Poor Jessica, she just got released from a four month stay at a mental institution and she ain't feeling so great. I guess riding around in a hearse and making crafty tombstone rubbings on tissue paper isn't as therapeutic as you'd think. ZOHRA LAMPERT not to be confused with TYNE DALY stars as the twitchy title character in this spooky and subtle sleeper. She along with her long-suffering husband BARTON HAEYMAN from THE EXORCIST have just escaped the chaos of New York and bought a beautiful house in the New England countryside. They've even brought along a bug eyed walrus-faced pal named Woody to help with the apple orchard. Yes, all Jessica needs is a little fresh air and some peace and quiet and maybe she'll stop having those nasty audio and visual hallucinations. When they arrive at what is referred to ominously as, "The old Bishop place" they find an ethereal red headed squatter named Emily. You can tell this film takes place in the seventies because instead of shooting her in the face and calling the cops, they invite her to stick around, drink some wine and play MELANIE type songs on her guitar. Inevitably hubby and hottie hippy chick share horny glances and Jessica begins her nosedive into full blown madness. You'll be right there with her because the most impressive thing about this movie is that it locks you into it's unreliable narrator's head and it does not let you go. There's a near constant clammer of subtle and not so subtle sounds, creakings, moanings, whispering voices, some are Jessica's "Don't tell them, they won't believe you!" and some are not, "I'm in your blood!" There's also an overwhelming sense of internal isolation that brings to mind CHARLOTTE GILMAN's famous short story THE YELLOW WALLPAPER. The plot is as evasive as a wraith. It goes from psychological thriller to ghost story to vampire tale and back again and it's impossible to put your thumb down on what's really going on. Unlike most films where the audience is asked to view things miles ahead of its protagonists, you never have any more information then Jessica does. We begin and end our story with Jessica floating in a small boat pondering what she has experienced– "Nightmares or dreams, madness or insanity, I don't know which is which…" Don't be surprised if by film's end you wind up in the same perplexing boat.

INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

• The mute waif roaming the woods
• Murder of the mole!
• Emily coming out of the water
• Discovering Woody on the tractor
• Waking up encircled by the creepy, scarred townsfolk

 

Like much of Disney's output during the late seventies/early eighties there is an undercurrent in this film that's a tad bit unsettling. It's not a proper horror film for sure, but in some ways it follows the classic trope closer than most "proper" horror films do. What's that you say? Unkle lancifer has lost his marbles? Before you grab your torches hear me out. We start off with a group of desperate travelers looking for shelter. This is how every old dark house thriller begins including OLD DARK HOUSE. They then find what appears to be an abandoned ghost ship to take refuge in. Resembling a gothic cathedral, the spacecraft Cygnus could be viewed as a sort of haunted castle. Inside they meet a mad scientist MAXMILLIAN SCHELL and his formidable creation Maximillion, a bulky metal Golem that one of the characters compares to Frankenstein's monster (He actually looks like a giant floating swiss army knife.) Suspicious of their host, the travelers try to settle in as they learn clue after clue about their benefactor's true nature. After horror icon ANTHONY PERKINS is killed by the dreaded Maximillion (he's shredded by one of his blades) the jig is indeed up. It is also revealed that the entire crew of the ship including one of the traveler's fathers, has fallen prey to Reinhart's experiments and are now zombie slaves. The rest of the movie of course concerns the escape and destruction of the "castle". True, there are cute robots and lots of laser gun firing but this is all just sci-fi window dressing. THE BLACK HOLE even offers a glimpse into a place few horror films dare go…hell itself. The film's final astonishing set pieces involve rivers of flowing lava, fiery explosions and the marching of hooded figures through a cavernous landscape that would give HEIRONYMUS BOSCH pause. You gotta feel sorry for all the lil' tykes out there who were just looking to tame their STAR WARS jones. Sure there ARE long stretches that are goofy and outdated and the cast seems ripped from one of the era's lesser disaster flicks but THE BLACK HOLE is much, much darker than you'd think.

 INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

• The introduction of Maximillion
• Perkins trying to protect himself with a book and failing miserably
• Reinhardt and Maximillion merging atop a cliff and making a scarab-like silhouette

 

 

 

 Are you itching to get into the Halloween spirit but don't have the time or the energy to murder a transient in your basement? Simply watch LADY IN WHITE, it will take you there and right quick! Inevitable Traumatot LUKAS HAAS stars as a weird but lovable horror nerd circa 1962. Due to a fiendish prank performed upon him by two admittedly hilarious bullies, he has to spend the night in the school's coat closet. There he not only witnesses a ghostly apparition, but also finds himself somewhat of a witness to the little ghost girl's murder. He too is attacked by the faceless perpetrator, and after some really cool psychedelic KEN RUSSEL type dreams, he wakes to find the killer is still at large and that he's bound to be his next target. The town folks, having bared witness to 10 tragic child murders over the years, decide the black janitor is the perfect scapegoat. Part ghost story, part murder mystery, part nostalgic time capsule, this movie plays like SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY KILLS A MOCKINGBIRD. It's also further proof that director FRANK LaLOGGIA (FEAR NO EVIL) is an unusually talented director with far too few films on his resume. The film is so well realized and so visually captivating it's a wonder he never became a household name. Masquerading as a Spielberg type kid-friendly adventure, viewers will likely be taken aback by what sharp little teeth this spook show has. With Gothic seaside cliffs, dilapidated haunted houses, and fog-drenched forests worthy of a HAMMER film, LADY IN WHITE just bleeds atmosphere. Throw in a trio of criminally underrated character actors, KATHERINE HELMOND, ALEX ROCO and LEN CARIOU and you have a film that miraculously juggles dozens of storylines and themes, but is always focused on earning it's genuine scares.

INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

• The coat closet
• Lady in White's first appearance at the window
• Lady in white coming down the stairs in back of Haas
• The killer revealed in the station wagon
• "Have you ever seen a dream walking? Well I did…"

 

 

This seventies action/horror hybrid was a late night television mainstay in the eighties. Any kid happening upon it while switching channels was instantly glued to the sofa right up until the nightmare-inducing finale. PETER FONDA, WARREN OATES, LORETTA SWITT and LARA PARKER play two couples looking for a little R&R in a righteous R.V. Instead they stumble across a depraved satanic ritual in full swing. At first the inebriated pals think they've lucked out and discovered a hippie orgy — that is until the masked leader of the coven brandishes a blade and guts a naked nubile necromancer like she was a carp. Loud mouth Loretta exposes the camper full of witnesses and there starts a harrowing cross-country road rally that would humble MAD MAX. Economic, inventive, and filled with some the best car chases you're likely to see, RACE also invokes one of the best paranoia moods this side of ROSEMARY'S BABY. Almost everyone the couples come into contact with as they try to flee the cult, from trailer park oldsters to toothless hillbilly car mechanics, seems to be a possible buddy of Beelzebub. Even if you tried to resist this old school thrill ride, the soundtrack itself will grab you by the collar and pull you along with it. Complete with a hopeless ending that modern test screening audiences would jettison in a heart beat, this wrong place, wrong time movie gets everything right.

INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

• Witnessing the sacrifice "That's not rough, that's choice!"
• The fate of Ginger the dog
• Kitchen o'rattlesnakes
• Kick-ass Fonda in Sonny Bono garb, taking care of business atop the R.V.