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Mickster on:: Harper's Island (2009)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

It is hard to believe that Harper's Island premiered six years ago on CBS. A thirteen-week slasher movie? For me, it was a horror fan's dream come true. If you missed this treat when it originally aired, take my advice-run, do not walk, over to Netflix and binge-watch all thirteen episodes. Granted, I do not always make the best choices; for instance, my choice in husbands sucks, but for important things such as this, you can trust me. Even if you watched it six years ago, I encourage you to revisit this gem. I went into it the second time knowing the punch line, but my goal was to see if there were clues I missed the first time. Perhaps I should just list thirteen things about Harper's Island that made it so fantastic and ahead of its time. (I was extremely careful not to include spoiler.)

1. Being an English teacher, I will begin with the first thing I noticed about the show. It was clearly inspired by Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None (1939). An isolated island where people, many with secrets, start being murdered one by one definitely pays homage to Ms. Christie's masterpiece as do most slasher films as I think the novel is the perfect template for such films.

2. In addition to the slasher features, it is an excellent who-done-it mystery. Even after a second viewing, I found no clues that the perpetrator was involved until near the end of episode 11. In fact, it did a great job using "red herrings" to distract the viewer.

3. Speaking of those red herrings, more than once during the series, I was convinced of the guilt of several characters only to have those characters murdered…then it was back to the drawing board!

4. Something else that Harper's Island did well that slasher films usually do not have time to do is develop the characters. For instance, one stereotypical-looking blonde character went on to be more than I anticipated in the first episode meaning she was not the "dumb" blonde (this is coming from a blonde, BTW).

5. The concept that one season could tell one complete story is yet another reason Harper's Island was way ahead of its time. Think about shows such as American Horror Story that have become so popular in the years since Harper's Island. Sadly, this concept did not "jive" with the public in 2009.

6. Discovering in the first episode that no character was safe, even a well-known actor in a cast of lesser-known actors, let me know that all bets were off when it came time for killing. I remember thinking about this when I watched the first episode of Sleepy Hollow when a known actor was killed off in the first minutes of the show.

7. Having emotional reactions to the deaths of characters I had come to care about was something I had not anticipated the first time I watched the show. For instance, the deaths of one couple in particular left me sobbing. This couple in the first episode did not made an impact with me, but as the series progressed, I came to care very much about them, so when their time came, I was crushed.

8. The isolation and atmosphere of the setting added greatly to the suspense of the show. Knowing that these characters were essentially cut off from the outside world made my tension increase with each episode. A small island that can only be accessed by boat or aircraft, a big, creepy hotel with hidden passages, and a deep, dark forest with danger possibly hiding behind each tree was a prescription for terror!

9. Having a creepy, socially awkward child in the cast is always a plus. You just know that at some point a) they are going to say creepy things, "One by one" and b) are going to go missing at the worst possible time, "Has anyone seen _______?"

10. Keeping the identity of the killer hidden until almost the end was quite impressive to me. Typically, I can figure it out sooner, but like I said at the beginning (#2), it was near the end of episode 11 before I even suspected this individual.

11. Something else I found effective in the show was the characters did not discover anything was off until several characters were dead. Granted their technology was not as advanced as now, clever use of text messages led people to believe that certain characters had left, so they did not suspect foul play…at first.

12. A sense of betrayal made some of the last deaths more devastating. The fact that said characters trusted this individual without question (as I had as a viewer) made the reveal that much more heart wrenching.

13. Lastly, even though some found the eventual motive didn't make sense, I was fine with it. Why, you may ask. Well, for thirteen weeks I was glued to my TV experiencing something I thought I never would-a "slasher movie" on network TV. So bravo to CBS for having the balls, nads, nards, or whatever you want to call them to do it!

Mickster's TV Halloween Funhouse

Posted on By unkle lancifer

UNK SEZ:You know a holiday is approaching because here comes our old pal Mickster to kindly host another funhouse! Yay! This time out Mickster has selected images from Halloween themed TV episodes and specials. How many do you kinder-critters recognize?

Traumafession:: Mickster on Victims for Victims: The Theresa Saldanda Story

Posted on By unkle lancifer

This past summer, I was waiting for a couple to come pick up my old sofa and love seat they had bought. In my boredom, I started scanning the options on YouTube to kill the time. I stumbled upon Victims for Victims and decided to watch it. I know I watched Victims for Victims: The Theresa Saldana Story when it originally aired back in November of 1984, but I must have blocked out the intensity of a key scene in the movie. It was not long before the previously mentioned intense scene appeared. The scene lasted no longer than 2 minutes, but it felt like an eternity. I felt like a helpless onlooker as the stalker stabbed Ms. Saldana repeatedly. It made me sick to see that people just stood by as she was screaming, "He's killing me! He's killing me!" without lifting a hand to help her. I imagine some of the people were in a state of shock, but there were tons of people just watching it happen.

Thankfully, a man delivering water sprang into action, and stopped the attacker. Once the waterman stopped the would-be murderer, Ms. Saldana stumbled back to her apartment in a harrowing point of view shot. It is uncomfortable, to say the least, to hear Theresa struggle for air as she arrived at her apartment door, while her husband, played by Adrian Zmed, looked on in horror. No wonder my little thirteen-year-old mind blocked out this horrific scene! Just writing about it now is giving me chill bumps! Watch the scene here if you dare, but remember, you cannot un-see it!

The Incredible Werewolf By Mickster

Posted on By unkle lancifer

When Werewolf premiered on Fox in 1987, I was instantly hooked. A prime time show about a handsome werewolf trying desperately to cure his lycanthropy? What's not to like? When the Chiller Channel began airing episodes of Werewolf a few years back, I was stunned to realize that Werewolf and The Incredible Hulk share many of the same qualities. I loved The Incredible Hulk when I was a little girl, so I am surprised it didn't occur to me back in 1987 that Werewolf is essentially The Incredible Hulk. Not convinced? Sit back and I will explain.

Eric Cord (John J. York) and David Banner (Bill Bixby) were changed by freak circumstances. Eric's best friend, in werewolf form, attacked him, and David was altered by an accidental overdose of gamma radiation.

"Alamo" Joe Rogan (Lance LeGault) and Jack McGee (Jack Colvin) are essentially the same character. Each is relentless in their pursuit of their quarry, "Alamo" Joe as a bounty hunter and Mr. McGee as a tabloid reporter in search of a juicy scoop for his paper.

Eric and David stumble upon people in need, as they search for a cure for their alter egos. In "The Boy Who Cried Werewolf," Eric hid in a young boy's tree house eventually helping the boy and his mother from her abusive boyfriend. In "Death in the Family," David saves a young, crippled girl whose evil family members are plotting her death, so they can inherit the family fortune.

While in the form of their alter egos, Eric and David never harm innocent people even though they are supposedly unaware of their actions during the change, which shows their goodness.

Eric and David must move on at the end of each episode before their pursuers catch them and to continue pursuing a cure to rid them of their alter egos for good. Eric is in search of the originator of his "bloodline" that, at first, he thinks is Janos Skorzeny (played by a scary-looking Chuck Connors) because killing the "head" werewolf will cure his lycanthropy. David, a physician, tries to cure himself and is constantly seeking the means to do so.

See? Werewolf and The Incredible Hulk are the same show! It is a shame that Werewolf only lasted one season. I thought and still think that it is a cool show. So, are there any Werewolf fans out there that agree with the Mickster?

Joint Traumafession :: Unk & Mickster on "Hush"

Posted on By unkle lancifer

The other day (read months ago) my old pal Mickster and I were talking about what else, scary crap that scared us. I mentioned to her that one thing people seem to underestimate is the importance of when you view something. I'm not talking about what age; I'm talking about what mind frame. In other words if a tornado recently killed your favorite cow, it's the wrong time to watch TWISTER. I didn't use that dumb example whilst talking with the Mickster. Instead I told her of an ancient dark memory that took place in the chilling nightmare winter of 1999. I was going through a depressing break-up, no doubt imagining a long grey road ahead and I decided that the perfect thing to watch was BUFFY THE VAPIRE SLAYER as it was sure to cheer me up because many of my imaginary pals live on that show. The episode airing that evening was "Hush" which pitted Buffy and cohorts against a small tribe of grimacing floating demons that hung around with shifty creatures in straightjackets. At some point during the episode, I was surprised to find myself morbidly horrified in a way I could not have predicted. Mind you, it wasn't fear I felt but a kind of pessimist nausea mixed with an inescapable sense of doom. I was going to die alone and the universe couldn't hold in its giggle.

Upon hearing my confession Mickster revealed that she, my unmet friend, on the same evening albeit in a different time zone was experiencing a similar encounter with the episode. With her permission, here is her story…

On December 13, 1999, I underwent surgery for the second time in a three-week period. It was an unpleasant experience that was compounded by the fact that I was 2,000 miles from my family, and my husband, at the time, was a worthless alcoholic that dumped me at the hospital to go through it all alone. The next day, I was in a great deal of pain from the surgery and gas pain that accompanies surgery as well. I was hooked up to a morphine pump to manage the pain. As I struggled to become comfortable on the evening of December 14, I looked for something to watch on TV. I was delighted to find an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer just starting. The evening was about to become memorable, as this was the episode titled "Hush." As I watched, the "Gentlemen" stealing hearts from victims who were unable to scream naturally disturbed me, but I was also aware that it was kind of a metaphor for my life at the time. I felt as though I had no voice, as my heart was slowly being ripped from my chest day-by-day and year-by-year. In fact, the pain from the surgery did not compare to my emotional pain. Who would think that an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer would force me to recognize the real pain in my life? It took me a bit longer to gain my voice to destroy the "Gentleman" that was ripping at my heart than it did Buffy, but I eventually did. Thanks, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (and the morphine) for opening my eyes.

O.K., Mickster's story kind of makes my story sound like a Haagen-Dazs stained Cathy comic. What can I say? I'm easily discombobulated. Egad, what kind of cad leaves his wife in the hospital? And what kind of person still uses the word "cad"? Anyway, the point remains, when one is in a fragile state of mind they are that much more vulnerable to the creeps. Why just recently Kindertrauma Castle was under siege by miniscule calamities of one sort or another and I thought I might escape by falling asleep to a scratchy HORROR HOTEL VHS tape. I didn't get half way through the gloomy chant-filled opening credits before I decided to nix that plan and switch to XANADU. I may have even quoted LaWANDA PAGE in MAUSOLEUM (1983) by exclaiming "No more grieving, I'm leaving!" as I pulled out the tape. Incidentally, I want that quote carved on my tombstone.

On the other hand let's not overlook the fact that the "Gentleman" are indeed legitimately off-putting even in the lightest of circumstances. I mean, they're like POLTERGEIST 2's Reverend Kane crossed with the chauffer from BURNT OFFERINGS, shmooshed with PHANTASM's "Tall Man" piled up with any number of ghouls from THE SENTINEL, times four and with a dollop of Mr. Burns and "The Slender Man" on the side. Worse still, and this may be where I outdo Mickster on the trauma front, when I look in the mirror I know the years before I resemble one are few! Oh no, now I'm getting depressed again, is it getting darker in here? Where is my XANADU tape? What cruel inhuman monster would hide it?

Mickster's Mighty Match-Up Funhouse

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Last week when I told our old pal Mickster I planned to do a funhouse based on FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES, she came up with the idea to have a puzzle where you matched up the show's villains with their proper cursed objects. I told her that was a swell idea but I wasn't going to do it on account of I was way too lazy. Undaunted by my chronic slothfulness, Mickster took matters into her own hands and snagged those images herself. Thanks Mickster, you have gone above and beyond the call of duty! Now, can you folks match the characters with the objects that made them crazy?

5 Underrated TV Movies with vampires by Mickster

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Nick Knight (1989)

This failed pilot (until much later with a different cast) is a superior TV movie. The soundtrack loaded with awesome 80s tunes. Rick Springfield is super sexy as the vampire cop on the trail of what he thinks is another vampire killing the homeless for their blood. Try this one if you have not seen it before. I tried watching Forever Knight (the much later series), but I could not get past the fact that Rick Springfield was missing.

The Norliss Tapes (1973)

I adore all things Dan Curtis, so I loved this one right away. It had a lot of potential, so I am surprised this pilot was not picked up Roy Thinnes is fantastic as the investigative reporter helping Angie Dickinson discover what happened to her "late" husband, the artist, who used unusual art supplies.

3) Cliffhangers-"The Curse of Dracula" (1979)

The only storyline I recall from the short-lived Cliffhangers series is "The Curse of Dracula". No wonder since I have always had a thing for vampires and Michael Nouri. It was the best of both worlds! Unfortunately, I cannot find this one anywhere.

Vampire (1979)

Another failed pilot is the source of this gem. Richard Lynch is creepy and sexy as Prince Anton Voytek that emerges from the ground growling because of the groundbreaking for a new church. I remembered that scene from my childhood. This movie has some excellent actors besides Lynch such as Jason Miller (The Exorcist) and E.G. Marshall (Creepshow).

Count Dracula BBC (1977)

I wrote a traumafession about one particular scene from this adaptation of Bram Stoker's classic. I blocked this scene until I actually read the novel in high school. I have seen many adaptations of this novel, but this one has to be the closest to the book on film. Louis Jourdan, even though he would not be my first choice, is surprisingly good as the Count.

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (1974) By Mickster

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Loyal readers of Kindertrauma know that the Mickster loves Rankin-Bass Christmas specials. In fact, my very first traumafession in 2007 was about Frosty the Snowman. Over the years, I have also written about The Year without a Santa Claus and Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. This holiday season I share my feelings on ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.

Junctionville has a problem. The people of the town have just received their letters to Santa unopened. Unfortunately, Santa is quite perturbed about a letter he received that called him a "fraudulent myth" that was simply signed "all of us". Now, the townsfolk must devise a plan to make Santa happy again before he passes them by on Christmas Eve. Egad! What a traumatic thought!

This special is one of many (Rudolph, Year Without a Santa, The Grinch, etc.) that convinced me that Christmas could be canceled due to some unforeseen problem. As a child, I found it especially troublesome that a child (Albert the jerk-head mouse) would write a letter saying that Santa was not real. I speculate it is sour grapes on his part because contrary to the signature on the letter he, in fact, has no friends. Little Mickster did, however, find it heartwarming that two adults would try to make things right with Santa. Joshua Trundle, the clockmaker, decided the solution was to make an enormous clock that would play a special song for Santa on Christmas Eve, and Father Mouse attempted to convince his troublemaking son that Santa was indeed real.

The music in TTNBC makes it quite special. "Give Your Heart a Try," sung by Father Mouse to the doubtful and arrogant Albert is catchy and fun. I have noticed that this song is cut when it airs on ABC Family. That is just unacceptable. "Even a Miracle Needs a Hand," sung by Joshua Trundle to his sad children to raise their hopes simply makes me smile with a hint of a tear. "Christmas Chimes are Calling Santa," played for an annoyed Santa on Christmas Eve brought relief to me as a child because I knew Santa would forgive the town and come after all.

There was plenty of suspense in TTNBC for me as young child. Would the town stop blaming Mr. Trundle for the clock not working before he and his family starved for lack of work? Would Albert (the stupid moron) fix the clock in time? Would Santa forgive the town? Bottom line-Believe in Santa and be good, or there could be dire consequences!

P.S. Santa looks totally bizarre sporting buckteeth and no mustache!