This is a scan of the bank my parents bought for me in the Holy Redeemer Hospital gift shop when I was born.
I think it inadvertently set the tone for my sense of humor during those formative years.
your happy childhood ends here!
I think it inadvertently set the tone for my sense of humor during those formative years.
This quintessential family movie is most children's first experience with cinema's remarkable capacity to induce fear. No upbeat musical number or happy ending can undo the ordeal that is Dorothy Gale's Journey. Unconvinced? Take out the hallmark sentiments and what do you have? The story of a young girl with presumably dead parents whose beloved pet is handed over to the town psycho for euthanasia, whose happy home life is erased by the wrath of mother nature, and who's transported to a nightmarish netherworld that's populated with hideous troll creatures, governed by a floating green demonic head and terrorized by a poppy pushing witch and her army of ghoul-faced flying monkeys. Certainly, there is "no place like home" if this hell zone is the alternative. As if her new stomping grounds were not uncomfortable enough, said witch has a personal vendetta against Dot since she inadvertently crushed her favorite sibling to death under a house when she showed up. Sure, she makes a bunch of fast pals with the local gays, but it's only after being forced to commit homicide that she is viewed worthy of returning home.
INDELIBLE SCENE(S):
Any involving Margaret Hamilton's brilliantly villaino
Alright, perhaps the makers of the original Oz can be given the benefit of the doubt. They weren't intentionally trying to curdle the child audience's peace of mind. But what in blazes were the makers or "Return" thinking? Unflappable Fairuza Balk's journey is unquestionably grim and horrific and there's no musical reprieve in sight. Poor Dorothy is immediately sent to the nut-house for jabbering about her previous visit to Oz, these ramblings are diagnosed as delusional and intensive shock therapy is suggested. (Kudos to the madman who designed the shock machine because they were clever enough to make an atrocious happy face out of its dials and knobs.) Mother Nature again intervenes though this time she mixes things up by sending a deadly flash flood Dorothy's way. Once returned to Oz, she finds her old friends turned to stone, an indescribably twisted marauding gang of thugs known as "wheelers" and an equally misanthropic Witch who collects decapitated heads like Imelda Marcos collected shoes. Her new pumpkin-headed pal Jack seems nice enough but not exactly the kind of figure you'd want tucking you into bed at night. Obviously great effort was made to duplicate the feel of the original L. Frank Baum book's illustrations by W.W Denslow, and the results are gorgeous but undeniably creepy. Although considered a major misstep upon its release, "Return" has garnered much favor over the years. It may be one hell of a twisted vision but that just might be what makes it so unforgettable to its fans and perhaps one of the most underrated films of all time.
INDELIBLE SCENE(S):
Mixed media by Lance Vaughan
Laura's trippy nightmare at around the 2:45 mark still haunts my subconscious some 30 years after this Little House aired:
If there was ever one show on television that was the least likely to induce chills it was this depression era family friendly drama. That is until 1978, when Elizabeth hit puberty and all hell broke loose on Walton mountain. Clinging desperately to her youth and unwilling to accept the inevitability of her oncoming decrepitude, the no longer adorable gingerfrau Elizabeth inadvertently invites a poltergeist to terrorize her family with sub-par piano playing, and the smashing of worthless heirlooms. Stones levitate, mirrors fog up, and radios stop working whenever the schlep-rock carrot-top is present. Finally, the tension culminates when the specter wreaks havoc at an ill-conceived slumber party. In order to dispel the presence, our war torn, copper-topped hero must renounce her childhood and own up to her gerontophobia. In the voice over epilogue provided by the always mole-faced John Boy, we are informed that the supernatural incidents were never repeated after our eumelanin-challenged heroine's impromptu exorcism.
 INDELIBLE SCENE(S): That crazy rag doll getting up and walking around!