kindertrauma

Name That Trauma :: Reader Courtney on a Killed Cleaner

Posted on By aunt john

Greetings and salutations, Kindertrauma!

Long time lurker, first time poster here … anywho, I used to watch USA UP ALL NIGHT in the late '80's when I was 11 or 12. My parents were remote control Nazis (somehow they didn't have a problem with their little angel reading STEPHEN KING as a child, but R-rated movies were off limits!), but I'd sneak out after they went to bed. How USA was able to play such classics as ZOMBI or DEMONS 2 on basic cable is beyond me.

This movie has been driving me nuts for a ridiculous amount of time (like, YEARS). It was set in a high school. There was some kind of slasher/serial killer involved, who had a goofy laugh. The school lab may have been involved. At the end, you see a janitor's bucket-on-wheels thingie being pushed, and it looks like the janitor from the back. Then you hear the killer's crazed giggle, and you know the janitor is dead … cue end credits.

Does this ring any bells? It's probably from the early '80's.

By the way, your site is amazing. You're doing a real public service. By which I mean I lurk about when I should be doing homework.

Thanks a ton,

Courtney

UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Reader magired moves to the head of the class for being the first one with a hand up for RETURN TO HORROR HIGH!

Scream Pretty Peggy

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I usually liken the winters spent in Kindertrauma Castle with THE SHINING. You know, unavoidable cabin fever, highly repetitive writing and the occasional Big Wheel ride. This past winter though, sheesh, that analogy just won't cut it. Winter 2010 was more like JOHN CARPENTER'S THE THING, more Antarctica than Colorado. Beards were grown, long johns were worn and as we fond ourselves surrounded by suspicious pets, paranoia reigned. The only alleviation from the madness was found in roller-skating to STEVIE WONDER tunes, whiskey and the occasional video chess game (well more like UNCHARTED 2 than chess, but you get the idea). And yes, I admit it, mysterious shredded clothes were discovered and somebody ended up tied to a chair. Let's not talk about the noose, "I'm all better now."

I tell you this because last week when spring finally frickin' sprung it was time to get the hell out of this stinkin' shoebox! How could we though, we had just discovered SCREAM PRETTY PEGGY on VEOH (thanks to readers Mike & Senski) and it simply had to be viewed at once, what to do?

Then I had an idea of Blair Warner magnitude. Since we were locked into watching SCREAM PRETTY PEGGY on the laptop anyway why not take it into the backyard and watch it outside under the stars? A.J. groused like a man in love with his couch but I insisted. I needed to get outside before my head popped off and grew lobster legs!

Kids, do you know that watching T.V. in the backyard is the best, most fun thing on Earth? You can drink beer freely and they have something called oxygen there. If your brain is made of Play-doh like mine is, you can even imagine that you are at the drive in! It's easy, just pretend that you're as big as a matchbook and that you're sitting on the space key of your computer. Naturally, the more experience you have beating reality into submission the easier this trick will work for you. Good luck and remember to turn back to normal size after the show!

Now on to the movie, one of the first things that I noticed while watching this one was how much of a fan I WAS NOT of Peggy. I had just seen actress SIAN BARBARA ALLEN in YOU'LL LIKE MY MOTHER and found her tolerable enough so I'm assuming it's the way the character is written. I'm sorry, but if the first thing I learn about you as a person is that you CUT IN LINE, our relationship is pretty much null and void. I thought momentarily that Peggy and I could be pals when she said she was looking for a "lighthouse keeping job" as that too is my dream. Turns out she didn't say, "lighthouse keeping," she said, "light – housekeeping." Oh, Peggy, you and I haven't a chance.

You see, I have your number Peggy, I've encountered your type before! You feign helplessness to get your foot in the door and then suddenly you own the place. Your too easy grin, your phony self deprecation, do you think I was born yesterday Peg? You are obnoxious and pushy and that is why I've re-titled your film SCRAM PUSHY PEGGY!

I have a hard time believing anyone would hire Peggy but get hired she does; I guess it helps when you're willing to sell your services for 75 cents an hour (an amount that shrewd, manipulative Peggy jacks up to 1.65 within minutes of arrival.) Peggy is hired by famous sculpture Jeffrey Elliot (TED BESSELL, THAT GIRL's ever patient Donald) who lives with his mother Mrs. Elliot (some lady called BETTE DAVIS). The audience is aware that the Elliots are hiding secrets almost instantly and Peggy, who's not the brightest peg on the Lite Brite board, has a notion too. FREE ADVICE: If you have a horrendous, odious secret you're trying to keep, a secret so dark and twisted that discovery of it will land you a lifetime gig in Sing-Sing do your own "light-housekeeping." Don't allow strangers into your web, fool! There's a reason why everything in Kindertrauma Castle is covered in fur balls and on the fritz!

Although more cliché ridden than a thousand hipsters, there are several elements to this 1973 made-for-television movie that raise its ass above the chaff; the killer in a long flowing nightie with disheveled hair is tops for one. The image is not used enough but it's grand and slasher worthy. Check out TERROR OUT OF THE SKY (1978)'s TOVAH FELDSHUH's opening kill it's pretty good (incidentally, TOVAH did the voice over work as "grown-up Jane" in SILVER BULLET. Man, I wish she got the part of Peggy.) In addition, I LOVE the evil red sculptures that Jeff creates; they're these gigantic molten creations and they steal every scene they're in (plus they'd look great in the backyard.)

Then there's BETTE DAVIS, it may be the gay gene talking but you're more likely to look away from a UFO landing than her. I know A.J. has a penchant for her because he has a soft spot for snide, irascible misanthropes (don't ask me how I know that) but I dig her because she never fails to remind me of MARTIN SHORT. Some feel that DAVIS has little to do in this movie but I think that's kind of the beauty part. More often than not she is just propped up on a bed, handed a teacup filled with hooch and prodded to squawk lines like "Leave…this…house!," "You don't…be-long here!," and "You're…(pause)…fired!"

SCREAM PRETTY PEGGY is generally bland and predictable but speckled with splinters of semi-greatness. I'm sure its final revelation held some kind of scandalamity power back in the day but to contemporary audiences, it's the second most overused "twist" right behind "P.S., you're already dead!" Still one does not look a DAVIS cameo in the mouth and I have to admit my abhorrence toward the title character made it a particularly fun movie to bark and throw imaginary jujubes at. That's another great thing about watching movies outside; what better way to announce to the neighbors that their cruel summer of bad eighties music noise pollution is right around the corner? I know it's rude to subject innocent ears to archaic pop tunes but at least I don't cut in line.

Name That Trauma :: Prospero of Caliban's Revenge on an Aborted Burning

Posted on By aunt john

Prospero here from Caliban's Revenge. Love your site and visit it every day and finally decided to see if you can help me figure this one out. When I was a kid, I caught this scene on T.V. in the early ‘70s:

A young girl (maybe 12) in '50s or '60s clothing is tied to a stake atop a pile of wood while a friend stands by. The girl tied at the stake is begging her friend to burn her at the stake, because she is sure she's a witch. The horrified friend refuses, no matter how much the girl begs her.

The scene was played very seriously, with ominous music. I think my mother may have made me change the channel, because I have no idea what happened next. I don't know if this was a scene from a movie or a T.V. show, but it's stuck with me all these years. I would love to know what it's from so I can maybe revisit it and see what happens next.

Keep up the great work!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Jeremy on Vampire Pools

Posted on By aunt john

Off the bat, I want to say I love your website…I was lucky enough to figure out one traumatic scene from childhood on my own (the head coming out of the table in THE MANITOU), but this one is still nagging at me…

It was the end of a movie I saw when I was about 9 years old…a woman was being chased by a vampire (or Satanist?), who cornered her in an empty in-ground pool. As I remember it, she was saved by the sheriff, but then he locked her in a cell; as it turned out, the whole town were vampires (or something like that), and the movie ended with a freeze frame of her screaming.

It's hard to say why I found it so scary at the time, I think part of it was the low budget film quality-it looked like it was shot on super-8, which gave it a cinéma vérité kind of feeling-but I'd really like to see it again now. Any ideas?

Thanks!

Jeremy


UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Thanks to sumo1964 for pointing us towards WARLOCK MOON (a.k.a. BLOODY SPA)!

Traumafessions :: Kinderpal Senski of Heart in a Jar on Frankie Stein & His Ghouls

Posted on By aunt john

When my parents would go on a shopping trip and I'd have to stay with a baby-sitter, they'd always bring me back some kind of present, either a book or a record or both. When I was five, they purchased an LP that became one of my favorites as a child – "Monster Melodies" by Frankie Stein and His Ghouls!

Not an awful lot is known about the group, but during the mid '60s, within the space of seven months, they banged out 5 albums of fairly decent surf rock, with all the hot dances of the time – Frug, Hully Gully, Twist, Swim, Mashed Potato – represented, with song titles like "In a Groovy Grave," "Knives and Lovers," and "Ain't Got No Body." But the real selling point for the records were the eerie sound effects that were scattered through all the tracks – screams, moans, chains rattling, maniacal laughter. In most cases they were just silly fun, but there was one voice that showed up frequently with chilling demands to "Twisssst…..Twissssssssst….TWISSSSSST!!!" (I've checked other boards about Frankie, and it seems there were more than a few who were creeped out by that voice.) They've since come to be prized by DJs, who love to throw some Frankie into the mix at Halloween. QUENTIN TARANTINO, do you know about these?

But the music is not the focus of this Traumafession. After I got my first taste of Frankie, I wanted more, and eventually in a late 60s cut-out bin (God, I miss those!) I found a copy of another of his albums – "Ghoul Music."

Now my parents bought it for me, and I don't think I gave the cover too much mind at first. But once I got it home, I couldn't stop looking at it, and it really began to get under my skin. I saw the jacket art two ways: 1) The different-colored claw belonged to someone – or something – else, and it was pulling back the flesh around the eye socket and making it bleed, or more disturbingly, 2) That was the ghoul's own hand, and it was performing a horrible act of self-mutilation. I'd say that, within a month, I had my parents throw the record jacket away, and I kept both of my Frankie albums in the same sleeve. To this day, the concept of eye trauma really gets to me.

In 2006 a company called Groovy Grinds re-released "Ghoul Music" as a CD with Stein's "Shock! Terror! Fear!" – and when I bought a copy, I flipped the CD booklet so that the "Ghoul" art was on the inside!

Thanks, guys – hope you're doing well!

XOXO

Senski

UNK SEZ: Thank YOU Senski! Is there anything better than a fresh traumafession from our pal Senski? What a great way to start the weekend! Remember kids you can take advantage of Senski's wit and wisdom whenever you please by dropping by HEART IN A JAR!

Robert Culp In Spectre!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

ROBERT CULP passed away yesterday at the age of 79. Although he gained notoriety for his work alongside BILL COSBY in I SPY, most of my generation may more fondly recall his presence in THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO where he partnered up with WILLIAM KATT (CARRIE, HOUSE). CULP also appeared in the classic HARLAN ELLISON penned episode of THE OUTER LIMITS "The Glass Hand" and the (kindertraumatic) television pilot SPECTRE. Produced by GENE RODDENBERRY, SPECTRE starred CULP as William Sebastion an occult detective who travels to England to uncover a satanic cult. Much as in the case of 1973's THE NORLISS TAPES, SPECTRE left a lasting impression on those who caught it on television regardless of the fact that it failed to go to series. (Interestingly, in England, SPECTRE, with the help of a few added scenes of nudity, played theaters.)

HEADS UP: I'm not sure how long it will be there but currently you can catch SPECTRE on YouTube HERE. Why not honor this beloved actor's passing by checking it out. Besides spying a young JOHN HURT (ALIEN), you'll also notice that the relationship between CULP's Sebastian and GIG YOUNG's Dr. Ham Hamilton not only tips a hat toward Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson, but paves some road for the future Mulder & Scully!

The House That Would Not Die

Posted on By unkle lancifer

AARON SPELLING produced television movies don't grow on trees. Well, actually I guess they kind of do but I for one have never met one I didn't like. You may have to take my reviews of seventies T.V. movies with a grain of salt kids because I'm just a big push over for them. I watched THE HOUSE THAT WOULD NOT DIE (1970) at around five in the morning and what can I say, I was as happy as a clam who just married a pig in slop. Yes it's as hokey as your grandma's doily and about as provocative as a READER's DIGEST cover, but it has magical time traveling power! The melodramatic music, the over estimation of the effectiveness of slo-mo, the canned wind sound effects, the cocoa and copper hues and the general graininess of it all, was somehow able to successfully transport your Unk back a couple decades. The only thing missing was my mother yelling downstairs to tell me to "Turn that off and go to bed!"

THE HOUSE THAT WOULD NOT DIE is based on a novel called AIMEE COME HOME by popular supernatural author BARBARA MICHAELS. It stars the one and only BARBARA STANWYCK as Ruth Bennet, a lady whose hairdo looks just like a bowl of popcorn and so I made a bowl of popcorn. Ruth has inherited a creepy house which she moves into along with her niece Sarah (hooray, it's KITTY WINN from THE EXORCIST!) Both ladies immediately land age appropriate boyfriends and then decide to have a séance. The séance is a success because the spirit world is indeed contacted but also a disaster because a couple of the participants are left possessed by ghosts. Sarah is possessed by some girl named Aimee and Ruth's sexily named boyfriend Pat McDougal (RICHARD EGAN), is possessed by Aimee's pissed off Dad. What is the secret of this house that won't die? Like most secrets the answer lies beyond a false wall in the basement. I have no idea why people don't check there first!

I have to say this movie with all its talk about Revolutionary War era ghosts got my hopes up that there might be an appearance by the FUNKY PHANTOM but alas he never showed. Instead, what we get is a painting that keeps falling into the fireplace and a front row seat to hapless Ruth being manhandled by her possessed boyfriend and strangled by her possessed niece. Additionally, an inordinate amount of time is spent in the town's "Hall of Records." Again people, forget the Hall of Records! The secret is always in the basement, what do you think basements are for? THE HOUSE THAT WOULD NOT DIE's scares may be softer than bunny fur but it's got a general spooky atmosphere that works nonetheless. (I know perfectly well that it would have scared the crap out of me as a kid.) Ruth's nightmares of Sarah calling for help are particularly eerie.

The climax which involves EGAN's possession momentarily upgrading to super bananas is short lived but convincing enough thanks to the fact that EGAN is kind of scary even when not being host to a contentious ghost. Gorehounds and folks under 70 may want to run in the opposite direction of this one but if you're up for quiet granny scares this just might be the hooch for your hot toddy. Grab a shawl.

NOTE: Any shame I may have felt for enjoying this creaky chestnut has been erased by finding out it was directed by JOHN LLEWELLYN MOXEY, the same guy who made CITY OF THE DEAD a.k.a. HORROR HOTEL (1960) one of my favorite black and white horror films . If you're looking for something to do today… watch HOUSE HERE and HOTEL HERE! Or you can come clean out my garage; I'll pay ya a quarter!

Traumafessions/Name That Trauma :: Reader Amanda R. on Beastmaster, Clash of the Titans & a Guy Snapped in Half

Posted on By aunt john

Hi there,

I'm a regular visitor to the Kindertrauma site, and it's been quite interesting (and oddly entertaining) to see everyone's childhood traumas. Some traumafessions have actually exposed me to movies/TV shows that I was previously unaware of, but am now eager to track down (i.e., MAKING CONTACT a.k.a. JOEY and A GIRL NAMED SOONER.)

Anyway, some of my personal traumafessions have already appeared on the site via other people's submissions, but there are a few that I haven't noticed yet. One is the scene in BEASTMASTER where those wicked-looking "bat-men" appear, and that unfortunate escapee runs right into the open arms (or… "wings", I guess) of a bat-man. Thus, the kindertrauma ensues… I remember seeing that scene as a five- or six-year-old and feeling completely horrified. The two details I remember most are the guy's muffled screams and attempts to push out of the entrapment, and that one lovely shot where his liquidy remains drip down and run under the bat-man's feet. The shot of the bat-man opening his wings and releasing a gigantic pile of bones was pretty morose as well… Yeah, that scene haunted me for a good long time. And, for some reason, my mind re-imagined the liquidy remains as some kind of light green, Pert shampoo type of thing. Don't ask me why, because I have no frickin' idea. I guess it's just part of my crazy imagination.

Anyway, speaking of movie scenes that haunted my mind for ages… There was also the shudder-inducing "Medusa" claymation, which was part of the film CLASH OF THE TITANS. It was another film that I saw at a tender age, and the image of Medusa's glowing eyes and slithering head of snakes imprinted itself on my mind. The way that she emerges from the darkness, and the image of her blood spilling onto the floor after she's slain… Yeah, I still remember standing in my kiddy pool, in heavy downpour, having these images flash across my mind seemingly every 30 seconds. I also remember an image of my mother, when we were going to the grocery store or something. It was probably later the same day that I was (attempting to be) playing in the pool with my siblings. We were sitting in the family van, parked in the lot. She spit out a bright green hard candy, held it between her finger and thumb, and tossed it out the window. The static image of her holding the bright green lozenge on the edge of the open window, preparing to toss it out into heavy rain and grey pavement, inexplicably triggered the Medusa scene in my mind–not to mention, it bothered me that she was throwing out a good piece of candy! Even now, about 15 years later, when I remember the Medusa scene, I automatically think of this memory too. Again, don't ask me why. It is the mysteries of the human mind, I suppose.

Okay. now that I have those traumafessions off my chest, I wanted to put forth a possible "Name That Trauma!" This one time, when I was in my preteen or early teenaged years, I was flipping through the channels, and caught this short moment in some film or T.V. show. I'm guessing, from what little I saw, that it was late ‘80s, early ‘90s.

The only thing I can really remember is that group #1 was brawling with group #2 (both were mostly young "rebel" guys) in some kind of abandoned warehouse setting, maybe. Well, it was indoors, that's what I remember. Anyway, in the midst of all this mayhem, these two guys (possibly brothers? close friends?) were scooting along a wall. I think guy #1 had his back to the wall, and guy #2 had his belly to the wall. Well, unfortunately for guy #2, there happened to be someone with superhuman strength on the other side of the wall; whoever it was busted through, grabbed guy #2, and pulled him through the hole, snapping his body in half on the way (ouch!). Guy #1 watches in horror, and after guy #2 is yanked through the wall, he (guy #1) peeks through, and the next frame is a shot of guy #2, lying on the floor in two pieces, with entrails and a pool of blood between the two halves.

If anyone has any inkling of an idea what I'm referring to, I would be glad to hear suggestions! This short moment has stayed with me for about 10 years, and I honestly have no idea what movie/T.V. show it could possibly be. I'm 100% sure I didn't imagine this scene, 'cause I clearly remember seeing it while flipping through the T.V. channels.

Anyway, that's all for now. Keep up the great work!


UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Special thanks to DavidFullam for schooling us on CLASS OF 1999!

Traumafessions/Name That Trauma :: Reader Nicholas of Norway on Urban Legend & a Cross Dressing Beach Bum

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Thank you for this amazing site that I discovered all the way from Norway. I love reading about all those slasher flicks and the so-bad-they-are-good T.V.-movies. The way you write makes me laugh out loud.

But I do have a bone to pick with you.

Loving everything that's old with a twist, I got my hands on a copy of HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, after reading about it on your site. I finally convinced my friend, who really isn't into old slashers at all to see it with me; "Just wait for the ending," I told him.

We were amazed, and not in a good way. It stuck in my head for all the wrong reasons. I could not care less about the characters, as they didn't do a good job in my opinion. We laughed hard throughout the movie, and when the twist came up, we laughed even harder. We didn't see it coming, but it was disappointing. They way you were praising it I thought it was up there with SLEEPAWAY CAMP, but it was not even close.

Now I will use all my convincing-powers to make him see APRIL FOOL'S DAY instead. I think the movies are similar, but A.F.D. being the better one. Better acting, better murders, scarier and a much better twist!

Now, over to my kinder trauma. I'm 26 years old, and saw URBAN LEGEND in the theatre; it's the scene at the gas station where she drives off only to see the killer in her backseat with an axe, killing her off. That has traumatized me to levels I don't even know if I can explain. (I left my car at the movie theatre, and took the subway home for starters.) To this day, the first thing I check when I get in a car is the back seat, and if it has a lot of clothes, etc. I have to lift them up to see that the killer isn't waiting for me under the pile. If I'm driving alone at night, I can start panicking because I think I see a hand in the backseat, so I have to pull over and make sure. Damn that movie, it surely has scared me for life.

I have a movie I have been looking forever for, it's an ‘80s romantic movie. It's about a girl who is a lesbian I think, and she dresses up as a boy so that she can date this girl. Then in the last scene, at a beach, it's revealed that she has boobs, and really is a girl. I badly want to see this movie again, so please help. I do think it has slasher elements as well. Anyone?

Thanks,

Nicholas.

UNK SEZ: Nicholas, where to start?

1. Thanks for your kind words.

2. How does one not enjoy HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME? I know that the ending makes zero sense but what about the shish kabob murder? Did you guys even listen to the theme song at the end? It's the best theme song EVER!

3. Why are you keeping company with someone who, "really isn't into old slashers"? What kind of person is that? I think that questionable character must have swayed your opinion on H.B.T.M.!

4. I know that you are a rational person because you understand the glory of SLEEPAWAY CAMP and APRIL FOOL'S DAY so I have faith that you can still be saved and learn to appreciate HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

5. I like the opening of URBAN LEGEND too! BRAD DOURIF as the gas station attendant, NATASHA GREGSON WAGNER (MODERN VAMPIRES!) as the girl in the car and BONNIE TYLER singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" on the radio. "Turn around bright eyes…" good stuff! I don't think it's quite scary enough to inspire me to take the subway home, but maybe in Norway you guys have nicer subways. Here in Philly, it's actually safer to get in a car with an axe murderer in the back seat than to take the subway. (I kid!)

6. I have no idea what you're talking about as far as this cross dressing beach flasher goes, maybe one of our readers does. I'm just going to pretend you are talking about the best movie ever made, JUST ONE OF THE GUYS on account of I just want to bring up JUST ONE OF THE GUYS. The only thing missing from JUST ONE OF THE GUYS is a good shish kabob kill!

NOTE: Speaking of "Total Eclipse of the Heart," try not to love this…