Hello, awesome people of Kindertrauma!
As a lifelong horror fan, I have heard time and again that scary movies are bad for me, will keep me from sleeping, have no socially redeeming value, and turn ordinary, sweet people into savage murderers. Sound familiar? I would take the fictional creations that scared me as a child over the real-life frights of being an adult. Taxes, the news, the cost of groceries and rent, the education system, the general public, influencers, skinny jeans, ads in paid streaming services? Far scarier than Jason Voorhees, Leatherface, Killbots, Buffy St. John, or Creepozoids. The gruesome, grisly, ghastly images seen in my youth may have traumatized me or caused me fear, but I loved it. I still do.
We wouldn’t be here together on this page if we didn’t love to be scared. The following are some of the horrors that scarred me as a kid and served as inspiration for my latest novel, The Felicitous, a story about a woman who moves to a ghost town—one that may or may not be inhabited by a malicious, murderous cult.
Scooby-Doo: Vampire Bats and Scaredy Cats (1977).
Scooby-Doo was my gateway into grown-up horror. My favorite cartoon then and now, Channel 11 in my hometown played reruns early every weekday morning. I watched as I got ready for school, learning that the real monsters were people. Then I saw this episode, where Daphne’s friend Lisa would morph into a fanged, bloodthirsty vampire (complete with wild cougar growl sound effect). It started a deep childhood conviction that vampires were indeed real, and I was on their intended snack list. We had a walnut tree outside our house growing up. When the walnuts
would fall and crash down on the awnings, I would shudder and hide, because it was clearly the vampires coming for me. That made perfect sense to me at the time. We didn’t have sparkly, or friendly, vampires in those days—or Buffy to protect us.
The Haunted (1991).
This made-for-television movie took all of my fears and combined them. Ghosts, demons, things that go bump in the night, and some haggard looking monster that tried to hump the men in the house. I’d seen haunted house movies before, but this one had an extra, bonus terror—the beings in the house followed the family. Until then, I thought, “Hey, you could just move.” Oh, no. That was how I discovered that some spirits aren’t attached to the house, they’re attached to you. And they’ll follow you to the park and eat your picnic lunch before they take you to hell. Every noise in the house seemed twenty times louder and more sinister after I saw this movie. That shadow in the corner of my vision? Clearly, it was the Brunhilda-esque hump monster who would be throwing my Peanuts covers off of my bed at night and kissing my face with her rotted, black teeth.
Slaughter High (1986).
I rented this one on VHS from a Mom-and-Pop video store in town. Though it’s not particularly scary and I was too young at the time to understand how mean-spirited it is, I liked it…up to a point. But when Shirley’s death rolled around, a new fear was unlocked. Poor, dim Shirley, who decided the best idea during a killer’s revenge spree would be to take a bath in an abandoned school. I get it, Shirley, you’re covered in blood and guts. It’s gross. I’d hate it, too. But Shirley’s decision to leave the safety of her friends and get into the tub has stuck with me my entire life. The water in the tub turns to acid and fries, burns, and strips the flesh off of Shirley’s body in vivid, practical special effects detail. Does she get out of the tub quickly? No. Does she somehow have trouble simply stepping out of the bathtub to save herself? Yes. Shirley, you were not too bright, but your death has haunted me. If my shower makes a single noise, I’m convinced it’s the acid getting ready to burst through the pipes.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984).
I begged my dad to let me watch this on television when I was twelve. He relented and my little brain was blown away. Up until this point, I thought dreams couldn’t hurt you. Now I knew—they could kill you. Some creep in a dirty sweater with a clawed hand was coming and I couldn’t escape, no matter where I went. No one can escape their dreams. I was unsafe. My bed was a trap, a prison. Freddy would find me wherever I went and manipulate my dreams. I didn’t sleep for a week after I watched it. One night, my dad came into my room to ask what was wrong. I asked him where we go after we die and what happens to us. Dad shrugged and said, “Nothing. We just lie in blackness and don’t even know we’re dead. Forever.” Then, patting himself on the back and thinking he’d just given me gold-star comfort, he left me alone to envision being mauled by Freddy and descending into infinite blackness.
Creepshow 2 (1987).
The segment entitled “The Raft” has never, ever left the dark recesses of my brain. Deke’s yellow bikini? That rapey jerk Randy, who got exactly what was coming to him? But more than any of those things, the brutal, drawn-out death of poor, sweet Rachel at the hands (tentacles?) of the slimy, oily, garbage bag thing floating in the water. When she screamed, “It hurts!”, my youthful brain was forever disturbed on a deep level. Water, especially murky water, is horrifying enough on its own, full of creatures and beasts ready to attack. “The Raft” is next-level gruesome tomfoolery. Whenever I am near any body of water, my eyes look for the black mass that eagerly waits to mindlessly dissolve and devour me. Not today, aquatic Glad trash bag. Not today!
Special mention goes to those hissing Sleestaks, Jaws (1975), 1988’s The Blob (especially when it traps lovable Fran in the phone booth), Michael Myers standing under the red light outside the hospital in 1981’s Halloween II, John Diehl in 1984’s Angel, Nickelodeon’s Into the Labyrinth, and that absolutely harrowing HBO short film where the film reels eat some unsuspecting guy. These have all remained in my subconscious for decades.
Thank you so much for reading! I will be signing copies of my books The Felicitous and You Better Watch Out at The Horror Depot’s Author Con at Rhode Island College’s Union Hall on Saturday, March 23rd, so if you’re around, come say hello to me and share your childhood traumas!
Matt –
That HBO short film with the guy being devoured by celluloid scared the hell out of young me, as well. I have no idea what the film is called. I'll guess it may be available on YouTube, though I've never looked. There was another HBO short film the network ran often in the early 80s, that wasn't scary, but very strange, about a teenager detailing his car. On the un-scary side, HBO used to run the great Hardware Wars parody short film very often back then, as well.
I agree with you on the Sleestaks! The one shot from Scooby-Doo that frightened me was the image of the figure in the old-fashioned diving suit, with fish-bowl helmet. It appears in the show's opening credits. I don't remember if that character appeared in an episode.
Matt,
All good picks, and Angel was very entertaining; the sequels…well they went downhill fast.
I don't remember that episode of Scooby Doo specifically but all of that show's 60's, 70's and 80's iterations were and are near and dear to me.
SDC,
That was the ghost of Captain Cutler from the second episode of the first season of Scooby Doo, Where Are You!, called "A Clue for Scooby Doo"; that's an episode I absolutely remember.
Angel is much less sleazy, and much more character-driven and insightful, than I was expecting when I watched it. Placing the serial killer plot to the side a bit, it's a fairly realistic, and somber, depiction of life on the margins of Hollywood. I haven't watched the sequels.
Firstly, thank you Kindertrauma for all the love and support! This is my favorite place to go on the internet–a nostalgic happy place among all the crazy in the world.
SmallDarkCloud, I love Scooby to this day, despite any trauma it caused me as a kid. I feel like the episodes were super scary sometimes. But it was what started my interest in mysteries and horror. When I was growing up, my door was the first one at the top of the staircase and I always pictured the Sleestaks coming up the steps and peeking into my room first. They look so goofy now, but back then…no, thank you. And I haven't seen the HBO short since I was little and have NEVER forgotten it. They played it during the day, which is wild.
Ghastly1, I totally agree that nothing compares to the original iteration of Scooby. I can't get into the modernized versions really. The originals just have so much magic and sparkle; maybe it's my nostalgia, but those are classics. As far as Angel goes, I love that cast! Back then, I didn't know any of them, but now I appreciate how the actors are all so iconic and the characters were given way more depth for a low-budget exploitation movie than we'd expect. I remember seeing the first murder on HBO (back then, it was always me catching scary stuff on HBO!) and John Diehl scared me so badly.
Thanks everybody for reading this post! I'm among kindred spirits.
The HBO short that really bothers me to this day is the one where the guy is crafting some piece of machinery and it turns out to be a giant mouse trap. Once you finally realize what he's building, he then goes on to horrify the audience by putting his head in the mousetrap and tripping the release. It doesn't show it snapping on his neck but what you imagine is probably far worse than anything they would show you anyway. I remember this even disturbing my dad who was an Army vet and mechanic, a pretty tough guy who saw a lot. He was intrigued by the whole fabricating process only to be sickened by the twisted ending.
LMAO, officially changing my user name to Deke's Yellow Bikini. Great comments, Matt. Scooby Doo was also an early gateway to horror for me and nothing compares to those early cartoons (let us never speak of Scrappy Doo.) The Sleestaks were indeed terrifying but the episode of Land of the Lost that always stuck with me was the one with Medusa. I'd probably find it cheesy now but as a kid it terrified me. No wonder I was so taken with Clash of the Titans years later.
Thanks for these very relatable kindertraumas Matt! THE HAUNTED really freaked me out too and I've had a lifelong fear of sleestacks!