Recently Viewed (By Unk)

In PHANTOM OF DEATH (1988), Michael York (THE ISLAND OF DR MOREAU ’77) portrays Robert Dominic, a concert pianist who suffers from a rare disease that speeds up his aging process and he’s so darn salty about it (who wouldn’t be?) that he goes on a cathartic murder rampage to let off some steam. Fortunately for viewers, he eventually unwisely sets his sights on the daughter of a police inspector played by the one and only Donald Pleasence who goes into full throttle, late phase Dr. Loomis mode which results in much yelling and delicious scene chewing in the beautiful streets of Italy. Although a little slow and meandering at times, this is a must see for Giallo fans directed by the legendary Ruggero Deodato (Cannibal Holocaust) that features a very welcome cameo by my personal hero (he really did me a solid once and I’m forever indebted) the late, great Giovanni Lombardo Radice ( THE GATES OF HELL, HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK, STAGE FRIGHT, CANNIBAL FEROX and plenty more) and a boasts yet another lovely score from the master himself Pino Donaggio (DON’T LOOK NOW, CARRIE, PIRANHA, THE HOWLING, TOURIST TRAP and countless other classics). I have no idea how I’ve lived so long without being aware of this weird gem (I’m still stunned by a scene involving a kid on a park swing with an elderly man’s face) and oddly must thank a local thrift store that hung up its video release movie poster for alerting me of its existence.

To tell you the truth, the sole reason BELIEVE (2000) fell into my orbit is because I’m down for collecting any VHS tape that happens to have a lenticular cover. As it turns out, I rather enjoyed this corny yet sweet nearly G-rated ghost flick mostly due to its winning cast. Benjamin Styles (Ricky Mabe) is sent to live with his uptight grandfather in a small town when his boarding school tires of his constant pranking which typically involves him convincing unsuspecting kids of ghostly happenings with ghoulish props and makeshift special effects. Soon it is he though who is witnessing supernatural phenomenon in the form of a ghostly apparition in a red dress. He elicits a local outcast/love interest (a young Elisha Cuthbert of HOUSE OF WAX (2005) who is absolutely adorable) to be the Nancy Drew to his Hardy boy and solve the mystery of who the phantom may be and why the two kids’ grandfathers (DEAD OF WINTER (’87)’s Jan Rubes and always great Ben Gazzara) have been feuding for years. Well shot and low key spooky, this Canadian production (so Canadian that even BLACK CHRISTMAS legend Andrea Martin shows up to portray a paranormal specialist) is sort of a lighter version of Halloween favorite THE LADY IN WHITE (’88) and is a great choice if you’re in the mood for the softer side of horror.

Yet another teen slasher following faithfully in the meta-horror footsteps of SCREAM (with a heavy dollop of WISHMASTER thrown in) SPLICED (2002) tells the story of angsty young horror fan Mary (Liane Balaban of 2012’s MANIAC) who goes to see a fright flick entitled THE WISHER and lives to regret it and then some. Not even her pill pushing high school guidance councilor/therapist Campbell (a fascinatingly out of place RON SILVER) can explain why after viewing the film, Mary has begun seeing it’s titular antagonist stalking about and has had every one of her own off-handed wishes come true with decidedly horrific results. SPLICED bites off a little more than it can chew for sure but its over the top histrionic heart, dubious dialogue (which seems almost AI generated) and film within a film references (THE WISHER movie is apparently sweeping the nation, a marquee shows it playing alongside HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION and it even has a convincing full page ad in the newspaper boasting its 4th smash week) make it pretty darn entertaining in my book.

I caught 1985’s THE DEADLY INTRUDER on VHS (Can't resist a Theon EMI clamshell case) many years ago but quickly wrote it off as yet another escaped mental patient picture (which it is) but something about its murky, late night vibe has always stuck with me. I even forgot the title but was able to track it down again having remembered that it featured Danny Bonaduce of THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY in a supporting role. Although this micro-budgeted semi-slasher is still muddy enough at points to make my mind wonder all over the place and subjects the viewer to a hysterical heroine who seems to have never learned how to run, it provides a groovy synth score, a nifty twist to deferential itself from the pack, and hopefully a small paycheck for a game but underused Stuart Whitman (Hooper's EATEN ALIVE). I would love to see this hidden oddity graduate to high definition some day but I gotta admit there’s something about its relentlessly dark, grainy, nearly indecipherable imagery that adds to its charm. Bonus points for one particularly vicious kill and a pretty decent stinger of a final image.

Fritz Lang’s SECRET BEYOND THE DOOR (1947) is a moody noir thriller and gothic romance that once it reveals its titular secret, may leave you wishing you’d revisited Hitchcock’s superior REBECCA instead. Don’t blame the great Joan Bennet (SUSPIRIA, DARK SHADOWS), she carries the whole affair on her back and it’s a pleasure to hear her distinctive voice even when she’s navigating through the tritest of dialogue. Bennet plays Celia, a navel gazing woman who marries a man she barely knows only to find out he is either a murderous psycho or just super grumpy and emotionally abusive. I mean, the guy doesn’t even bother to inform her that he has a son until poor Celia moves in with him! This is a beautifully shot black and white Universal film (that even reuses the exact foggy grove of trees featured in THE WOLF MAN to nice effect) with a decent paranoid set up and passable performances (GILLIGAN’S ISLAND’s lovey Howell Natalie Schafer steals a few scenes) but oh boy, the (non) payoff is a clunker and it’s very difficult to believe that there was any time period in which people would behave in the head-scratching way that the characters do here. Considering all that transpires, it's legit bonkers that the film insists on an "all's well that ends well" denouement.

I finally solved a “Name That Trauma” of my own recently. While finishing a flick on Tubi, it fortuitously suggested 2013’s SCARECROW to me as something I might be interested in next. I caught this movie on TV back in the day (apparently on the SyFy channel as it’s one of their originals) but forgot its title. All google attempts failed due to the fact that I wrongly remembered it starring Danielle Harris instead of Lacey Chabert (they do kinda resemble each other so I’ll give myself a break). I know that in most cases SyFy movies should be avoided at all costs but this one isn’t half bad and I think the fact that it stuck in my crawl for so many years says something. I do have a soft spot for the killer scarecrow sub-genre and I especially like that (the admittedly too generically titled) SCARECROW features a group of hapless people trapped in a farm house a la’ NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD with the fields around them becoming almost like shark infested waters. The scarecrow creature itself is more of a morphing root demon than any scarecrow I’ve ever seen but hey, all it really needs to be is an unpredictable threat and I’m on board. Sure it’s silly but the character dynamics are fun (there’s a love triangle and a requisite selfish saboteur) and the peck them off one by one, survival element works well. Lil’ Lacey even gets her chance to grab an axe and go relatively badass. Mostly I'm just relieved to finally find this needle in a killer scarecrow movie haystack and can’t wait to move on with my life.

I caught Gary Sherman’s brutal VICE SQUAD ('82) on late night HBO as a kid while staying at a friend’s house and it rocked my world. I love it’s grit, I love its sleazy LA setting and I especially love its beyond terrifying psycho antagonist Ramrod portrayed by the remarkable Wings Hauser (who incidentally also sings the film’s glorious theme song entitled “Neon Slime”). Not sure how a movie that features an OG MTV VJ (Nina Blackwood) being beaten to death with a clothes hanger has somehow almost become a comfort movie for me but here we are. I think it’s because it never fails to make me feel completely in danger even in my own home. It’s possible this flick permanently changed the wiring in my head all those years ago and I have to periodically watch it again to remember what it felt like to be that riveted.

I usually refrain from watching horror movies during the day but I was seeing such a frenzy of discourse concerning THE DELIVERANCE this past Labor Day that I had see what all the hubbub was about ASAP. Based on an alleged real haunting/possession, this soapy Lee Daniels anomaly doesn’t quite satisfy
but it sure is a hoot and a half to watch thanks to vibrant performances and its go for broke nature. Honestly, the less you take it seriously, the better off you’ll be. I’m assuming since it references VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, Blaine and Antoine, the “Hated it!” guys from IN LIVING COLOR, and features Colleen Camp as a doctor that its tongue is firmly planted in its cheek and high camp was an intended goal but I've heard otherwise from many. In any case, this is at least its own wacky beast and although it has trouble whipping up the scares due to its inconsistent tone, I’m always at least a little unnerved by the loss of personal control element innate to any possession film. The true mark of success for me will depend on exactly how many people I see dressed up as Glenn Close’s scene stealing character Alberta this Halloween. I’m guessing they’ll be legion.

I randomly came across THE TODD KILLINGS (’71) on DVD at my local used media shop recently and I’m so glad I did. Like Jack Ketchum’s THE LOST and Joyce Carol Oates' "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been" (the inspiration for 85's excellent SMOOTH TALK), it’s based on the crimes of Charles Schmid a young charismatic pied piper who somehow was able to entice his admirers into killing innocents for kicks. Underrated character actor Robert F. Lyons (DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW) plays Skipper Todd an amoral egoist who fancies himself a rock star, lives off his mother (DALLAS’ Barbara Bel Geddes ) and manipulates the impressionable until finally his cowardly crimes catch up to him. Early seventies California looks gorgeous throughout and I dig the Scooby Doo flavored fashions and the near constant rotation of recognizable stars of that era like THE WALTONS Richard Thomas as an easy mark for Skipper, and an underused Gloria Graham (BLOOD AND LACE) as his worried mom. FAMILY’s James Broderick (Mathew’s pop) is allotted a choice scene where he gets to read Skipper to his face and inform him how mundane his rebel without a clue edgelord tendencies are and that he is fundamentally as bourgeois as those he condemns. This one’s a real find for those enjoy seventies cinema, psychological thrillers or simply watching sociopath bullies get what’s coming to them!

I went to see A QUIET PLACE: DAY ONE in the movie theater but right at the point when the creatures were attacking New York City there was a bomb threat and the entire audience had to be evacuated! So there I was, much like the characters in the movie running down stairs while sirens roared wondering if these were my last moments of life. Well, finally the movie hit streaming and I can see what I missed (the theater did give me a free pass in compensation but I figured I use it on something else). I might have to watch the first two movies again to verify this but at this point, even though I enjoyed them all, I’m actually thinking this latest entry is my favorite of the three. I really loved the amped up disaster movie vibe and delighted in watching people running for their lives as the world crumbled around them (from GODZILLA VS THE SMOG MONSTER to EARTHQUAKE to the simulated Cylon attack in GALACTICA 1980, I’ve been a sucker for catastrophe ever since I was a kid). The fact that this flick involves monsters ravaging a modern city and attacking people in broad daylight in droves something I (and many I'm sure) have always fantasized for the ALIEN franchise, makes it all the more awesome sauce. I also identified with the characters (Lupita Nyong’o’s terminally ill curmudgeon Sam, STRANGER THINGS’ Joseph Quinn's overwhelmed and vulnerable Eric and HEREDITARY’s Alex Wolf as not long for this world Rueben) much more as they were flawed relatable outsiders rather than some milquetoast family who probably badgered retail workers before society collapsed anyway. Also this film knew that to truly drive me up the wall insane it must include a cat in peril due to my every nightmare involving exactly that. Just seeing a person carrying a cat in the city (looking at you INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS) is enough to make my right leg start shaking like a jack hammer. Bring on DAY TWO.

I had exactly zero hope for BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE because somewhere along the line I had thrown in the towel in regards to Tim Burton as a director. It almost seemed like he was purposely destroying everything I enjoyed in life and gleefully stomping on my personal favorite things. How dare he take beloved works like PLANET OF THE APES, CHARLIE & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, ALICE IN WONDERLAND (the mere thought of the break-dancing mad Hatter scene in ALICE still makes me want to jump out a window) and DARK SHADOWS and turn them into intolerable tacky looking miasma mush? Burton has kicked me in the shins more times than I can count and as far as I was concerned his talent had tapped out long ago. But then I started hearing all this (equally shocked) positive word of mouth and noticed rave reviews popping up and wondered could it be? Had the storm of ugliness finally passed? I had to find out and find out I did and gosh darn it, I loved BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE. It’s like a dream come true to me. It builds off of the OG beautifully, enhances and broadens its world, is routinely funny and most miraculously, has the manic energy, weirdo style and wild enthusiasm of Burton’s early assured artistry. I’m so glad I kept an open mind and gave it a chance because the climax of this movie brought actual tears of euphoric joy to my eyes. Ya see, I really loved the first BEETLEJUICE (and its companion cartoon) but had retroactively forgotten how much so due to Burton's string of debacles and now I feel like something of great value has returned to me. Listen folks, if I can believe in Tim Burton again anything in this crazy world is possible. Never forget that.