounded GODZILLA MINUS ONE but it does have the power to make at least this viewer remember what it was like to be a kid again (after viewing, I immediately went home and google-gawked at the latest toy-line based on the film and although I do not have the disposable cash to purchase such items, was not disappointed). I was also very delighted to see my favorite character show up (spoiler alert) and that would be the angelic behemoth moth Mothra who I am completely in awe of and possibly in love with. The cherry on this day-go cake is the introduction of a new misunderstood female titan named Shimo who is gorgeous and blasts ice out of her mouth. Although I’m subtracting points for relying on the tired ginger bully trope, I enjoyed this diversion more than Wingard’s previous stomp in the franchise thanks to its goofy childlike spirit and positive closure that involves our beloved victors united and waving goodbye over a hill like rogue violent Care Bears showering the world with earned camaraderie and (green) blood soaked rainbow glitter.
