Argh. I’m trapped in a heat wave and I have no place to hide. Might as well cover all the windows, blast my AC and hunker down to watch the made for TV movie NO PLACE TO HIDE (’81) (on ol' reliable YouTube). I got an itch and it can only be scratched by the legendary John Llewellyn Moxey (THE NIGHT STALKER (’72), HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS (’72), I, DESIRE (’82) et al.). This flick has fascinated and creeped me out since my youth and may be ground zero for my freaky fear of movies involving women simply trying to make it to their cars at night in seemingly unpopulated parking lots or garages. I love this once ubiquitous trope-cornucopia spilling clacking heals on cement, startling car horns and menacing shadows and/or silhouettes. It’s even more satisfying if the potential victim ends up hiding under the car staring at ominous shoes. The real pay off is the inevitable hider in the back seat though. So gratifying.
Doe-eyed art student Amy Manning (frequently terrorized Kathleen Beller of ARE YOU IN THE HOUSE ALONE? (’78) and DEADLY MESSAGES (’85) fame) would just like to get to her car without being attacked by a masked creep, thank you very much.
Make it to the car she does, but only to discover she’s fallen for the oldest trick in the book and is ubber-ing an assailant who sneakily hid in the back seat and waited for the most stressful moment to reveal himself (such things kindertraumas are made of). The uninvited masked threat, rather than kill poor Amy while he has a chance, instead utters the cryptic threat, “Soon, Amy, soon” and bolts out of the car as her head is turned. Turns out Amy has been stalked by this lanky lunatic for a while now, so much so that all of her friends and family are beginning to suspect she’s imaging the whole thing and the ever helpful police have thrown up their hands in exhaustion. Is Amy a nutcase or is somebody trying to make her look like a nutcase? When she receives a sinister funeral wreath in the mail it seems tangible evidence has finally been secured. That is until Amy questions the florist about who ordered the delivery and he informs her that she herself did! What the hell?
Luckily there is a tragedy in the past just waiting to be explored. Amy by all accounts was doing swell until that fateful day a year ago when her beloved (and rich) father, while visiting their lakeside cabin, died in a mysterious boating accident! Amy was meant to join her father on the trip but stayed behind (likely to concentrate on the sculptured bust of herself she’s been working diligently on) and now is looney with guilt. I don’t want to give too much away but I’m sure you’ll have a general idea of which direction this cart is heading when I tell you Amy’s super concerned and unsuspicious stepmother Adele (Kodak spokeswoman Marietta Hartley who incidentally, I assisted as a retail worker when she was doing a play in town in the mid-nineties) and beady-eyed psychiatrist Cliff Letterman (the totally non-creepy Keir Dullea) conclude the best way for Amy to face her mental problems is by visiting said secluded cabin far from any possible aid if trouble should arise. Sure, it’s probably the most unsafe place anyone could possibly think of going to but psychiatrists and stepmothers know best!
Just when you think you’ve got this particular DEATHTRAP (’82) all figured out, the game board is spun yet again and something akin to DIABOLIQUE (’55) emerges sweetly injected with some choice modern slasher set pieces. Horror mainstay and Hammer alumni Jimmy Sangster (HORROR OF DRACULA/FRANKENSTEIN etc., plus many a clever psychological puzzler like SCREAM OF FEAR (’61), PARANOIAC (’63) NIGHTMARE (’64) etc.) truly knows how to twist the knife, old pro Moxey keeps the cat & mouse stalking at an impressive pace and Beller is basically built for the material. Heck, the time period it was made in alone delivers nearly everything on my own personal goggle-box couch party shopping list. Outdated yet sincerely missed corniness abounds and it's possible NO PLACE TO HIDE might leave a few horror-heads craving more bloodshed, but all in all, this is one fun under-seen TV gem that shouldn’t stay hidden.
Is this streaming anywhere? Sounds interesting.
Also, I don't get the "killer hides in the back seat" trope. There is just no way in the world that anyone would not notice someone in the back seat or floorboards or whatever. Try it out – try to lay down in the floorboards of the back seat area and hide from anything. Of course my objection does not extend to ghostly hitchhikers or very small evil elves, but a grown-ass man? No way.
Fun fact: Kathleen Beller is the wife of Thomas Dolby. No word on whether she blinded him with science.
Kathleen Beller also has a small role in The Godfather, Part II. If I remember correctly, she plays an actress in the Italian melodramatic play that Robert DeNiro and Bruno Kirby (young Corleone and Clemenza) watch in a theater, in one scene.
Chuckles – I won't spoil it, but there is a decent (but not great) slasher film from the early 80s boom that uses the "hiding in the back seat" cliche as a punchline for the final scene. It's really obnoxious there, and the film didn't need it.
Unkle Lancifer – I forgot to mention this. I think one of the reasons why The Night Stalker is as good as it is comes down to John Llewellyn Moxey's direction. Dan Curtis took over the director's chair for The Night Strangler, and it just isn't as good (nor is the Kolchak series, which had no work from Moxey, either).
Moxey had real talent, even though he never broke away from television assignments (I think).
I don't think I've seen this (I'm not super knowledgeable about TV movies at all) but it sounds like something I need (and want) to check out post haste. Also some other great films mentioned in there. May this heat return to hell from whence it came and may we have a long, cold winter.
Chuckles72
I watched it on YouTube- picture isn’t the greatest but basically akin to watching on a sketchy TV back in the day!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83cQEzhAScM
The back seat hider is a big thing in this house ! It rarely makes sense but it’s as inevitable as death and taxes! Also HUGE fan of the library research scene in any movie whether it be microfiche or computer, it must happen and I must point to the screen and point it out!
I think my favorite hidden backseat attacker (John calls these "hiders in the hatch” for some reason) is in THE KINDRED (’87) because it is a mutant monster baby that stowed away inside a watermelon (!) before it breaks free to kill. It gets much credit for originality.
Bdwilcox,
I did not know that! Thomas Dolby is a genius. He produced one of my all-time favorite albums Prefab Sprouts’ “Two Wheels Good” aka “Steve McQueen” in the Uk. Thanks for that info!
SDC,
You’re right! She really is striking. I always remember her from THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER (’82) watched that one all the time in my youth! Really love the horror elements and make-up effects.
Moxey really is the TV movie GOAT. I watch HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS literally every year & it never gets old. He did some absolutely incredible theatrical work early in his career HORROR HOTEL aka CITY OF THE DEAD (’60) rivals the best of that time period and has a scene in it that I find absolutely terrifying (won’t spoil it) plus the atmosphere is incredible. It’s almost like a perfect merging of PSYCHO and THE FOG.
I think its public domain so very easy to find if you haven’t seen it but here is link to it on Tubi where it looks really great and in proper ratio:
https://tubitv.com/movies/454501/the-city-of-the-dead?start=true&tracking=google-feed&utm_source=google-feed
Ghastly,
There’s def some patches of true hokiness but there’s also a stalking scene in a school that could give any ‘80s slasher movie a run for its money. I’m def a sucker for this type of stuff! Very much with you on celebrating the death of summer ! Good riddance!
This conversation got me thinking about Rockula, Essentially, late 80's kitsch mainlined into your veins. Thomas Dolby was great in it!