Playroom (1990)

It’s always a welcome gift when I stumble upon a horror movie from back in the video store days that I somehow missed. Manny (DR. GIGGLES) Coto’s directorial debut PLAYROOM (which oddly enough is based on a story by THE Jackie Earl Haley) was able to evade me for years as I confused it with another movie that I had seen (THE CLUB (’94)) because they had similar VHS cover art (or at least I thought so at the time). It’s all for the best though because I’m sure I would not have appreciated this absolutely bonkers movie back in my youth when I tended to think in a more linear fashion and was far less generous with horror movies that colored outside the lines or went completely off the rails as this one does. As fate would have it, now is exactly the right time for mine and PLAYROOM’s paths to cross because it is exactly the type of lunatic volcano you want to dive into in the dogs days of summer when the outside world is inhabitable and you have zero desire to mingle with boring reality.

For the most part, PLAY ROOM is all about kindertrauma. Chris (ubiquitous actor Christopher McDonald of everything from THE HEARSE and GREASE 2 to HACKS and the latest BEVERLY HILLS COP) has recurring nightmares about his childhood particularly that one time his entire family was killed while excavating a European monastery which housed the tomb of a ten year old rumored to be immortal Prince whose hobbies included torturing people and worshiping demons and also happened to be Chris’ not so imaginary friend (you know how it is). Naturally as an adult Chris decides to return to the crumbling tomb with some expendable friends to face his fears (and write a magazine article) but unfortunately his supernatural childhood buddy is still occupying the joint and the already tightly wound Chris begins to unravel to such a degree as to make Jack Torrence seem mellow. Complicating matters further, a mental patient (GHOST’s eternally typecast Vincent Schiavelli) who was was wrongfully framed for killing Chris’s family (it was kinda more the immortal torture-happy not so imaginary friend’s fault) is skulking around with a bone to pick and a pick axe to pick it with. Trust me, chaos ensues.

PLAYROOM offers a rather persuasive setting throughout having been filmed in what appears to be (for the most part) actual crumbling Serbian tombs (only a late in the game RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK ready rope bridge fails to convince). The sense of claustrophobia that abounds is not exactly DESCENT level but it works. McDonald though frequently grating and over the top, is at least authentically unhinged and the film sports many a familiar face to horror fans including Aron Eisenberg of AMITYVILLE 4: THE EVIL ESCAPES as the creepy ghost kid, Lisa Aliff of FREDDY’S NIGHTMARES as Chris’ long suffering girlfriend, Jamie Rose of JUST BEFORE DAWN as a clearly doomed bohemian model and FRIDAY THE 13th: THE FINAL CHAPTER’s Kimberly Beck in a one scene cameo as a secretary who gets to miss all the mayhem. Where PLAYROOM gets ruefully iffy (and yet wonderfully bizzare) is during its final act when it attempts to show the true face of its villain and he turns out to be a Chucky meets NUKIE by way of sickly Yoda puppet who when not picking its nose and eating it, stumbles around like a lopsided coat rack dispelling poorly dubbed threats and pleas not to be abandoned. It’s crazy looking, it doesn’t work, it’s probably why the film wasn’t released in theaters AND it’s also an awesome hoot. PLAYROOM is ultimately a hypnotic failure but its so memorable and so unique and such a lively ride (the barrage of final reel jump scare jolts actually do hit base) that I have to say I’m now a reluctant, not proud of myself in the slightest, fan.