Spring Cleaning :: Trauma-Toys

Hey kids, it's time to help your Aunt John clean up the cluttered playroom in Kindertrauma castle. Which toys should we keep, and which should we toss?

1. Monster Old Maid You would think Mr. and Mrs. Dracula would have spared their daughter the indignity of being the Old Maid card by springing for some orthodontics. The poor thing looks like Agnes DiPesto with an overbite. It's no wonder she doesn't show up on the side of this sweet ride.

 

 
2. Creeple PeepleDid anyone really buy into the pencil-disguise craze?

 

 
3. Hugo, Man of a Thousand FacesAlso, did anyone buy into the bald doll-disguise craze? Virtual version HERE, and more Hugo love HERE.

 

 
4. Mystic Skull: The Game of VoodooI do love me some mysterious moving skull action.

 

 
5. The Weebles Haunted HouseThis was the toy your Aunt John lusted for every X-Mas season as a child, and every December 25th my mother would sheepishly offer the excuse that it must have fallen off the back of Santa's sleigh. Note to parents: Honesty is really the best policy with children. My mother's subterfuge made her look like a delusional liar, and a cheap one at that.
6. ScarecrowObviously, this one belongs to your Unkle Lancifer

 

 
7. Stretch MonsterIn many ways, this green guy was much less creepy than his bikini-clad nemesis Stretch Armstrong.

 

 
8. Bermuda Triangle Game

The tagline tells you everything you need to know about this one: "Sinister Mystery Cloud Swallows Ships."

 
9. The Mighty Men & Monster MakerMy brothers and I played with this, while my sister had the Fashion Plates. Sadly, the parts were not interchangeable.

 

 
10. The Queasy Bake OvenThe cakes and cookies you can make with this model look more appetizing than most of the things I've churned out with my old school Easy Bake.