Folks, my disloyal computer is still acting a fool so I'm going to keep this short so as to not incite my chucking it out the window. Lend me your ears! I've got an idea that's going to change the way you live! Surely you have a couple of those clear plastic VHS (Amaray?) boxes lying about your pad? If not, you can still order them from AMAZON. Do as I did and take some of your beloved movie Tie-In paperback books and shove them inside! Look how handsome that is! What a wonderful conversation starter! Your friends will marvel and then go home and secretly cry jealous tears in quiet seclusion! Stand warned though stalwart chums, this method will not work with CHELSEA QUINN YARBO's marvelous adaption of GARY SHERMAN'S tragically underrated masterpiece DEAD AND BURIED (1981)…it's too darn fat!
Name That Trauma:: Darkko on Bumpy Maggot Bites
Hello everyone at KT,
I've been searching on and off for years, looking for a film that traumatized me as a child.
I remember a kid, maybe around 8-12 years old. He either gets lost or escapes into a forest. Exhausted, the kid falls asleep. He wakes up, covered in bumpy bites. Upon inspecting them, maggots start to come out of the sores!
This was extra disturbing to me, as my dad would spend much of his free time tanning outside. I would witness flies landing on him, and I thought for sure what happened in this film would happen to him!
I was probably around 12 when I saw it, so late 80s or early 90s is when I most likely watched it. I thought it might be The Emerald Forest 1985, but I just watched it and it was a no go.
Thanks for any help, and long live KINDERTRUAMA!
~ Darkko
Name That Trauma:: K. Eds on a Tormented Teen Tied to an Operating Table
Hey, KT
I've been trying to remember what this one was for ages, and it terrified me when I was young. From what I can remember, this may not have been a movie, but more likely an episode of some series.
The scene I remember has a black teenager tied down to an operating table and he is surrounded by a horde of tormentors, one of which has very subtle clown makeup and is about to cut open his chest with a scalpel. I think he had a fear of surgery or something, and so it was likely something to do with nightmares coming to life. I think the kid may have had a yellow and black jumpsuit on, but that's not so clear.
Perhaps your readers can help!
Streaming Alert:: Home For The Holidays (1972)
Hey folks, I have a lot of egg nog in my system and that means I don't have time to play with you. DON'T EVEN call yourself a horror fan if you've never seen HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS…serious…DON'T EVEN. I don't care if it tastes like medicine….you eat it anyway!!! What I do for you kids! My computer is so ancient that every sentence I write is preceded by a spinning rainbow ball! It keeps spinning and spinning! It's making me dizzy! The simplest post is like knitting a sweater! Not that you care with your instagrams! Did I spell that right? You know what? Why don't you put your criticisms where the monkey puts the nuts? One day your Unkle will be dead and gone like a VHS tape and you'll be all teary-eyed and missing me never realizing that YOU ARE THE MURDERER! Glug-glug..hiccup and furthermore glug-glug Smurfs in the ceiling!!!! Ah, look at the pretty pretty lights!!!!! Happy Merry Christmas Eve. I love you!!!!
Streaming Alert:: Monster Christmas Mash
Let me share with you one of my most favorite Christmas records of all time, THE MONSTER CHRISTMAS MASH! I first bumped into this groovy gold mine of holiday lunacy in a thrift store in the late eighties and it has slowly ear-wormed its way into becoming an essential part of my yearly festivities. I'm happy and relieved to see that the old devil has made its way to YouTube. I wish I could just plant the entire record on this spot but sadly it's chopped into way too many multiple parts. Don't worry though, we can all just take a field trip and jump to this playlist joint RIGHT HERE and listen to the whole album in order! Yay! I hope you have some (strong) egg nog ready…and plenty.
Here is a mere sample of what awaits you:
Mickster's Holiday Funhouse:: The Cads, Creeps, Cretins, and Cruds of Christmas Movies Edition
Christmas is right around the corner and that means it's about time for a holiday themed FUNHOUSE created and hosted by our old pal Mickster! In fact, this year marks the eighth anniversary of her very first KT contribution! Gee, It seems like only YESTERDAY. Anyhoozle, you best put on your thinking caps cuz Mickster's got some tough cookies today. Good Luck!
Name That Trauma:: Goorlap on Demolished Homes and Bombed Buildings
Hello there once again Kindertrauma,
I am looking for 2 movies of which I forgot the name.
Movie 1: Don't know much about this movie except the ending: a crane with a wrecking ball is demolishing houses while people are still inside. The crane is being operated by what I believe a girl with telekinetic powers. I think it's a movie from the 80s or 90s.
Movie 2: A movie about a psychopath that puts bombs in buildings. A cop who is a skilled bomb dismantler goes after the bad guy and disables more than 1 bomb in the movie. In the beginning he is dismantling a bomb in a small claustrophobic space, sort of a tunnel in the building. I believe that this bomb is being protected by laser-beams. The ending of the movie sees our good guy dismantling a huge bomb on the highest floor of a skyscraper. The bomb is as big as the top of the skyscraper. The bomb gets dismantled and it's a happy ending. I think it's a movie from the 90s or begin 2000s. Or maybe from the 80s.
Someone know what the names of these movies are? I watched both movies on television (I'm from Belgium btw). I'm pretty sure that they are both American movies.
Friendly greetings,
Goorlap
Sunday Streaming:: Ninja III: The Domination
Oh Geez, that ELECTRIC BOOGALLO doc has left me with a strong case of CANNON fever! What to do? Hey, it looks like our fine friends over at the YouTube channel THE PARAMOUNT VAULT has the solution! Let's say we all watch NINJA III: THE DOMINATION! Don't worry, you don't have to see the first two NINJA movies to understand this one because it defies understanding anyway! All you need to know is LUCINDA DICKEY rocks hard and is a champ at playing the video game BOUNCER. If you're still not cured, it looks like a bunch of other CANNON flicks have ended up in the same joint! I see HE- MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE, MISSING IN ACTION, AMERICAN NINJA, KING SOLOMAN'S MINES and much more! They're all FREE, they all look great and it's all on the up and up! Why are you so generous PARAMOUNT? Are you possessed?