kindertrauma

Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I was on the fence in regards to whether I wanted to see the latest monster mash-up GODZILLA X KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE. I very much wanted to spend time with the giant ape and the humongous radioactive lizard but I knew I’d have to endure packing peanut scenes involving boring humans staring at computers, pushing buttons and speaking gibberish. I’m not sure who I was kidding though because about five minutes into the movie I was indeed in my happy place, blissfully lost from reality and hanging out with roaring gargantuan beings who stomp on buildings and in Godzilla’s case, nap curled up in the Roman Colosseum like an exhausted house cat. Sure, there’s still some pesky humans poking about but it’s mostly the amiable likes of scrappy yee-hawing, eighties music loving monster dentist/vet “Trapper” (THE GUEST’s Dan Stevens) and likable and lanky adoptive mother/scientist/ Ilene Andrews (NIGHT HOUSE’s Rebecca Hall). The two apparently had some kinda fling in collage but happily we’re spared the details to make room for the more interesting in-depth analysis of the complicated social life and ever rotating pecking order of moody colossi. As an added bonus, the majority of the film takes place in a ridiculous upside down center Earth space that gives off some serious LAND OF THE LOST vibes. I found myself immediately regretting not paying the extra clams to experience this vibrant Saturday morning cartoon madhouse in what I'm sure would be spectacular 3-D.

I have to admit I did not appreciate seeing my usually thoughtful pal Kong picking up a baby giant ape he just met and using him to bludgeon his attacking foes but the lil’ dude seemed to recover (and even forgive) quickly and I’m sure the younger audience must have found the slapstick pummeling hilarious. In fact, what Adam Wingard’s second excursion into this world delivers so wonderfully is the toys in a sandbox, destructive power fantasy joy inherent with these fantastical creatures. It may not impress critics as much a the deeper, more grounded GODZILLA MINUS ONE but it does have the power to make at least this viewer remember what it was like to be a kid again (after viewing, I immediately went home and google-gawked at the latest toy-line based on the film and although I do not have the disposable cash to purchase such items, was not disappointed). I was also very delighted to see my favorite character show up (spoiler alert) and that would be the angelic behemoth moth Mothra who I am completely in awe of and possibly in love with. The cherry on this day-go cake is the introduction of a new misunderstood female titan named Shimo who is gorgeous and blasts ice out of her mouth. Although I’m subtracting points for relying on the tired ginger bully trope, I enjoyed this diversion more than Wingard’s previous stomp in the franchise thanks to its goofy childlike spirit and positive closure that involves our beloved victors united and waving goodbye over a hill like rogue violent Care Bears showering the world with earned camaraderie and (green) blood soaked rainbow glitter.

Late Night with The Devil

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Cameron and Colin Cairnes’ retro horror jaunt LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL has an irresistible cult-baiting premise. The year is 1977, Satanic panic is brewing and late night talk show host Jack Delroy (David Dastmalchian, who with recent appearances in THE BOOGEYMAN & THE LAST VOYAGE OF THE DEMETER is carving out some impressive genre star cred) is desperate for ratings (presumably to one up contemporaries like Johnny Carson). Unfortunate domino tiles begin to line up involving an impromptu conjuring of a certain “Mr.Wiggles” a demonic force that speaks through a pretty yet creepy young girl named Lily (Ingrid Torelli) who is the subject of a recent book (that recalls the infamous “Michelle Remembers”) on none other than Halloween night (Speaking of Halloween night, fans of BBC’s GHOSTWATCH (’92) should have a general idea of what’s in store). There’s little room for disbelief as Lily begins to spout information she herself could not possibly know as her chair alarmingly levitates. Eventually chaos reigns and audience members flee as hallucination and reality converge while the fully possessed Lily dispatches anyone who gets in the way of her exposing a massive skeleton in the not so innocent Delroy’s Faustian bargain lined closet.

LATE NIGHT is consistently entertaining thanks to it’s central performances (Dastmalchian is fantastic and Torelli’s arrival enlivens the proceedings even further) and the delicious anticipation of witnessing doubting Thomas “Carmichael the Conjurer” (Ian Bliss) proved wrong in his cynical skepticism. It’s not all smooth sailing though as the part faux-documentary (with Michael Ironside as narrator), part found footage, part backstage pass, part dream/delusion with a side of delirium, struggles tonally due to an indecisive foundation. Unlike the aforementioned GHOSTWATCH, LATE NIGHT doesn’t have much of a desire to fully commit to convincing the viewer of its own reality which gives it ample creative space to play around in but also dilutes the scares. It’s almost as if LATE NIGHT, by constantly pointing out different levels of artifice, shoots off its own foot in the process. There’s no real danger in a cardboard cut-out world. Still, no reason to throw out the possessed baby with the holy bathwater. This film’s glib, gimmicky nature may prevent it from getting truly under one’s skin but that doesn’t stop it from being a enjoyable send-up and a future shoo-in low commitment annual Halloween watch.

The First Omen

Posted on By unkle lancifer

It’s a tricky thing to mess around with an already established franchise, particularly in the realm of prequels. Like the perils of time travel, one minor blunder can seemingly tarnish or muddy the carefully placed previous groundwork. Arkasha Stevenson’s debut feature THE FIRST OMEN is that rarest of unicorns, it stands gallantly on its own legs if need be but also serves to enhance the classic(s) that came before it. Beyond being easily one of the best in its home series, it also radiates as a much appreciated ode to satanic seventies cinema in general. Richard Donner’s gothic forerunner happily haunts this religious epic but so does ROSEMARY’S BABY (’68), THE DEVILS (’71), THE EXORCIST (’73), SUSPIRIA (’77) and thanks to a spirited central performance, POSSESSION (’81). It almost feels like a family reunion of sorts and if you’re a fan of any of the aforementioned you should feel at home, albeit uncomfortably. This artsy monster has surprisingly sharp teeth.

Nell Tiger Free (who previously lurked in SERVANT) portrays put upon would be nun Margaret Daino who is sent to an Orphanage in Rome in 1971 to learn the ropes before committing herself to God. There she encounters creepy seemingly possessed kids, cigarette smoking/trampoline enjoying women of the cloth and the sexual temptations of disco (poor thing is even enticed by Boney M.’s “Daddy Cool” which wasn’t released until 1976 but I digress). Things are harrowing and trippy but overall manageable until a fellow pre-nunster soaks herself in gasoline, lights herself aflame and does the classic “This is for you” self hanging with accompanying window crash routine as displayed in the first film. Henceforth our gal Maggie is unraveling conspiracies within the church to expedite the arrival of the Antichrist and is forced to witness her wildly talented co-stars (won’t say who lives or dies but we’ve got the likes of Sonia Braga, Ralph (THE WITCH) Ineson, ALIEN 3’s Charles Dance and SHAUN OF THE DEAD’s Bill Nighy on deck) steamrolled FINAL DESTINATION-style whenever they start getting an inkling of the untoward goings on. You know the drill and if you’re like me you love said drill.

I won’t mention any names (sounds like SCHMEXORCIST: DA-BIEBER) but this film does everything right that a certain recent attempt to reignite a beloved religious horror franchise fumbled. Steven’s film feels lived in, weighty and real and the relationships of the people involved click and repel in believable, human ways. It understands, controls and commands its space and elicits genuine concern for its tortured protagonist (who endures much body horror and often emits the bleak dread of a Munch painting). It’s highbrow when it wants to be, lowbrow when it needs to be and is absolutely not ashamed to take the gloves off and be nasty as hell on occasion. It feels absolutely epic and some of the images and visions we’re subjected to reverberate like genuine experienced hallucinations as it slyly trains the viewer not to trust their own eyes. It’s just good film-making that not only takes its subject matter seriously but its audience as well. Hey, I’m as shocked as you are. I found this covert prequel highly entertaining, truly unnerving and deliciously morbid (even if I figured out its central twisty rug-pull from miles away). What’s more, I can honestly say it restored my faith if not in religion than at least in the potential for true art in commercial film. I’m giving it six hundred and sixty six clawed thumbs up.

Five (More) Underrated Monster Movies

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I will forever be grateful to my late father for taking me and my brothers to see the raging pile of cinematic pandemonium known as HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP (1980). Rarely has a film delivered such a schizo-mix of goofy guilelessness and pure exploitation. How can anyone resist a film brave enough to expose the epic confrontation between giant mutant fish men and the unflappable Troy McClure? Extra points scored when said flick features creature designs provided by none other than the brilliant Rob Bottin! This Roger Corman produced slime riot is cartoon-level silly for much of it’s runtime but I have to admit there are a few stalking scenes that still deliver authentic creeps and its final trashy jolt is an eye-popping ALIEN-inspired humdinger that may leave you reeling.

How in the world can anyone question the power and validity of made for TV movies when GARGOYLES (1972) is flying around? From it’s eerie opening narration to it’s unnerving aerial shots to its multitude of gorgeously created monster effects (Stan Winston’s work here rightfully earned an Emmy), this is a one of a kind monster mash that every horror fan should track down.

NECRONOMICON: BOOK OF THE DEAD (’93) is a squishy special effects heavy anthology loosely based on the work of H.P Lovecraft (who is portrayed by horror icon Jeffrey Combs in a wrap around segment). The Philadelphia-set third story “Whispers” is of special interest here as it was directed by the great Brian Yuzna and features absolutely freaky flying subterranean stingray-type creatures that are the stuff of nightmares (and could almost be related to my buddies THE BOOGENS (’81) or even THEY (2002). I’m a fan of the whole film but this third tale is disturbingly surreal and sports one hell of a sadistic mind-screw mean streak.

If you want to scare away potential friends just tell them you’re a fan of 2011’s prequel/re-quel THE THING and watch the light slowly evaporate from their eyes. Sure, I know the movie makes the mistake of slathering on unnecessary CGI and botches its climax (blame studio execs and rando test audiences) but it’s not nearly as faulty as its reputation suggests. There’s a great attention to detail that could only result from sincere reverence to John Carpenter’s classic, the cast is solid, the paranoia is substantial and more than a few of the hideous monstrosities it showcases are actually pretty impressive. It can’t compete with its predecessor for sure but it makes a fine optional companion piece and well, I just can’t resist its icy score and on-point arctic setting. One scene in particular always stands out to me involving Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s character observing stars in the night sky. It’s a pure moment of contemplation of the endless unfathomable nature of the universe and no effects are needed.

The ever clever Larry Cohen’s darkly funny flying monster movie Q: THE WINGED SERPENT (1982) features awesome aerial views of Manhattan and a gleefully retro stop motion animated beastie but the greatest ace it holds is the quirky acting stylings of one Michael Moriarty. I don’t know how he does it but Moriarty with his unpredictable eccentric mannerisms is somehow able to upstage a winged prehistoric Aztec God who sleeps in the Chrysler building and has a name I’m not even going to try to spell; it’s truly a remarkable thing. Cohen clearly felt the same way as he would continue to fan the flames of Moriarty’s idiosyncratic talents in several more collaborations. Over the course of his career, Cohen has delivered a surplus of cinematic gold to genre fans and this strange, eighties time capsule oddity, in my opinion, may be his grandest, most entertaining creation.

Name That Trauma: Devil Bob on Skeletal Remains

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hi.

I'm searching for a movie I watched as a little child by accident.

It was hard gore stuff and very unusual to be shown by a state sponsored
TV channel.

It was one scene I followed before freaking out and turning the
television off:

POV of an creature and/or animal in a forest. It follows an unaware guy.
Then it attacks, the guy is yelling and suffering. Then CUT TO: The guys
dead body, eaten till his bones from his neck on, head and face weren't
touched.

Anyone has a clue about the title following my description?

Best

Five (or Six) Underrated Thrillers By Ghastly1

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Anguish (1987)

Very hard to describe but this is one hell of a film and definitely shouldn't be missed. A film-within-a-film thriller about a group of people who are terrorized in a movie theater by a killer while watching a horror film about a murderous optometrist looking for eyeballs who stalks his victims in a movie theater. It's very intense and highly original, do yourself a favor and see it.

The Rosary Murders (1987)

Here is a film not to be missed. Detroit is plagued by a series of murders (what? I don't believe you) of priests and nuns, with each victim found holding a black rosary. The police cannot catch the serial killer and the Church can't protect its flock. When Father Robert Koesler (Donald Sutherland) hears a confession from the murderer, he isn't sure what to do (it's a toughie).  Can he respect the Seal of Confession even if it means putting more lives, perhaps even his own, in jeopardy? 

All American Murder (1991)

For all the giallo/whodunit fans out there, here is a film you should check out. An outcast with a past on the outs with his father and society in general gets transferred to a new college and falls in love with his dream girl; everything is looking to be on the upswing until she winds up getting torched and he takes the blame for it. Not wanting to fry himself -and with a little help from Christopher Walken- he sets out to clear his name, but it seems bodies keep piling up around him as the seamy underbelly of this seemingly perfect town and its inhabitants are exposed and the noose around his neck tightens. It's got funny, witty dialogue from likeable characters (as well as likeably hateable characters) and the atmosphere is taut but fun.

The Psycho Lover (1970)

A psychiatrist uses his position of influence and trust to induce a psychotic patient the police suspect of being a murdering rapist to off his wife. Things get fouled up when the wife finds out about his plan, cold bloodedly turns the tables and leaves his world shattered. Leaving aside a few gratingly crappy late 60's/early 70's pseudo folk songs and some campy scenes here and there, this is better than average for this type of film. All things considered it is entertaining throughout, with a definite sense of atmosphere, style and suspense.

Buried Alive (1989) and (1990)

The first of these films follows a young woman teaching at a spooky old girls’ school overrun by ants and staffed by some unusual types including Donald Pleasence. Spurred on by a series of horrific hallucinations, she begins to investigate the mysterious disappearances of several students. The second, A married woman and her lover plot to kill her husband to make off with the insurance money. However, their attempt to murder him using poisonous fish toxins backfires in surprising ways.

Five (Very) Underrated Thrillers By Ghastly1

Posted on By unkle lancifer

The Ghost Ship (1943)

An incredible film about a psycho sea captain which I can't recommend enough. This is a film way ahead of its time, containing all the elements of films made forty and fifty years later and it is made all the more striking in that it was practically a lost film for that entire time. I can only thank God that it was finally made available again.

Wise Blood (1979)

I think people forget Brad Dourif is a really good actor or that he had a career outside of Chucky. This film while perhaps not a conventional thriller or even a conventional film for that matter is as an extremely disturbing look at a deranged American mind as has ever been made.

Cry Terror! (1958)

Rod Steiger makes his first well deserved appearance on this list in this film. Now quite simply, Rod Steiger is one of the greatest bad guys in the history of cinema, here he plays an utterly ruthless mad bomber holding a family hostage and seeking to extort money in exchange for not blowing up airlines. It is pretty rough, especially considering the time it was made and if like me, you're a "low brow audience member that relies on cliches and cheap thrills because you don't like to use your head" as Bosley Crowther put it, you will love it. 

No Way to Treat a Lady (1968)

There are two reasons to see this and they are Rod Steiger and his accents/characters he plays. The story concerns an almost Woody Allen-esque nebbish jew New York City cop played by George Segal on the trail of an elusive thespian serial killer with a mommy complex playing a cat and mouse game with him. The film around him is fairly bland, but when Rod Steiger shows up and once again proves he was one of the greatest bad guys in the history of film, it is simply unforgettable as he slips in and out of various characters and displays moments of absolute unhinged apoplexy.

Experiment in Terror (1962)

Blake Edwards crafted one of the greatest and most unsettling thrillers ever made, bar none. In San Francisco, a sadistic asthmatic killer sets his sights on a woman played by Lee Remick with plans to terrorize her into robbing the bank she works at by threatening her and her younger sister. While it too is an excellent film, let us also not forget that knowingly or not, Don Siegel ripped this film off in several respects for Dirty Harry (1971).

My Kindertrauma(s) By Author Matt Forgit

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hello, awesome people of Kindertrauma!

As a lifelong horror fan, I have heard time and again that scary movies are bad for me, will keep me from sleeping, have no socially redeeming value, and turn ordinary, sweet people into savage murderers. Sound familiar? I would take the fictional creations that scared me as a child over the real-life frights of being an adult. Taxes, the news, the cost of groceries and rent, the education system, the general public, influencers, skinny jeans, ads in paid streaming services? Far scarier than Jason Voorhees, Leatherface, Killbots, Buffy St. John, or Creepozoids. The gruesome, grisly, ghastly images seen in my youth may have traumatized me or caused me fear, but I loved it. I still do.

We wouldn’t be here together on this page if we didn’t love to be scared. The following are some of the horrors that scarred me as a kid and served as inspiration for my latest novel, The Felicitous, a story about a woman who moves to a ghost town—one that may or may not be inhabited by a malicious, murderous cult.

Scooby-Doo: Vampire Bats and Scaredy Cats (1977).

Scooby-Doo was my gateway into grown-up horror. My favorite cartoon then and now, Channel 11 in my hometown played reruns early every weekday morning. I watched as I got ready for school, learning that the real monsters were people. Then I saw this episode, where Daphne’s friend Lisa would morph into a fanged, bloodthirsty vampire (complete with wild cougar growl sound effect). It started a deep childhood conviction that vampires were indeed real, and I was on their intended snack list. We had a walnut tree outside our house growing up. When the walnuts

would fall and crash down on the awnings, I would shudder and hide, because it was clearly the vampires coming for me. That made perfect sense to me at the time. We didn’t have sparkly, or friendly, vampires in those days—or Buffy to protect us.

The Haunted (1991).

This made-for-television movie took all of my fears and combined them. Ghosts, demons, things that go bump in the night, and some haggard looking monster that tried to hump the men in the house. I’d seen haunted house movies before, but this one had an extra, bonus terror—the beings in the house followed the family. Until then, I thought, “Hey, you could just move.” Oh, no. That was how I discovered that some spirits aren’t attached to the house, they’re attached to you. And they’ll follow you to the park and eat your picnic lunch before they take you to hell. Every noise in the house seemed twenty times louder and more sinister after I saw this movie. That shadow in the corner of my vision? Clearly, it was the Brunhilda-esque hump monster who would be throwing my Peanuts covers off of my bed at night and kissing my face with her rotted, black teeth.

Slaughter High (1986).

I rented this one on VHS from a Mom-and-Pop video store in town. Though it’s not particularly scary and I was too young at the time to understand how mean-spirited it is, I liked it…up to a point. But when Shirley’s death rolled around, a new fear was unlocked. Poor, dim Shirley, who decided the best idea during a killer’s revenge spree would be to take a bath in an abandoned school. I get it, Shirley, you’re covered in blood and guts. It’s gross. I’d hate it, too. But Shirley’s decision to leave the safety of her friends and get into the tub has stuck with me my entire life. The water in the tub turns to acid and fries, burns, and strips the flesh off of Shirley’s body in vivid, practical special effects detail. Does she get out of the tub quickly? No. Does she somehow have trouble simply stepping out of the bathtub to save herself? Yes. Shirley, you were not too bright, but your death has haunted me. If my shower makes a single noise, I’m convinced it’s the acid getting ready to burst through the pipes.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984).

I begged my dad to let me watch this on television when I was twelve. He relented and my little brain was blown away. Up until this point, I thought dreams couldn’t hurt you. Now I knew—they could kill you. Some creep in a dirty sweater with a clawed hand was coming and I couldn’t escape, no matter where I went. No one can escape their dreams. I was unsafe. My bed was a trap, a prison. Freddy would find me wherever I went and manipulate my dreams. I didn’t sleep for a week after I watched it. One night, my dad came into my room to ask what was wrong. I asked him where we go after we die and what happens to us. Dad shrugged and said, “Nothing. We just lie in blackness and don’t even know we’re dead. Forever.” Then, patting himself on the back and thinking he’d just given me gold-star comfort, he left me alone to envision being mauled by Freddy and descending into infinite blackness.

Creepshow 2 (1987).

The segment entitled “The Raft” has never, ever left the dark recesses of my brain. Deke’s yellow bikini? That rapey jerk Randy, who got exactly what was coming to him? But more than any of those things, the brutal, drawn-out death of poor, sweet Rachel at the hands (tentacles?) of the slimy, oily, garbage bag thing floating in the water. When she screamed, “It hurts!”, my youthful brain was forever disturbed on a deep level. Water, especially murky water, is horrifying enough on its own, full of creatures and beasts ready to attack. “The Raft” is next-level gruesome tomfoolery. Whenever I am near any body of water, my eyes look for the black mass that eagerly waits to mindlessly dissolve and devour me. Not today, aquatic Glad trash bag. Not today!

Special mention goes to those hissing Sleestaks, Jaws (1975), 1988’s The Blob (especially when it traps lovable Fran in the phone booth), Michael Myers standing under the red light outside the hospital in 1981’s Halloween II, John Diehl in 1984’s Angel, Nickelodeon’s Into the Labyrinth, and that absolutely harrowing HBO short film where the film reels eat some unsuspecting guy. These have all remained in my subconscious for decades.

Thank you so much for reading! I will be signing copies of my books The Felicitous and You Better Watch Out at The Horror Depot’s Author Con at Rhode Island College’s Union Hall on Saturday, March 23rd, so if you’re around, come say hello to me and share your childhood traumas!