kindertrauma

Name That Trauma:: Brother Bill on a Sightless Backwoods Cabin Dweller

Posted on By unkle lancifer

It's one thing to forget the name of a movie you saw as a little kid 20, 30, 40 years ago but this "Name That Trauma" is just plain embarrassing because the film I'm trying to place couldn't be more than a decade old, meaning it came out sometime in the late 2000s.

All I remember is there is a girl living in a backwoods cabin with no eyes (or eyes were removed, or blind… whatever it was, she couldn't see) and she wears a blindfold with those old-timey flat glass eyes attached to it (looks very creepy.) I want to say the cabin decor and the way she dressed was almost retro-50s ish(?), as if stuck in a time warp, wearing hand-me-down clothes from generations ago. Somehow a man wanders into her cabin and he ends up with his own eyes removed and his still living body hanging from a tree with a rope run through his empty eye-sockets. OUCH! It may have been a subtitled film, I can't remember.

It's NOT Sheitan (2006) which also features eyes getting removed and was around the same time-period sort of maybe.

A little help here?

Brother Bill

Mini-Tribute:: Creature (1985)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before. The other day I snagged a used VHS tape of a movie I had vague negative memories towards at one of my favorite thrift shops because what the hell? It was only a dollar. But halt the presses! After watching the movie, I ‘m pretty sure my bad memories of it must be false implants of some sort because I suddenly love it! The movie in question is 1985's CREATURE. Am I sure I even watched this before or am I mixing it up with a sloppy fusion of ANDROID (which also featured KLAUS KINSKI) and boring INSEMONOID (which also featured a pissed off space monster)? As it turns out, CREATURE is one of the more entertaining ALIEN wannabes and from now on, I'm going to think of it in the same high regard as say FORBIDDEN WORLD (1982) and GALAXY OF TERROR (1981). Good lord is there anything more fun than a sci-fi horror hybrid riding the coattail exhaust fumes of the unmitigated masterpiece ALIEN? Doubt it.

And you know what's really weird? As much flack as CREATURE gets for being an ALIEN clone when you watch it now, it's actually more like a psychic precursor prediction of PROMETHEUS (try saying that a hundred times fast). Seriously there's some kind of DEAD SPACE death disease bouncing around this flick that transforms KINSKI into a black-eyed, space helmet headed zombie-oid who could easily have been lifted right out of that semi-recent spooky space jam. Plus you want stars? I'll give you stars! CREATURE boasts cinema's greatest father, LYMAN WARD!!! He's the dad of both FERRIS BEULLER and ELM STREET 2's Ron Grady (ROBERT RUSLER). And how about sophisticated glamour-puss DIANE SALINGER? Not only did she star in both PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE and PEE WEE'S HOLIDAY, she was also married to PEE WEE as Penguin's ma in BATMAN RETURNS! She's a total badass in this and probably the inspiration for that Kay-Em 14 character (LISA RYDER) in JASON X. Not that you need more than KINSKI.

I guess now is the part when I'm supposed to plead to the powers that be that CREATURE be released on Blu-ray but nope, I gotta say I'm all set here with this rusty and crusty VHS tape! The picture is actually way better than what I had prepared myself for and there's something so fitting about watching low-tech science fiction on tape because it comes across as an intercepted transmission of some sort. Plus I'm a horror fan not a horror consumer and yes, I really dig the nostalgia factor. Folks keep trying to make nostalgia a bad word but that's never going to work on me. Perhaps the most retro reaction I'm going to have toward CREATURE is I'm going to watch it again! Does anyone remember when a movie rental was so special that you tried to get as many views as you could out of it before you returned it? In closing, this is one of the best dollars I ever spent. CREATURE delivers all the eighties goodness you could ever want plus it's never stingy on the blood and gore and it's kind enough to treat you to a decent view of the big bad monster. What more can you ask for? Should I have told you the plot? C'mon you know the plot.

Blessed Are the Children (2016)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

When I was in art school a million years ago all I wanted to do was paint drippy abstract monstrosities while my teachers seemed bent on forcing me to draw stiff bowls of stale fruit. I had a class in which the entire semester consisted of sketching exactly ONE drawing of a boring statue. I swear if I didn't have my trusty Walkman (and my well worn JAMC "DARKLANDS" cassette) I probably would have murdered someone. Anyway, one of my teachers justified this torture by saying, "You have to learn the rules before you can break them" and that has always stuck with me. Strangely enough that sentiment popped into my head recently while watching BLESSED ARE THE CHILDREN, a movie that lovingly salutes many a horror trope and then when you least expect it, slyly stomps on a few too. One thing is for sure, writer/director CHRIS MOORE has been doing much more than blindly collecting and stacking his shelves with horror titles throughout his life, he's obviously been closely studying what makes his favorite flicks tick as well.

Hey, we know Chris around here! He's shared more than a couple posts with us over the years. To tell you the truth, I never feel comfortable writing a review for a film from somebody I know. It's not because I'm worried that I can't be objective, it's because I'm worried I'd be the first person to cynically roll their eyes if I saw similar logrolling taking place on another website. But you know what? I should just lighten up. From what I've seen, journalistic integrity isn't exactly a gigantic concern within the horror community these days (and that's putting it lightly). Besides, at the end of the day, when it comes to a movie that's built to scare, it either works or it doesn't and for me, BLESSED ARE THE CHILDREN works. It could probably use some trimming down and some of the set pieces are sharper than others BUT (without ruining anything) let me just say that one scene in particular genuinely SHOCKED me and that's not the easiest thing to do. Trust me, it's safe to say the threat(s) rampaging in this film are undeniably off-putting and alarming as hell.

BLESSED focuses on three equally charming gal pals (KALEY BALL, KENI BOUNDS and ARIAN THIGPEN) and it's sorta like SEX IN THE CITY if you replaced THE CITY with the suburbs and the SEX with being mercilessly stabbed to death by a horrific figure wearing a wailing and somewhat accusatory baby mask. Much of it may read low budget and homegrown but that's part of its charm and it shouldn't throw off true slasher fans raised on backyard delights (and KT favorites!) like THE MUTILATOR and OFFERINGS. You'll note right from the opening credits though, which are a lovely homage to HALLOWEEN, that director MOORE has loftier goals in mind and he does a fine job manipulating the viewer's focal points particularly in the well-edited Di PALMA-esque kill scenes. Garnish all that with blood red clad ambiguous marauders slicing through the flick like personified trigger warnings for anyone traumatized by THE BROOD and/or DON'T LOOK NOW and you've got a rather impressive roll call of worthy horror inspirations.

I'll pull back the reins before I oversell. That's never a fair thing to do. I can think of a few films I'd have a much healthier relationship with if only they weren't rammed down my throat. I just know if I had blindly rented BLESSED from the Redbox I would have started off smugly thinking I knew where it was going and I'd have been proven completely wrong. These days independent filmmaking is a lot cheaper and easier than it used to be and that can lead to a bunch of movies by people who are let's say, talent-challenged. That's not a problem here at all. You can tell the guy behind the camera is genuinely interested in the characters and his empathy for them is contagious. Better still for gore hounds, MOORE is not afraid to take the gloves off and get nasty at the precise moment it's required and he knows enough about horror movies (and slashers in particular) to understand which batons are worthy of passing on and which ones are ready to drop. Plus, I gotta add a busload of extra kudos for the smooth, neutral handling of the potentially incendiary subject matter. This soufflé could have easily flattened into a preachy pancake with a more heavy-handed chef and that fate is admirably avoided. So without any bias, I say, check out this movie; it's wonderfully unnerving, notably shocking and an irrefutable reminder that the spirit of independent horror is alive and slashing. And with some bias I'll add, YAY CHRIS! Good job, buddy! Don't forget us little guys!

Name That Trauma:: Jared D. on a Black and White Horror Trivia Book

Posted on By unkle lancifer

So, back in middle school, I checked out this book from the library more times than I can count. I can't remember the name of it to save my life though. It had a hand-drawn black and white cover and the bulk of it was filled with information regarding Dracula and other generic scary things. But at the end of the book, there was a section of horror movie trivia that included questions about "Frankenhooker" and the name of the video store that Jason walks past in one of the "Friday the 13th" sequels. If this rings a bell for anyone, I would greatly appreciate it!

Thank you!

It's a Horror to Know You:: Jon Clark!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

It's a Horror to know You Jon Clark!

What is the first film that scared you?

Halloween 3, I know it gets a bad rep and all that but when I saw it, it was on TV (edited for TV at that) I was just a little boy, maybe six (who didn't know or CARE that the film didn't have Michael Myers in it). It was the opening scene where the mechanized man walks into the hospital and makes the "C" with his thumb and forefinger, then QUIP, plugs it into that poor dude's eye sockets. There's that, which is pretty damn horrible and terrifying, but what does he do next? He wipes his fingers off on the curtain! Damn, that' s just cold. As was always the case when I was a kid, pretty much right after that scene, it was time for me to go to bed (thanks mom!). So of course all that night I knew, just knew for sure some creepy dude was about to open the door and come for my eyeballs!

What is the last film that scared you?

A few months ago, I was on my computer working during the day with no one in the house, and sometimes I open up a little window on the screen and watch movies or TV while I work, usually when I'm inking. It just plays in the background. I decided to have a mini marathon of the syfy show Paranormal Witness. Each case has the real people telling their stories. Sometimes they have videos of what they saw, sometimes they have police officers(!!) saying "this was real." Watching episode after episode gave me this awkward feeling. Just this cumulative effect of woah, man, something is really going on out there, this stuff is all real! I just got really creeped out and had to put something else on, like a comedy, you know… just until people came home… yeah, better with people around.

Name three horror films that you feel are underrated:

It's 1983, network TV, primetime, I'm in third grade, alien "Visitors" arrive. They are our friends. They just need our help. Oh, and they eat rodents, oh and they want to eat us too. This is V: The Miniseries baby. There is so much good about this show. I love the concept of the resistance. Julie's rise to prominence and unwanted power. The scene where the older Jewish father Abraham tells his son why we must hide the scientists breaks my heart. Even the scene when Elias's brother dies in front of Caleb, I don't know, it's borderline ham-handed but I get sucked back in each time to believe in the pain there… He was the doctor! And horror? Dudes and dudettes, my kid mouth gaped down like Diana's when she ate that mouse, and when Donovan kicked that guy's face off, it was nuts!

The Dead Zone. Yup, the one by Cronenberg. It's a movie that I find myself putting on all the time. There's an intensity and profound sadness to Walken. (on a side note: in my heart of hearts I believe that the comic book character John Constantine: Hellblazer was based off Walken in this film, has to be) The whole sequence with the serial killer "gazebo" is scary, intense, and shocking. Look at the details. Look at his room, it's the same from when he was a little cowboy. Herbert Lom, wow. Martin Sheen, on fire!

Near Dark. Vampires in Texas and no one says vampire. There's a sweet love story (that I buy right into) and the whole thing really makes vampires seem real. Of course you gotta duct tape up the windows because: vampires! Added bonus: I've read the screenplay and it's not written like any other script I've read, it's horror film poetry. I leave you with exhibit A and B: "Is this shit kicker heaven or what?" And Homer.

Name three horror films that you enjoy against your better judgment:

This one was the hardest one to answer, because well, if I love something, I love it. I go with my feelings and let go of the critical judgments.

The Crazies remake. (this was surprising because I'm usually a purist and George Romero is a hero of mine) I saw this in a second run theater with a friend the first time around, and I thought it was pretty good. I watched it again just recently and liked it even more. There are some really great suspense moments. That pitchfork scene being one. It kicks off right away and doesn't really stop. Eisner did a great job with it. I gotta give him respect.

13 Ghosts. The William Castle original. It's just goofy fun and I can watch it with my son. It's a live action Scooby Doo movie. There's a lion ghost! And I love William Castle anything.

Prince of Darkness. I've read and heard the arguments. Here's how I feel about this one: It's like old Star Trek, yes, the acting can be over the top (or underwhelming for POD), yes, the effects are mostly cheesy (I mean The Thing vs. POD, how the mighty have fallen) BUT, we're talking about something here. There is a solid story here. There is a big huge frightening concept about the nature of evil, where it is, what it wants. There is a science vs. religion argument here, and it's creepy. And I love it! I regularly re-watch the opening 45 minutes. I mean a month won't go by without me re-watching it. The idea that the church has been hiding a demon/antichrist in the basement for centuries, I don't know, maybe it's just because I think that's EXACTLY what they'd do… !

Name three favorite non-horror films.

A Simple Plan (also works in the underrated section) This movie is so freaking good! I don't know where to begin. The concept, the acting, the script, the direction (Sam Raimi!). Scenes turn and head into dark dangerous places that leave my head spinning.

Singing in the Rain. I am the biggest horror nut in the world, but hear me out. This is a case of the most talented people in the world firing on all four cylinders and then turning on the rockets too. You've seen baseball, this is Babe Ruth, you've seen basketball, this is Michael Jordan. These people are the best dancers, comedians, singers, choreographers, there's romance, spectacle, old school Hollywood. I LOVE this film.

The Sandlot. Again and again. Call me a softee. When they play baseball at night under the fireworks with Ray Charles playing in the background, my eyes well up. "You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!" Sandlot 4-eVer, 4 eVer.

Jon Clark has his first horror comic THIN coming out on September 7th through American Gothic Press. THIN is an unconventional horror story about an overweight woman who attempts a miracle weight loss cure and finds herself in a nightmare without a way out. It's intimate, visceral, and horror fans (especially Kindertrauma fans) should love it. THIN is available for preorder HERE and make sure you like THIN's facebook page HERE to keep up to date! Check out a preview of THIN below!

It's a Horror to Know You:: Chris Moore Writer/Director of Blessed Are The Children

Posted on By unkle lancifer

What is the first film that scared you?

The last time I did this, I named THE WITCHES, which is still about as traumatic as it gets (and I know there are millions of people who'd agree with me), but I just recently remembered that I first saw CARRIE around the same time I saw THE WITCHES. It was on TBS one night and I was watching it with my mom and sister and the part that caused me to run out of the room screaming was when Carrie was dragged into the prayer closet by her mother, that creepy organ music starts playing, and she lights the candle next to that scary St. Sebastian statue with the glowing eyes. I still remember leaping off the bed and running out of the room. I had this thing about organ music as a kid. It always terrified me. There was an episode of SHELLEY DUVALL'S FAERIE TALE THEATRE where they adapted SNOW WHITE and Vanessa Redgrave was playing the evil queen. The moment she decides to kill Snow White, she enters her cobweb covered lab as really spooky organ music accompanies her. I ran out of the room there, too. Besides that, WHO FRAMED RODGER RABBIT was pretty terrifying. That scene at the end where Christopher Lloyd's eyes pop out might have made me hide behind the couch a few times as a kid.

What is the last film that scared you?

I just rewatched CARNIVAL OF SOULS on that glorious new Criterion disc and, boy, does that one hold up! What a brilliant case of making something out of nothing. Nothing in that film should work, but it does. It's still one of the scariest movies I've ever seen. That scene where Mary is driving on that dark road at night and "the man" appears at her window…I always shriek. I know it's coming and I shriek. It's so nightmarish. Also, for some reason, THE INVITATION really got under my skin. I have a fear of cults and people from LA, so it hit a lot of nerves.

Name three horror films that you feel are underrated.

THE REDEEMER a.k.a. CLASS REUNION MASSACRE – This one is sort of like what would happen if ALICE SWEET ALICE and SLAUGHTER HIGH got drunk and had a really judgmental, mentally unstable (yet stylish) baby. A group of friends are invited to their 10 year reunion and find out that, not only are they the only ones there, but a mysterious preacher with a hard on for disguises and sinners has staged the whole thing so that he can punish them for their wicked ways. It's hard to describe what's so great about this movie, because it's sort of like a dream that seemed really creepy when you were having it, but when you try to explain it to your friend the next day, you're met with a "meh." The atmosphere, the synth-heavy score, the nonsensical bookends at the beginning and end, the religious hysteria, likable cast, and spooky disguises from the killer are not something you'll soon forget. The scene in the auditorium with the killer muttering some bizarre Biblical gibberish as a humongous marionette dances behind him will be one that'll be sure to give you the heebie jeebies. I'd be lying if this one didn't inspire a few elements of BLESSED ARE THE CHILDREN.

THE ATTIC – CARRIE SNODGRESS is so underrated, you guys. She really shines in this, which is, less horror film and more Tennessee Williams meets Baby Jane psychodrama. A lot of horror fans will probably get bored before the payoff, but it's worth it. Easily one of the saddest, most haunting endings you're likely to see. And that's not all! There's also a really cute monkey and RAY MILLAND as SNODGRESS' royal a-hole of a dad. Someone needs to clean this up and release it on Blu-Ray ASAP.

Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II – I LOVE the original PROM NIGHT, y'all. Like, I stayed up late on a school night once to watch and record it off of TV (I didn't know how to work the VCR timer, ok! Cut me some slack!), so I'm very passionate about it. However, HELLO MARY LOU is a MUCH better movie. No, it has nothing to do with the original (it was written by ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? alum/obvious national treasure Ron Oliver as a standalone film), but it's the perfect movie to watch when you'd like to marathon THE EXORCIST, CARRIE, and A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, but don't have the time. It takes the best parts of all those films and crams them into 90-ish minutes of surreal imagery, tongue-in-cheek dialogue, bad hair choices, and deaths to the tune of Little Richard. Thanks to ample airtime on USA Network back in the 90's, I saw this one constantly and, to this day, it never bores me for a second. Like THE ATTIC, this is crying out for a special edition Blu-Ray. Can someone make that happen? Scream Factory? Kino? Anybody? While you're at it, someone give us 3 and 4 on Blu-Ray, too.

Name three horror films that you enjoy against your better judgment.

The Last Horror Film – Billed as a follow up to Bill Lustig's super gritty MANIAC, THE LAST HORROR FILM takes the two leads of that film, keeps their same dynamic, moves them to the Cannes Film Festival, and adds on a dollop of tongue-in-cheek cheese. It's genuinely clever at times and always nothing short of entertaining. I mean, a slasher film at Cannes? Genius! Although, whoever decided to give Caroline Munro that ridiculous skunk streak in her hair should be shot.

Rob Zombie's Halloween II – I HATED Rob Zombie's first remake of HALLOWEEN. It was like he made a list of everything people admired from the original film and made sure to do the exact opposite with a cheesy backstory and a rushed SparkNotes version of the original tacked on to the last hour of the film with characters we don't like. To my great surprise, I ended up enjoying his sequel (white horse, ghost mother, and random redneck killings aside) and admired him dedicating almost the entire film to the fractured mind of Laurie Strode, who has gone from mild annoying in the first film to a full blown psychotic in the sequel. It works this time around, especially when she's surrounded by Danielle Harris, Brad Dourif, and Margot Kidder as the folks who lend her a shoulder to cry on AND it makes sense. I'd be a mess if I'd just experience all that crap, too. Hell, I wasn't even upset with RZ turned Dr. Loomis into a money-grubbing opportunist. At least he was doing something interesting and different. On top of everything else, many of the characters' deaths have legitimately emotional consequences for those around them, which one rarely sees in a horror film these days. I'll even admit that, during a certain scene, I might have wiped a tear away from my eye. Although it has MANY flaws, I admire the sheer audacity to release a film to millions of unsuspecting multiplex brats that had more in common with ORDINARY PEOPLE than it did with HALLOWEEN.

976-Evil – This was Robert "Freddy"Englund's directorial debut and it's a pretty solid first go-round. He has style to spare and, even when the story falls apart here and there, it's still always nice to look at. Plus, we've got Stephen "Evil Ed" Geoffreys as a possessed nerd with Sandy freakin' Dennis as his mother. Y'all, if there's one reason why you need to see this film, it's Sandy Dennis. Then again, Sandy Dennis is good enough reason to see anything. I believe someone once wrote (in regards to Dennis) "no home should be without one." They were right.

Name your three of your favorite non-horror films.

They seem to change every week, but – at the moment – here they are:

1. Nine to Five – Dolly, Jane, and Lily. What more do you want from a movie? Why WOULD you want anything more, you greedy bastard? Add in a great story, a ton of laughs, and Dabney Coleman being the world's funniest sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot and you've got yourselves a winner. I can quote it by heart.

2. Young Adult – Charlize Theron got the Oscar gold for Monster, but – as great as that performance was – I think this is her best performance. People didn't know what to make of this film when it was released (many still don't), but it seems to have developed a little cult fanbase. It's one of the most awkward and truthful dark comedies I've ever seen with Theron playing a washed up, emotional unstable YA ghostwriter who returns to her hometown to steal her high school boyfriend back from his (really rather nice) wife. Theron throws out the gimmicks of her Monster performance and presents us with a woman desperate to remain relevant in a world where all she's ever had to offer was beauty. It's heartbreaking and bitterly funny with one hell of a sucker punch of an ending. It's one you'll either love or hate. I, for one, think it's brilliant.

3. Terms of Endearment – There's been a lot of revisionist clap trap I've read about this film in recent years. People say it's manipulative and schmaltzy, but they can suck an egg. Every performance is perfect and it mixes comedy with drama perfectly. There are so many moments that break my heart, but number one for me is when Jack Nicholson shows up while Debra Winger is in the hospital to check up on Shirley MacLaine. Her bemused "Who'd have thought you were a nice guy?" always resonates with me more than any other moment in the film. Weird, I know.

UNK SEZ: Thanks, Chris Moore! Folks, stay tuned for much more on BLESSED ARE THE CHILDREN and In the meantime, follow the official Facebook page HERE and make sure you check out the creepy trailer below!

15 More Non-Horror Movies For Horror Fans

Posted on By unkle lancifer

A while ago, yours truly and MEEP of CINEMA DUMEEP did a post called 40 Non-Horror Flicks for Horror Fans (HERE). I always swore we'd do a sequel because it was such a fun subject but we never did. Truth is, I suffer from a debilitating disorder called sheer laziness so I avoided the idea of tackling 40 more movies like the plague. But now I figured out a cure! Why don't I just do 15 at a time!? How hard is that? So here ya go! Here's 15 MORE Non-Horror Movies for Horror Fans!

MULHOLAND DRIVE (2001)
I got some mild grief for not including DAVID LYNCHin our last list but I swear I thought he went without saying! Everybody knows DAVID LYNCH is a horror-happy mo-fo. His output of material that can bitch slap your very soul is legendary. Allow me to put MULHOLLAND DRIVE up here to represent ALL of LYNCH's work. There are moments in this movie that are ten times scarier than entire horror franchises put together and I'm not even remotely kidding. After taking to task the heartless Hollywood dream-machine, this psycho-tsunami also rips into rubble nearly every brick in the wall that separates fluffy wishful delusion and screaming, rotting reality. If I should ever neglect to mention LYNCH again, please note that it may be due to my sanity's desire to protect itself and allow me to remain blissfully in denial.

BARTON FINK (1991)
The big question here is how did I miss this Kafka-esque COEN BROTHERS nightmare in our first list? Luckily JON GOODMAN's excellent recent turn in 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE reminded me of this here magnificent portrait of steadily decreasing mental health. I've always felt that BARTON pairs up incredibly well with our pal CRONENBERG's NAKED LUNCH! Both movies feature the incomparable JUDY DAVIS, interchangeable wardrobes and luscious decrepit wallpaper! Oh boy, I've sufficiently sold just such a double feature to my own self!

STREETS OF FIRE (1984)
Every horror fan worth their salt is a fan of ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK and rightly so. But do you know what makes a fine companion to EFNY, even perhaps more so than the flick's legit sequel ESCAPE FROM L.A.? I say, STREETS OF FIRE! Think about it, both jams contain gruff rebel tough guys of few words who must navigate a dangerous and dilapidated urban environment to rescue someone while accumulated a rag tag group of eccentric allies along the way. Furthermore both movies showcase musical numbers! Watch ‘em back to back; you'll see what I mean.

JOHNNY HANDSOME (1989)
Back in the day MICKEY ROURKE was my favorite actor and in this film he stars with a bunch of my other favorite actors like LANCE HENRIKSEN, ELIZABETH McGOVERN, MORGAN FREEMAN, FOREST WHITAKER and the worship-worthy ELLEN BARKIN. ROURKE plays a facially deformed gangster who gets a brand new mug and sets out for revenge on those who double-crossed him. Like many a horror flick, JOHNNY HANDSOME concerns itself with the anguish felt by those who don't fit in and the cathartic thrill experienced when they find retribution against the forces that alienate them. This fine film comes courtesy of the great WALTER HILL, the same guy responsible for the aforementioned STREETS OF FIRE. If he's not a household name in your house, you live in a dump!

SECRET CEREMONY (1968)
I'll never forget the day back when I was in college when I turned on my TV and randomly found this hauntingly bizarre movie I'd somehow never heard of. Obviously I had to skip all of my morning classes to see how things worked out. In this psychological nesting flick a child-like waif (MIA FARROW) pretends an opportunistic prostitute (ELIZABETH TAYLOR) is her long lost mother while her sleazy stepfather (ROBERT MITCHUM) threatens to tear their fantasy playhouse down. It's not exactly action packed but it's gloomy and goth-y enough to weave a spell. Many people find this flick to be a campy howler but as usual I genuinely love it and have no idea what they are talking about.

UNDER THE SKIN (2013)
I see you A24! I'm on to you and your sneaky mission to make me feel as square as an Amish grandmother at a Damien Hirst exhibit. It just so happens I'm artsier than you think! Luckily I was still spinning from A24's more recent abstruse opus THE WITCH when I checked out UNDER THE SKIN so that I was ever so slightly prepared for its too clever ways. Both flicks play with being frustratingly pretentious, lull you to near boredom and then slam with you with something you'll never forget. There's at least one scene in UNDER THE SKIN that sent a lightning bolt of ice down my poor spine. I know I shouldn't like SCARLETT JOHANSSON because she's so popular but I just do and I always will. She takes chances and then there's that voice. Anyway, I double dare you to watch this in a double feature with XTRO (1983).

IN HER SKIN (2009)
As long as we're on the subject of films with SKIN in the title, remember this one from Australia? I sure do. The damned thing is based on a true story and it worked the miracle of somehow plunging my faith in humanity to a new impossible low. The sad thing is that when I think of this movie I can never remember the title because it's frustratingly vague and vaporous to the point of nonexistence. They should have just called it "Caroline" after the crazy lunatic main character! Please read my fuller review HERE and only watch this if you want to be truly disturbed.

INSTITUTE BENJAMENTA (1996)
I'm at a loss for words when it comes to this movie. I used to play it over and over again at the video store I worked at and so I must have seen it a zillion times but I'm still not sure what happens in it. I guess the plot is not the point anyway. It's like opening a dark closet stuffed with morose emotions that come crashing down on top of you in slow motion. The soundtrack is the saddest thing in the world and paired up with the ethereal beauty of ALICE KRIGE, it's almost too much. If you can't find this, find anything created by THE BROTHERS QUAY. They are geniuses.

WALKING AND TALKING (1996) and MY MOTHER IS A WEREWOLF (1989)

I'm including these two not because there is anything remotely scary about them but because they both feature characters that horror fans can relate to! W&T is from director Nicole Holofcener and it stars CATHERINE KEENER as Amelia, a tightly wound woman who is adjusting to the upcoming marriage of her best friend. The cool thing is that Amelia spends a lot of time at the local video a store and dates a clerk named Bill (KEVIN CORRIGAN) who ends up being a Fangoria –loving horror fanatic. On their first date he even takes her to a horror convention where they view awesome effects created for BASKETCASE 2 (or 3?). The comedy MY MOTHER IS A WEREWOLF is probably less of a stretch for our horror loving readers because not only does it concern lycanthropy but it also features ELM STREET alum, JOHN SAXON. Better still the film's young heroine's best friend Stacie is played by FRIDAY THE 13th PART 7's Maddy aka DIANA BARROWS. Like W&T's Bill, Stacie is a huge horror hound who drags her pal to a convention and those with an eye for details are sure to find lots of cool horror related stuff lurking in the background.

BLADE RUNNER (1982)
I know I hardly need to bend over backwards to convince film fans about the plentiful merits of BLADE RUNNER but I'd like to point out how horror-lovers especially will feel right at home with its themes. I mean, the plight of the film's man-made replicants to come to terms with their mortality and to confront their maker's vanity spurred cruelty is right on par with the perils of Frankenstein's creation. Truly, as much as folks try to complicate the matter, the processing of one's inevitable death is the meat and potatoes of horror; everything else is garnish. It doesn't hurt that BLADE RUNNER is often caught skipping rope with both ALIEN (they hang in a seemingly shared universe) and THE SHINING (JOE TURKEL plays an uncannily similar enigmatic character in both films and the theatrical cut of BLADE closes with extra footage from THE SHINING's angel's-eye view opening credits).

SPACE TRUCKERS (1996)
Let's say we stick with sci-fi for a moment! If I happen to be the only person in the universe with a soft spot for SPACE TRUCKERS, I am absolutely OK with that. Although why any horror fan would ever choose to miss a STUART (RE-ANIMATOR) GORDON flick is beyond me. Sci-fi comedies are almost always a fun time and I'm thinking this one is good enough to double feature with THE ICE PIRATES! You get DENNIS HOPPER, STEPHEN DORFF, DEBI MAZAR, ALIEN 3's CHARLES DANCE and even some square space pigs! The CGI is dated but the physical effects stand up and I like how it all feels like a lost HEAVY METAL comic.

FIVE CORNERS (1987)
This is such a great film and I'm guessing the only reason it has fallen into the cracks is because it's so difficult to categorize. It doesn't help that audiences sometimes have a problem following multiple storylines and digesting dark themes and quirky humor at the same time. JOHN TURTORRO plays a recently released stalking psychopath named Heinz and ever-reliable JODIE FOSTER is the rightfully worried object of his obsession. Heinz's interactions with his loopy head in the clouds mother are sad and chilling at the same time and keep an eye out for scene-stealing horror royalty ELIZABETH BERRIDGE of THE FUNHOUSE as a wacky glue-sniffing party girl.



BADLANDS (1973)
In the comment section of our previous 40 NON-HORROR FLICKS post I promised to include two titles if ever we did a sequel and this is the first of the two! Look kids, life is not complete until you see TERRENCE MALICK's take on the legendary murder spree of Charles Starkweather starring the impeccably cast MARTIN SHEEN and SISSY SPACEK. This movie is so beautiful and poetic you may have to put a post-it-note on your TV to remind you that something horrible is taking place.

THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN (1982)
This is the second film I promised to cover if ever we should do a Part 2! I am sure you all know that my arm does not exactly have to be pulled to cover any film that stars the incredible DIANE FRANKLIN of AMITYVILLE 2, DEADLY LESSONS and SUMMER GIRL fame. Heck, she doesn't even play a particularly nice person in LAST AMERICAN but I'm in awe of her anyway. Basically this film is like somebody stomping on your heart for 90 minutes to the beat of early eighties new wave. Why, the only thing as heartless and unfair as this teen comedy's universe is life itself! Horror fans should dig the whole thing as all the action seems to be taking place about a block away from their favorite slasher flick and they're sure to recognize FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 4'S LAWRENCE MONOSON in the lead role!

A FACE IN THE CROWD (1957)
Here's the last one for now and it's a doozy! An unrecognizable ANDY GRIFFITH portrays a drunken lout named Lonesome Larry Rhodes, who has a penchant for speaking his mind and is discovered by radio producer Marcia Jeffries (PATRICIA NEAL) sobering up in jail. Soon his homespun wisdom is taking the country by storm and he becomes a power hungry political figure with a talent for manipulating the public to do his biding. Eventually it becomes all to clear to Jeffries that if she has not created a monster, she has at least empowered one and set it loose upon the world. GRIFFITH's goofy grinning sociopath is legitimately mortifying and most horrific of all is how terrifyingly timely this brilliant slice of cinema from the great ELIA KAZAN (ON THE WATERFRONT, EAST OF EDEN) is today.