kindertrauma

Name That Trauma :: Reader Errico on a Vacuum-Mouthed Monster

Posted on By aunt john

Hello, first of all let me say that your website is a cracker! I love it! Made me remember so many good ol' scares.

I have one myself but I cannot, for the life of me, remember the title, nor I can find it with generic searches on Google. It was a sci-fi B-movie, early ‘90s with an alien or some sort of bio-mechanic monster that looked like a vacuum cleaner with a trunk which could suck a bird out of its cage (a scene which was in the film) or a person's internal organs via his mouth. I know it sounds like a mad plot, but it was one of those crappy titles that can only scare you as a very young child.

If you could help remind me of which film it could have been, I'll be extremely glad, and I'll be able to write a new entry for your website. All I remember is that this monster was going around a house, while a geeky kid and his family were hiding from it in a closet. The monster in the meantime ate (or "sucked") stuff out of the fridge, the bird from its cage and I believe someone who entered the house at the wrong moment.

Thanks again,

Errico

AUNT JOHN SEZ: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! After initially writing in, Errico followed up with the answer:

OH MY GOD I FOUND IT!!!

It's actually not a film, but from a T.V. series.

TALES OF THE DARK SIDE, the episode is called "Hush!" It would be great to be able to watch it again. No idea how I could find it.

This is the description (I wonder if it would be still scary to watch nowadays):

Season 4, Ep 18: "Hush"

A babysitter is called in to take care of a sick boy. As a game, the two make up a pretend creature out of household parts, one that eats sounds. The creature comes to life, sucking the sound and the life out of everything in the house. The two try to evade it, but the boy's uncontrollable coughing gives him away. The creature then becomes sensitive enough to the girl's heartbeat to find and kill her too, then goes out into the world for more "food."

Zombieland

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Put on your shoes now and go see ZOMBIELAND. I'm not kidding, just stop reading this and go… leave! I'm not kidding Elizabeth…Shoo! ZOMBIELAND is ten tons of awesome, laugh out loud funny and the best road movie of the ….well since GEENA DAVIS humped BRAD PITT! You can probably tell from the film's trailer that there is plenty of splatterific yumminess to be enjoyed, but even though it delivers on that level ZOMBIELAND delivers so much more. In fact, if you must know the whole zombie thing, as well done and gratifying as it is, has little to do with why my heart is all a tingle for this movie; the characters and their interactions are gold. Even if the world had not gone to hell in an undead hand basket, I would love to watch a movie about these folks just hanging out and shooting the breeze.

WOODY HARRELSON has finally justified my love. I always dug his, "Do I have a harelip?" mug but this is easily his best performance since (another great road movie) NATURAL BORN KILLERS. JESSE EISENBERG, who just finished getting on my nerves in ADVENTURELAND, has now actually found a role that suits his persnickety jitter-boy persona to a tea and makes ya' seriously route for the guy. EMMA STONE, the smokey voiced hottie from SUPERBAD, makes me wish I was young and straight again and ABIGAIL BRESLIN, who I'm still a bit dubious of, at least cracked me the hell up with a throw away line where she tries to explain what the deal is with HANNAH MONTANA.

Go for the action, the gore and the laughs, but stay to bask in the love. This movie has such a Zen handle on what's important in life, our relationships to one another and the smaller things like Twinkies, rollercoasters and all things GHOSTBUSTERS (Oh man, I wanna tell ya about something SO GREAT in this movie, but I'd rather die then ruin the surprise) that to see it in a crowded theater may just renew your faith in humanity. My experience was so damn rejuvenating that I wanted to just hand out my email to everyone else in the theater that saw it with me and promise to keep in touch.

Ya know what? We already live in ZOMBIELAND folks and hopefully we all know two or three people that we can count on in a crisis and share some good times with. This movie is so much more than splat-falls; it understands the joyride aspect of the zombie film, the fact that part of the appeal is dancing on our culture's grave. Call me a romantic, but if every other guy on the planet has to drop dead for the nerd to get the cool chick, I can only say "Awwww!"

Most of all though, ZOMBIELAND is fun with a capital "Z", so why are you still reading this? Go'on and get!

Kindertrauma Funhouse with Halloween & Trick 'R Treat!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Below are ten images, one from each of the ten HALLOWEEN films. Can you figure out which image is from which film? Leave your guesses in the comments section. If you don't know guess because today ANYBODY can win! To help out our readers in different time zones, we're going to wait until 6pm tonight (E.S.T.) to award a prize to a randomly chosen commenter! So guess, don't guess, leave your name, whatever… just make sure you leave a comment! The prize today is a doozey. One of you shall be the proud owner of the comic adaption of my favorite new flick TRICK 'R TREAT! Good luck to all!!

Traumafessions :: Reader Propagatrix on a Thief in the Night

Posted on By aunt john

Has anyone mentioned the horror that is the A THIEF IN THE NIGHT series of ‘70s fundamentalist Rapture movies? I don't know if these no-budget masterpieces actually converted anybody to Christianity, but they undoubtedly caused a lot of damp sheets in households with traumatized youth group members.

The LEFT BEHIND movies WISH they could be this scary.

This clip is from the third movie, IMAGE OF THE BEAST

The Hills Run Red

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I admit to being completely turned off by the derivative box art for THE HILLS RUN RED, but from what I had gleaned from various sources the movie was not your typical Johnny-stab-lately. Indeed, although HILLS RUN RED could never be mistaken for top tier horror it has much to distinguish itself from the ranks of your typical straight to DVD muck. Don't get me wrong, this jam is straight from the taco truck, the ingredients are cheapo and it's not very pleasing to the eye, but for those with a hankering for something quick and filling with a bit of a spicy kick, it hits the spot.

Do you know what doesn't cost anything? Having an interesting plot. THE HILLS RUN RED gets an instant leg up on its peers with its intriguing premise concerning a long lost eighties slasher flick and the lengths one cinemaphile will go to in order to track it down. Any horror movie fan who remembers the days before the Internet will recall just how elusive some of the lesser known jewels used to be. I couldn't help feeling an instant sense of recognition with our main leads quest and got a nerd-on every time a faux poster or trailer for the fictional Holy Grail horror flick was shown.

Not that anybody needs to be getting their STREEP on in a film like this but the acting, borderline horrible in the first half of the film, becomes surprisingly good when situations require it. Perhaps the late in the game appearance of Mr. Awesome WILLIAM SADLER inspired the green pups. (Careful Mr. SADLER, you are approaching DOURIF/HENRICKSON territory in my heart.) By film's end I was satisfied having gotten the "lost in the woods with a maniac" scenario I had ordered and then thankfully so much more. (Not to ruin anything, but I am a sucker for flicks that are kind enough to include an audience of corpses in the climax.)

Perhaps most importantly in a film of this kind is the fact that the killer "Baby face" works as a formidable threat and kudos to director DAVE PARKER for not being all stingy with his boogeyman. Gore hounds have a rare reason to rejoice as well, the murders depicted are for the most part gloriously old school and put many a recent slasher remake to shame. The over-the-top cartoon violence fun only wanes when the slasher tributes end and the more modern torture procedural is momentarily adopted.

For the most part, THE HILLS RUN RED's weakest aspects tend to work in its favor. I'm sure if you are of the mind to enjoy the gore, the nudity and the monstrous hulk known as "Baby face" that you have shuffled your way through much more inept excursions than this. I wouldn't be dusting off the mantel for too many awards if I was DAVE PARKER, but I would be patting myself on the back for delivering a fitting and surprisingly substantial addition the backwoods slasher sub genre.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Nadine S. on an Seaside Simian Sociopath

Posted on By aunt john

When I was a child, maybe 5 years old, I happened to catch a glimpse of a monster movie my parents were watching. I haven't seen more than maybe 15 minutes altogether, but I still remember one particular scene. I hope somebody can help me identify the movie. It is probably from the ‘70s or early ‘80s, and was probably a T.V. production.

The action took place in a large U.S./American city with a bay. The monster was a giant, orange (I think) monkey, and it actually lived in the water.

Yes, an underwater monkey.

It came out from time to time to eat people. I don't remember how big he was, but I'd say like twice human-size. This one scene I have in mind is with two guys going out into the bay on a small sailboat. Maybe they wanted to find the monster. One of them bends over the side of the boat to look into the water, and there's the monkey looking back at him from under the water surface.

I don't know what happens next, but I guess the monkey grabbed the guy.

Does that sound familiar to anyone?

Thanks for your help!

Trick 'R Treat

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Believe the hype, ignore the backlash, the long awaited TRICK ‘R TREAT is definitely more treat than trick. Not only standing tall as an unabashed love letter to everybody's favorite holiday, this movie succeeds as an ode to anthology films, horror comics and a twisted yet less cynical sensibility all but forgotten. If you're a fan of eighties horror and have been missing the goofy dark fun of films like FRIGHT NIGHT, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS or especially CREEPSHOW, I guarantee you are going to gobble this up. It's scary without being nauseating, funny without being brain dead and overall works like an injection of candy corn right into your veins. Sometime between now and the 31st of October do yourself a solid and rent or buy this film. If TRICK ‘R TREAT doesn't get you in the Halloween spirit then frankly, you are a lost cause and deserve whatever egging, T.P.ing or flaming crap filled paper bag you find on your doorstep.

I won't go into the whys and why nots of this films history. Most of you are probably aware that it missed a chance at a theatrical run and has wound up as a direct to DVD offering instead. Truth is, I'm not sure that modern audiences even deserve this kind of movie anyway. It's beautifully shot, having no interest in looking sewer doused, characters are not required to be humiliated before death and at no point did I feel like somebody was trying to sell me a cell phone, a pair of jeans or a can of soda. If you've been waiting for the scariest movie ever made, keep waiting, this is more about that crisp creepy breeze that blows into town in autumn and the anticipation and excitement that occurs when darkness falls. It's not a nail-biting ordeal; it's a joyful, yet sometimes potently subversive salute to the convivial side of the macabre.

Remarkably director/writer MICHAEL DOUGHERTY has captured the spirit of All Hallow's Eve like a bat in a fishing net, a feat made more impressive when you consider how many have failed at that task before him. Rather than compartmentalize his tales, he allows them to weave and interact and the result is rather innovative in the realm of anthology horror. This is obviously a work of love and it shows and although its final moments could have used a little extra punch, there are few things to complain about here. Maybe I'm suddenly old fashioned or maybe this film just falls right in line with my own tastes, but one thing is for sure, there's no doubt I'll to be watching TRICK ‘R TREAT every October (along with my other holiday standbys) till that old grim reaper comes and tears me away.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Scott N. on Hit-And-Run Van of the Third Kind

Posted on By aunt john

Hey I just discovered this site and it is awesome!

I've got a Name That Trauma I need help with. It's a movie I saw playing in a video store when I was very young, maybe 6 or 7, which would have been circa 1985. All I remember is the one scene I saw.

It was outside at night, and there is a white van parked on the street or maybe at some kind of gas station. There is some kind of alien monster covered in blood, but it's pretty small. In retrospect it kind of reminded me of a chestburster from ALIEN. Anyway, it looks like maybe the monster/alien is going to escape without being seen, but the woman driving the van accidentally runs it over. I think also this may have been the end of the movie, I recall seeing the credits, but I could be wrong.

I've got to know what this movie is. Somebody help!

UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Extra big thanks to reader newnathandetroits for nailing it with ALIEN PREDATOR.